“I know,” I said. “I understand.”
So, we were married without fanfare. Still, it felt good to be Mrs. Sloane. Or Mrs. Pushkin, if I thought wryly. Asher had legally changed his name, though, when he got to America, so I was Mrs. Sloane and not Mrs. Pushkin.
Chapter Thirty-One
We spent the rest of the week seeing London with Natalia. I was starting to get to know my sister-in-law, and I really liked her. She was somewhat upset that she wasn’t going to be able to bring her girlfriend back to America with her, but Asher assured her that finding somebody else wasn’t going to be a problem for her.
“I hope you are right Alexei,” she said. “I know that there are more crabs in the ocean, but I really like Svetlana.”
Asher smiled. “Fish in the sea.”
“Right,” she said, and wrote that down in her book.
“Do you actually read through what you write down in that book?” I asked her. I was curious as to whether her little book actually helped her.
“Of course,” she said. “I write down everything and study it every single day. I am getting better and better with those slang expressions.”
“Well,” I said to her. “Asher is right. You won’t have any problems finding a new girlfriend once you get to the states.”
I knew that what I was saying was true. Natalia was a knock-out and was very outgoing. She would have a new relationship in no time.
“I know that you are right, but I am sad. Sad, yet happy to finally be going to America.” Then she turned to Asher. “When will our father find out the truth about his health?”
“As soon as you’re in America and safely working for me. We can’t afford for him to know sooner than that. So, the quicker we get back there, the better off he will be.”
Natalia gave Asher a spontaneous hug. “Thank you, Alexei, for saving me.”
Asher had tears in his eyes. “I’m happy that I finally could. I love you, you know.”
“I love you, too.”
Then Asher laughed. “Okay, so, since you love me, I have to ask you one important thing.”
“What is that?”
“Forget the name Alexei. I’m Asher. That’s my legal name, and it has been for about 11 years.”
“Of course,” she said. “Maybe I should have an America name, too?”
“Natalia is a beautiful name,” I told her. “You should definitely keep it.”
She shrugged. “I guess so. Maybe Alexei, I mean Asher, doesn’t want his sister seeming so Russian though. Maybe he wants me to pass as American too.”
Asher put his arm around her. “Natalia, it doesn’t matter. Once people get wind of who you are, there’s going to be some digging. I’m fully prepared for it. There’s going to be some fallout, I know this. But I’m willing, this time, to take my chances with that. Let the media drag me through the mud. I know that it will finally happen. I’m surprised that it hasn’t happened before now.”
We all hugged spontaneously, and Asher made plans for us to go home on his private plane the next day. We had spent the week seeing the sights of London, and I was ready to go home. So was Asher, and Natalia was extremely excited about finally moving to America. For her, America was freedom, and I couldn’t be happier for her.
Yet, we knew that we faced some real challenges when we finally got back to America. Asher and I still weren’t pregnant, and that scared me to death. And Asher was right about another thing – the media was going to dig into his past, now that he had a Russian sister in his midst. I internally braced myself for the fallout from that. The blowback could be considerable, and I was really afraid that the whole world was soon going to find out his past. That could have some severe ramifications. And, there was also the small matter of Sophie’s baby, which was still going to be legally Asher’s. I hated that Sophie was pregnant and she was forcing Asher to take responsibility, yet I knew that Asher had no choice. His father was holding his feet to the fire.
Yes, there would be challenges when we got back to America. But Asher and I were married and happy for once. I knew that our happiness might very well be shattered once reality set in at home.
But that was going to be another day. For now, we had each other, Asher had his sister back, and we were really happy.
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CJ
On the way home on Asher’s plane, I couldn’t do much of anything but worry and think about what was about to happen to all of us. Asher and Natalia were playing cards, talking in Russian, and laughing. I hung back and pretended to read a book, but, really, my mind was racing. I couldn’t believe that the two of them could seem so relaxed, but they clearly were having a good time together.
Then again, maybe Asher was more worried than he let on. He didn’t seem like it, but I had known him to have a poker face on more than one occasion. He probably was freaking out, like I was, but not showing it because he didn’t want Natalia knowing how he felt. I secretly hoped that this was the case, because it frankly bothered me that he didn’t seem to be concerned about what was going to happen once we landed. Maybe he wasn’t thinking about the implications of my not getting pregnant. Or the fallout that was going to happen once Asher introduced Natalia as his sister. He was finally ready to come clean on his past, although he wasn’t going to volunteer information. Yet I knew, as did he, that his past was going to come to light. As soon as he made the decision to quit running from it, he opened himself up for some serious interrogation.
“CJ, why don’t you come and join us?” Asher asked me. “We’re playing spades over here. I can teach you how if you don’t already know.”
I shook my head. “No, I’m okay over here. I’m really engrossed in this book.” I really wasn’t engrossed in the book, but I didn’t want to join them. They seemed to be having too much fun amongst themselves. I suddenly remembered, anew, that they were twins, so of course they were close. I would imagine that anybody who were exactly the same age and went through what these two went through together would be very close. I thought back on how Asher told me that it was just the two of them against the world at one point. Then they had that falling out because Asher had the chance to save her from her mob job and didn’t because of his ow selfish reasons. Now, apparently, all was forgiven and they seemed to be as thick as thieves.
I smiled at the chance to teach Natalia another colloquialism, so I said “you guys are as thick as thieves.”
Natalia looked at me quizzically. “Thick as thieves? I do not understand. Not all thieves are fat. In fact, most of the thieves I know are quite thin. I do not understand that that means.”
Come to think of it, I didn’t really know why people said that particular saying myself. I quickly Googled it, and, of course, I found out that the term “thick” in this case just meant close. I imagined that was a somewhat antiquated meaning for that particular word. No wonder non-English speakers have so many problems with learning this language well – I would imagine that learning the idioms would be a complicated task indeed. “According to Google, thick as thieves just refers to the fact that criminals would have to be close so that they don’t rat each other out. And thick, in this case means close.”
At that, Natalia wrote the phrase down in her book and smiled. “Thick as thieves. I guess that is a good saying for Alexei and me. We have both been thieves at one time.”
Asher rose his eyebrows at her and dealed the cards. “I would say to keep that secret, Natalia, the fact that we were thieves. But I think that’s a fruitless thing. I might as well just give my media contact the true story of my background now. It’s just as well…I’m t
ired of hiding it. I don’t think that I can ever come to terms with who I really am unless I can actually live my life authentically.” Then he shrugged. “I’m in a position now that I think that I can probably survive this controversy. At least, I hope so.”
I personally thought that he was taking the entire thing too lightly, but I didn’t want to say as much to him. I was bracing for there being some severe fallout once the media got ahold of the story. I even wondered if the entire thing would cause him to have to answer his charges in Russia. Maybe they had left him alone because he was living life on the down-low, but,, now that he was going to be “coming out of the closet” so to speak, he might get into trouble with the Russian government.
Asher suddenly seemed to have an idea. “Why don’t I give the story of my life to you? I was going to give the story to one of my media contacts over at The Times, but I should just give the story to you. It could make your career.”
I smiled. That was Asher, always thinking of me and how he could help me out. He was right about one thing – giving his story could certainly be my big break. Asher was well-known and popular. When the public found out that he was also shady, at least he was in his past – that was going to be huge.
“That would be wonderful, Asher, but….”
He shook his head. “Actually, the more I think about it, the better it sounds. I could control this story if you write it.”
“Asher, you might be able to control what details come out about your life if I’m the one who writes the story. But once that horse is out of the barn, there will be no putting it back. The other media outlets are going to do their own digging, especially since it will be obvious to all that I’m your wife, and they’re going to go much further. And my editor would kill me if I held back on the details of your life.” I knew that taking this story sounded good in theory, but, in practice, it wouldn’t turn out well. “No, I think that you should probably go with your first instinct. Call your media contact over at The Times and give you story to him.”
“You’re probably right,” he said. “I wish I knew what was going to happen with this story. You know that it’s going to get twisted and everyone is going to assume that I’m a killer.”
I bit my lip when he said that. Asher was a killer, or, at least, he was one. There wasn’t any getting around that little detail.
He seemed to read my mind. “Don’t say anything. I know what you’re thinking. You have to keep thinking one thing – it was me or them. Darwin’s law was very much at work. I was just always desperate to stay on the top of the food chain.”
I smiled, thinking of Asher as a lion who had to kill or perish himself. That was even a better image than a soldier in a war, as lions, as is the case with all animals, were innocent of malice. They simply worked on instinct. I wanted to think of Asher that way, as well – innocent of malice or evil.
“Don’t worry, my lips are sealed.”
The plane descended. Natalia and Asher had given up on playing cards and were now playing chess. They seemed to be evenly matched in this game. Asher realized that the plane was descending, though, and told Natalia that they were going to have to finish their game later. “But I’ll take a picture so that we know what pieces go where.”
At that, he took a picture with his smart phone and then he climbed on the seat next to me and fastened his seat belt. He held my hand and kissed it. “I love you. I’m so happy that you’re married to me now. I promise to take good care of you as long as you live. Or as long as I live. I guess it depends on who goes first.”
I kissed him on the lips, and he put his hand on my cheek while he kissed me back. His scent was sweet and his tongue was warm in my mouth. I felt tingly just kissing him, and, if Natalia weren’t sitting in the seat across from us, we would have made love right then and there.
The plane landed, taxied and then stopped. We all got off, and there was a limousine waiting for us. It took us to Asher’s house, where Natalia would be staying until she found something else. I didn’t mind that, of course – I really liked her. She was pretty and smart and eager to begin a new life. Everything was fresh for her, and I wanted to see the city through her eyes. For her part, she was looking out the window of the limo at the city, and it seemed that she was very impressed.
“How does this city compare to where you grew up?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “It’s similar but not the same. St. Petersburg has older buildings that have been around for many years. And beautiful churches with domes. This city seems much more modern, which it is, of course. It doesn’t have the same history as my city does. But it will do. I’m just happy to be out of my father’s business. I really hated working for him. I hated what he does. I hate just about everything about my father. I don’t actually hate him, though. I just hate what he does.”
“You hate what he stands for,” I said.
Natalia nodded but looked perplexed. “Yes, I suppose. What does that mean, though? I hate the way that he stands? I do not have a problem with that. He does not have a problem with his posture.”
I smiled. “No. When a person stands for something it means that…” I found myself struggling to explain the term. I guessed that I always took certain terms and idioms for granted, and I never thought about what they really meant, and how to explain their meaning to a foreigner. “It means that he believes in something.” I thought that was as good of an explanation as anything else.
Natalia shook her head. “I do not think that is a good description of my father. He does not really believe in what he does, either. He only does it because it makes him very rich. But he does not have any love for it.”
“Well, even so, since he perpetuates that business, he must believe in it somewhat.”
“No. Do you think that people who work in slaughterhouses have a love for what they do? My father feels the same way about what he does – it has become a necessity for him. It is a necessity to make the money that he wants to make and it is a necessity for him to retain power. Our father is not a bad man. He is just….” Then she appeared to think of the word that she wanted to use. Then she thought of it. “Misguided. That would be the good word for my father.”
Misguided. I thought that word was probably the understatement of the year.
We got to Asher’s home, and Natalia looked around. “Very nice place, Alexei,” she said. “This is even nicer than our father’s home in St. Petersburg.”
Asher chuckled. “Well, that home in St. Petersburg is one of many that our father owns, of course. This is my only property.”
“Why is that? You have the money for much more homes in other parts of the world. I know that you cannot come back to Russia to live, but you could buy a home in Europe. Why do you only want to live in America?”
“I like it here,” he simply said. “It’s safe here. Safer than in other parts of the world.”
I raised my eyebrows. Natalia announced that she was going to take a nap. “It might be in the afternoon here, but it’s late at night in London. It is going to take me some time to get used to them different time.”
“Sure,” Asher said. “Let me show you to your room.”
In about ten minutes, Asher rejoined me in the den. “I saw your expression when I referenced that it’s safer here than in other parts of the world.”
“Yes. Why do I have the feeling you were taking a big chance when you went to see your father in London?”
“No. London was fine. My father was there, so nobody was going to get to me while I was there. But I will say that my father has understandings with the families here. He doesn’t necessarily have the same understandings with families in other countries.”
“So…”
“If I lived overseas, I would be vulnerable. There are still some very bad men who would love to see me dead. If I lived in Spain or Italy or any other place like that, these men could probably get to me. Or to you. That’s not a chance that I’m willing to take, of course. So, I try not to live i
n any other countries. I visit these other countries, of course, as I have to for my position. I never leave without my body guards, though, and I try not to stay in these countries for any longer than I have to. And I usually do my overseas business through the people I have appointed in the other countries.”
I sighed. I was reminded just what kind of a man that I married. But that was okay. I loved him and he loved me. I was going to have to take the good with the bad, just like in any marriage. Of course, in this case, the bad was pretty bad. But the good was amazing.
“Are you tired?” he asked me. “You’re probably jet-lagged, just like Natalia. Am I right about that?”
I nodded my head. “Very tired. Let’s go to bed.”
When we got into bed, Asher put his hand on my breast and kissed me. I sighed as he gently rolled over on me and entered me. I felt the familiar feeling of being filled up and I immediately orgasmed. As my breath started coming faster and faster, I said “I think that did it. I don’t know, but I have this feeling that this is it.”
“Really? That would be amazing.”
“Yes. I’m probably crazy, but it’s an intuition thing.”
He kissed me again. “God, I hope that you’re right about that. I really hope that you’re right.”
Me too, I thought. Me too.
Asher
I had made the decision to come clean with my past. I was nervous about it, of course, but I wanted to get in front of it. I didn’t want to be caught unaware of what revelations were going to hit the paper and when. And I knew, once it was known that Natalia was my sister, the revelations were going to come. I could keep trying to hide who I was from the world. I didn’t necessarily have to tell people that Natalia was my sister. Yet, I was truly ready. I was tired of running and hiding. I was tired of living in a way that made me afraid to look over my shoulder at all times. I didn’t like giving Sophie so much power, because, at the moment, the most she could do to me would be to expose me. She was such a loose cannon. It would be nice to take that particular bullet in her arsenal away.
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