by Avril Ashton
Punishment. All his. He took it then tore himself away, breathing furiously, quick, loud pants. Her lips curved, but he ignored that, using a hand on the back of her neck to ram her right back onto Reggie. Face first, in his crotch. She sucked him back in and Reggie closed his eyes, nostrils wide, hands fisted. He wasn’t touching Tawnya anymore. His hands were down at his sides, his thighs spread wide.
A defeated look.
Is wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and glanced away.
What the fuck was happening? What were they doing?
“Condoms?” Tawnya spoke, husky with her own arousal. “Get us the condoms, Israel.”
He turned back to find her pulling off her panties, getting ready to straddle Reggie. She was face to face with him, lips parted as if about to kiss him. Hell fucking… “No.” He sprang to his feet and grabbed her arm. “You gotta go.”
She gaped at him, frozen in place with one leg thrown over a still Reggie. “Wha—”
“Mi nuh inna no long talk, Tawnya.” Is picked up her panties off the floor hand threw them in her face. “Out.”
“But, Israel—”
He pulled the gun from the small of his back and dropped to his knees next to her, bringing the .45 to her temple. She froze.
“I will shoot you,” he whispered. “And I will love it.”
“Is.”
“I have no problems shooting you,” he snarled. “None.” His hands shook so fucking bad, and he couldn’t see straight, but he would shoot her. No problem. No regret. He’d shoot her if she didn’t shut up, if she didn’t leave, if she didn’t get away from Reggie. Blood was rushing in his ears, as loud as the ocean. Tawnya’s eyes were red, wet, full of fear. He wanted that fear, wanted to fucking bathe in it.
“Is, man.” Reggie was speaking. “Put that shit down.”
But he couldn’t. Why? She’d touched Reggie and Is couldn’t stand it, couldn’t condone it. “Get out,” he said through gritted teeth. “Right the fuck now.”
He didn’t wait to see if she complied. He jumped up and turned away, stalking into the kitchen. He tossed the gun onto the countertop without even looking. Breathing was a struggle and he sagged into the fridge, using the appliance to help him stay on his feet. His throat burned and the hand he brought up to steady his balance shook.
A door slammed. The front door. He stepped back and opened the fridge, taking out a beer. He needed— Fuck, Is didn’t know what he needed, but what just happened out there wasn’t it. It was the opposite.
“What the fuck was that?”
He didn’t turn around, although he did stiffen at Reggie’s angry shout. “What was what?”
“You son of a bitch.” Reggie yanked him around with a tight grasp on his shoulder. The Corona slipped from between Is’ uncooperative fingers, crashing to the floor in a splash of white froth and shattered glass. Reggie’s face was red, eyes blazing with anger and all kinds of shit Is didn’t need to witness right then. “What’s your problem, Is?”
“You,” the word exploded from Is. “My problem is you. Get the fuck outta here.”
He tried to turn, but Reggie didn’t let him. “What did I do? Huh? Except say yes to what you and your woman wanted.”
“She’s not my fucking woman and you know it.” Is pushed him back, one hand on Reggie’s chest. “You should be glad I ended it when I did. You should fucking thank me. I know you weren’t into it.”
Reggie dropped his hand and cocked his head, gaze narrowing. “But you were into it, weren’t you, Is?”
“Shut your fucking mouth.” Is glared at him, rage shaking him from the inside out. “I don’t play that shit.”
Reggie grinned. “Oh, but you do,” he said softly, creeping closer. He was hard, Is saw that huge fucking bulge barely covered up by the jeans that were zipped, but unbuttoned. “You do play that.”
Is flinched, even though he didn’t mean to. Even though they were just words, but they hit their target dead on.
“How did I taste?” Reggie asked.
Is’ body spasmed.
“She might not have caught on, but I did, so tell me.” Power and danger glinted in Reggie’s eyes. “Did you like it? How did I taste?”
So good. Is’ lips parted. He panted, gulping breath like a fish on a hook. So fucking good.
“Were you wishing you were the one between my knees, Is?” Reggie came in closer until their thighs brushed, until Is noted his dilated pupils. “Were you wishing you were the one getting their throat fucked, the one touching me, the one biting me?”
Panic brought cold sweat to Is’ brow and underarms. He kept eye contact with Reggie, schooling his face into what he hoped was a smooth façade as he spat, “No.”
“Liar.” Reggie leaned in, brushing their noses together. “You’re a fucking liar, Is.” His arms came up, caging Is in against the fridge. “You know I want you, Is.” He rubbed his stubbled jaw over Is’ cheek. “And I know you want me right back.”
He had to grit his teeth and bite his tongue to keep himself from reacting, from rubbing back. “You know nothing, rude boy.”
“I know enough.” Reggie’s rasp was loud and echoing in Is’ ear. “I know enough to know you loved it, my taste, sucking it right off that chick’s tongue. I know enough to know you want more.” He made a sound, half pain, half pleasure. “I know you were jealous of Ilana because she got to have me,” Reggie whispered. “That’s why you got so fucking drunk that night, that’s what you were confessing to, wanting what Ilana had. Me.”
“No.” He was stuck on stupid, repeating the same damn words. “No.” But there was no heat, no vehemence, just the empty words falling between them, mocking.
“Yes.” Reggie moved, lips skating across Is’ jaw to the corner of his mouth. “Is. Yes. You’re see-through, Is.” Rough fingers touched Is’ naked chest, tentative, but…God. “Fucking see-through right now. I can see everything.” And then Is’ brain was slowing down, short-circuiting, because Reggie kissed him. Lips over his, soft but firm, kissing him.
He sucked in air, stiffening, limbs locked in cold fear and hot, desperate arousal. His lips parted on a gasp and Reggie swamped him, dove in with a low grunt. Is couldn’t respond, couldn’t think beyond a man was kissing him, his friend. Reggie was kissing him, tongue swiping over Is’ teeth and gums.
The movement yanked him out of his frozen state and Is grabbed Reggie, one hand around his waist. To keep his balance. Sure. But he held Reggie, who sidled in even closer, tongue probing. He was warm, slick, smelling a little like Tawnya’s perfume which, fucking God, Is needed to get that scent off of Reggie. He unstuck his tongue from the roof of his mouth, gave it to Reggie, and the other man made a loud, startled groan, hips bucking, erection bumping against Is.
The shaking started at Is’ toes and climbed higher and higher, getting more pronounced, like an all-body earthquake. He clutched Reggie, finally, fully tasting him.
So good. So fucking good.
Reggie’s tongue curled around him, rough, drawing shivers. He wanted it, wanted more, wanted it all.
Reggie was the one to stop, to lift his mouth a few inches off Is’ long enough to grab his jaw, hold him fast and tight. Is had nothing, no strength. There was no want like this fire, no need like the one consuming him, eating him alive right then.
“All the denials, Is. When you want it,” Reggie murmured. He bucked into Is, hips and hard cocks aligned. “Doesn’t matter what you say, ’cause when you touch me, when you look at me, I know.”
“Reg.” How was he able to speak? Why was he still standing when he couldn’t feel his legs?
“That’s why I stay around.” Reggie’s breath hitched, burning Is’ chin. “Even though it hurts. Even though you kill me every time.” His fingers dug into Is’ forearms, sharp, painful. Is didn’t mind it. “It’s the worst kinda pain and I can’t leave.” He pushed Is’ head back, meeting his gaze.
“Oh God, Reg.” Is touched him, anything to ease the ache, to wipe the
agony away. “Reg.”
“Let me go,” Reggie begged, and Is didn’t think he meant physically. He didn’t think Reggie meant the way Is clung to him as if he were Is’ only hope to remain upright.
“No.” He couldn’t lose Reggie.
“I’m in too fucking deep.” The words were mournful, filled with regret and everything that lined Reggie’s face and brimmed in his eyes. “I can’t walk away, so you do it. Take me all the way, or release me.”
“Don’t. Don’t ask me—”
“You let go, and I’ll let go, too.”
“No.” He couldn’t. He wouldn’t. Not any of those two options. Never.
Reggie’s mouth was back, on Is’ chin, lips trembling against him. Begging. Pleading “Release me, Is.”
It was the worse kind of pain, Reggie was right. Is had no idea how to heal them both, not really, but he closed the small gap, touched his mouth to Reggie’s.
This one was an attack. Reggie was the predator, Is his prey. The kiss was hard and fast and everything. Is hung on, eyes closed tight as Reggie shut it down, shut him down, with his tongue in Is’s mouth, their breath mixing.
Taste, they all blended into one drunken mix, yanking away his equilibrium. He gave in, gave up, gave himself. Just a little bit. Only for a little while. It cracked him, this kiss, Reggie’s dominance of his mouth, the fingers holding him securely.
They cracked him.
So wrong. Oh God. He clawed at Reggie. This was so fucking wrong, and he wanted to ignore that in favor of falling mouth first into all that promise Reggie’s tongue hinted at. But he couldn’t.
Please. Please. The strength. He needed to find the strength to break it off, to step back. The thought of it hurt his head, hurt his throat, hurt his heart. A pained sound burst from him. Reggie swallowed it then went still before slowly, agonizingly, pulling away.
Their lips made a sound, a loud, wet smacking sound as they parted. Reggie stared a him, lips so wet, eyes so heavy.
“Is.” Reggie reached for him, but Is shook his head.
“No,” he rasped. “Reggie. No. I can’t—”
Reggie’s face crumpled, bit by bit, before he caught himself. He sniffed and swallowed.
“Step back.” Is’ throat was raw, his voice battered, but he mustered up some steel from deep inside. “Step back, rude boy.”
Reggie hesitated, searching his gaze, but he did it. He stepped back, giving Is some room to breathe.
“I’m not sorry, don’t fucking ask me to apologize for taking what we both know you’ve been aching to give.”
Is shook his head, rubbing his temple. “Reggie.” God. He didn’t get it. How did Is make him get it? It wasn’t about them, about Reggie being a man when Is very much liked the other option. It was about more, way more than that, and if Reggie couldn’t see it, Is wasn’t about to explain. Not when he’d already done it the night they met.
“Please. Is.” Reggie touched Is’ wrist. “Don’t tell me no. Don’t turn away.”
Is stared down at Reggie’s fingers on his skin. “I have to.” He cleared the cobwebs from his burning throat. “I have to.” He choked. His chest felt as if he’d been hit, taken a bullet. Excruciating pain. “I’m sorry.”
Fury flashed in Reggie’s eye and across his face. “You’re a fucking liar, Is.”
“Fuck you.” Is turned away.
Reggie grabbed his shoulder. “You can do it. Is, you can. Because I want it.” He lifted his chin, eyes red. “I want you. I can say it out loud. I want you. Like you want me.”
“I don’t. You wanted me to release you.” He took a breath. Stiffened his spine. Called forth the most devastating words. “I’m releasing you, Reggie. We’re done.” He didn’t mean them, would never mean them, but fuck, they drilled through Is’ chest.
And the ravaged pain that swept over Reggie’s face in waves took Is’ heart. He tried to shake free of Reggie’s hold, but the other man refused to budge.
“Don’t lie to me. Don’t fucking say you don’t want my cock in your mouth and yours in mine, don’t say you don’t want my kisses when you just stole them like they belong only to you. Don’t pretend my touch doesn’t affect you, because I can see it, Is. And I can feel it.” He released Is’ hand and cupped his crotch. Squeezed Is’ erection and Is reacted, throwing a punch.
He caught Reggie at the side of the head. He flew backward, and Is found himself standing over his best friend sprawled out on his kitchen floor, unconscious, blood trickling from his nose.
Chapter Eleven
Took Reggie three tries before he managed to lift his lashes. When he did, he really wished he hadn’t. His vision swam and the sharp pain in his head knocked the breath from his lungs.
Fuck. He groaned and rushed footsteps headed his way.
“Yo, Reggie.”
He frowned when he recognized Teo’s voice. “Teo?” He gingerly turned his head in the direction of Teo’s voice then opened his eyes again.
Images wavered then Teo was there, peering down at him, concern in his eyes.
“Damn, son.”
“Wha—” Reggie licked his dry lips. “Where am I?”
“Hospital. Got yourself a good knock on the head.” Teo frowned. “What happened?”
What happened? Reggie stared up him, trying to gather his thoughts. “I—” He’d been with Is. They were arguing and he— “He kissed me back.” He grabbed Teo’s hand, clutched it tight as he grinned even though his head hurt like a son of a bitch. “He kissed me back.” He tried to sit up, but vertigo wasn’t allowing it.
“Whoa. Whoa.” Teo held up a hand. “Who is ‘he’?” He used quotation marks. “And why are you kissing ‘him’?”
Reggie took a deep breath. “How did you know I was here?”
“Is called me.” Teo scowled. “He just told me you were here and I should come. What the fuck is going on, Reggie?”
Reggie grinned. Oh, my God. His heart beat so fucking fast, he couldn’t stand it. “I kissed Is, and he kissed me back then he punched me and here I am.”
Teo looked stunned. He grabbed a nearby chair and dragged it over to Reggie’s bedside and plopped down into it. “What the fuck do you mean you kissed Is? Are you suicidal?” He held up a finger before Reggie could speak. “Matter fact, since when do you go around kissing any man?”
“Fuck, Teo. I don’t.” Reggie shook his head then winced. “I mean I didn’t, you know me. You know what I like. Who I like.”
“Yeah.” Teo nodded. “So tell me, what’s changed?”
“I don’t know, man. It’s just…” He couldn’t explain it, not even to himself. “One day I just found myself wanting to touch Is, you know? Wanting to kiss him. Fuck.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “Scared me, not gonna lie. And sometimes I’d think I saw it in Is’ eyes. Him wanting what I want.”
Teo blinked. “My Is? You sure?”
Reggie understood the disbelief in Teo’s voice. “Your Is. We want the same thing, Teo. Today proved that. I kissed him and he kissed me back.”
“But then he floored you.” Teo lifted a brow.
Well… “Yeah.”
“He put you in the fucking hospital, Reg. Doesn’t sound like the actions of a man who wants what you want.”
“It scares him, Teo.” Reggie forced a chuckle. “God. Truth is, it scares me, too. What I look like, wanting my best friend in that way?”
“Jesus.” Teo shook his head. “When you fuck up, you really fuck up, yeah?” He leaned over to Reggie. “What do you expect to happen, Reg? You think he’ll accept it and what, you two will make a nice little family? While he leads the gang? How long before they—his employees and associates—find out? How long before they kill him?”
Reggie’s heart stuttered. “Teo—”
“Because even if you try to ignore it, the reality doesn’t change.” Teo’s tone was kind, but no less chilling. “Many of his contacts are still back in Jamaica, Reg. Don’t let the positive shit that’s happening over here f
ool you, because for men like us, things aren’t that nice back there. You know this.”
Reggie nodded, numb.
Teo sighed. “Forget that for a second and think about the men who work for him here, who are all exclusively Jamaican. If they find out, that’s it. It’s over for him.” He patted Reggie’s knee. “Don’t get your hopes up. I care about you both as brothers, and if you feel like you say you feel, I know that shit isn’t gonna go away. I know, but think,” he tapped his temple. “Realize why he might not react the way you want him to.”
The curtain to Reggie’s little room swished aside and a nurse came in, clipboard in hand, staying any words Reggie might have spoken. Which, truthfully, were none.
* * * *
He was diagnosed with a concussion and given some meds for the pain and nausea. The doctor wanted to run a scan on his brain so Reggie wasn’t leaving the hospital for a while yet. He had Teo call his mother with a bogus excuse for why he wouldn’t be coming around for dinner. He didn’t tell her he was in the hospital. He couldn’t deal with her concern or questions.
The drugs put him to sleep and when he woke up again, it was turning dark, judging from the small window in his room. A figure was in there with him, head bowed, hands shoved into is pockets.
Reggie’s heart rate kicked up. “Is.”
Is’ head jerked up and he hesitated before striding over to Reggie. “You okay?” His dark eyes bored into Reggie’s.
“Getting there.” Reggie gazed up at him.
Is’ mouth tightened. “I shouldn’t have— I’m sorry.”
Reggie closed his eyes briefly then reopened them. “For what? Why are you sorry?” he whispered.
“For hitting you.” Is jerked his chin. “For hurting you. I— It shouldn’t have happened.”