She sneered at me. “It’s not like I’m offending you. And if there was ever a time for me to get drunk, it’s now.”
Tears streamed down my face, but I shook with anger. “Damn it, Mom. You have to stop this. J.J.’s on his way over. You can talk to him. Convince him to change his mind.”
“That’s what I’m planning to do, Darcy.”
I took a deep breath. “He’s not going to take you seriously if you’re drunk.”
“I don’t need you lecturing me. You have no idea what I’m going through. Go upstairs, Darcy.”
“No.”
Her eyes widened. “No? Who do you think you are?”
“I’m Tri Ty’s daughter,” I said flatly. “And yours. And I’m not going anywhere.”
We stared at each other, not moving or speaking.
Toby broke the tension with a bark when the front doorbell rang. I felt Mom’s glare like an icy wind on my back as I went to answer the door.
J.J. looked startled to see me instead of Mom. “She’s in the kitchen,” I said. “Come on.”
He followed me, footsteps heavy on the tile. When we reached the kitchen the three of us stood like points on a triangle, watching each other warily.
J.J. spoke first. “You can’t hide out anymore, Marilyn,” he said. “If we don’t have Ty, we don’t have a product to sell. By disappearing, he’s completely ruined Harvest.” His face was haggard, but I saw no compassion in his eyes. “The eviction was a board decision. I can’t change it.”
“How can you do this, J.J.? Kick us out of our home?” Mom’s face showed only fear, no traces of her earlier anger.
J.J.’s frustration snapped at us with each word. “The company owns the house. It’s one of the only assets we own free and clear. The board is seizing it.”
Mom’s face crumpled. “But I thought it was our house. Mine and Ty’s.”
J.J. scowled. “It used to be. But Ty signed the house deed over to the business.”
“What?” Mom reached out for a chair to steady herself. She looked as fragile as a lost child, and all of my anger at her dissolved. I crossed the kitchen and wrapped an arm around her waist.
“Why would he do that?” Tears streamed down Mom’s face. “I don’t understand.”
J.J. looked at the floor as he spoke. “I told you about the bad investment decisions. Maybe he felt guilty about that.”
My anxiety swelled to enormous proportions. This didn’t make sense. The one thing Dad would never do was leave Mom and me without a roof over our heads. Didn’t J.J. know that?
Mom sank slowly into a chair. She pulled a crumpled tissue out of her pocket, wiped her eyes, then spoke again. “We need more time. This eviction notice doesn’t even give us a month to get moved.” Her voice was pleading. “J.J., at least give us more time.”
J.J. shook his head sadly. “Can’t do it, Marilyn.”
“He’s coming back,” Mom whispered. “He has a plan. He must. He wouldn’t let everything fall apart. Not after all these years. Harvest is his life.”
“Where is he, Marilyn?” J.J. pushed.
“I told you I don’t know. He never calls. He ignores his emails. I don’t have any way to reach him.” Her voice quivered.
“What about the postcards he was sending?” J.J.’s voice had turned cold.
Goose bumps prickled my skin. Mom had told J.J. about those?
I didn’t know how much I could believe J.J., but he and Mom needed to know what I’d discovered about the clonehenges. If there was a hope of finding Dad, if we could figure it out, maybe the board would change their mind, or at least give us more time. I had to say something.
“I might know where he is.” My voice echoed in the quiet kitchen.
“Darcy.” Mom’s voice held a warning.
J.J. took a step toward me. “If you know where he is, you have to tell me.”
This wasn’t the old J.J., the one I’d known forever. This J.J. was threatening, angry, and full of desperation. I wanted to back away from him, but I held my ground. “I’m not sure. But I think I might know what he’s doing.”
Mom closed her eyes and shook her head. “Don’t listen to her, J.J. She’s grasping at straws.”
“No I’m not.” I met J.J.’s hard stare. “I think he’s on a quest. He’s traveling the country looking at Stonehenge replicas.”
J.J.’s mouth opened in surprise. “He’s what?”
Mom had risen from the chair to open a bottle of wine while I spoke. She poured two glasses and handed one to J.J., who took a long drink.
“Darcy, have you talked to your dad?” J.J. asked. “Do you know for sure that’s what he’s doing?”
“No. You’re the only one he’s talking to. Isn’t he telling you what he’s doing? Where he’s going?”
J.J.’s eyes narrowed and his lips thinned. “No. He only lets me know he’s okay. I can’t get him to tell me anything else. He doesn’t even have his cell anymore, or doesn’t turn it on. He calls me from random places on the road.”
“But you’re his best friend,” I said, not quite believing him. “At least he’s calling you. Can’t you tell him what’s happening with the house? I know he’d come home if he knew.” My pitch rose as I fought back tears. “You must know something, J.J.”
He flinched like I’d hit a nerve, and a ripple of suspicion went through me. I darted a glance at Mom, wondering if she’d seen what I had, but she was refilling her damn wineglass.
I didn’t know what was going on with him, but J.J. was our only link to Dad. Maybe if I showed him my map, he’d tell us more. “I have his postcards. I’m plotting them on a map. Do you want to see it?”
J.J. looked at Mom, who shook her head again. I bit the inside of my lip in frustration. Why didn’t anyone believe me?
“I don’t know.” J.J. hesitated. “That sounds…desperate. Like you’re searching for a method to his madness.”
“He’s not crazy.” Even as I said it, fear tingled my scalp.
J.J. sighed. “I’ll look at your map, if it’ll make you happy.”
I frowned. “Don’t patronize me, J.J. Just forget it if you don’t believe me.”
He glanced at Mom, who said nothing as she drank more wine.
“Would it change things,” I asked, hating the way desperation weakened my voice, “if you could tell the board that we can find him? Could we keep our house?”
J.J. rubbed his forehead. “I don’t know, Darcy. It would take a miracle at this point.”
“Just look at it. Please.” I turned and headed for the staircase, willing them to follow me as readily as Toby did. I was almost to my bedroom door before I finally heard their steps on the stairs.
“Here goes nothing,” I whispered to Toby.
The map hung on the wall over my desk, covered in red stars and post-it notes. I’d traced a black dotted line showing his travels so far. The line made a loopy infinity symbol across the bottom right quadrant of the map, running south then east, then north, then west and dipping down south again.
J.J. and Mom stared at the map. He stepped closer to read my post-its, which listed the date of each card’s postmark He turned toward me. “Is there a Stonehenge route he’s following? Like in those ‘roadside attraction’ books? Why would he go to these places?”
I looked at my feet. That was the burning question, wasn’t it? And I couldn’t answer it.
“Darcy?” Mom prompted me.
They didn’t believe me. When I looked up all I saw was pity for the poor deluded girl trying to find a clue in random patterns. I turned away from Mom’s doubt and J.J.’s condescension. “Forget it. You think it’s wishful thinking. Childish. Desperate.” Mom put a hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it off. “Just go,” I whispered. “Please. Just leave me alone.”
They left my bedroom quietly, but Toby stayed. I collapsed next to him on the floor and buried my face in his fur. Maybe they were right. Maybe I was despe
rate. Delusional. Following a fantasy.
Like Lucas said, eventually truth beat the crap out of denial.
I had to face the fact that Dad was gone.
Chapter Fourteen
October 28
“We have to move,” I told Sal over cold French fries in the cafeteria. “I’ve been trying to think of a way around it, but I’m stumped. I don’t know where we’ll go. Or what we’ll do with all our stuff.”
Sal blinked worried eyes at me. “What about those big storage lockers? You could rent a few of those.”
I shook my head. “Those cost money. Lots of money.”
“Oh.” She dipped a French fry in ketchup, then left it on the plate. “Maybe you could have a sale?”
“A garage sale? Sell Mom’s antiques for pennies on the dollar?”
“No,” said Sal, “a what-do-you-call-them. An estate sale.”
Wait… That was actually a good idea. I’d seen those signs in our neighborhood, like a rich person’s alternative to a garage sale. We had expensive stuff. Maybe if we could get some decent money for it, that would tide us over until Mom could get a better job and get out of Fake-Bake Pam’s clutches. I whipped out my phone and texted Charlie. “R U around today? 4:00?” I was due at Liz’s at four thirty.
His reply pinged within seconds. “Of course. C U then.”
Sal watched me closely. “Who was that?”
“My uncle. He’ll know the names of estate sale companies.”
Sal raised her eyebrows. “Do you think your mom is willing to part with all her stuff?”
I hugged myself, feeling suddenly chilled even though I wore a bulky sweater and jeans.
“She doesn’t have much choice. We can’t afford to store it. And we have to move by the end of the month.”
Sal shook her head. “You continue to amaze me, girlfriend. Darcy to the rescue.”
I frowned at her. “Somebody has to. Dad’s gone. Mom’s a wreck.” I shrugged and tried to smile.
She sighed. “Too bad there’s nobody around to rescue you. Somebody with a big heart and a hot body.”
“Please.” I rolled my eyes. “That only happens in romance books, or movies.”
“Speaking of…” She waggled her eyebrows. “What about that Lucas guy? You haven’t mentioned him lately.”
I snorted. “Where do I start? One: he is totally out of my league. Seriously, you have to meet him sometime and then you’ll see what I mean. Besides, I told you, we’re just friends. We spend most of our time joking around with each other.” I paused to steal one of her fries, ignoring her doubtful look.
“Two,” I continued, “he has a girlfriend who looks like a supermodel. Three: I have way too much stuff going on in my life to even think about getting involved with anyone.”
“Joking around, huh?” A tiny smile curved her purple-glossed lips. “In the movies, friendship leads to romance all the time.”
I snorted. “My life is not that kind of movie.” I stole another fry and pointed it at her. “Trust me. It’s better this way. I’ve gotten used to just hanging out with him. He makes me laugh. And sometimes when I’m with him, I even forget about everything else that’s going on.”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “I rest my case.”
“Sal, you aren’t listening to me.”
“Au contraire, my friend. I am listening to your voice and watching your face. And getting two very different messages.”
I shoved away the plate in frustration. “Salena. Listen to me. When I’m working at Liz’s, or hanging out with my uncle and Lucas, it just…just feels better. I can be myself with them. They know all about the Tri Shit Storm and don’t judge me. Or mock me. Or ask prying questions.”
She looked hurt. “Are you saying that I’m prying? That you don’t feel like yourself with me?”
“No, damn it. But you and Mark are the only people at Woodbridge who don’t see me as Loser Repo Girl. I feel like I’m suffocating here. I’m surrounded by people who have no clue what it’s like for me and my mom right now. Everyone is just going about life as usual. Pretty soon they’ll be going skiing every weekend. Hooking up and partying all the time.”
How could I make her understand how different I felt from everyone else? And how normal I felt when I was with Liz and Charlie. And Lucas.
I sighed. Sal probably did see through me when I talked about him; I couldn’t deny the way I felt around him. But all I’d told her was true. Just friends. Goddess girlfriend. Life a disaster zone. I pushed away the memory of the night he’d driven me home. I’d thought I’d felt a spark flicker between us then, but it had to be wishful thinking on my part.
“Look,” I said with an apologetic sigh. “I don’t mean to bite your head off. I need to take Toby for a run, so I can burn off some stress. Trying to figure out what to do is making me nuts.”
She nodded, as subdued as I’d ever seen her. “Just remember I’m always here, right? To talk. Or, you know, take a break and just hang out.” She winked. “Or check out hot guys on Tumblr.”
I shook my head, smiling. “I miss you, too, DQ.” I stood up. “Thanks for the suggestion about the sale. It’s a really good idea.”
She gave me a sad, halfhearted wave as I walked away. I felt unsettled, too. Sal was my only friend left at Woodbridge. I didn’t want to lose her, but all I could think about was the next problem, and the next, and hope that someday things would be normal again. Not like they used to be, but a different type of normal, one where there’d be time for Sal and hanging out. I just hoped she’d still be there for me when that day finally came.
I called Mom during a free period, shivering on the empty soccer field because I didn’t want anyone to overhear my conversation.
“Mom, I’ve got an idea. A way for us to get money.”
“Money? What are you talking about?”
Her voice sounded slurred. God. It was only one forty-five. On a Tuesday. Working for Pam was a crap job but it wouldn’t last if she kept drinking during the day.
I pushed that worry away and concentrated on the one I could do something about. “We could sell our stuff at an estate sale. Most of it anyway. I bet we’d make a lot of cash.”
Silence.
“Mom?”
Her sigh was long and shaky. “I don’t know, Darcy. That sounds…overwhelming.”
I paced along the edge of the field. “I know, but I’m going to talk to Charlie about it today. Get some names from him. Will you at least think about it?”
She sighed again. “I guess so. But even if we do it, I’m not going to have time to deal with it.”
So it was going to be my problem? How would I pull off an estate sale by myself?
“Mom, I don’t think I can do it alone.” I hesitated. “Will you be home tonight? After I get off work I’ll make dinner. We can talk about it.”
“You don’t have to cook.”
“I know.” But if I didn’t, who would? Besides, I was getting better at it. I’d found an old cookbook in Charlie’s store that didn’t require twenty ingredients for every recipe. I wasn’t a gourmet chef like my mom, but the stuff I made was edible. Usually.
“I’m not sure how late I’ll be working.” Her voice was distant. “And I might just go to bed when I get home.”
I held my breath, anxiety overtaking me again. Exhale. “Okay. Can you call me though? Let me know when you’re home.”
“I’ll try to remember.”
How hard was it to remember to call your own daughter? And who was the mom, anyway?
I knew the answer to that, even if it made me sad and anxious. But if I had to be the parent, then okay. I was going to make this happen, because I had no other choice.
Charlie grinned as he looked up from behind the counter. “So what’s the emergency? Donut deficiency?” He lifted the lid of his donut case and handed me my favorite. He never ran out of pink frosting and sprinkles.
I took a huge b
ite, then plunked onto a swiveling stool and dropped my messenger bag to the floor. “I wish that’s all I needed.” I brushed crumbs off my shirt. “Mom and I have to move. By the end of the month.”
Charlie’s grin faded. “Oh God, Darcy.” His eyes filled with sympathy and sadness. “Oh, sweetheart, it’s just too much. It’s not fair.”
I frowned. “Honestly, Charlie, I can’t get distracted feeling sorry for myself.” It was true. I’d thought about it on the bus ride. We needed money desperately. I had to do what I could to get Mom to face reality somehow. You can’t control the storms that tear through your crop, Dad said. But it’s up to you what you do after the storm moves on. You can give up, or clean up.
“I need names of estate sale companies. People you know, honest people who won’t screw us over.” Charlie regarded me soberly and I continued, “And we’ve got to find an apartment, too. Somewhere cheap, but not too scary.”
“I might know of a few places.” Lucas startled me as he emerged from the curtains hiding his fix-it area.
My hormones did a happy dance at the sound of his voice. I was glad Sal wasn’t there to say “I told you so.”
“We can’t afford too much.” I dropped my eyes, embarrassed, then remembered who I was talking to. Lucas was hardly a rich kid. He would understand. His gaze fixed steadily on mine as he waited for me to speak.
“Depending on how much we make on the estate sale, I’m guessing we can afford about six or seven hundred a month. We need two bedrooms. And somewhere that takes dogs.”
“Duh. Of course you need to bring Toby.” His mouth quirked up, but I thought I saw a trace of pity in his eyes, and my jaw tightened.
“If you know of some places, that’d be great,” I said a little stiffly. “We don’t have much time.”
The two of them stared at me without speaking. I looked from Charlie to Lucas, bothered by their silence. “What is it?” I asked. “You both still speak English, don’t you?” I tried to joke, but I needed to keep my momentum, just like when I ran. I slid off the stool and headed toward the furniture section. “We’re probably going to need a small kitchen table. No way can we take our gigantic one to a small apartment.”
How (Not) to Fall in Love Page 11