Foolish Temptations

by Danielle Stewart

  “How do you do that?” He eyed her with a mix of affection and worry. “How do you just make yourself certain of anything the rest of the world writes off as crazy?”

  “Maybe I’ve read too many books.” She shrugged and made a move to step back, but his hand reached for her. Just a graze of his fingertips on her forearm. “I guess I like rooting for the underdog.”

  “And don’t you get disappointed? Sometimes the underdog falls short. Sometimes he’s not everything you’ve built him up to be.”

  “Yeah.” She gulped as she admitted it. “I’ve been wrong about people before.”

  Aden’s eyes flashed with pain.

  “But I’m not wrong about you. What I said to you that night in the cab, I was right.” Her heart thudded as it had the last time they were in this position. “You’re one of the good guys. That balance people look for everywhere. Brave and bold but smart enough to know you should listen more than you talk. Enough of a gentleman to hold the door but observant enough to see when I want to do something on my own. I don’t know where in your life you decided you were better on your own. I don’t know who convinced you of that, but I’d like a chance to argue that with them.”

  His breath was quick, his eyes roving over her face as though at any minute she might burst out laughing and take it all back. Something that clearly scared him. “I don’t know how to do this, Maribel. I don’t know how to be the man you deserve.”

  “You already are. You have to figure out how to see yourself the way I see you. When you do, maybe we’ll have more to talk about. But talking is exhausting.” She ran a hand through her hair and tipped her head back. “I don’t know how much more I can say before I burst. Before I . . .” She closed the gap between them and practically fell into his arms. When their lips collided with force and passion, she knew there was nothing else to say. Just something to do.

  Not wasting a second, she slipped her shirt over her head, barely letting him go as she did. Moans poured from her lips as she ground herself against his hard body. Pulling at his shirt, she ran her hand up his stomach to his rock-hard pecs until the shirt was cast aside, a distant memory.

  In that impressive one-handed way, Aden unsnapped her bra and without even a flash of self-consciousness she was free of it, their bare chests melding together with the heat of passion. If there was any hesitation at all in him it had been destroyed. His hands came up her ribs and took a handful of her breast, the warmth and pressure sent her back into an arch.

  When her hand reached for the button of his jeans she felt his lips pull away. Only a fraction, enough to stop them both in their tracks.

  “I don’t want to hurt you, Maribel,” he admitted as he pressed his forehead to hers.

  “Geesh, is it really that big?” Her lips parted into a smile. She knew what he meant. She knew it was his way of reminding her nothing was resolved. No promises were made. Tomorrow would come, and everything they’d hurled aside would come crashing back to them. “I want this. I’m not asking you for anything you can’t give. I just want tonight.” There was a space between lies and the truth. It was a thin spot. Hardly big enough to exist in but it was there. The place where the mind was willing to suspend reality long enough to let the heart believe what it needed to. In the light of day this might be a terrible idea. But right now in the dark, in each other’s arms, there was no tomorrow. There was no rising sun.

  He launched back into their kiss with a greater hunger as he spun her to the wall and pinned her with his body. Tearing at his pants, she wouldn’t let him back away this time. No hesitation.

  If she doubted his desire for her at all, that worry evaporated at the sight of his rock-hard state. Free of his pants, his firm shaft sprang toward her. The urgency, the frenzy was now pulsing in the room.

  This moment was the culmination of every laugh, every playful argument, and late night at work. It was the little skirts she wore to drive him crazy and the dirty little whispers they shared when no one else was listening. The fantasy, the saga they’d been navigating all this time was now upon them. Maribel shook as she unfastened her pants, his mouth devouring her neck ravenously.

  “Are you all right?” he asked, running a hand down her quivering arm. “Are you cold?”

  “I’m nervous.” She couldn’t muster much more of an answer than that.

  “Why?” He leaned back and watched her closely.

  “This is going to be really good. Like maybe the best I’ve ever had. I can tell already.”

  “That’s a good thing,” He ran a hand down her back and cupped her ass, pulling her against him. “Don’t be scared of enjoying it.”

  “I’m not.” She tipped her head back and curved her neck to take every lick and nibble he gave. “I realized just because it’ll be the best I ever had, doesn’t mean that it’ll be the same for you.”

  He pulled away again but this time with a big smile. “Maribel, I have never in my life been with a woman like you.”

  “Well, what does that mean?” She slapped a hand to his bare shoulder and grimaced.

  “For starters, foreplay is chit chat. That’s new for me.”

  She rolled her eyes.

  “But I can promise you, this is not like anything else I’ve ever had.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’ve been waiting for this since the first day we met. In my mind I’ve explored every inch of your body—a playground for my fantasies—and now here it is.” Aden’s hand roamed from her ass, up her chest, and then to her chin where he pulled her nervous gaze to his. “And I know your mind. I know your heart. That’s what’s different. That’s the best part.”

  He’d punched in the code and opened the temporarily locked door that was holding her back from completely giving in. She kicked out of the rest of her clothes and wrapped her arms around his neck. Sliding his hands under her ass, he parted her legs and lifted her.

  They’d waited long enough. There had been too many moments of accidently brushing by each other in a tight space. Too many times he took a deep breath of her perfume. The way she had nibbled on the end of her pen. The way he would lean back in his chair, toss his hands behind his head, and flex his biceps when he was thinking. It was the heat under a pot, a simmer that was suddenly becoming a rapid, unruly boil.

  Aden plunged inside of her, and she kicked her head back with the pleasure and pressure of his force. As though they’d crossed a finish line of an endless marathon, they froze, clutching each other. Close. Entangled. Connected. She never would have been brave enough to look him in the eyes if it weren’t for him staring straight into hers.

  “Aden,” she breathed out as she wound her hand up in his hair. Her mouth opened to say more, but his swift movement swallowed any chance of her being able to speak. They were on the bed in an instant, her legs up on his shoulders as he gazed down at her with awe and admiration.

  All her thoughts spun away, and pleasure was the only sensation she could cling to.

  Chapter 21

  Aden

  * * *

  She traced her finger over his heart and looked at him for the hundredth time. “Please wipe that terrified look off your face. I’m not planning our wedding. I meant what I said. It was just a moment. One night.”

  He smiled at her, but he knew better. This was not a fleeting moment to her, because it sure as hell wasn’t to him either.

  “Did you sleep at all?” he asked, clearing his throat.

  “A little. You?”

  “No. I was thinking through the files. Thinking about Elsie.” He pulled her in a little closer, desperate to keep the sun from rising and the day from starting. He knew it would only rip them apart eventually.

  “Have you ever been that sad?” She placed her ear to his chest and tapped her finger to the rhythm of his heartbeat.

  “Yes.” The answer was simple but cutting. “If Elsie did take her life, I can understand it. I never went out and bought a rope or anything, but I’ve been that kind of sad. Yo
u?”

  She rolled away and sighed. The cool air touched his side, and he felt instantly empty with her gone. “No. I can honestly say no matter what has happened to me I’ve always believed there would be better days ahead, and I want to be around to see them. I think that’s why I’m having such a hard time understating how a young girl makes such a startlingly final kind of decision.”

  “The gene you have that gives you hope and optimism isn’t universal. It’s actually unique as hell. It’s what makes you that rare kind of person everyone gravitates to. It’s why I . . .” He closed his eyes and scolded the shit out of himself for almost saying it.

  “What? What were you going to say?”

  “It doesn’t matter.” Aden shook his head and watched Maribel slide out of the bed. The silhouette of her body in the moonlight made him hungry for her again.

  “Don’t panic, Aden”—she laughed—“it was just a night.”

  “You know it might not be universal, but I thought for a little while your hopefulness might be contagious. Maybe it was something I might catch from being around you.”

  “But you haven’t?”

  “No. I’m still me.”

  “Still you, that awful man you are. I’m not going to hang out and listen to you try to convince me you’re garbage. You’re not.”

  “You told me when I had the right words I should say them. But it feels like maybe tonight the timing is wrong.”

  “The timing doesn’t matter, Aden. If you have something to say, it’s about time you say it. Whatever it is.” She pulled her hair into a ponytail and slid her shirt on.

  “I didn’t bolt that day because you told me how you felt. I took off because I felt the same way. And you, you’re everything. You’re the embodiment of perfection, and I can’t deal with that. It’s like this house, a dream house, with everything you ever wanted.”

  “Yeah, I can see how that would be a problem.”

  “But you know you’re going to burn it down. The best thing I can offer is never to step foot inside. I am a screw-up, Maribel. The man you think you fell for, that’s the guy in the suit in the office every day. Maybe that’s who I’m trying to be, but I’m not, not by a long shot. I’m the guy who left his prom date alone so he could go smoke weed on the football field. The same idiot who wouldn’t stand up and make a toast at his sister’s wedding because he was a selfish fool. I crashed my father’s car. I broke my mother’s heart over and over again. The only thing I do with any kind of reliability is let people down. My two choices with you, Maribel, are to disappoint you now by staying clear or hurt you later. I can’t bear the idea of hurting you.”

  “You don’t get to decide what I’m willing to risk to be with you.”

  “It’s not a risk, Maribel. It’s not a chance you’re taking. Me screwing this up, it’s a sure thing. Inevitable. You deserve so much better than the fuck-up who hasn’t burned you yet. You deserve to wake up every morning and know the person you’re with won’t screw it up.”

  “How are you so certain you will?”

  “Ask my family. Ask anyone who’s known me for years. I’m stubborn to a fault. If there is something good, I’ll ruin it eventually, and I’ve never had something as good as you. Maribel, the easiest thing in the world for me to do would be to pretend that wasn’t a reality. Sweep you up and turn the rest of this trip into a springboard for a relationship. It would feel so good. To hold your hand and get lost on those hills. I could sit out on a blanket with you and listen to you read some long old novel. I could kiss you whenever I wanted. And trust me that would be a lot of kisses.”

  “Why are you doing this, Aden?” Maribel sniffled and wiped at her eyes. “I know you. I know your heart. Think of every long conversation, every dream we’ve talked about. I know you are a great man who will do amazing things.”

  “That’s the problem, Maribel. You’re the first person who has ever believed that about me. And for a little while I thought maybe that was because I’d changed. But what I realized is your belief has nothing to do with me and everything to do with who you are. You are magic and hope and faith. I refuse to destroy that.”

  Maribel breathed a half laugh/half cry and slid her shoes onto her feet. “Maybe I am a hopeless romantic. Maybe my optimism is going to break my heart over and over. But I would rather have one moment of real unmistakable joy than a lifetime of playing it safe. I don’t know what you’ve done over the years, or what the people around you have convinced you that you were. What I do know is you’d better take a hard look at yourself, quiet all that noise, and figure out what kind of man you actually are. You parade around being brave and tough. I really believe you’d take a damn bullet for me.”

  “I would.”

  “You’d give your life for me, but you won’t give your heart to me?”

  “It’s not my heart I’m worried about. It’s yours.”

  She pursed her lips and nodded. “When this week is done, I’m going to give Hugo my notice. Maybe there’ll be another position in the company for me. But you and I can’t keep going on like this. I can’t go in and see you every morning knowing what I do now. It’ll kill me.”

  “I’ll leave.” He sat up quickly. “Don’t give your notice. I’ll give mine. I can go back to the bar.”

  “It’s all working out then, isn’t it? You’ve gotten exactly what you wanted. A self-fulfilling prophesy. Failure by design.” She opened the door and hesitated for a moment before stepping out. He could call out to her. He could still make this right. But a heartbeat later, still silent, she stormed out.

  Aden looked over to the table and saw the stack of papers piled up. This is what had led them here tonight. Elsie. Maribel’s question rang in his hear. Have you ever been that sad?

  Yes. Without a doubt. He knew that kind of sad.

  Chapter 22

  Sprinting down the hallway of the quiet hotel as the sun was rising made her look like a mad woman. Smeared mascara. Tear-soaked cheeks. It all added to the hot mess she was. But it didn’t matter. She’d never see these people again anyway. Let them stare. Let them judge her epic walk, no run, of shame.

  Air. She needed air and distance. She’d run straight to the airport if she had to. When she swung the side entrance door open, the rising sun made the fog look like shimmering gold, and she finally let herself fall apart. That shuttering, gulping kind of cry that couldn’t be held for fear of bursting.

  “Hey,” Kenan popped out of the door and tried to figure out exactly what he was looking at. “What happened?” He didn’t wait for an answer before pulling her into his arms. “Shh, it’s all right. Just tell me what happened.”

  “I’m so stupid.” She edged the words out between sobs. “I fell for it again. I told myself it was nothing, but it wasn’t. I walked right into the same stupid trap. I deserve what I’m feeling right now.”

  “No way.” Kenan pulled back and looked her square in the face. “You don’t deserve to feel like this. No one does. What did he do?”

  “Nothing I didn’t want.” She wiped at her eyes. “I’m no victim here. Don’t get that tough guy look in your eyes like you’re going to go defend my honor. I did this.”

  “You’re not out here crying because of something you did.” Kenan shook his head in disbelief. “He’s leading you on. He’s playing games with you. To take you back to his room and then . . .” His hands turned to fists and she touched them gently.

  “Please don’t. It’s not what I want. Aden isn’t a monster. That’s the problem. I love him.” A few huge tears rolled down her cheeks. “I love him, and he’s so sure he’s such a screw-up that all he’ll do is hurt me.”

  “I’d say he’s living up to that perception at this point.” Kenan’s jaw was set with anger.

  “He hasn’t led me on. He’s been upfront. He’s been very clear. Aden thinks he’s too damaged to have something that lasts, and he knows I want it to last.”

  “Then he’s a coward. Love is a risk. Life is a risk. You ei
ther take a chance or you don’t. If he’s too stupid to take a chance with a woman like you, he’s not worth the tears.”

  Maribel rested her head on his shoulder. On paper his words made perfect sense, but her heart was screaming something completely different. Aden was no coward. He didn’t run from a fight. He didn’t ever back down. The only thing keeping Aden from loving her back was his fear of hurting her. There was something admirable in it. Enough actually to make her dry her tears and stand on her own two feet.

  “What can I do to help?” Kenan, clearly a man who needed a cause, looked earnestly at her. “Just name it.”

  “I could use a drink later. Aden said there was a great pub on the edge of town. Could we go there?”

  “Sure.” Kenan smiled, happy to have a task. “I’ll come get you later. Are you going to be all right on your own for the day?”

  “Yeah, I have a few places I want to check out.” She pushed her hair out of her eyes and drew in a deep breath. “I’m sorry you had to see me like this.”

  “I’m sorry you had to feel like this. Come on, I’ll walk you back to your room.”

  Like a stand-up guy, Kenan escorted her upstairs in silence. After a shower and a quick change of clothes she felt slightly more stable. She had two days left in Ireland, and she wasn’t going to waste them thinking about all the things that would never be. Instead she’d follow the journals, the facts on the police report, and her heart. She’d spend the day walking in the footsteps of a girl who never got the life she should have. Maybe that would be the perspective she needed to pick herself back up.

  By the end of the night she’d be sitting in a pub and maybe she’d have better luck getting answers there than Aden did. This broken heart wasn’t going to change her. This setback wasn’t going to stop her. There was still a glimmer of hope that Junie could come to the place her father was born. Maribel wouldn’t give up on that. The walk was long but when she found her stop she felt relief.