* * *
Doorbell. Knocking. Damn persistent people. Can’t answer the door. Buzz off.
* * *
I woke up at seven-thirty, about fifteen minutes after the sun went down. I stretched, pulled myself out of bed and headed for the shower. It had felt good the night before, and I needed something that felt good. Gypsy stretched and watched me from the bed, waiting to see if she should follow me to the bathroom or chill out where she was. It was a nightly routine for us, one I felt sure she’d be glad to get back to after the stay at Sebastian’s. If I showered, I got my clothes out and left them on the bathroom floor for her to lie in while I cleaned up. If not, she curled up on the bed while I dressed.
With a quick pat to her soft little head, I went to pick my clothes. But once I had the closet open, I found myself stuck with indecision. For the first time in many years, I found I really didn’t want to put on any particular look. Nothing slinky – I didn’t feel terribly sexy. Not the dark-and-mysterious stuff. My colorful raver clothes seemed too attention-grabbing. I stared at all the options for a minute, thinking about what a ridiculous clothes-hoarder I was. Maybe I should give it all to the thrift shop. Finally I pulled out a paint-smeared tee-shirt and jeans and slammed the closet shut.
I showered while Gypsy purred. Apparently the stay with Sebastian hadn’t affected her too much, even if I couldn’t stop thinking about those few days. The way my cat just shrugged it off only made me think about it more. The sudden thrust into a violent and bizarre world. Following our old routine was getting back to another life. A life I liked. A life I hadn’t wanted to deviate from in the first place.
A human life, I realized, as suds ran down my face. Yeah, I drank blood, but so did a lot of mortals, and nothing else had changed until now. A crisis in my world meant dealing with my parents coming to visit. Or which gallery had turned me down for a show. Or Gypsy running off and getting picked up by the pound. I’d faked being human ever since my change. I hadn’t realized how much until now. Hiding, starving, having people trying to kill me . . . that was being a vampire.
No wonder Kent told me it wasn’t always a good time.
I showered long and hot, turned off the water once I had wrinkled up real good. I brushed my teeth, examining my fangs in the mirror. Longer than my other set of teeth had been. Even then, I’d seen mortals with canines as long, joking that they were vampires themselves. I didn’t have to feel my fangs to know how sharp they were. I’d cut my lips and tongue on them all the time at first, talking, eating, biting my lip while I thought. It took a few weeks to get used to having such sharp teeth.
Gypsy followed me up the stairs, ready for dinner. My stomach grumbled. I could use some dinner, too. I hadn’t taken enough from Sebastian the other night to keep me going for long. It had already started to wear thin.
Gypsy didn’t follow me into the kitchen. I gave her food bag a loud shake. I could hear her bell, jingling as she trotted up and down the hall, mewing. My heart fell to my stomach.
“Daddy’s not here, Gypsy.” My voice sounded flat. It was part of the routine to find Kent and say good morning after I got up. He would give me a hug and Gypsy a pat. I filled her bowl and left her to search. She’d get hungry eventually.
I had my keys in my pocket – I pulled them out to make sure – and snagged my wallet off the kitchen counter. I had to get the car sometime. The little bit of money I had should cover the cost of a few nights in the lot – but that would be all my cash. Which only brought up another frightening subject. How was I going to pay for anything? My paintings didn’t provide that much income, whatever I told Mom. Kent bought all the household stuff.
With a deep sigh I decided to forget it, promised myself I’d sincerely worry in a week or two. Or whenever the money in my account started running low.
I opened the door. There was a face on the other side, someone at my door –
I screamed and jumped back.
My sister let out a short scream too. Bit it off and slapped a hand to her chest, glaring at me. I shut my mouth and grabbed at the door frame. Stopped myself from slamming the door on her. He was dead. Maybe he could have looked like Amanda – short purple hair, ripped jeans, faded tee-shirt – but I saw him die.
“You scared the hell out of me!” I snapped. My hands shook so hard my keys jingled. “Christ, Amanda! Knock, huh?”
She rolled her eyes and let out a breath. It gave me a chance to collect my thoughts. I also took the opportunity to glance up and down the street and spot the little Honda Amanda had gotten for her sixteenth birthday. I relaxed more.
“Sorry,” she said. “I was just about to when you opened the door. Where you been all day?”
Of course. The doorbell that kept waking me up.
“Out,” I lied.
“You’re uptight,” Amanda said, tossing vibrant purple bangs out of her eyes.
You have no idea, I thought, and stayed silent.
She looked away, shrugged and crossed her arms. “Sorry.” She glanced back at me. “I came as soon as Mom told me. I figured you could use some family about now. Family that won’t harass you.”
If I could have blushed, I would have. She came all the way from Eugene for me, and I was all uptight and freaked out. I sighed. “Yeah.”
“Where you going?” she asked, taking a step closer. “Mind if I tag along?”
Yeah, tag along to Sebastian’s place. Great idea.
“An appointment,” I said. “And actually, it’d be better if you didn’t.”
Amanda raised her eyebrows at me. “Appointment? Jen, it’s after seven. What appointment?”
“Ian,” I corrected.
“Sorry. Ian. Mom hates that, you know.”
“Mom hates your hair, too,” I flashed back. Her eyes sparked. I forced myself to relax.“My name’s Ian. I never liked Jennifer, and it’s legally Ian, on my license, on my mail, and on my goddamn underwear. All right?”
“Yeah, fine, shit.” She looked me up and down. “This is really hitting you hard, isn’t it?”
I withered. “This.” Kent. I looked away, trying to hold back bloody tears.
“I’m sorry, Ian.” Amanda took the last couple of steps between us and hugged me. I let her, holding her loosely with one arm. If I hugged her more, I would burst into tears.
“Yeah,” I managed. “Thanks.” She squeezed me harder.
With a low and dirty feeling, I realized now was the time to insist on making my “appointment.”
“Look, Amanda,” I murmured into her purple hair, “I really need to keep this appointment. Why don’t you rattle around the house, maybe grab a bite to eat around the corner, and I’ll be back?”
She sighed warm breath onto my neck. “If you really need to . . .”
“I do. It’ll just be a couple hours, okay? I’m sorry.”
She let go of me and stepped back. “Hey, don’t apologize to me, huh? I came out to make sure you’re okay. I’ll be here when you get back.”
But she looked away uncomfortably, sorry to see me leave just as she arrived. I wanted to tell her I was glad she came. How much I needed someone right now. But I couldn’t. Of course.
Why not? She’s my sister. What would she do to me if she knew?
My mouth twitched into a small frown. After all, Josephine had Emily and Evan. There had to be humans that knew.
I opened my mouth to say something, tell her we needed to talk. Hesitated, searching for the right words, and felt my nerve vanish.
Amanda cocked her head at me, waiting for what I had to say.
“I’ll try to hurry,” I said.
She frowned and bobbed a nod. “Sure.”
To make up for it, I gave her another quick hug before I ran down the stairs and left.
Kent wouldn’t have told me again and again to stay hidden for no reason. There had to be something to it.
Yeah, like Emily. If she hadn’t known about us, she might still be alive.
My shoulders clenched.
There had to be a reason other than that. Ignorance wouldn’t have kept Emily safe – not forever. Maybe it was better she had known the truth, instead of dying with a stranger’s fangs buried in her neck, with no answers, not even sure if it was real . . .
I shuddered.
Stop it.
Okay, think of Amanda. What to tell her. Or not.
Kent never had anyone mortal – acquaintances, collaborators, sure, like his band, but they didn’t know what he really was, and he didn’t let people closer than that. My sister, though. That had to be different. Kent’s drill-sergeant routine just had me paranoid. I could still see him pacing, ticking rules off on his fingers.
“First rule, never reveal yourself. Second, never terrify or kill when you feed. Third, let other vampires have their space. Fifth – wait, am I on fifth or fourth?” He paused to remember while I giggled at him, then shook his head. “Doesn’t matter. Never reveal yourself, never scare anyone, never bug another vampire, and –”
“Never go to a tanning salon!” I piped up.
He faked a cringe. “That’s not even funny anymore, Ian,” he said, smiling. “If you ever tell that one to another vampire, I’ll disown you.”
Even joking around hadn’t kept him from repeating that rule. I couldn’t just forget about it. I resolved to ask Sebastian. If he couldn’t give me a better reason than what I’d come up with, I’d talk to Amanda about the truth. “Hey, Sis, I’m a walking corpse, and Kent was two hundred years old or so when I met him. What’s new with you?”
Okay. Maybe I’d talk to Amanda.
Why did my life need to get complicated all at once, anyway? One of these at a time would be tough to deal with. Biting at my lip again, I got on a busy street and flagged a cab. I told the driver to take me to the Pike-Pine corridor and slumped back in the seat.
IAN
Feeding improved my mood some, but by the time I stepped off Sebastian’s elevator that improvement had soured. Being fed meant I didn’t have my hunger to distract me, leaving my mind to focus on other troubles.
Like what to say to Amanda. Kent and Emily being gone. And this apartment, where I had lived with that loss for the last few days. Where I had watched Sebastian drink someone dry so they couldn’t get up and kill me.
I could still hear him swallowing.
“Hello, Ian,” Sebastian said. He stood waiting in the living room, arms crossed, dressed to run me around. Loose pants, no shirt, barefoot, long hair tied back. His torso had the tight, defined musculature I had expected from someone who’d spent centuries on his fighting skills. If it hadn’t been Sebastian standing there dressed like that, I might have started drooling.
“Hi. How’s it going?” I suddenly wondered what he’d done with the body. My stomach lurched. I decided I didn’t want to know.
He seemed to hesitate a moment, his eyes deepening thoughtfully. “Fine. And you?”
“Good. My sister came in from Oregon today. She heard about Kent.” He stayed quiet. I fidgeted, then plowed on. “I need some advice.”
“If I can offer any, I shall.”
I spread my hands. “What should I tell her? She doesn’t know anything about us and she wants to stay for a while. I left ten seconds after she got here and I think I avoided six subjects in that time.”
Sebastian raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know what to tell you. I do know that the burning times thinned our numbers drastically, until hiding our nature became the only way we might survive. Some believe such a threat still exists. The pack believes in controlling the humans so that such a thing cannot happen again. I am less sure of either stance. I know there are those among us who keep some few humans close to them, but I have never kept mortal pets.”
Before I could open my mouth to ask what he meant, I got it. Right between the eyes.
“Pet?” I stared at him, checking his eyes for the joke. They stayed utterly flat. “Pet!” I repeated. “She’s my sister, not my damn pet! What do you mean, pet?”
“I have not had siblings for a long time. I have, however, known several vampires who kept human . . . companions. Please excuse my choice of words.”
He seemed sincere enough, like he honestly didn’t want to offend but didn’t know how else to put it. I backed down, still unhappy. Pets. Human beings, kept around because they were cute and affectionate.
My eyes went wide. “You mean Josephine, don’t you? Emily and Evan.”
He shrugged.
“Pets,” I repeated. “They were pets to her.”
“I do not know how she viewed them. She may or may not have seen them as such.” He was unmoved, waiting for me to digest this so we could get on with it.
Emily. A pet. I didn’t know Josephine well, she might not have seen them that way. I hoped not. I gulped at the lump that suddenly thickened my throat – at the memory of Emily holding me while I cried.
“Well,” I said to the floor, “whatever, Amanda is not my pet. She’s my sister.”
Sebastian shrugged.
I crossed my arms and glared at the floor. Whatever you want, little vampire, I won’t call your pet that to your face if it bothers you. Hmph.
“Josephine told Evan and Emily the truth, though, right?” I asked out loud. Sebastian shrugged yet again. I kept glaring at the floor. “Well, all right. I’ll talk to my sister about this vampire business, then. Thanks, Sebastian."
His eyes flickered humor at my tone. “I’m glad to have helped. Shall we get started?”
I glared at a wall, then sighed. He’d apologized for the term. He probably hadn’t ever heard a different word from other vampires. And he’d still helped me figure out my problem, even if it upset me. “Yeah, let’s get going. Where do we start?”
“This way.” He padded out of the living room like a huge cat. I shivered, thinking of watching him cut down the shape-changer. Of his face while he did it.
He led me down the hall. I followed, dragging my feet. Tried not to shudder when we passed the library. I pretended to ignore it and noticed it like a splinter. The doors were propped into place, still cracked where they’d come off the hinges.
Crack! went the doors. Crack! into my broken nose . . .
Sebastian took me to that dojo-esque room I’d only been in once before. Balance beams, suspended bars, soft mats – swords, knives, staffs and assorted weapons on the walls. This was the room I would rather have run to the other night.
Yeah, like I know how to use any of this stuff. Like I would have if I’d had the chance.
I followed him in, hands shoved in my pockets. Nudged the door shut with my foot. Sebastian’s muscled back rippled as he walked, towards the wall and the swords. If I turned my head, I could see him walking in the mirrors that covered one wall. He went to the racks and ran a finger over one of the blades. I shifted my weight, thinking about the sound that kind of metal made when it hit someone.
Shing.
Sebastian’s eyes went thoughtful, examining the swords. “No, I think we’ll start with hand-to-hand. Self-defense.” He glanced at me. “Unless you’re interested in learning swordplay?”
“No thanks,” I said.
His eyes sparkled humor.
“I am going to teach you the way I learned. Or rather, in a similar way.” He seemed to find that funny. I half-smiled, but I knew I missed the joke. “Take off your shoes, please,” he said. “They might damage the padding.”
I nodded and bent to undo them. My fingers trembled. I managed to get my laces undone, pulled my boots off and tossed them aside.
“All right.” Sebastian struck a pose that reminded me of Jackie Chan. “Let me see what you know.”
I waited for him to tell me what he wanted, but he vanished – poof. In one blurred movement that I could barely follow, he was in front of me, hand flat against my nose. I scrambled back, but I knew what had happened. He’d scored a “hit” on me before I’d even seen him try.
“Shit!” It came out breathless.
“Slow,” he commented.<
br />
“Shit!” I said again. “Shit, what was I supposed to do? I couldn’t even see you!”
He nodded. “If you wish to avoid me, you will learn to see me. Now. Hit me.”
It sounded ridiculous. But I knew he wouldn’t say it if he didn’t believe it. I nodded and stood straight. I braced myself and watched him close –
– keep your eye on the vampire –
I took a step forward and he blurred again. My hand came up to hit, but Sebastian was to the left of it. I staggered, expecting to connect with a solid body and finding only air. A hand on my back finished my stagger. I hit the floor with a thud that cracked my teeth together.
“Dammit!” I rolled onto my back and glared up at him. “Why did you push me?”
“Why did you let yourself fall?” he asked.
“I don’t know how to do any of this!” I smacked the floor. “You move so fast I can’t even see you! I know some basic, human self-defense, not supernatural judo!”
He offered me a hand. I stared at it dubiously. He flexed his fingers, asking me to take it. I did, and was pulled to my feet.
“Let me show you,” he said.
PRACTICE
She had a fluid grace about her that Sebastian knew she would be able to use once she learned to tap it. Not exceptional, but better than many beginners he had seen. He tried to ease up on her, knowing Specter’s methods would only infuriate. If she were infuriated, she would refuse to receive more training. It would waste both their time if she quit before she finished.
He showed her a simple block, made her repeat it several times, then nodded. “Good. Use that when I reach for you.”
She nodded and readied herself, not totally balanced, but not badly for her inexperience. He rushed her and evaded her block with no real effort. Her eyes widened.
“A good try,” he acknowledged. “But vampires are more advanced predators than humans.” He shot his hand toward her face. She tried to use the block to swipe it away, but he was faster. He caught her under the chin with one hand, holding his arm out stiff. She brought both hands down sharply on the inside of his elbow. Had it been sharp enough, it would have caused his arm to fold and release her. Her strength, however, was still on a mortal level.
In the Dark Page 17