Lindsey sat upright and fell into her mom’s shoulder, the tears coming unashamedly.
“He said he was going to call. But he’s been gone for over two weeks now. He hasn’t called once. Do you think they killed him, Mom? Do you think he’s dead? Do you think we’ll ever see him or Beth again?”
“Shhhh… look at me.”
Sarah took her by the shoulders and held her at arm’s length.
“No. Don’t look down, honey. Lift up your chin and look at me. I want to make sure you understand every word I’m saying.”
They locked eyes.
“Honey, you know your father. If he said he’s going to do something, he’ll do it. But you also know that ham radios are few and far between. The only people who have them are preppers who had the foresight to protect them. And those types of people tend to keep a low profile. He might go for days or even weeks without coming across one. And even when he does, there’s no guarantee they’ll let him use their radio.
“I wouldn’t, if I were them. Because in order for him to use their radio they’d have to let him into their compound, or bunker, or wherever their radio was.
“Your father is a wonderful man, Lindsey. I love him with all my heart. You know that. But he can be a scary looking dude when he hasn’t shaved or had a haircut in awhile. He smells like a bear when he hasn’t showered in more than a day. He farts and has stinky feet.
“In short, your father can look and smell like Bigfoot. Would you let him into your compound to use the radio if you were a prepper and didn’t know him?”
Sarah’s words had the desired effect.
Lindsey smiled.
Her face was still soaked in tears, but she felt a bit better.
“No. Maybe not.”
“And you also know your father well enough to know he can develop tunnel vision when he’s working on something important.
“Right now his sights are focused like a laser on finding Beth. That’s his number one priority, and the thing that will guide everything he does. You and I, as much as he loves us, will take a back seat until he has some spare time and gets around to us.
“That may sound harsh and a bit cold, but that’s the way it has to be. Beth needs him more than we do now, because he knows we’re safe.
“At some point he’ll have some free time, and then he’ll look for a ham radio. And he’ll use his charm to try to convince them to let him use it.
“Then he’ll contact us. Until then, though, we have to remain strong. For each other.”
“That’s easy for you to say, Mom. You’re the strongest person I know. Even stronger than Dad. You’ve always been the rock of the family. Even Dad’s told me that.”
“Has he really?”
“Yes. But he said if I ever told you he’d deny it.”
“Honey, you wouldn’t think I was such a rock if you knew I cried myself to sleep every night. I worry about Beth. I worry about your father. I worry about us and how we’ll survive if we never see either of them again.”
“You too? You’ve considered that possibility too?”
“Of course I have. I’d have to have my head buried deeply in the sand to not think about it.”
“I’m going to ask you something very silly, Mom. Don’t be afraid to tell me I’m an idiot.”
“I would never tell you that, honey. Even if you were. Which you’re not, by the way. What did you want to ask?”
“Like you said, the nights are particularly hard. Some nights I lay here for hours trying to fall asleep, but I just can’t get them out of my mind. I’ve been tempted several times to just come over to your cubicle and crawl into bed with you. But I didn’t know how you’d feel about it.”
“Oh, honey, I wish I’d known. Of course you can come over and join me. You always did that, whenever you had a bad dream or you weren’t feeling well. Do you remember that time when you crawled into bed with your father and I and he asked if you were okay…”
Lindsey finished her sentence for her.
“… and I threw up all over him and he caught his breath and said, ‘Well, I guess not.’”
The two of them shared a much-needed laugh.
“I know I used to all the time, Mom. But not since I was seven. I’m sixteen now, and almost grown up. I don’t want you to get the idea I’m still a baby or something.”
“Oh, honey… you’ll always be my baby, no matter how old you get.”
She held her daughter close.
“From now on, any time you can’t sleep for any reason, you come and crawl into bed with me. If that doesn’t comfort you enough to help you sleep, we’ll just talk long into the night.”
“Until we bore each other to sleep?”
“Exactly.”
“Oh, and Lindsey?”
“Yes, ma’am?”
“If you throw up on me like you did your father, I’ll kick your butt. I don’t play.”
Chapter 19
It was mere coincidence that at the exact moment Lindsey and Sarah were discussing ham radios, Tony told Dave he had one.
Or maybe it was a higher power intervening in a difficult situation.
And it didn’t really matter. For Dave couldn’t have been happier if God himself appeared from the heavens and placed a brand spanking new ham radio unit at Dave’s feet.
“You’re kidding!”
“Why would I kid about something like that?”
“Good point. But where did you get a ham radio?”
“Duh. From the same guy I got the Polaris from. He’s a big time prepper. He traded me the radio for two eight balls.”
“Two eight balls? As in pool balls?”
“No, dummy. Two eight balls of meth. An eight ball is an eighth of an ounce. Three and a half grams.”
“It’s probably a good thing I didn’t know that.”
“You’re such an innocent, Dave. Being seen with you is probably bad for my reputation.”
“Funny. I thought the opposite was true.”
“Hardly.”
“So, why did you need a ham radio?”
“I thought I might be able to communicate with some… friends… I know in Georgia. But they apparently don’t have a radio. I spoke to one guy that was about a hundred miles from them, but that was the closest hit I got. And he said he wouldn’t get a message to them for any amount of money in the world.”
“Wanna sell it?”
Tony looked at him as though he’d suddenly grown another head.
And Dave realized what a stupid question he’d just asked.
He wished he could take back his words, but it was too late. He now had to listen to Tony give him a royal rash.
“What in hell are you going to do with a ham radio, Dave? You live in an abandoned truck, for cryin’ out loud. Everything you have in the world is in a damn backpack.
“Are you gonna tell your underwear and extra socks to move over and make room, so you can stuff a ham radio into your backpack as well?
“And who are you gonna talk to anyway? You said the only person you have left is your daughter, and you don’t even know where in hell she is. And I doubt she’s carrying her own ham radio around with her in her back pocket.”
Tony suddenly brought his diatribe to a screeching halt.
He’d meant to be funny. He’d meant to give his new friend a hard time for asking a stupid question.
But he’d gone way too far. His words weren’t funny, they were hurtful.
And they were unnecessary. All they did was to remind Dave what a dire predicament he was in. That his young daughter was out there, somewhere, in the custody of brutal slave-owners, being made to do God-only knew what to survive each miserable day.
“I’m sorry, Dave.”
The apology was simple yet sincere.
Dave accepted it without comment, merely nodding his head.
The truth was, not a waking hour went by that he wondered what little Beth was doing at that very moment.
And he fough
t constantly with a very dark and very evil part of his mind, which was constantly telling him he was a fool. That Beth was dead, and he’d never find her tiny body. Never be able to cry over her. Never know what happened to her and why.
Tony tried to make amends.
“Look… Dave. Why don’t you come back with me to my place? I have plenty of room. You can stay with me while we finish our sweep of Albuquerque. And yes, you can use my ham radio. You cannot buy it, no. I still have plans to use it again at a later date. To try again to find someone in Georgia close enough to my friends to get a message to them.
“And you couldn’t use it anyway without an antenna and a generator. And you couldn’t fit an antenna and generator in your backpack no matter how much your socks and underwear gave way.”
This time his humor was kinder and gentler.
And this time it worked.
Dave smiled and said, “I guess it was a stupid question, wasn’t it?”
“Damn straight, partner.”
Chapter 20
On the long journey from Albuquerque to Tony’s place in the suburbs, Dave came clean to his friend about his family’s situation.
There were some things he kept to himself, though.
Like the operable Ford Explorer he had parked not far away.
“I’ll tell you what,” Tony offered. “When we get to my place I’ll put you up in the guest room. And I’ll show you where the ham radio is. While I’m cooking us up some supper you can move the radio to your own room and call your family.”
Tony almost broke down and confessed about his own family, and how he wondered every day whether they were alive or dead.
But once again he chose to keep it to himself.
He did admit to one thing, though.
“I have to say, Dave, I’m impressed.”
“About what?”
“I was already impressed that you struck out from Kansas and came all the way to Albuquerque to find your daughter. That took a lot of dedication and a shitload of guts.
“But now you tell me that Kansas wasn’t where you started out. That you had already walked all the way from Texas to get there. I gotta say, you’re either the craziest son of a bitch who ever walked the earth, or the most dedicated father ever.”
“I don’t know about that, Tony. I’d crawl through the fires of hell to save one of my children. I think any father would.”
Tony fell silent and looked away.
The sun was getting low in the sky now. Darkness was almost upon them.
Tony used that to his advantage, to help hide the tears in his eyes. And he used the breeze, rushing into his face as he steered the Polaris down the street at fifteen miles an hour, to help dry them.
Finally, thankfully, the conversation came to an end when Tony turned into the driveway of a modest two-story home half a mile outside the Albuquerque city limits.
Dave wasn’t sure what he was expecting, exactly. Maybe a crack house, with dope fiends hanging around, anxiously awaiting their master of moods and purveyor of poisons.
That’s how he’d always pictured the way drug dealers must live.
He knew very little about the game. Basically what he’d seen on Cops and other shows like it.
He knew there was a lot of money in the drug game. And that dealers usually got rich.
But he also knew there was a lot of risk involved as well. That regardless of how careful they were, how untouchable they claimed to be, they were always caught eventually.
And then they went to prison and lost everything.
Dave believed the smart ones read the writing on the wall. That they served their time and got out of the business and tried another means of making a living.
But Dave really was a babe in the woods when it came to the drug culture. An “innocent,” as Tony had laughingly called him.
Dave didn’t understand the harsh realities of the game. That most drug dealers went that route because it was easy. And because their other options were extremely limited.
Dave didn’t know that most of them had no education, and no prospects to get one. Most didn’t even have fathers. And unless they wanted to flip hamburgers the rest of their lives, their only other options were to deal drugs or steal.
He also didn’t know that even the option of flipping burgers went away once a drug dealer was released from prison.
Not even fast food joints would hire a convicted felon.
That left essentially two options for a newly released convict, even if he had seen the writing on the wall… stealing or returning to the game.
For most dealers, therefore, it was a sadistic dance. In and out of the joint, on and off the streets. And when they were on the streets they were dealing.
Because that was all they knew and they had no prospects for doing anything else.
As they approached the house the sniper on the roof stood up and revealed himself. He waved at Tony, who waved back. A man who’d been hidden in the shrubbery walked out to greet his boss as well.
“This is Dave. He’ll be staying with me for a few days.”
Dave could tell from the shocked look on the man’s face that Tony didn’t bring home a lot of houseguests.
The man nodded but didn’t introduce himself. Tony didn’t introduce him either.
For Dave he’d just remain a nameless man who hid in the bushes to protect his friend and his property.
It didn’t exactly give Dave a warm fuzzy. But at least Tony knew the security risks of being in possession of large quantities of drugs and was taking measures to protect himself.
As they walked into the house, Dave observed, “So… I’m guessing you don’t bring strangers home very often to stay with you.”
“No. Occasionally a girl I want to spend time with. In fact, you’re the first guy I’ve ever brought home.”
Dave suddenly laughed.
“What? What’s so funny?”
“Maybe that’s why the guy in the bushes looked so shocked. Maybe he thinks you’re switching sides.”
Tony smiled.
“You think he thinks I’m gay? He knows me better than that. They all do.”
“Good,” Dave said. “Because I’m going on record here and now by saying you’re not my type. I don’t care how good you might cook.”
Chapter 21
“Jonas or Jacob, this is Sarah’s husband Dave. Come in if you read me.”
Jacob was sitting in front of the base station when the call came in. He didn’t recognize Dave’s voice, but then again he hadn’t spent a lot of time with him before he left.
Still, it had to be him. It could have been a coincidence that someone was calling Jonas or Jacob. There were probably a lot of Jonases and Jacobs in the world who were using ham radios.
But it was too much of a stretch to think those Jonases and Jacobs also knew a Sarah who happened to be married to a Dave.
He figured it was safe to answer.
“This is Jacob. Go ahead, Dave, but just a reminder. Don’t give any details as to either of our locations.”
“You got it, Jacob. How are things going there?”
“By how are things going you mean how are Sarah and Lindsey?”
“Yeah, well, that would have been my next question.”
“Things are good. They are good. I’m gonna put the microphone down so I can go get them.”
“Thank you, sir.”
“No problem. Be back in a flash.”
Dave looked around the guest room, and his eyes caught an eight by ten framed photograph on the bedside table.
A professional photo, taken at a sitting in one of the local portrait studios.
A portrait of happier times.
They were seated on the floor, the two of them. A slightly younger Tony and the knockout blonde at his side.
Between them two little boys wore their Sunday-best suits. They had their mother’s smile, their father’s facial features.
They looked incredibly happy, the four o
f them.
So, this wasn’t just some abandoned house Tony had claimed as his own.
Dave wondered about the family. What became of them. Whether they were alive or dead.
For a brief second, he thought he might ask Tony about them.
But no. He wouldn’t. Tony had already had plenty of opportunities to mention he had a family. He hadn’t done so. And that probably meant he didn’t have a family. Not anymore.
That made Dave sad. And he realized how lucky he was in that his family was all still alive.
As far as he knew.
His attention was called back to the radio when a familiar voice came sputtering through the speakers.
It was a voice as smooth and soothing as butter. A voice he’d said goodnight to thousands of times. A voice which brought a smile to his face.
“Dave, are you there?”
“Hi, honey. How are you?”
“Better, now. I’ve been missing you. Lindsey has too. We’ve been wrecks lately, hoping each new day would bring a renewed chance you’d call us. Do you have good news?”
“No, I haven’t found her yet. I’ve got some good leads I’m running down. And I know I’m getting close. But you’ll have to give me a little more time, I’m afraid.”
“I understand. And I don’t guess you can tell me where you are?”
“Not specifically, no. Not far from your Aunt Edna’s. Want me to stop by and say hello?”
“You wouldn’t get any response, Dave. Not since she died five years ago.”
“Well, even when she was alive she ignored me most of the time. She didn’t much like me, and I never figured out why.”
“Don’t feel bad, honey. She never really liked anybody. And thanks for the hint, by the way.”
“No problem. Don’t worry about the Beth thing, honey. I’ll find her if I have to spend the rest of my days looking. And I’ll bring her home to you. And she’ll be walking and talking and laughing just as she’s always done.”
“Dave, please don’t make promises you may not be able to keep.”
“Oh, but I have every intention of keeping that promise. She’s still alive. I know it. And I’ll bring her back, you see.”
On Desert Sands: Alone: Book 6 Page 6