by Penny Reid
Her eyes narrowed on me. “I don’t think he wants you to be his friend.”
“But that’s what he needs,” I said, wrinkling my nose. “I think he trusts me because I don’t want anything from him. I think he just really desperately needs someone to talk to, someone who is on his side, and he’s confusing trust with…lust.”
Sam smiled her amusement, her eyes dancing over my face. “Or he’s confusing lust with trust.”
I rolled my eyes and fell back to the bed, again staring out through the skylight.
“But seriously,” she started, paused, then took a deep breath, “he’s kind of possessive of you, right? Like, how he stared down Ray in the limo. And I thought he was going to bite Griffin’s arm when he touched you while we were on the boat. It seems especially strange since you two aren’t even really together yet.”
Yet… O.o
“It is weird. I’m glad you said something because I wondered if I was just overreacting. And it’s all so fast.”
“No, not really. You’ve been lab partners for almost two semesters. From what you told me about your conversation with him against the pool table last night, for him, I think this relationship—in some form—has been going on for months, not hours. I suspect he’s been thinking about you far more than you realize.”
I covered my face with my hands. “How do I survive this? How am I going to get through this week? He needs a friend and all I can think about is doing very bad things to his body.”
“You’re starved for physical intimacy. He’s starved for emotional intimacy. Maybe you can help him and help yourself.”
“I don’t want to use him like that. I think his whole life people have been trying to use him.”
“I’m not talking about sex, Katy. I still don’t think you’re ready for that. You have a big heart and it would definitely get in the way of a no-strings arrangement. I’m just saying, there’s nothing wrong with fooling around a little with a guy you’re attracted to. Maybe…,” Sam reached for my hands and pulled them away from my face. She then lifted her eyebrows and gave me a pointed look. “Maybe you can help each other.”
CHAPTER 8
Bond Polarity and Electronegativity
Sam spent the night with me. Having her there helped. But despite the heavenly bed and the sound of the ocean in the background, I didn’t sleep very well.
Sam and I hadn’t joined the boys for dinner. Instead we opted to sit on the balcony overlooking the sea and study. This was my idea. I needed more time to think, to consider, to plan my next move with Martin. I was certain he needed a friend much, much more than he needed a girlfriend, now I just needed to convince him of this fact.
Mr. Thompson stopped by to check in and make sure everything was to our liking. I asked about having dinner in the suite and he said he’d pass the message along. One of the maids brought us dinner. Her name was Rosa and she reminded me of my paternal grandmother; her big smile was sweet and she promised us cookies if we ate all our vegetables.
She also brought me a note from Martin. In his scrawling, masculine, chaotic script it read:
Parker,
I’ll be down at the beach tonight. Come find me.
-Martin
I was relieved he didn’t come by or press the issue of me taking dinner in my room. I needed space and time and…basically all the known dimensions available to me, maybe even the assistance of invisible dark matter. I wasn’t ready for a moonlight stroll on the beach with Martin yet. The sky had too many stars to be anything but fatalistically romantic.
After eating, Sam and I studied some more. I opted for the giant shower with seven heads—despite the fact the bathtub was the size of a small swimming pool—then worked on a term paper until midnight when we went to bed.
It was early when I woke, the sun just making an appearance and the light still soft and hazy. I pulled on my bathrobe and walked to the window, wanting to catch the purples and oranges painting the sky before it surrendered to blue.
I got my wish and then some. The view was epically spectacular. The white sandy beach and calm water called to me in a way I’d never experienced. Suddenly, I wanted to go swimming. Right that minute. I needed to leave the manufactured luxury of the big house. The genuine beauty of nature called to me.
I quickly changed in the bathroom, careful to lather myself in super high SPF, and grabbed two oversized beach towels.
I also packed a canvas bag with a leftover bottle of water from the night before, my current book, a big hat, sunglasses, and other beach essentials. I exited out the balcony door and picked my way down the path to the beach. The path consisted of ten stone steps and a hundred feet of the finest, softest sand I’d ever touched.
Once there I dropped my belongings, discarded my T-shirt, cotton shorts, and flip flops, and walked into the salt water. The water was crystal clear, the temperature cool and refreshing, and was nearly as calm as a lake. It felt like heaven.
For at least an hour I floated, swam, searched for shells, and just generally enjoyed the alone time with my thoughts in this beautiful place. When my fingers became prunes, I reluctantly abandoned the water for the shore.
I arranged one of the towels under the shade of a big palm tree and rolled the other towel into a pillow for my head. Then, I read my book, drying in the sea air, and lazing about like a lazy person. This was the kind of unscheduled relaxing I’d embraced since starting college.
I was maybe four pages into my novel when I heard the noise; it was a chant—faint then louder—of baritone voices. Lifting onto my elbows, I set my book to one side, holding my place with my thumb, and peered around for the origin.
Then I saw them. All nine of the boys—looking remarkably like men—out some distance from shore; far enough away I couldn’t quite make out individual faces, but close enough I could plainly see they were all shirtless. And it ought to be noted that they should always be shirtless. In fact, they should be disallowed from wearing shirts…ever.
They were rowing, their boat flying over the water. I strained my ears and realized they were counting backward from ten.
I followed their progress, marveling at how they moved so quickly and with seemingly so little effort in perfect unison. I wondered what that must be like, being part of something so perfect, so harmonious. It was…well, it was beautiful.
The closest I’d ever come to something like that was playing my music, losing myself on the piano, or jamming with my Sunday night bandmates. But we weren’t perfect. We were far from harmonious, however sometimes we’d have a good night where everything felt right and effortless, like we were flying on the music we’d created together.
Just as suddenly as the rowers appeared they were gone. The boat went around the edge of the cove and their chant grew fainter, farther away. I stared at the spot where they’d disappeared for a minute then reclined back on my towel, watching the horizon.
“Holy crap. That was something.”
I turned my head slightly and found Sam standing on the beach, her hands on her hips, and her attention focused on the bend of the cove. She was wearing an itsy bitsy bikini that showed how hard she worked on her tennis game.
“Hey, you there. Good-looking female,” I called to her. “Why are you up?”
“Because I bought this damn bikini last year and this is my first chance to wear it.” She sauntered over to where I reclined and spread out her towel. Her spot was somewhat in the sun, but I doubted she minded the opportunity to tan. I didn’t want to take the chance of blinding someone, so I liked my spot in the shade. With my paper-white complexion, the glare off my thighs would likely burn retinas.
She turned to me to say something else, but then the chanting became audible again. Sure enough, the boat came back into view. Eight muscled rowers sweeping the water with their oars, Lee at the stern facing Martin. Their arms and shoulders flexing, their stomachs and backs rippling. The movement of their bodies was as mesmerizing as it was arousing. This time they were close e
nough I could almost see their facial expressions, see the sweat rolling down their necks and chests.
From where I sat, they looked stern, focused, maybe a little bit in pain, but still beautiful. Heart-achingly beautiful. My mouth went completely dry.
Sam and I watched them for almost a full minute before they flew past and were once more out of sight.
Then, she fanned herself. “Yeah. I am totally going to have sex with Eric. That was hot.”
I said nothing, because once again my dirty thoughts were at odds with what I knew was smart, with what I knew was right.
Martin needed a friend.
I would be that friend.
I would.
And my pants hated me for it.
***
Three of the groundskeepers brought brunch down to the beach under the oversight of Mrs. Greenstone. And by brunch, I mean they transported what looked like the equivalent of a fancy outdoor restaurant down to the beach. A large buffet was spread out on a huge wooden serving table, and beautifully carved dining tables and chairs with deep cushions were set up on the edge of the water. A sideboard with china, crystal, linen napkins, towels, suntan lotion—and basically everything else one might want for the beach—was set out with practiced and aesthetically pleasing efficiency.
To top it all off, several large arrangements of tropical flowers were placed on the tables along with little packets of aloe set on ice to chill.
I glanced sideways at the opulence, feeling out of place with my modest, black two-piece that was three years old, my turquoise Walmart flip flops, and my gas station sunglasses.
To be honest, the excess repelled me in much the same way the size and luxuriousness of the house had repelled me when we first arrived. I wasn’t against people being rich. Nor was I against people owning and enjoying nice things.
I guessed the problem was that everything was too big, too much, too shiny, too new, too sterile, too impersonal. I felt like all the real details that mattered—the smell of the ocean, the sensation of sand beneath feet, the soft sounds of the sea meeting the shore, the rustle of wind through the palms—were lost in the ostentatiousness of the house and its sprawling splendiferous shadow.
Where Sam and I had set our towels was a good two hundred feet from the fancy buffet and beneath the shade of a palm; however, the spot was clearly visible from the trail. We were both on our stomachs and reading when Herc, Ray, and Ben appeared from the house path.
Ray gave us a little wave and an amiable smile, Herc gave us a little wave that I imagined was friendly for him, and Ben gave us a leering look and no other acknowledgement. I silently wondered again why Martin had invited Ben as all evidence pointed to the fact he was an unsavory sort. The guys crossed to the impressive brunch spread.
No sooner had they made it to the tables did Eric and Griffin jog past. Eric skidded to a stop when he saw us and gave Sam a bright smile. Griffin lifted his chin and waved politely, then made a beeline for the food.
“I’ll be right back.” Eric held out his index finger to us in the universal symbol for give me a minute. “I’m starving.”
“Take your time.” Sam shrugged, and I saw she was doing her best to appear unaffected. “It’s not like we’re going anywhere.”
“Yeah. Good.” Eric’s eyes moved over her body—not in a leering, I’d-hit-that kind of way, but rather in a damn-you-must-work-out-and-I’m-impressed kind of way—his eyebrows doing an adorable double jump of appreciation as he scanned her. Then he shook his head as though clearing it and slowly turned away. In fact, his steps were almost halting as he walked to the buffet yet turned back and glanced at Sam twice.
Sam, however, was looking at her book. But I could tell she wasn’t reading. When he was out of earshot, she asked in a near whisper, “Did he look back?”
“Yes. Twice.”
“Excellent.”
I smirked and looked up at the guys. Unable to help herself, Sam lifted her eyes as well.
They hadn’t bothered yet with shirts and were still clothed in spandex shorts that ended just above the knee. Really, they should have been naked. Their outfits left nothing to the imagination.
I quickly refocused attention on my book, my cheeks red from sudden exposure to male fineness, but Sam gaped for a few minutes longer.
“Thank you, Katy. Thank you for being Martin Sandeke’s lab partner. Thank you for having no idea how amazing you are. Thank you for driving him wild with your clueless indifference. Just…thank you for this moment.”
I rolled my eyes behind my sunglasses and flipped onto my back.
“You’re welcome. Never say I didn’t get you anything, especially since there are four more shirtless rowers on their way.”
“I will die happy here, today, in this spot,” she sighed.
“In your puddle of lust.”
“Leave my puddle of lust alone. Get your own puddle.”
A few moments passed in relative silence, relative because the sound of the boys’ conversation drifted to us, though none of the words were decipherable. I was actually able to concentrate on my book for about ten minutes before we were interrupted.
“Hey, so what do you think so far?”
I turned my head and found Eric kneeling in the sand next to Sam’s towel, splitting his attention between both of us. I rolled to my side then sat up, pulling my knees to my chest. Sam, however, continued to lounge on the ground.
“It’s really nice,” I said with feeling, because it was nice and he was being nice, and it’s nice to be nice.
Then, because I wanted to say something more than just nice, I added, “The beach is exquisite. I’ve never seen this kind of sand.”
Eric gave me a friendly smile. “Yeah, this is our second year. Last year Martin brought us down for spring break and I’ve been looking forward to it since we left. I love this place.”
“I can see why,” Sam said, “it’s gorgeous.”
Eric’s gaze rested on her for a beat before he agreed, “Yeah, gorgeous…”
My eyes flickered between the two of them, obviously sharing a moment, and I tried not to make any sudden movements. I adverted my gaze to the cover of the book I’d discarded and realized I had no recollection of what I’d been reading.
Eric was the first to speak, and he did so with a charming grin. “So, Sam. Would you mind helping me put suntan lotion on my back? I’d like to go for a swim but I’m sure the stuff I put on earlier is mostly gone by now.”
“Sure,” she responded immediately, then hopped to her knees, grabbed her lotion, circled behind him as they both stood, and applied a generous amount of liquid SPF and UV protection to his torso.
He was facing me, so Sam was behind him. Therefore I was treated to her facial expressions while she touched his body. At one point she mouthed the words Oh my God, her eyes growing large. I had to roll my lips between my teeth to keep from laughing.
After the longest lotion lathering in the history of forever, Sam moved to step away but he caught her hand.
“Want to go swimming?”
She nodded, a big smile on her face. All her earlier attempts to keep it cool must have melted away…for some inexplicable reason.
Without a backward glance or a wave or an, I’ll see you later in my direction, the two of them took off for the ocean. I watched them go feeling a mixture of excitement on Sam’s behalf, and worry, also on Sam’s behalf. She obviously liked him a lot. And I supposed he was likeable enough. But neither of us knew him very well.
“Hey. Kaitlyn, right?” someone said from behind me.
I turned toward the voice at my back and found Ben—the cuss monster, would-be drugger, self-admitted rapist, and blatant leerer—hovering at the edge of my towel. My stomach tightened with trepidation.
“Yes. That is correct. I am Kaitlyn,” I said, not meaning to sound as robotic as I did but unable to help it. This guy wanted to hurt and extort Martin, and that alone was enough to make me dislike him with the heat of magma.
“Okay…?” I peered at him, not understanding why he was telling me this.
We stared at each other for a beat. He was quite good-looking, very well built, very tall, and he made me exceedingly uneasy.
At length he huffed. “So, I need you to put the lotion on my back.”
My frown deepened and I shook my head. “Um, no thanks.”
“No thanks?”
“That is correct. No thanks.”
His eyes darted between mine and he appeared to be confused. “You’re not going to do it?”
“Correct. I’m not going to do it.”
Ben’s confused expression morphed into a sneer. “What’s the big deal?”
I tightened my arms around my legs. “It’s not a big deal. I don’t touch people I don’t know, it’s one of my life rules.” The nice thing about having life rules is that you can make up new ones on the spot when it’s convenient. Not touching people I don’t know hadn’t been a life rule before this minute, but it was definitely on the list now.
“We’ve met.”
“Yes, but I don’t know you and I don’t want to touch you.”
He stared at me for five seconds, but it felt like an hour, his pale eyes growing mean and angry. Abruptly, he blurted, “Why are you being such a bitch about this? I just need some fucking help here and you’re acting like a fucking bitch.”
I flinched at the words—even his expletives were redundant and unimaginative—and then pulled my gaze from his, opting to stare at the beach and wishing I’d forced myself on Sam and Eric. They were in the water, floating, talking, and probably not cussing at each other.
Even though you don’t feel calm doesn’t mean you can’t be calm. My mother’s words came back to me.
“Go away,” I said. My heartbeat and the pumping of my blood roared between my ears. My body was beyond tense, like it was bracing for a physical blow, and I felt abruptly cold and removed from my surroundings, like I was in a tunnel.