by Dow, Candice
I tried to shake the anger raging inside me when I walked back into the shop, but I couldn’t. The client sitting at my station just looked at me. I’m sure she, like everyone else in the salon, had witnessed the shouting match, even if they hadn’t been able to hear exactly what he was saying to me. Tayshawn looked at me with his lips curled. “Girl, that Cam is fine.”
“Tayshawn, stop. I’m not in the mood.”
I had a lump stuck in my throat. I wanted to cry. I wanted to tell Tayshawn and Casey what he’d just said, but I couldn’t. Since I met Cameron, he has never claimed another woman. A little part of me believed that he wanted to be with that chick, but the other side of me knew that he didn’t know her and that their relationship was only temporary. Why would he come here and claim her like that? I was so confused and hurt that I couldn’t find the words to share the event with my friends. I wanted to make Cameron’s life miserable. I didn’t deserve this type of treatment, especially not over a chick he’d just met.
After I rushed through several of my clients, Tayshawn looked at me and said, “Lunch, mama?”
I nodded, and we headed to the break area. “What’s Cam mad at you about now?”
“He said something about me taking Ayana’s car. Tayshawn, I didn’t do anything to her car, but I wish I had. I actually broke into his house yesterday, but I swear I didn’t do anything to her car. I swear.”
He laughed. “Yasmin, stop.”
“No, I’m serious. Cam just told me they are in a relationship. I hate him.”
“Yasmin, are you serious?”
I nodded.
“I’ve been telling you to whip it on him before someone else did.”
“Tay, he hasn’t touched me with a ten-foot pole since he walked out of that house.”
“Boo-boo, I hate to say, you really fucked up. A man always want some nookie.”
I took a deep breath. “You think I need to give up?”
“Hell no!”
He pulled out his iPhone and connected it to the Bose system. Beyoncé’s “Ring the Alarm” blasted through the speakers. He swung his arms in a psychotic fashion and shouted, “I been through this too long but I’ll be damned if I see another chick on your arm.”
The look in Cam’s eyes when he said he was in a relationship almost made me want to throw in the towel, but Tayshawn had me fired up as he ad-libbed lyrics. “Hell no, Ayana Blue, you ain’t gon’ be rockin’ chinchilla coats. ’Cause Yasmin ain’t letting go.”
I gave him a high five. Damn right. I wasn’t just letting him go. I was a part of Cameron’s success. Why should I let her reap all the benefits?
I sent him a text: CAM SORRY ABT WHAT U THINK I DID TO AYANA’S CAR. PLEASE BELIEVE ME.
He responded, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.
I sent back, WHY DON’T YOU BELIEVE ME?
He replied, HER CAR WAS IN THE SALON’S PARKING LOT. WHO ELSE PUT IT THERE?
I stood up, slightly baffled. Who else could have put it there? I questioned myself for those brief moments. Had I put the car there? I was letting his accusations make me crazy. How would I know how to find her car? And why would I park it in front of my salon? My head was spinning, and Tayshawn was still shouting out reasons why I should fight for my man.
I said, “Tayshawn, did you take Ayana’s car?”
“OK, Yazzy, I’m all down for you fighting for your man, but I’m not trying to go to jail for you.”
I laughed. “I hate you, Tayshawn.”
“Don’t hate me, baby. I’m too much to hate.”
Ayana
A lthough I’d thought that I wouldn’t see Cameron if he called, I couldn’t resist. When I answered the phone, he said, “You got a nice cocktail dress you can put on?”
“I do, but I’m sitting here typing up some notes for my book and—”
“You’ll have all day tomorrow. I promise I won’t bother you. I have a real important meeting this evening and I’d like to have you with me.”
He seemed so transparent, but I just didn’t understand. A man with so much to lose is usually a little more reserved when it comes to courting someone. I just didn’t understand his motives.
Around seven thirty, Cameron called to let me know that he was outside. I wore a plain strapless black dress that fit my size-ten hourglass figure perfectly. I’d pulled my hair into a bun on the side. I walked down the stairs and toward the car. As I got closer, Cameron stumbled out of the driver’s side and came around to open the door. I said, “Did you trip?”
“Nah, I was just caught up in how beautiful you look tonight that I almost forgot to open the door.”
I sat in the car and he walked back around to hop in. He smiled at me before pulling off. “You look so good.”
“So do you.”
He had on a black European-cut suit with a black button-down shirt. As always, he smelled even better than he did when I left him that morning.
“Where are we going?”
“I’m meeting with a group of investors about a property that I’m trying to buy in midtown. It was going to be just the guys, but they decided to bring their spouses. And I figured I’d ask if you wanted to come along.”
“So they bring their wives and you bring one of your clients.”
He laughed really hard. “That was cute, Ayana.”
“No, I’m serious.”
He reached over and touched the top of my hand. “I bring a beautiful woman that I’m attracted to. Doctor of psychology. Author. Radio talk show host. I’m batting one thousand. I mean, do I need to continue?”
“I understand where you’re coming from.”
“I’m glad you do.”
When we arrived at the Ritz-Carlton restaurant, we were ushered into a private room and seated at a long table. Cameron introduced me to two older white men with German accents. He proudly ran down my list of accomplishments, making me feel slightly self-conscious. I smiled. He said, “I stole her from the computer tonight. She’s working on her next book.”
Everyone seemed impressed. “Wow, how did you get started?”
I didn’t mind answering questions about my career, but I’d thought I was just supposed to be the arm piece, not the center of attention. Finally another couple arrived and the attention was shifted from me to the business at hand.
Cameron pulled ten small black spiral-bound books out of his Prada backpack. He passed one to each person at the table, including me. Then he put his Apple MacBook Pro on the table while everyone flipped through the investment plan. It was titled Blake’s Overlook. I scanned the detailed plan of how Cam intended to use his realty connections to purchase a piece of land in midtown Atlanta and erect a condominium high-rise. The community would have a resort look and feel. The target buyer would be young, successful, business-minded, and possibly living and doing business in other cities as well. The condominium association would also provide property management services for owners needing to lease. His prospectus was detailed and he made comparisons to other midtown projects that had had astronomical returns.
After we all flipped through the pages, Cam started a movie on his laptop. It was a simulation showing the land as it existed. Construction began and a lovely building appeared. We saw a lavish lobby. Cam clicked on six different floor plans; for each he could click to add or remove options. It was so easy to visualize the project after looking at the presentation. I could see in the other investors’ eyes that they wanted to throw millions of dollars into the project. Based on what I’d seen, I would have given him all the money he needed, if I could have. He was so well organized that it made me horny. I stared at him in absolute amazement, as did the others—so much so that when he finished they clapped.
Cam and I both were sure he’d nailed it. He reached under the table and held my hand after he put his laptop away. I could feel the moistness, so I took the napkin on my lap and wiped his palm. He looked at me and smiled. There was that extra-special something in his eyes. It might have been relief, but it m
ade me smile too. He was swiftly sweeping me off my feet, and I was actually enjoying it.
When we left the restaurant, we sat in the parking lot quietly for a second. He took a deep breath. “Thanks for coming, Ayana.”
“No problem.”
“Those guys are realty tycoons. If they’re in on this project, that means I’m really onto something. And if it goes as planned, I will be able to fly around the world and invest in other people’s dreams.”
“I’m happy for you.”
He looked at me. “I’m glad you were able to come tonight. They like to see stability. You know?”
“I see where you’re coming from.”
“My place tonight?” he asked, almost as if there were really no question that we were going to be together.
I had him stop at my place so I could grab some clothes. While I was there I got two flute glasses and a bottle of champagne. We headed back to his empty six-bedroom house. During the ride, he asked, “What’s going on in your mind?”
I smiled. “It’s funny. I’m usually the one asking that question.”
“I’m sure, but honestly though. Be straight up with me. What do you think about what’s going on?”
“I think it seems like a lot in a little bit of time. It feels like we’ve been together every day for a week, yet it’s only been two days. I’m not sure where it’s going, but I’m enjoying the time we’ve been together.”
“You think we’re moving too fast?”
“Yeah, kinda.”
“I agree.”
My heart skipped a beat. I wondered if this was where he was going to say maybe we should slow down. Instead he said, “You have no idea what it’s like to be a man like me, looking for a woman like you out here.”
“Make me understand.”
“I’ve known Quentin practically all of my life and we’ve had a lot of conversations about the next woman I would settle down with and he’d always say, ‘When you get ready, I’m going to introduce you to Ayana.’ When I met you that day, I wasn’t planning on saying anything, but the attraction was there for both of us.”
“Yeah, I think so. Quentin never said anything to me about you until I said something about the house.”
“He wanted the divorce drama to settle down some and ideally I would have liked that too. But I just want you to know that right now, I’m not seeing anyone but you.”
“Thank you.”
I wanted to retract my words because they sounded silly, but I guess in reality I was thankful that he had been straight up with me. I was thankful that he was capable of expressing himself and that we were getting the opportunity to know each other. There was an awkward silence. Finally, Cam said, “You seeing anyone else?”
“No, but I do have some dates lined up,” I said, wanting to see what his reaction would be.
His eyes quickly shifted. Then he noticed that I was smiling and he said, “Well, you need to cancel.”
“Already taken care of,” I said with a chuckle.
I liked that he didn’t try to play cool and pretend that I should do what I felt. I loved the transparency. This was probably the first time in thirty years that a man had come straight out and asked me to mark yes or no. The windows were half down and the night air blew through the car. The music played, and I felt as if I and this man I’d known for only a few weeks were Bonnie and Clyde.
I asked him to stop at the grocery store because he had nothing but beer in the refrigerator. He’d told me Sunday was his day to relax and I didn’t want to chance waking up to beer. I grabbed a few necessities, and we headed to his house. We sat down at the card table and opened the champagne. He poured, and I said, “So we’re exclusive?”
The side of his mouth curled. “Ayana, we had that long talk and you still got questions?”
“Just confirmation, Cameron, that’s all.”
“That’s cool.”
We sat and chatted about how well the meeting had gone as we polished off the entire bottle. We went upstairs to his bedroom and lay across the bed in our clothes. He said, “Let’s do our devotions.”
I agreed. I’d never had a man suggest this before we romp in the hay. He pulled out a large book of Christian devotions. He began to read and my eyes got heavy. Before I knew it his words had faded and I was asleep.
When his alarm clock went off at seven in the morning, he quickly started looking for his phone. I looked at myself, still in my dress, and him in his slacks. We must have been tired, and I wasn’t ready to wake up. I said, “Do you have somewhere to go this morning?”
“Nah, I usually go to church. I try not to schedule anything on Sunday unless I have to.”
I took a breath. “Can we go back to sleep?”
“Yeah. You may want to get a little more comfortable.”
I peeled off my dress and put on a T-shirt he’d given me and tried to drift off to sleep. Cam lay beside me and rubbed my back. We started talking and before I knew it, it was after nine in the morning. I sat up. “Cam, I have to go home and start working on this book.”
“OK. I promised I wouldn’t bother you. I may as well go to church now.”
“It’s interesting. You didn’t strike me as a faithful churchgoer.”
“Look. There was a time, when I first started in realty, when I didn’t know how I was going to pay my rent, and God has blessed me with all this. I have to go thank him as often as I can. Plus church is me and Mom Dukes’s quality time. Then I take her to the grocery store.”
“You’re a good son.”
“Yeah, you’ll have to meet my moms. She’s the bomb.”
That made me blush. Men who have healthy relationships with their mothers are typically good guys. Then there were the mom-son relationships that could be detrimental. From what I could tell Cameron and his mother didn’t have that type.
“You know my mother is eighty. Right?”
My mind was calculating as I said, “Yeah, you told me.”
“My sister is fifteen years older than me and my mother didn’t think she could have any more kids. She was forty-five when she had me and I came out perfect.”
“Now I wouldn’t go that far,” I kidded.
“Seriously though, she was pretty old and back then there wasn’t all this technology.”
“That’s true. I guess you were meant to be.”
“Don’t get Moms on that. She says I’m her golden child.”
“That’s sweet.”
“Yeah, at the risk of my sister’s self-esteem. She’s fifty and still carries baggage from when we were kids. She thinks my mother loves me more.”
“What do you think?”
He shrugged. “I think she loved the miracle and I just happened to be a product of that miracle.”
“Yeah, but parents really scar their kids when they favor one child over the other. And those issues don’t disappear with age. They actually worsen.”
“Yeah, my sister is still pretty bitter. She loves my son though. We manage. You know?”
“Yeah, it’s still sad.”
By the time I got home it was a little after eleven, and instead of sitting down at my computer, I started straightening up and talking on the phone with my friends. It had been a few days and no one had been brought up to date on my weekend love affair. I had several friends linked in on the call as I gave them the 411 on Cameron Small. They all agreed that he seemed well worth the risks. Cori said, “Everybody has a past, and at our age they all have crazy baby mamas. I’m almost afraid to date a man with no kids and never married. I think they have a whole different issue.”
“You’re right. My gaydar goes crazy when I see that. No kids. No ex-wife. No serious old girl. No Mandy,” said Mandy.
“Yeah, that’s true. I guess in theory everyone has drama, but when it comes knocking at your door, you’re like, I can’t deal with that,” I said.
“But when I look around at all my girls with good men, they all had a cross to bear. Whether it was finances, stepk
ids, ex-wives, ex-girlfriends. In the beginning it’s always something,” Cori said.
I needed their encouragement, because as much as I believed Cameron was a good guy, that phone call from his ex-wife kept playing in my head. I got off the phone with my friends and reminded them to be at the station on time. I had a segment called Martini Mondays, where my friends stopped by to talk about weekend relationship highlights—either our own or those we’d heard about. Cori laughed. “Can we discuss whirlwind love affairs tomorrow?”
I said, “We certainly can.”
I hung up with my girls and went to the computer. The Internet was distracting so I tried to keep my browser window down when I worked, but as soon as I opened it, a bunch of pornographic videos popped up. Every time I closed one, another one would pop up in its place. I was sure that I hadn’t gone to any porno sites. Why was this happening? My computer was moving like a snail and these pictures and videos were invading it.
I spent half of the day trying to clean up my computer. I ended up having to take it to Best Buy to see if they could fix it. It was yet another day that I’d gotten distracted from writing. I was so irritated. Maybe I should have gone to church with Cam, because every evil force in the world was coming at me. I called him just to touch base and blame him for losing an entire weekend of writing.
Sometimes I think it’s better not to date when you have things to accomplish. If I hadn’t been smiling in his face, I could have gotten a lot of work done. He probably could hear the frustration in my voice. He said, “OK, I’m not going to bother you. Let me know if you need me to take you to get your car in the morning.”
“OK.”
I knew that I was blaming him for my own irresponsibility and he picked up on it. He immediately got off the phone. I wanted to call back and apologize but I figured I would just let it go and began reading up on the first phases of love and/or lust. This way, in addition to what I was feeling, I’d have some fresh information to share with my listeners. That was the least I could do.
I was in the bed with my reading glasses and sweatpants on, with no makeup, when the doorbell rang. I jumped. Who could that be?