by Dow, Candice
Cam wouldn’t be able to move on with his life for a long time, at least not until he gave our marriage another chance. I messed up. I get it, but even rapists get second chances. As long as I’m still fighting for us to be together, he will not have peace with another woman. Divorce or no divorce. Nothing stands in the way of what I want. Not to mention that being one of the hottest hairstylists in the A gives me access to a bunch of loyal, pro bono private eyes. Cam has 24-7 surveillance and doesn’t even know who’s watching. As I directed my client seated at the washbowl to sit in my chair, I laughed out loud. I love scheming. It is my best asset.
Tayshawn shook his head. “Yaz, you go straight Lynn Whitfield on Cam’s ass.”
He was referencing the character she had played in the movie A Thin Line Between Love and Hate. “Tayshawn, please. He should have more tact.”
“Poor Cam,” he said, shaking his head.
“Poor Cam, my foot.”
“Tell him that I’ll take care of him.”
I rolled my eyes. “Tayshawn, you think I wouldn’t stalk you too? I will hound you until you gone like any other chick.”
“Oh, honey, don’t get it twisted. You may be looking at a chick, but I’m a man and I got man strength. I don’t think you want trouble from me. I can pick you up with one hand.”
He choked the air and simulated dropping me to the ground. He curled his lips. “Ploop.”
The entire salon laughed hysterically. I didn’t have a comeback, which was rare. I simply said, “Tayshawn, you’re so crazy.”
“Don’t forget it, honey. You better be glad Cam don’t go down two-way streets, ’cause you would have some trouble. He is one fine man.”
We laughed again. That was the nature of the business at Bounce Hair Salon.
Ayana
A fter leaving the station, I sat in my car, breathing deeply and wondering what to say to this man. We’d known each other less than twenty-four hours and drama had already come knocking at my door. My life was drama-free and I wanted to keep it that way. Before I could dial him, my phone vibrated in my hand. CAMERON SMALL popped up on the screen. I was slightly nervous and confused about whether or not I should answer, but I did.
“Ayana.”
“Yes.”
“Quentin just called me and told me about the phone call you got. I apologize. I shouldn’t have dragged you into this. Things have been calm for a while…” He huffed. “Yeah, then again I haven’t been out in a long time either. So I thought things were cool between me and her, but I guess not.”
I breathed heavily because I didn’t know how to communicate what I needed to say without sounding angry. He continued, “I think it’s best if we keep it professional for now.”
My eyes closed and I almost felt rejected, but I agreed so I tried to shake the adverse feelings. “Yes, Cam, that makes a lot of sense.”
He said, “I had a good time last night, but she always finds a way.”
A part of me wanted him to stop letting her rule his life, but the other side of me wanted to be sure they were through before I appeared as if I were coercing him to leave his wife. Too many things were unclear and I didn’t think it was time for me to comment. The silence was uncomfortable and I could tell he wasn’t sure what else to say. On a lighter note, he said, “Is it OK if I still help you find a condo?”
“I hope so.”
“Cool. I’m going to text you the addresses. I’ll meet you at the first one at three.”
“So you’ll meet me in fifteen minutes.”
He laughed. “Yeah, something like that.”
“Make sure no one is following you.”
I thought it was funny, but it didn’t go over well. He didn’t laugh and he said, “OK. I’ll meet you there.”
As I headed to the complex, I felt nervous, confused, anxious, angry, upset, compassionate, and understanding all balled up into one. I pulled up and he was standing next to his car waiting for me. After several deep breaths, I got out. He was so handsome, patiently waiting as I walked toward him. He reached out for a hug. His sexy scent enveloped me as we embraced. A slide show of the night before shuffled through my head. It had felt so right and he had seemed so honest. What was the real story with his wife? Women are crazy, but usually for a reason, and I needed to know if Cam was the cause of this woman’s insanity. I hated the thought that we couldn’t further explore the passion and chemistry between us, but that’s the way things go when you have sex before all the necessary research is done. I wanted to kick myself for succumbing to him. As he held me close in his arms, I sensed that he regretted things too.
He said, “A’ight, I think you will like this place. These are more or less town houses. One-car garages.”
He opened the door and stood in the vestibule as I brushed past him to enter. There were a pair of stairs, one heading to the living room and the other leading to what I assumed to be the garage. I walked up to the living room and thought the layout was impressive. The living/dining space was open and the kitchen had granite countertops and stainless steel appliances. He said, “The cool thing about this place is that it’s brand-new, but ready for you to move in. You know, sometimes financing falls through and you get to benefit from someone else’s misfortune.”
“How so?”
“Someone had a contract on it, but things didn’t work out. Now the builder has to sell it.”
“Oh, OK. I get it.”
“So what do you think?”
“I like it. I actually like it a lot.”
“I’ve got one more for you to see and then we can revisit the ones you’ve already seen.”
We went to the other spot and I wasn’t really impressed, so we headed back to see the penthouse condo that I loved. When I walked in, I felt the same way I had the day before. I was almost convinced that this was the place for me. I told Cam that I wanted to put a contract on the place and he suggested that I sleep on it for a night or two, then visit it again.
Before parting, Cam asked me for a hug. He held me close and tried to gain eye contact with me, but I looked away. He grabbed my chin and said, “Look at me.”
We stood there eye to eye, neither of us saying a word, but the conversation was deep and filled with understanding. He knew how I felt and I knew he would love to change things if he could, but there was nothing that either of us could do. He shook his head. “Wow.”
I thought that was an interesting word choice. He noticed the perplexed look on my face and smiled. “Sometimes good things come at the wrong time.”
In a partially sarcastic tone, I said, “Or it’s possible that we pursue good things at the wrong time. Perhaps we should do some housekeeping before inviting someone else in.”
“Perhaps you’re right, Dr. Blue, but unfortunately the average person isn’t going to give it that much thought. They’re going to go with what feels right.”
“That’s why you have to strive to be above average.”
“The next time we go out, I will have my divorce papers in hand.”
I rolled my eyes. “You think I’m open to being harassed by your wife? Not.”
“Listen. I think it will be better when she’s officially my ex-wife.”
“Cam, court papers aren’t going to change who a person is at their core.”
He took a deep breath and let me go. “So I’m hopeless.”
He took a few steps backward. I looked at him and there was something sincere about him. I felt sorry for him, but I couldn’t jeopardize all I’d built for the possibility that my relationship with Cam could develop into something. It just wasn’t worth it to me.
I shrugged but I felt bad offering him this death sentence. It was in my nature to give hope, but I wasn’t sure that crazy, stalker-type women ever healed. He had made a bad choice and it was highly probable that she would continue to make his life a living hell for some time or at least until she found someone else or sought professional help. Unfortunately, the people who need the most help never vo
luntarily get it. Cam had a long road to travel and I didn’t know him well enough to willingly go for the ride.
“So I’ll give you a call tomorrow or Friday with my decision. I’m definitely leaning toward the penthouse.”
I could tell he wanted to talk about his situation further, but I wanted to end it right there. He almost appeared lost for words and then he finally said, “Yeah, that’ll be cool. I’ll wait to hear from you.”
“Have a good evening,” I said, slowly heading to my car.
He watched me until I started the engine before finally heading to his car. He waved and I waved back. It almost felt like a breakup, except we didn’t really know each other. As I pulled out of the parking lot with a sinking feeling in my stomach, I thought, Ayana, get it together. It was a one-night stand and that’s it.
Ayana
Two days later I sat in Cam’s office signing the contract to place an offer on the penthouse. He was very gracious, but standoffish at the same time, as he explained each page of the document. He suggested we lowball the seller initially; if they didn’t bite we could come back.
“You can gamble with condos. They don’t go as quickly as some houses.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“And you realize that you’ll be in that same situation whenever you want to sell. Are you comfortable with that?”
“I am and I’ll definitely be there for a while. With traveling and all, I just need a place to lay my head.”
“So what if you fall in love and…”
My eyes shot an invisible dart at him that landed right on his forehead. He wrinkled his brow and waved it off. “Never mind.”
I hadn’t really meant to respond that way, but something about his insinuating that I was looking for or that I needed love bothered me. Was it possible I had just wanted a one-night stand with him? I shrugged, hoping to decrease the tension in the room.
“No, go ahead. So if I fall in love…”
“It’s possible you could be trying to get this off of your hands in a year or so.”
“I would expect that I’d be dating someone longer than a year before I’d be willing to sign over my life to them for better or worse. You know?”
“You never know. Sometimes it takes years to make a decision about a life partner. Sometimes it takes minutes.”
He paused and looked at me. Does he think I’m that gullible? I smiled and shook my head a little.
“I’m comfortable with lowballing the initial offer. I try not to be anxious for anything, so I’m up for negotiating. As long as I get what I want for the price I need.”
“That’s what’s up,” he said.
After the last of the documents was printed and signed, Cam took his time explaining and clarifying everything a second time. He seemed so patient and passionate about his job. I liked that about him. I found myself smiling at him for no reason and he returned a smile each time he caught mine. As time passed I found myself less and less angry, and more and more curious about this guy. My heart and my brain told me that he was who he’d told me he was. He’d backed off like he promised. He didn’t bad-mouth his stalker ex-wife, like the average man would have been tempted to do. He simply admitted that he should get his business in order. He seemed noble in his words and actions. That was a rare combination and maybe that’s why I’d felt so deeply connected to him that I wanted to rock his world on a first date.
Still, I yearned to know his complete story. The what, when, and why of this guy’s being in any kind of domestic situation with that angry woman who had called my show. It would have been too hypocritical of me to pretend I was interested in hearing his side, so I suppressed the urge to ask.
After the paperwork was done, he suggested I wait for him to walk into the parking lot because it was dark out. He secured the building and we headed out to our cars. I noticed him staring at me as he held the door. I wished I could decipher what was behind his intense eyes: lust, lies, or a lonely man on a quest for love. I didn’t know and I didn’t slow my pace enough to figure it out.
I unlocked my car with the controller and he walked over and opened the driver’s-side door. I smiled. “Thank you.”
Ducking his head into the car he said, “I’ll be in touch hopefully by tomorrow. The agent should have everything first thing in the morning. At least he’ll be able to look at the offer and see if we’re in the ballpark. I can usually gauge by their response what the seller is willing or not willing to do. I’ll contact you as soon as I get a call from him. OK?”
I said, “OK. Hopefully we’ll talk tomorrow.”
“Definitely. You’ll hear from me one way or the other.”
“Sounds good.” I paused. “Thanks, Cam.”
“You’re certainly welcome.”
He reluctantly pushed my door closed and took two steps back. I felt awkward starting the car as he stood there, but I did. When I backed up, he raised his arm one more time in a wave. I beeped the horn, because I would have felt slightly stupid waving back. Finally he headed to his car.
I called my younger sister. “Aaliyah, what are you doing?”
“The same thing that I’m doing every night at eight.”
“Right, tell my nieces that I said good night.”
“Auntie said night-night.”
They responded in their three- and four-year-old languages. God only knows what they said, but it sounded sweet and momentarily distracted me from what I really wanted to talk to Aaliyah about.
“So did you sign the contract?”
“Yeah.”
“Did y’all discuss you-know-what?”
“No.”
“Did he tell you why, you know, he acted like, you know?”
I knew she had to do that for the sake of little ears, but I was irritated and I wasn’t in the mood to translate her cryptic phrases. Aaliyah knows me so well that when I paused before responding, she laughed and said, “Sister, let me call you when the girls go to sleep.”
“Thank you.”
“OK, Ayana. You can be such a jerk sometimes.”
“Never that.”
I headed to the grocery store to grab a roasted chicken for dinner. I rolled a cart into the store in something of a daze, simultaneously looking at messages on my phone. As I tried to prioritize whom I’d call back, I dropped a bag of grapes into the cart. My bottom lip nearly fell into the cart too when I noticed Cam staring back at me. Considering I was exhausted, momentarily I assumed I was hallucinating. Why was I imagining his smile? I rubbed my eyes to rid my mind of his image. Then I looked again. It was a real estate ad and it really was Cam. I was less than two miles away from my apartment and I frequented this grocery store. Never had I seen this ad.
As I strolled through the store with Cam’s eyes staring into mine, I imagined what could have happened if he hadn’t been married. With the type of attraction we shared, I was certain we would’ve been taking long strolls in the park, going out to dinner, making love any- and everywhere. He was probably the type that sent emotional text messages. Simultaneously, I snapped at myself. What if isn’t what is. Don’t fantasize when the facts are staring you in your face.
I was conflicted in my spirit. I was trained to analyze a person’s character after speaking to him a few times. Cam had given me no reason to believe he was a shady person. Everything about him seemed sincere. So why did I feel this empty feeling in my stomach? Why did I feel as if I’d been betrayed? Maybe I was just disappointed in myself.
By the time I reached the register, I had explored every possibility with Cam. He seemed little-boy sweet and as much as I knew it was never going to be, I wanted to know more about him. He seemed like an interesting and honest person. After interviewing one hundred men, I was convinced there weren’t many Cams. But damn, why did his ex-wife have to be a crazy lady? Oh well, shit happens, and by the looks of things other shit doesn’t happen.
When I reached my house, Aaliyah called back. There was no crying, yelling, or giggling in the backgr
ound. I said, “Now that’s better.”
She laughed. “Leave my babies alone. It only sounds like that when we’re in the bathroom.”
“Geesh. You need to put them to sleep sooner.”
“Why?”
“So you’ll have time to talk to your big sister.”
We laughed because Aaliyah was always the available one if you didn’t mind the background noise.
She said, “Whatever, Sister.”
“OK, so anyway, I told you how I slipped and fell on my Realtor’s thing the other night. Right?”
“Yeah, freaky-freaky.”
“Stop, you know he must have been extremely nice if I did that.”
“Yeah, OK, you told me all of that after you did it. And then his wife called and we concluded that you kick his nice ass to the curb. Correct?”
When I didn’t respond, she continued, “Ayana. You know better. We talk about chicks like you. Whether they are separated or not, they are still married. When he’s done, go for it.” She laughed. “I would say there are other fish in the sea, but I guess we all know that’s not true.”
We laughed really hard.
“So did he keep it professional when you saw him tonight?”
“Yeah, he did.”
“Cool. Maybe he is a good guy.”
“Duh, that’s why I’m calling you. I feel like he’s a really good guy and a part of me wonders if I should continue to talk to him until the divorce is done.”
“What if it’s never done? Would you be a mistress?”
“That’s not what I want, but I do like this guy. He has a wonderful spirit.”
“They all do in the first week.”
I laughed. “True. You’re not lying about that.”
“If anyone trusts your opinion you know I do. So let’s be honest, no one, not even Ayana Blue, can trust her own advice once the aura of romance is in the air.”
“Ha ha. Really funny. That’s my favorite saying, isn’t it?”