by Dow, Candice
Mandy said, “I thought they said sexual harassment.”
From person to person, everyone had a different story. Cam couldn’t have been stupid enough to have sex with her. All kinds of things began to run through my head. What if she had set him up to have sex with someone else? I’d been too tired to have sex and it wasn’t far-fetched to believe he’d take a piece if it were thrown at him. My neck was stiff and I felt like I could faint. As I sat there watching our baby shower guests run out of the house like roaches, I wished I could disappear. Everyone came over and offered their sympathy and told me they were there if I needed them. I appreciated that. No one really knew all the details of what we had gone through with her, but they were sure that Cam and I were good people who didn’t deserve this.
I’d never seen a house clear out so fast. Caron came upstairs unsure of why his company had left. I told him the party was over. He said, “But we haven’t even opened the gifts yet.”
“We’ll open the gifts tomorrow,” Aaliyah told him.
I started backtracking in my mind, wondering what could have happened. My mind quickly went to the previous Friday when I couldn’t get in contact with Cam. My stomach began to turn. Where had he been that night? Whom had he been with? I prayed that he hadn’t done anything stupid. What if this wasn’t about Yasmin?
Ms. Mae called Caron over to her and asked, “Did you tell your mother we were having a baby shower today?”
“Yeah.”
We all looked at one another, almost sure that it had been her doing. There were so many unanswered questions. Aaliyah gave me Cam’s cell phone and I called Morris. He didn’t answer. I held the phone tightly, hoping to send vibes to Morris to call me and let me know what was going on. We sat there hoping to hear something soon. Hours passed before Morris called.
“Hey, Ayana, he hasn’t seen the commissioner yet. But here’s the deal. Cam told Yasmin that he would hurt her if she kept harassing you. She told the police that he said he’d kill her. Since there was already a protection order in place, they take that charge very serious. They have to issue a warrant to make the police department look like they’ve done their job should Cam actually hurt Yasmin…for argument’s sake, of course.”
“I know. I know. But it’s still not right. She is lying.”
“And as a precaution, they are going to try to set his bail really high, because they don’t want anything to happen to her, but I’ll be there to defend him and more than likely they will lower it, but there will be a bail. I need you to call my man Keith. He’s a bail bondsman. Though Cam will have to wait to see the commissioner, we still want to get Keith on board.”
“How long will he be there?”
“It’s likely he’ll be here until Monday.”
“Monday!” I shouted.
I felt dizzy. Did they realize that I was eight months pregnant and I couldn’t take the stress?
“Unfortunately, Ayana. The weekend is the absolute worst time to get arrested.”
My father out of nowhere came and put his arm around my shoulder. “It’s OK, baby. It will be OK,” he said.
I felt as if I hadn’t seen him for the entire shower. I looked at him, wondering if he knew the whole story, but the look in his eyes confirmed it. My dad wanted us to have stress-free lives and he had done everything he could while we were growing up to make sure we were drama-free. He looked troubled that he was unable to make this right.
When I got off the phone, I told my family that it would be Monday before everything was resolved. I suggested they go home and I would keep them posted. My mother offered to stay. I knew Aaliyah had to go. She’d been away from her home for two days. The caterers offered to package some of the food up and store it in my freezer. We agreed since we’d already paid for it. Cori and Mandy took the decorations down and began popping balloons. I hoped the photographer had been able to get some good shots before he was unofficially forced out with everyone else.
It was after nine before the house was back to normal and the caterer had packed up everything. When Mandy, my dad, and Aaliyah and her kids left, I was feeling a little better. I was there with Cam’s mom and mine and they were extremely comforting. They made me feel that it would be OK. Each of them shared stories about how things hadn’t always been perfect in their marriages. My mother summed it up, saying, “There will always be bitter women in the world who want to spread their evil.”
I agreed, but at the same time that really didn’t make my situation better. I needed to know how to stop this bitter woman from haunting me. My mother suggested we open the gifts to take our minds off of what had happened. We moved into the living room, where the presents covered half of the twenty-by-twenty area. Cam and I had received some really nice gifts. In addition to most of the things on our registry, we got thoughtful keepsakes, like an engraved platinum comb and brush set and a silver football piggy bank. We got tons of clothes. My mother’s hand cramped as she attempted to write down the names of the guests and their gifts. I was laughing and talking about the baby and I felt better. That is, until I took the wrapping off a box with no card. The box was filled with white foam balls. I reached in and felt what I assumed to be crumpled newspaper. I pulled out a torched dollhouse cradle with a miniature doll baby inside. A sticky note was attached to the cradle with the following message: ROCK-A-BYE BABY. I tossed the crispy thing across the room. Ms. Mae asked, “What was that, sweetie?”
My sadness turned to anger. I was pissed. What type of person would do that? I looked at my mother and said, “Did you see who brought that gift here?”
She shook her head. “There were so many people here, Ayana, I don’t know who brought what.”
I took a deep breath and lay my head back on the couch. I was irritated. I wanted to go put a bullet in this chick myself. I wouldn’t be surprised if Cam had actually threatened to kill her. She had relaunched with a vengeance. I had tried to psychoanalyze this woman but she was so inconsistent and I was too emotionally involved to make sense of her. Her motive seemed to change every week.
Ayana
I woke up in the middle of the night wondering if I should have called the cops about the gift. Maybe they could dust it for fingerprints. I sat up in bed and looked around the room. I felt lonely. I wanted to talk to Cam. Where was he? What was he sleeping on? What was he thinking?
I wanted to talk to him so bad. I wanted us to revisit moving out of state. I’d had a few interviews for a television show that would send us to New York. That would mean he’d have to abandon some of the projects he was working on in Atlanta and I didn’t get the impression that he really wanted to move. Plus, he liked being the breadwinner and I thought he’d feel some kind of way if I were in that role, even temporarily until he could launch his business. But he had enough contacts in the entertainment industry to get up and going in New York in no time. Our peace was worth it.
I tried to force myself back to sleep but I just couldn’t do it, especially knowing that Cam was in jail. I wanted him in bed with me to hold me and to make this situation seem worth it. Without him there, all I could think was why I was even in this relationship. I stared at an oversize picture of us on the wall, hoping that would make me feel closer to him. We’d taken that picture right after our nuptials. The sun was shining and we were so happy. My entire body ached and I wanted the pain to go away. I started to cry. Speaking to the empty room, I shouted, “Cameron. Why? Cam, I don’t understand. Somebody help my husband. Anybody.”
I wasn’t stronger than these forces against me. When I met Cam, I’d imagined this would end at some point, and though there had been some lows during which nothing occurred, all in all, it had lasted too long and caused too much damage. My bedroom door opened and I jumped.
“Ma?” I called out.
“Ayana,” Caron said.
He walked in and looked slightly concerned, but more confused.
Quickly wiping my tears, I said, “Yes.”
“Are you OK?”
> “Yeah, I’m good.”
“But you were crying and calling Dad’s name.”
I didn’t say whether that was true or not. I just looked at him. “I thought he was hurting you.”
“Why would you think he would hurt me?”
“He hurt my mommy.”
“Yes, honey, he hurt your mommy emotionally, but he’s never hit her.”
“He did the last time I was at my mother’s house.”
My heart plunged and crashed into my belly. The baby jumped instantly and began to kick erratically, as if he were begging for us to get out of this situation. I wanted to know all the details, but then again I wasn’t sure if I should allow a nine-year-old to give me the information. What if his facts were sketchy? I was unsure what to think, especially since Caron often refused to talk to me. Most times he treated me as if I weren’t there. I didn’t know if this was something his mother had put him up to or not.
“Caron, don’t tell anyone else about that, OK,” I said.
“But he did and I had to help her.”
“OK.”
“Did Dad come back yet?”
“No, he’s not back.”
“When is he coming back?”
“I’m not sure, but he’ll be back. Go back to sleep.”
He left the room and I curled up with my body pillow. I cried until the sun peeped in through the windows. My eyes were swollen shut and that was the only reason I was able to close them. I slowly drifted off to sleep.
Monday morning took an eternity to arrive. I dropped Caron off at school and met Morris at the jail so we could get Cam out. I sat outside in the parking lot as Morris had instructed. He’d told me that Cam would come out when they released him and Morris would show him exactly where I was parked. I reclined my chair and relaxed in the parking lot. An hour or so passed and Cam knocked on the driver’s-side window. I was so happy to see him, I leaped out of the car and hugged him. He held me tightly, or as tightly as he could with the watermelon separating us.
I hadn’t expected to cry, considering I had been crying for two days, but I couldn’t stop the tears from falling down my face. It felt good knowing he was OK. I’d had nightmares that he’d been abused or hurt in there. I touched his face and chest, making sure he hadn’t been harmed. I said, “I missed you so much.” I kissed him again. “I was so scared.”
“Why?”
“I didn’t think you deserved to be in there.”
“Yeah, but they have to do that. It’s the system.”
I hopped in the passenger’s side and said, “Why hasn’t she been arrested yet?”
“We have to prove she’s doing these things. The sad part about it is that you can’t arrest a stalker unless you can prove they are actually doing what we think they are doing.”
I snapped, “Why do we have to prove that ourselves? Isn’t that what the police are for?”
“Yeah, that’s the crazy part about it. Even with her saying that I said I would kill her, they really can’t do anything to me. The system is messed up.”
I took a deep breath. This was just ugly. Cam had to deal with an unfair arrest and we couldn’t get that lunatic arrested even if we wanted to. I couldn’t believe she was literally the devil.
Cam said, “But it’s all good. Morris got me.”
I figured it was too early to bring up moving so I let that pass. He said, “And guess what? We go to court on June sixteenth.”
“That’s my due date.”
“I know.”
“I asked Morris to see if we can get it postponed.”
“Does he think he’ll be able to get a postponement?”
“He’s going to try. That’s all he told me. Where’s Caron?”
“He’s in school.” I paused. I wasn’t sure if I should bring this up, but I did. “He told me something disturbing. He said you hurt his mother the last time he spent the weekend over there.”
He looked at me without an inkling of a smile. “What if I did?”
I completely understood his anger but it didn’t make sense to hurt her and mess up our lives. “Did you really threaten to kill her?”
“I told her to stop playing with my life.”
Anger trembled in his voice. He didn’t waver or hesitate in his statement. His eyes pierced through me, demanding that I understand him. I said, “Baby, even after all she’s taken us through, I don’t want to see her hurt.”
“Why?” he snapped. “After she basically tried to kill you. The legal system ain’t going to help us. I may have to take this into my own hands.”
“And miss out on your children’s lives. You don’t want to do that.”
“That’s the only reason I haven’t done anything yet. I’m so sick of her crazy ass.”
“Have you given any consideration to New York?”
“Not at all.”
I knew that he wasn’t sold on New York and I knew this wasn’t the right time to talk about it. He had spent the weekend in a jail cell with a bunch of angry men and was fired up. I figured I should probably wait until he simmered down before broaching that topic.
When we got home, Cam went in to talk to his mother. She said, “Are you OK, baby?”
He said, “I’m cool, Mom.”
“I love you, Son.”
“I know. I love you too.”
“Sometimes you need to make sacrifices and I think you need to give up the battle for Caron. Let him go back with his mama and stay as far away from that woman as you possibly can.”
“Listen, I’m not going to have my seed in the same town and don’t deal with him.”
Ms. Mae shook her head. “That is the best thing for everyone involved. At least until it all calms down.”
“Ma, I’m not that dude. I’m not going to do that to my son.”
She said, “See, you New Age men put up with more than the men in my day. They would act like she don’t exist.”
“Ma, you’re talking crazy.”
She curled her lips. “If you want to continue dealing with this, keep on fighting that girl for custody. Give the boy back and let that girl be.”
His eyebrows wrinkled. “Ma, it’s not about Caron. She wants me back.”
I stood there speechless at Ms. Mae’s suggestion that Cam give up his firstborn. Even I didn’t think that was a good idea. I could tell that Cam was irritated by her suggestion, but maybe she was right. It seems that women give a harder time to men who are trying to do the right thing, as opposed to if he would just leave her and Caron alone. I didn’t love the whole stepmother thing but I was dealing with it just fine.
Yasmin
For the past few weeks I had been letting Tayshawn drop off and pick up Caron. It was burning Cam up from what I was told, but I was honestly scared of him. I really didn’t know what to expect. He had been acting really flaky. I had the feeling there was trouble in paradise, because he seemed to always be enraged for no reason. He probably realized that Ms. Ayana wasn’t all she was cracked up to be. She was expected to have that baby any day now. When I first heard she was pregnant, I cried because that meant we were likely done forever. But then I realized that people always love their firstborn more than anything in the world.
As I dressed for court, I wondered why it had gotten to this point. Cam and I had been fine until he decided to go fall in love with the wrong person. Although we weren’t a couple, we were cordial and this chick had ruined it all. I hoped she wouldn’t be in court so I could get him alone and talk to him. He was a stranger to me, definitely not the same person I married. The way he talked, the way he acted…everything about him was different. If he were as happy as he claimed to be, he wouldn’t look so miserable each time I saw him.
When I showed up to court, I looked around and Cam wasn’t there. I wondered where he was and why he hadn’t shown. Finally, he arrived looking like he hadn’t slept since the last time I saw him. He just didn’t look right. We had court orders to stay away from each other, but I needed to talk
to him. I needed to get to the bottom of what was going on with him.
When our case was called, Cam’s friend Morris stepped up as his attorney. The judge said the case had been dismissed because the charges were dropped. He looked up at me. “Ms. Small, is that correct, you want to drop the charges?”
“Yes, Your Honor.”
Both Cam and his attorney looked at me suspiciously. The judge went on to say, “I hope that you are not in an abusive relationship and dropping the charges because you two have made up. I can’t protect you if the situation flips for the worst.”
“Your Honor, I am not in an abusive relationship. I have been divorced from this man for over a year. He has never put his hands on me. We had a misunderstanding and in that moment, I was afraid, but I do not fear for my life and I apologize for involving the legal system.”
The judge nodded as he if appreciated my apology. He said, “Thank you, Ms. Small. Case dismissed.”
On the way out of the courtroom, I looked at Cam and I knew I had touched a soft spot with him. He gave me a nod, as if he was proud. The same way he used to do when we were young and in love. I mouthed, “I’m sorry.”
He raised his thumb at me and I smiled. For the sake of Caron, I wanted us to start communicating again. I took responsibility for ruining the relationship and I didn’t know how I was going to repair it but I was. It was all over the blogs how he was arrested at their baby shower. I’d never wanted it to go down that way. In fact, I’d never really expected they would arrest him at all.
Out in the hallway, he and Morris stood there talking and I kind of lingered around, hoping to speak with him. Morris stayed by his side the entire time and they ended up leaving the courthouse together. I was a little sad because I wanted to say something to him. I wanted to talk about how we would proceed and how we could fix our communication.