He would find his Match, if it took another apocalypse to do it.
Cross had searched for his Match in every realm he could think of. But, never, ever, did it occur to him to go to one of the Council meetings and see Nia for himself. It never occurred to him that his Match would be Job’s outspoken rebel. It never occurred to him that God or Gaia or destiny or whatever controlled Phase-Matches would be stupid enough to give him such a treasure. He would’ve had enough trouble getting a normal woman to accept him. Cross had no idea what to even say to someone like Nia.
She was risking her life in the human realm because she wanted to make a difference, for God sake. Although he still wasn’t real clear on exactly what her plan was, it was obvious that Nia cared about things. Cross didn’t care about anything except her. Nia deserved someone better, cleaner, not so broken.
She was his Match, though. He just looked at her and knew it with everything in him.
Cross wasn’t sure what had happened when the Air House had attacked Nia. He’d been in the Shadowland and he’d actually heard her cry out. Felt her desperation and fear, just as he had after the Fall when oblivion threatened to swallow them all. Somehow, he’d locked on her and just pushed right into the human realm.
And the crippling weight of the Shadows had… helped him.
Cross had reached out and the power supported him. For once, it did exactly what he wanted. The Shadows took him right where he needed to go. To kill the evil fuckers who’d touched his woman.
So here he was, covered in blood, surrounded by Nia’s family, human debris and dead bodies, with a hurt Phase-Match and no clue what to do next. Cross had often plotted how to find his Match and all his life he’d dreamed of actually having a woman who loved him. There was a lot of uncharted territory connecting those two goals that he’d never really considered, though. Like, for instance, how not to kill the Wood Phase his Match was obviously so fond of.
Because, honestly, Cross was beginning to lose it.
It wasn’t a good idea for a guy who could end the world to lose it. Cross knew that. Plus, it wouldn’t make his Match happy. But, if Uriel didn’t get his hands off of Nia, Cross would have to kill him. His palm tightened around the handle of the sword in readiness.
He felt a pressure building up inside of him, even bigger than the weight of the Shadows. Uriel held Nia’s wrist in one hand and was wrapping a bandage around her upper arm with the other. It wasn’t sexual. The Wood Phase was trying to help her, but Cross still couldn’t breathe with Uriel standing so close to his Match. What little control he managed to hold onto was slipping fast.
“You need to step away from her.” He ordered as calmly as he could. From the way the rest of them turned to gape at him, though, he could tell his voice had been filled with the power of the Shadows.
Fuck.
Cross cleared his throat and tried again. “Step away from her.” He repeated, keeping his eyes on Uriel. “Step away, now.”
Uriel stared at him and Cross knew the exact second the Wood Phase understood. Uriel released Nia so fast you’d think she’d caught fire.
Elementals had a strict code around touching other people’s Matches and Wood Phases loved nothing more than adherence to a code. Technically, Nia had to accept Cross and there had to be actual Phazing or recognition from the Council for the Match to be validated. But, even at this stage Uriel wouldn’t overstep the bounds of propriety. He didn’t like Cross and he still backed away. “I apologize.” Uriel said, quietly. “I didn’t know.”
Cross relaxed enough to nod.
“Hello? Bleeding here.” Nia glared over at Cross. “Stop terrorizing poor Uriel, so he can finish. We don’t have time for whatever your deal is, Cross.”
God, he loved it when she said his name, even in that pissy tone. It was like a little drop of coolness on the fevered surface of his mind. Just being near her helped, actually, as if Nia cast a bit of shade for him to lie in and just rest. The horrible pressure in his head was so much more bearable when she looked at him with those huge blue eyes.
“Cross is going to finish the bandage.” Uriel reported when Cross didn’t say anything. “We’ll be out here.” He herded Ty and Tharsis into the outer office before Nia could protest.
Tharsis wasn’t happy. “Yeah, but isn’t that guy nuts?” He whispered, loudly. “And armed?”
“Cross won’t hurt her.” Uriel assured him as the door swung shut.
Cross silently swore and very deliberately set the sword aside. He didn’t know anything about bandaging other people’s wounds. He’d figured that Ty would do it. Or Tharsis. He’d be okay with her brother touching Nia, just not another unattached male. Now what was he supposed to do?
His gaze flicked over to his Phase-Match. It was mostly her fault that he was acting so insane. Well, that and the fact that he was insane, anyway.
Nia sat there, staring at him with wide turquoise eyes. Her hair was such a bright shade of red that he’d never even dreamed such a color existed when he was a boy, living in grey and black shadows. And her body…
Cross swallowed.
Different Houses had different physical characteristics. While so many Phases were tall and thin, the Water House had always bred smaller, curvier women. They were prized among Elemental men. So rare and lovely that Cross suddenly almost understood Parald’s fury at being denied the softness of one.
Nia watched Cross expectantly as he continued to study her. “Well?” She didn’t seem afraid of him, anymore. Or maybe she was just so used to assuming control that it made her feel better to try and issue him orders like she did with the rest of her little crew. Either way, Cross was willing to go along with it. Just so they were both headed in the same direction, he’d let Nia lead for a while. She was his only destination, anyway.
He moved closer to her. Nia sat on the overturned side of the desk, her feet dangling in the air. It put them at eye level and meant that he had to stand between her legs. It was an utterly indefensible position for her. He fought the urge to lecture her about protecting herself from people like him and carefully reached out to touch her wrist.
The second his skin brushed against hers, he felt energy shooting through him like a lightning storm. “Oh shit.” He groaned. Cross eyes closed in ecstasy as energy pulsed through him. This wasn’t the overwhelming darkness of the Shadows. This was a power so light and clean that it could only come from Nia. It cleansed him from the inside out. The pain in his head lifted entirely and Cross barely noticed.
Phazing.
It wasn’t supposed to happen so fast. Before he even had a chance to tell Nia who he was. Different Phases knew someone was their Match at different times. When she first saw him, Nia hadn’t seemed to realize that he was her Match. Not the way that Cross had just known she was his when he felt her after the Fall. Simply touching Nia’s skin triggered the beginning of Phazing, though, so Cross figured she was probably going to figure things out pretty damn quick.
Good.
He wanted her to know. Wanted her to surrender and admit that she belonged to him.
A Phase-Match was the goal of every Phase. It was the only way they could procreate and, in a more existential sense, the only way they could be whole. The two sides of the Match came together to form one bigger, symbiotic force. Their powers had to recognize and join. When they did it was a sexual 4th of July celebration called Phazing. A desperate, urgent, out of control desire that was pretty much impossible to ignore. It only happened with one person and, when it hit, it was like being granted your own, private miracle.
After knowing nothing but pain and isolation, Cross felt like he’d just won the damn lottery. He threw himself headlong in the bliss of belonging to someone. “Nia.” Her name was so thick with Shadows that Cross was surprised that she could understand him. “Yes or no?”
She’d say no. He knew that, but he still had to ask. Even the early stages of Phazing had to be mutual or it was worthless.
Nia’s eyes went wide
as she felt the strength of his power brush against hers. Cross was holding back, making sure that the full weight of the Shadows didn’t overwhelm her or hurt her even as his instincts screamed at him to just let go and experience the Phazing completely. Just the small touch of the Shadows he gave her carried more of a punch that more Phases ever came close to, though. Nia’s gaze went blank with stunned pleasure. “Yes. Cross, yes.”
She’d said yes.
That surprised him enough that he just gaped at her for a moment. Then, triumph filled him, even though he knew that she wasn’t sure what she was agreeing to. Still, it was close enough. Cross was suddenly so aroused, all he could do was step fully into the cradle of her legs and give into at least one Phazing instinct. He grabbed Nia’s hip and pulled her forward so she was tight up against his erection. She fit against him perfectly as he bent over her.
Nia’s licked her lip at the predatory move. “Wow.” She breathed in and out rapidly, as if she felt the energy building between them, too. Their powers coming together. “Cross.” She pushed closer to him, so he could feel the weight of her breasts against his chest. “How are you doing that? You’re holding so much energy that… Oh!”
The second his mouth covered hers, power poured out of him, creating a whirlwind around the desk. The bodies of the dead Phases vanished, the blood on the walls and floor evaporated and Cross didn’t even blink. The power still wasn’t touching Nia, so there was no need to let it distract him. His lips slanted over hers. He was so hungry that he felt like he’d die if he couldn’t taste her.
“Open your mouth for me.” He pulled back enough to issue the order, afraid to simply ask for fear she’d say no. “Now, Nia.” His lips covered hers again, not waiting for a reply.
She made a whimpering sound and did what he said.
“Good girl.” He wasn’t even aware that he was whispering to her, coaxing her as he took. “Be a good girl and kiss me back, now.”
Oh God. Her tongue slid past his lips and it felt so good. Better than anything else he’d ever felt. Her hands came up to grip his shoulders and Cross gave her a low sound of approval. He’d wanted his Phase-Match for so long. He’d wanted Nia for so long. The relentless pressure of the Shadows had receded, but he still couldn’t think. Couldn’t do anything but want her.
“Cross.” Her voice had a little hitch to it and it nearly broke him.
He could listen to her say his name forever and still not be satisfied.
“Cross.” She sounded dazed. “Please.” She arched against him, restlessly.
“I know, baby.” He, at least, knew that she was his Phase-Match. Nia had to be confused as hell by the heat they were generating. Cross wasn’t taking the time to explain it, though. Not now. “I’ll take care of you.” The perfect blue streak at her temple had been driving him crazy since he’d first seen it. His fingers found the curl and held it so he could angle her head for another kiss. The hair designating the Elemental Houses was always a tiny but more sensitive to touch.
She gasped as he tugged it, slightly. He felt the fine shudder of pleasure pass through her. “That’s cheating.” Her eyes drifted shut as his mouth covered hers, again.
Cross felt his lips curve against hers. Nia was the only creature in the universe who could make him smile all the way into his soul.
He rubbed against her body in the same rhythm that he used to kiss her. He released Nia’s hair, so his free hand could slide up under her blouse to find her breast through the lace of her bra. It overflowed his hand and Cross almost came just from the feel of her. From the fact that she was letting him touch her. The damn bra was in the way, though. Her nipple felt hard and perfect and he needed to see it. Needed to get rid of the obstructions to his quest.
Cross wasn’t sure what happened, next. He pulled back and suddenly Nia’s clothes just vanished. All of them. His jaw dropped, more from the sight of her naked than the unexpected surge of his power. She was so beautiful. So, so, beautiful.
And so, so freaked out.
Nia’s expression switched from sensual pleasure to panic so fast it would have been comical under other circumstances. Cross felt her growing fright at what he’d done splash like ice water across his head. Shadow Phases couldn’t make clothes just disappear. In fact, no Phase could disappear the clothes right off someone else. Only Cross had.
Unnatural.
Weird.
Wrong.
“What did you do?” She yelped. “Stop! I’m not ready for that.” Her hands came up to cover her breasts. Blue eyes flashed with betrayal.
“I know. I know. Shit!” Who the hell could blame her for not wanting to go any further? He was a freak. He’d taken her clothes and left her vulnerable, without her consent. Cross forced himself not to stare at her, not to feel the bare skin under his hands, even as he tightened his hold. “Give me a second.” If he let her go, she’d be totally exposed and that would be even worse. He had to figure out how to get her dressed, again. Where the fuck had her clothes gone? He looked around desperately. Had he somehow destroyed them?
Nia ignored that and tried to squiggle free of his grasp.
“Oh, God, baby. Don’t do that.” The Shadows were back in his voice as her naked body slid against him. “Stop, Nia. Stop moving.” His jaw clenched. “Please.”
She stopped, gazing up at him with an expression somewhere between fear and confusion. “What did you do?” She repeated, looking like she was about to start fighting in earnest.
“I don’t know. I’ll fix it, though.” Cross met her eyes. “You’re safe. I promise. We’ve stopped. ” He struggled to make his tone soothing, again. “We’ve stopped, baby. You’re safe.”
“I want to stop.” Nia nodded. “We need to stop.” She regarded his warily, but with markedly less fear. “Let me go.” It was a test. He could see it in her face.
Cross instantly took his hands off her and held out his palms, in classic ‘I Come in Peace’ fashion. It would be worse for him to see her fully naked, but it didn’t matter. Nia was in control, even if Cross outweighed her by a hundred pounds. He eased back, slightly. “That’s all you ever have to say to me. Alright? You say ‘stop’ and the discussion’s over.” Everything he felt for her was on his face. He could tell and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.
Nia stared into his eyes. Stared past his eyes and straight into his soul. “Okay.” She whispered, on a relieved sigh. “Good.” Her hands stopped pushing at his chest and slid down to fist against his shirt front, hanging on. “It’s alright.” She relaxed against him again, cuddling closer so he couldn’t see her body. “Just fix it.”
Trust.
Cross had never had anyone trust him before. Certainly not to this extent, when he didn’t even trust himself. If he were Nia, he’d be screaming for help or blasting him with as much Water energy as he could possibly generate.
He just watched her silently for a beat. Then, his hand slid over to touch her back, hesitantly. “Forgive me.” He heard himself say. “It was an accident. I didn’t mean to take… Well, okay, maybe your shirt I did want to take off, but…”
“Would you hurry?” Nia swallowed. “I really don’t want the others to see me without my clothes.”
“Believe me, baby, neither do I.” Especially, not Uriel.
“So, put them back on, then, dummy!” If he didn’t know better he’d swear there was a teasing element to her voice, now.
Cross closed his eyes and reached out to the Shadows, searching for whatever he’d done so he could undo it. It took him a minute to backtrack and figure it out. The Shadows were so enormous, so heavy that Cross couldn’t use them the way other Phases drew on their powers. He fought every day for some kind of control, but it never worked very well. Generally, all he got were nosebleeds. He had no idea why touching Nia had jumpstarted something.
He found the string he’d accidently pulled and yanked, again. Nia clothes came back in exactly the same condition they’d been in before. She beamed at hi
m. “You did it.”
What he’d done was unforgivable. Scaring her. Manhandling her when she was hurt. Holding her still; she was so much weaker than he was physically. Touching her at all; she was so much better than he was in every possible way. It was bad enough that Nia was stuck with Cross as a Match, but this was how he treated her? There was still blood on his hands, for God sake.
He was an even bigger bastard than his stepfather had claimed.
Cross dropped his forehead to hers, breathing hard. “I’m sorry. Nia, I’m sorry. Are you okay?” He had to force his hands to let her go and stepped away. “I won’t…” He broke off because he knew that if he promised he’d never touch her again, it would be a lie.
Fuck.
“I’m fine. I think I’m doing much better than you, in fact.” Turquoise eyes stayed fixed on him for a long moment. “You have so much energy in you. More than you’re even letting me see. I can still feel it all over my body. How do you control so much energy and stay sane?”
“I don’t.” Cross admitted in a dead tone. “I’m broken.” The headache was already coming back now that he wasn’t touching her.
“You don’t feel broken.” Nia glanced down at her arm and her mouth curved. “You even healed me. Broken Phases don’t do things like that.”
Cross frowned. “I didn’t…” He stopped in confusion as he saw that the cut on her shoulder had completely vanished. Even the bandage was gone. “That’s not part of the Shadows’ powers. It wasn’t me.”
“It was you, Cross. Trust me.” Nia jumped down off the desk so she could cover the space that separated them, now. The distance that he’d created when he backed away from her.
He retreated, again. “Nia, stop. You don’t want to come any nearer to me right now.” He was still too close to the edge. Too close to just ignoring what little conscience he had left.
Warrior from the Shadowland Page 5