by Roach, D. A.
“We had no other choice. I’m sorry you didn’t have a say in it, but you were dying and we had no other option.”
“Why you? Why is it your blood and not Lena’s or Casper’s?”
“Because it’s my fault you are over here. I insisted it be my blood.”
Some part of me hoped he would say it was because he wanted to be bound to me, not because it was his fault for me being here. His coldness pissed me off. The tattoo hummed, drawing my attention to it.
“Lena, it’s red,” I called out to her.
Lena wheeled her seat to me and finally saw it was indeed red.
“Killian, let me see yours.” He obeyed and rolled up his long sleeved black tee. It was also red. “Bring it closer to Cassidy’s? I want to see if there is a reaction from them being close to each other.” He rolled his eyes but stepped closer. The tattoos began to fade to black. “Go back to where you were.” She watched his arm the whole time but it stayed black. “Do you feel it turn colors, Killian?”
“Sometimes.”
“Does it hurt?” Casper inquired.
“No,” said Killian at the same time as I answered, “Sometimes.”
“Do you both change at the same time, like your tats are dependent on each other? Or can it happen independently?” she asked. But neither of us answered; we didn’t know.
Lena pondered this, drumming her fingers against her chin. “Let’s get Angeline’s take on this.” She summoned the Caster by writing something on a special kind of paper, then crumpling it in her hands tightly; the paper crumbled in her hands into a fine dust. Angeline walked into the med unit a minute later and Lena briefed her on the situation. “Any thoughts?”
“Not yet. I’d like to see it happen.”
“Well, Cassidy heads home in the morning,” Killian reminded. “Not much time left for that.”
Lena looked at me with sympathy.
I still needed to talk with Killian, try to win him over and let me stay. “Killian, could we eat together? Maybe lunch?”
Killian looked at Casper before answering, searching for some kind of reaction. Casper didn’t grant him any. “Sure. I can’t do lunch, but I can do dinner. Come by my room when you are ready to eat.”
He ran so hot and cold, which made it impossible to know whether he cared for me or was annoyed by me. There were definite moments where he showed care and concern for me, by assigning others to watch over me, lingering glances, and especially that kiss. There was so much emotion in it; he seemed so vulnerable. And although my memories of being unconscious were muddled, there were moments of Killian caring for me, his gentle touches, his fingers combing through my hair, him just talking to me softly.
But there were also moments, like this one, where he couldn’t seem to get rid of me fast enough.
Chapter Thirteen
To my delight, Casper took me sparring again. Jackson remarked that I improved, and despite him “going easy” on me, he landed several good jabs. But I managed to get his stick away and make contact with him a few times. Then Casper let me attempt sparring with him. He was unbeatable. Every. Single. Move. He dodged. Casper didn’t punch me; instead, he lightly tapped the part of the body to indicate a strike. I was thankful because he tapped me so many times I was sure I’d have spent a week in the med unit if they were true punches.
After sparring, we thanked Jackson and walked out. “I need a little time to gather my thoughts before I have dinner with Killian. I’m gonna try to convince him to let me stay.”
“Good luck.”
“Thanks, Casper. I’ll catch up with you later.”
“See ya, Cass.” He gave me his warm smile as he left.
The room I slept in was pretty bare. Rock walls and floor, a throw rug, a small bed, a small loveseat, one dresser with a mirror, and a small bathroom. Yet, it was enough. I’d trade everything back home for this bare room, because the companionship, the laughing, hugging, and feeling cared for—that was hard to live without.
Could I go home and try to find a path in life? Probably. So why did it feel so hard to leave? What was so special about the Clan?
It seemed pointless to return to the old farmhouse, to a life of mundane tasks. Did dusting, mopping, and pulling weeds have anything to do with the grand scheme of things? My life back home had no purpose…yes, that was it. More than pushing away the loneliness, being a part of the Clan gave me a sense of purpose. Everyone here worked to better the Clan and make it be a strong front against demons—in training, care-taking, leading, fighting, harvesting—they worked together, and that is what I longed to be a part of. Going home tomorrow would push me off course, and I’d be lost again, searching for a purpose. I couldn’t leave.
I lost track of time as I came up with and discarded about a hundred arguments, pleas, and other things I could say to Killian to make him change his mind and let me stay. Or at least to open up to me about how he really felt. Everything I thought of sounded wrong or would probably just piss him off more somehow.
A knock at my door startled me out of my thoughts. I looked at the clock. Crap. It was just about dinner time. That probably was an already pissed-off Killian thinking I was standing him up.
I hopped off the bed and opened my door. “Lena.” She did not look well. Her skin was pale and moist with sweat as she leaned on her crutches. “What’s going on?”
“I need your help. On my leg.”
“Why me?”
“I don’t want Killian to see me this way, and Angeline is fortifying the gates since you are crossing over tomorrow. Please?”
I couldn’t say no to her. She looked like she was on death’s door. “All right. Are you okay to get back to the med unit?”
She nodded but held her breath to get through the wave of pain that came over her. I put my arm on the small of her back as she adjusted her grip on the crutches. Her skin felt hot even through her shirt. “You have a fever.”
She nodded.
Killian would kill me if he knew I helped hide the seriousness of his sister’s condition. We arrived at the medical unit, where the dimmed lamps cast a soft glow on the room. Lena told me to bring one over to the exam bed. She climbed onto the bed and brightened the lamp. I gathered the materials she’d had me use last time and brought them over to the bed. She pulled up her skirt. The yellow-tinged bandage foreshadowed the severity of the wound. Lena did not need to see the horror on my face; she needed me to be brave. The tweezers helped free the bandage that seemed glued to her skin. My hands shook, and I had to hold my breath to keep from throwing up. This was not my kind of work.
The wound smelled of death and decay. The ulcer had shrunk, but the skin surrounding it looked worse, rimmed with red inflammation. Her flesh was hot and tight from the swelling, and far outside the ring drawn around the wound. “This is really bad, Lena. I’m not sure I can fix this. I think you need some stronger drugs.”
“You have to try, Cassidy, please.” She looked desperate, and I owed her for saving my life.
“Okay. Walk me through it.”
“Use the scalpel to open the wound. You want to create an exit for the infection so don’t go too deep. We want it to drain out, not get into my blood. Have some gauze ready to absorb whatever comes out.”
Using the scalpel, I opened the wound and held clean gauze close to absorb any drainage. Yellow pus seeped out of the cut I had made, making my stomach roll.
“Oh…ugh…” My mouth rebelled and complained. My fingers pushed on the hot skin, forcing more pus through the hole. Lena breathed in and pinched her eyes shut in pain. She’d have to suck it up while I finished milking the wound. I threw the soiled gauze on the ground and grabbed a new one. The painful process was repeated until no more came out. After five minutes of working on it, I washed the wound and skin with the soapy water, dried it, applied fresh ointment, and wrapped it with fresh gauze. “I need the orange and blue elixirs now,” Lena instructed.
I brought all the dirty items to the washbasin and scr
ubbed my hands clean before locating the elixirs along the wall. “You need to rest. If you dim the lights, no one will think to come in and disturb you. They probably won’t even notice you’re here.”
The blanket that brought me warmth and comfort as I recuperated was folded neatly on the bed in the back of the unit.
“Here, lie back, and I’ll dim the lights.” I unfolded the blanket and tucked it around her. “I’m having dinner with Killian soon, but I’ll come check on you when I’m done. For now, rest.”
“Thanks, Cassidy. I see why Killian likes you.”
Her words stunned me. I thought I’d felt that affection when he kissed me, but since then, I’d begun to doubt that he wanted anything more with me. Lena said nothing more. I turned to see her eyes shut. Questions came to mind that begged to be answered, such as “Did he tell you that?” but she needed her rest, and I was beyond late to meet Killian.
The corridors were mostly empty, so I ran to Killian’s room. His tall, muscular frame leaned against his door with his back to me. He was talking to the guy who’d helped bandage me when I’d first crossed. He looked so much like Killian—same build, same height, clean cut dark hair—they could be brothers. My steps slowed as I snuck up beside Killian and leaned against him in greeting. I was curious how he’d react.
“Sounds good. Oh, Cassidy, have you met Sean?” Killian’s arm wrapped around my waist, holding me against him gently.
I stretched out my arm to shake. I hadn’t pissed him off; that was a good start. But I was torn between enjoying his arm around me and worried he would turn into cold, “can’t wait for you to leave” Killian the second I left myself vulnerable.
Sean raised an eyebrow at us together, like we were. “So, she’s joining the Clan?” Sean held my hand as he traced my tat.
“No. It’s a long story. She’s headed back to the Human Realm tomorrow.” Sean nodded, but he looked curious for the story. “Later, Sean, get some rest.”
With Sean gone, Killian turned toward me and smiled. “I’m glad you asked to eat with me. We’re a bit late so there may not be much of a selection. Ready?”
“Yes. Let’s go.” We walked down to the dining hall. The room was quiet with just a handful of people. Killian motioned for me to go first through the food line. He was right. The selection was picked over, but we both were able to fill our plates with plenty of food. Killian sat across from me and began eating.
“Well, the only bad part of catching the tail end of dinner is getting the small bony pieces.” He chuckled as he pulled some meat off a small bone. “We’ll have to work for our dinner tonight, Cass.”
I knew better than to ask what kind of creature or animal we were dining upon; I’d probably never heard of it before anyway. There was very little meat on each bone, but it tasted delicious, like a well-seasoned pork, and was worth the effort.
“How are you feeling?” he asked.
“Much better, thank you.”
He nodded.
Taking a deep breath, I decided now was my chance for the talk. “Listen, I wanted to talk to you about the crossover.”
“Are you nervous?” He took a bite of bread.
I shook my head slightly from side to side.
“Good. You’ll be fine. You are strong, you have my healing blood in you, and Angeline will help on our end. It should be easy.”
Crossing over was not my worry. I was silent.
“Cass, what is it?” He stopped eating and looked at me intensely.
My nerves had kicked in and my words were fleeing. “I want to stay.” Short and to the point would have to do.
He looked at me for a moment before speaking. “No. You need to be home.” He shook his head. “I can’t have you here, in this realm, when the battle starts.”
“Killian, go home to what?”
“You have a nice home. You can start over. I don’t want you to be a part of this.”
A frightening-looking guy walked quickly up to our table. He was covered in tattoos, including his neck and head, with noticeable scars along his arms and face. He was even taller and more muscular than Jackson, with an even scarier face twisted with the scars. “Sir, Angeline needs a squad at the binding chamber.”
“Crap. Anchor, assemble the others and I’ll meet you at the Center. Cassidy, I have to go. Crossover is after morning meal. That’s the end of it.” Killian took off, leaving his plate and cup.
The chance to convince him to let me stay had passed, and that cold finality had returned to his tone. I dropped my fork, no longer interested in the food in front of me. Should I follow after him? Try harder? The binding room was where they kept the demons; was I ready to face something like that or would I only end up pissing off Killian even more, ensuring that he forced me out? His empty seat reminded me that in about thirteen hours, I would be alone in the Human Realm, staring at empty seats in a big house. My feet trudged as I carried our plates to the washbasin.
On the way to my room, I checked on Lena. She was fast asleep, still hot with fever, but her bandage looked clean. Hopefully she would begin to improve. Lena was beautiful with her milk white skin and fire red hair. She was slightly taller than me with curves in the right places. She resembled Killian with her eyes and full lips. But her feistiness and kindness really made her captivating.
“Goodbye, Lena.” Tomorrow was the crossover, and I might not have a chance to see her before Killian shoved me out the gate. “Thank you.”
The walk to my room went fast. All this loss was wearing on me and I wasn’t sure I could take much more. My bed welcomed my tired body and I fell asleep before my thoughts got too far away from me.
***
In the morning, I awoke, cleaned up, and got dressed. The girl looking back at me in the mirror—Cassidy Kavanaugh, Midwest Nobody. What would I do back home? Get a job, go back to school, and take up a martial art to continue sparring? My future was wide open like Killian said, but the idea of exploring the possibilities did not excite me.
Casper joined me at breakfast. “I’m gonna miss you, kid.”
“Me too. Hey, how will I know how the upcoming battle went?”
“Well, if it doesn’t go well, there will be a lot more demons on your end. But let’s hope that doesn’t happen.” Casper laughed. “I guess if it goes well, I’ll have to find a way to let you know.”
“Thanks for everything, Casper. You’ve been amazing. Oh, here’s your book back. I didn’t have time finish it.” His copy of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy was worn and loved. I slid it across the table to him.
“No, keep it. You need to finish it, it’s a great story.” He slid it back to me.
“Are you sure? I’d hate for you not to have it.”
“I’m sure.”
I leaned over the table and gave him a hug. After cleaning our plates, he walked me to the Center, the large room, I’d learned, that crossed Clan members to gates throughout the two realms, his arm draped casually across my shoulders as we made our way down the hall.
“Well, here we are.” He took his arm off me and entered behind me.
The Center was dimly lit with candles along the wall. Jackson, Killian, Angeline, and Lena stood staggered around the room perimeter. Lena still looked pale and pained, but if she was getting better, it would probably be a few days before she perked up.
“Cassidy, good to see you. Step into the circle please,” Angeline instructed.
Casper hugged me one last time then stepped back to the wall. A circle of white crystal powder, possibly salt, marked the floor in front of Angeline. Angeline took a step toward me and looked into my eyes. “Are you ready, Cassidy?” The candlelight illuminated her striking features.
“No. I’m not.”
Angeline’s face fell and she looked to Killian.
“I want to stay and fight. I know you could use the help and I’m willing to work hard and train.”
Killian stepped before me. “Cass, I know you would work hard to train and bravely fi
ght with us. I saw you in action in the cemetery. But time is not on our side, and there’s not enough of it to allow you to train for a battle. I’m sorry, but I need you safe at home and away from the gates.” He pulled me toward him and kissed my forehead. “You’ll be okay,” he said quietly.
Tears fell from my eyes as I accepted my departure.
Angeline took the place of Killian and dabbed her forefinger on an amber bottle. She rubbed woody-scented oils in symbols on my arms and forehead. My skin tingled beneath her touch—from her energy or the oils or both. “Hmm, good, now you are ready. We won’t be needing that, Killian.” My eyes looked toward the side of the room where Killian set down the needle gun they’d used last time. Our eyes did not meet. “Now, close your eyes and lose yourself…here, in your mind.” She rubbed the center of my forehead with gentle circles. “Go where your thoughts take you, and let your body become feather light, carrying you on your journey.”
Her voice faded as darkness consumed me. My limbs disappeared from my body. I was light as a feather floating down, down…down…
Chapter Fourteen
The first week back wasn’t terrible. I was busy. Bills needed to be paid, bushes trimmed, but the worst was cleaning out what food had gone bad. Once I disinfected the fridge, I hit Dominick’s to restock. Filling my cart with fruit, dairy, a bit of protein, and enough starches to feed ten grown men, I made my way to checkout.
“Welcome to Dominick’s, hope you found everything you were looking for.”
No way. “God, don’t they give you a day off?” I muttered to myself, but of course Ashley heard.
“I just had one last week. Hey, how was the Toasting Party at Mr. Sentry’s?”
“Awesome.” Blowing her off, I loaded my groceries on the belt.
“Really? I didn’t see you there, in fact I didn’t see anyone there—and I was there from six till midnight.” She looked at the belt and picked up a loaf of bread. “Are you gonna try again?” She looked excited that I might actually go through with it. Did she really stake out the principal’s house for six hours because of a silly made-up story?