Getting in the passenger seat just as Dylan was starting the vehicle, she said, “What do you think?”
“I think we’ve got more than we used to. And, I think my money’s on him calling you.”
“Really?”
“Look how he was living, Lucky. Hunter’s not giving him anything much. Billy’s going to be on the move soon. Guys like him always break.”
“I hope you’re right,” she said just as their radio beeped.
Connecting to the dispatcher, she started calling out information to Dylan. “Multivehicle accident just off the Bridgeport exit off of I25. Ambulance and firetrucks are en route.”
Dylan switched on their sirens and lights and sped off.
Billy, Hunter, and Gwen were temporarily forgotten.
CHAPTER 31
“Ballroom dancing is the art of getting
your feet out of the way faster than your
partner can step on them.”
It seemed that the fifth time was the charm. After learning more about how Officer Lucky, Shannon, and Kimber had only recently found each other but were already so close, Gwen decided to try harder to reach out to her brother—to find him.
She and Billy had never been all that close, but she was beginning to wonder if that distance had less to do with personality differences as it did with their upbringing. Their parents had pretty much ruined them for normal interactions with anyone.
Billy, even though he was barely a year older, had lit out of their apartment as soon as he got a decent fake ID. With Billy gone, her dad had even less reason to want anything to do with Gwen. Her mother? Well, she had taken to barely subsisting.
It was no surprise that Gwen had clung to Hunter like a vine. He wasn’t great, but at least he had wanted her around. She’d needed that.
But now that Hunter had gone south and turned scary, Gwen was starting to wonder if Billy had been more like her than she’d thought. Maybe he, too, had been searching for someone to connect with.
So, she’d started calling him every day and leaving messages. Serious ones. Not-so-serious ones. Promises that she didn’t want anything other than to hear his voice. To have a conversation with him.
On the fifth day she called, he picked up.
“What do you want, Gwen?” he rasped.
“Why do you sound like that? Did you just wake up?” She glanced at the clock on the wall. It was two in the afternoon.
“Why are you asking?”
“You sound groggy, like you were asleep.”
“Is that all you have to say? ’Cause if it is, you need to stop calling me. I don’t need to pick up the phone just to hear you whine.”
Wow. He sounded a lot like their father now. Her stomach sank. Reaching out to him had been a stupid idea. “I called to let you know that I left Hunter.”
There was a pause, then Billy said, “You dumped Hunter? Why would you do that?”
His new, far-more-alert tone caught her off guard. “He got really weird, Billy.” He’d also been a drug dealer, but she decided to keep that to herself for now. “I realized that if I stayed with him much longer, he was going to hurt me.” Or she’d lose the baby. Or she’d die . . . that had been a possibility.
“Where are you now?”
“I’m still in Bridgeport. What about you?”
“Uh, I’m up near Dayton.” His voice turned suspicious. “Why do you want to know?”
“No reason. I’m just asking.” Practically feeling his impatience with the conversation over the phone, she rushed on. “Billy, I got to thinking. Maybe our problems with relationships don’t have as much to do with each other as they do with our parents.”
“Our parents sucked, Gwen.”
“I know. See, that’s what I’m talking about. We have things in common that we weren’t even aware of.”
She heard the snap of a cigarette lighter and a sharp inhale. “What brought all this on? You just decided to mend our broken family out of the blue?”
Yes, he sounded sarcastic. And yes, he was making her say things that she’d wanted to keep to herself. But remembering some of the advice the counselor at the women’s center said, Gwen forged on and found some courage. “Well, I had some trouble with Hunter. After I left him, he didn’t want to leave me alone.”
“How come?”
Sometimes she forgot that her ex and her brother knew each other. “Well, I left during a police raid. He was selling drugs, Billy. Meth.”
“Where did you go?” His voice was sharper now.
“First, I went to the hospital for a week.”
“How come so long?”
“I was malnourished and needed to gain some weight.”
“You must have looked like crap if they kept you so long.”
“Well, um, there’s more to it. You see, I’m pregnant.”
“You got knocked up?”
For the rest of her life, she was going to really get mad at anyone who said something like that to her. She hated when people acted as if she got pregnant by herself. “Hunter had a part in that, too, Billy.”
“Are you still pregnant?”
“Yes.”
She could practically hear the wheels spinning in his head. Billy had been such an obvious thinker when they were little. He had the exact opposite of a poker face. “Kind of surprised to hear that, Gwen.”
She was surprised he hadn’t said exactly what he was thinking—that she should have had an abortion. “I don’t know why Hunter even cares. If it was up to him, I’d be hooked on meth and either be a terrible mother or harm the baby so much he’d have a ton of problems.”
“He? You’re having a boy?”
His voice sounded different again. She thought he sounded even more strained, though she wasn’t exactly sure why. Unless this baby news had done what all her phone calls and cajoling had not? She liked that idea. It would be so great if he finally started caring about her. “Yes. And the last sonogram I had showed that he is doing just fine.”
“If you’re getting a sonogram, you must be somewhere decent. Where you at?”
“I was at a center, but Hunter found me and broke in.”
“So, where are you now?” His voice was firm, more direct. “Are you still in Bridgeport?”
“Uh, yes. I’m staying with some friends right now.” That was all she wanted to tell him. Something about his tone sounded off.
“You have friends?”
He sounded so incredulous, it pained her. But then she told him the truth. What could it matter anyway? This was the first conversation she and Billy had shared in years. “To be honest, the cop who has been looking out for me invited me to stay with her for a little while. At least until they find him.”
“Hey. Hold on a sec.” She heard the click of the lighter again. Then, a muffled noise . . . and was that another voice?
When he got back on the line, she said, “Billy, who are you talking to? I mean, I know I don’t know any of your friends . . . but are you doing okay? What kind of job are you doing?”
“He’s working for me,” Hunter said. “Which means he’s gonna be real happy when I give him his bonus.”
White-hot panic engulfed her as she quickly hung up the phone.
And as, she did so, she realized two more things.
She’d been foolish to hope that her brother cared about her.
And she’d been just as stupid to think Hunter would ever give up so easily.
Looking around the loft, with the sounds of music floating upstairs from Shannon’s latest class, Gwen wondered what she’d just done.
CHAPTER 32
“To dance is to be out of yourself. Larger, more
beautiful, more powerful. This is power, it is glory
on earth, and it is yours for the taking.”
—Agnes de Mille
Out of everything Traci had gone through with Gwen, the idea of Gwen watching Shannon teach her and Matt to waltz made her the most uncomfortable. So much so, she’d asked Shannon to keep the lesson private.
“Our class is going to be fine, Traci,” Shannon soothed for about the third time. “I promise, you’re making mountains out of molehills.”
Traci loved her newfound sister. She really did. But honestly, there were times when she was sure she was going to scream if she heard one more down-home saying. Gathering her patience, she said, “Shannon, we don’t really know this girl. I don’t want her to know so much about my life.” Of course, what she really meant was that she didn’t want Gwen to see her making a fool of herself.
“It’s kind of too late to worry about that, don’t you think? You moved Gwen in here with us and pretty much forced us to accept her because she needed people who cared.”
“I did that for her safety.”
“I know. But, tell me the truth, did you ever think of the logistics of it all?”
“I thought about how it would affect Dylan and my schedule. We cleared it with the lieutenant.”
“Traci, I mean, did you think about what she would do all day?”
“Not really.” Even though Shannon’s door was closed, she lowered her voice. “I guess I just thought Gwen would be napping and hanging out a lot.”
“You thought she’d be hanging out alone in her room for hours and hours every day?”
“Well, yes. I mean, that’s what she did at the hospital.” Of course, now she realized that that expectation was both stupid and selfish. Gwen was eighteen, scared, and lonely. Of course she wasn’t going to want to sit all day by herself. It wasn’t good for her, either.
“She was sick then, honey.” Shannon propped both hands on her hips. “Traci, I’m just going to say it. Expecting her to sit by herself in a room all day long isn’t healthy or natural. The girl needs companionship.”
“But I don’t want to push her on you.” What she really didn’t want was for Gwen to somehow bother her sisters so much that they’d want to kick Gwen out. And, maybe even get mad at her.
Okay, maybe that was what she was worried most about.
“If Jennifer didn’t want Gwen’s help in the kitchen, she would say so.” She arched a brow. “And, honey, if I didn’t want her hanging around the studio, I would’ve told you so.”
“Fine. I hear you.”
“If you do, I hope you hear what I’m about to tell you.”
“Which is?”
“You are so afraid of getting hurt that you keep everyone at a distance.”
Stung, she retorted, “I’m not afraid of getting hurt by Gwen Camp.”
“But maybe you’re afraid of getting hurt by Matt Rossi?” Before Traci could set her straight, Shannon said, “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with Gwen knowing you are taking dance lessons with the handsome doctor.”
“It’s out of convenience, Shannon.” Which wasn’t true at all.
After giving Traci an “I know what you’re saying, and it’s ridiculous” look, Shannon shrugged. “Gwen already knows the talented and very convenient Dr. Rossi, so there’s no veil of secrecy there. You need to calm down and stop looking for trouble where there ain’t none.”
Only hearing Shannon’s last three words made Traci backtrack. Shannon’s accent got thicker whenever she was upset or tired. No matter what, she didn’t want to be yet another source of distress for her sister. “Fine. Let’s go downstairs and dance.”
Shannon raised an eyebrow. “You want to dance the waltz looking like that?”
Traci looked down at her tennis shoes, leggings and oversized T-shirt. “What’s wrong with this?”
“You’re about to be waltzing Strauss. Go put on a skirt.”
“You have got to be kidding me.”
“I don’t kid about Strauss. Give the man respect, Lucky.”
“Fine. But if Matt makes fun of me, you get to tell him that you made me wear a dress.”
“I’ll happily tell him that.” She made a shooing motion with her hands. “Get going, girl! Matt will be here any minute.”
She pulled open the door. “Next thing you’re going to tell me is to put on heels, too.”
“I’m so glad you suggest that. Yes, put on heels, Traci,” she said sweetly. “Thank you. Thank you very much.”
Traci rolled her eyes at her sister’s giggles as she walked back upstairs to her new room that she shared with Kimber. Luckily, Kimber was still out of town so she wouldn’t be teasing her mercilessly when she borrowed a pair of her pumps.
* * *
Just as she reached the entryway, after carefully navigating down two flights of stairs in four-inch heels, the front door opened and Matt strode in. The moment he caught sight of her he drew to a stop.
And gaped.
Heat traipsed across her neck and shoulders—both of which were on display, thanks to the only dress she’d found that was comfortable enough and matched Kimber’s gorgeous black patent leather pumps. “Hi,” she said.
“Hi.” He kept staring as he walked toward her. “You look . . . you look . . .”
“Ridiculous?”
“Fabulous. Absolutely gorgeous.”
“Thanks. You look . . .”
He glanced down at his light green scrubs and Crocs. “Like I just got out of surgery?”
“You ran over here, didn’t you?”
“I didn’t want to be late.”
“Shannon would have understood if you had to cancel.”
“I wasn’t worried about upsetting your sister, Traci. I didn’t want to cancel on you.”
Making lemons out of lemonade, she smiled. “Actually, I’m really glad to see you dressed like that. Now I can go back upstairs and put on a pair of jeans. I told Shannon that I didn’t need to wear a dress and heels, but she was all like ‘You must respect Strauss.’ ”
“Strauss?”
“He’s some fancy, dead classical composer. We’re going to be waltzing to him tonight.”
“Would you do me a favor? Would you keep on that outfit even though we don’t exactly match?”
She raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“You’re a pretty woman in jeans or sweats or like I saw you the other night in pajama pants. You’re smart, and an incredibly able police officer. But, Traci Lucky, I think you look absolutely gorgeous right now.”
She was so touched by his words, she searched for something to say. “It’s the makeup . . . and Kimber’s shoes.”
“It’s you. So, do you mind keeping on that dress and heels even though it’s all probably not very comfortable?”
“I don’t mind at all.” Feeling sheepish, she added, “Honestly, it was kind of fun to get dressed up for a change. Plus, Shannon would kill me if I didn’t keep this dress on.”
“Good.” Looking just beyond her, he smiled. “Hey, Mrs. Lange. You’re looking lovely tonight as well.”
“Thank you, Dr. Rossi,” Shannon replied. “Shall we dance?”
He winked at Traci as they entered the studio. She followed him, shaking her head at Shannon’s corny saying that somehow always sounded better than it should.
But as soon as Matt spied Gwen sitting in the corner with a stack of papers on her lap, he stopped. “What’s going on, Gwen?”
Shannon raised her chin. “Gwen asked if she could help me, so I told her I’d love her help organizing some of my files. It’s easiest for her to be in here. You don’t mind, do you?”
Matt looked taken aback but smiled after a second. “Not at all.”
Noticing that Gwen looked uncomfortable, Traci said, “You had better be careful, Gwen. If you hang out in here too much, Shannon’s going to have you dancing before you know it.”
Gwen giggled. “I’d lo
ok like a moose trying to dance with this belly. I’ll stick to filing.”
“If we can learn to waltz, you could too, “Matt said. “Traci and I aren’t exactly the most graceful couple in Bridgeport.”
Before Traci could think of anything to say about that, Shannon put on the music.
“Okay, you two. Let’s get started. Get into position.”
Traci held out her left hand for Matt’s right, stepped closer when he circled her waist with his right, and remembered at the very last minute to stand up straight.
“There you go,” Matt murmured.
When he smiled at her, she could feel her breath catch.
And just for a second, nothing else mattered in the world. Nothing at all.
CHAPTER 33
“Life is like dancing. If we have a big floor, many
people will dance. Some will get angry when the
rhythm changes. But life is changing all the time.”
—Don Miguel Ruiz
Sitting in the corner of the studio, trying to be inconspicuous while she tried to take in every little moment of the lesson, Gwen felt something shift inside her. It was as if, until that moment, she’d only known one way to go, but now she realized that there were other roads it was possible to travel as well.
Though it was a little bit over the top, she felt like she’d been wandering through her life, simply trying to survive, but now she had a path to take. Somehow, some way, she wanted to one day be the woman dancing in this room.
Just hearing the music pour out of the speakers and seeing the graceful way Shannon carried herself made Gwen want to be a little more like that too.
“You doing okay over there, Gwen?” Shannon asked when Dr. Rossi and Officer Lucky were getting a sip of water.
“Hmm? Oh, yes.” She held up two sheets of paper. “I’m making progress.”
Shannon wore a puzzled expression as she approached. “You’ve had the sweetest look on your face while you’ve been watching Matt and Traci.”
“I’ve never seen two people learn to waltz before.”
Shannon smiled. “It’s not a dance for everyone, I know.”
Gwen knew she should leave it at that. If she didn’t try to explain herself, then no one would ever have to know how intrigued she was. But another part of her thought that it was time to stop being so safe. “Um, I was actually thinking that it looks fun.”
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