‘Maybe he can. He and Jon seem to be patching things up.’
‘You think so?’ Caroline didn’t look convinced.
‘I don’t really know. They seem...’
‘Polite. They’re mostly polite with each other. Apart from when Jon’s baiting Jamie, and Jamie’s trying not to notice.’
Anna sighed. ‘Yes. But it’s a start.’
Joshua was starting to fret a little in his baby bouncer, and Caroline picked him up. Anna made a face at him, and he chuckled.
‘Will you hold him while I put everything away?’ Joshua was reaching for Anna, and Caroline put him into her arms. She sat down at the kitchen table, and the little boy started to grab at her hair.
‘He has green eyes!’ The resemblance to Jamie took her breath away.
Caroline laughed. ‘Yes, it’s not fair, is it? I got stuck with muddy brown in the genetic lottery, and now my son has gorgeous green eyes. I thought they might get darker as he gets older, but my mum said that Jamie and Jon’s were exactly the same, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed.’
Anna hugged the little boy and he gurgled happily, clutching at her sweater. This was as close as she’d ever get to knowing what it would be like to hold Jamie’s child, and even though it hurt she couldn’t let him go. She felt a tear roll down her cheek, and brushed it away before Caroline could see it.
‘He’s so precious...’ She heard her voice falter as she said the words.
‘You’re reckoning on having some of your own?’ Caroline lifted a pile of plates into one of the cupboards and then grinned over her shoulder.
If only. If she could give Jamie a green-eyed, happy little boy like this, Anna would have let things between them go much further. She’d have hung in there and shown him that the heartbreak they’d both suffered was in the past and could be turned around. But that was all wishful thinking.
‘I don’t know. I’m pretty busy with my career.’ Anna shrugged trying to shift the pain in her chest.
‘The two aren’t necessarily mutually exclusive. I’ve put things on hold a bit workwise, but I still work two days a week. It keeps me relatively sane.’
‘What do you do?’ Changing the subject from babies to Caroline’s job would be good right now.
‘I’m a midwife. Harry and I decided that Joshua would be our last. I wouldn’t mind more, but there’s the small matter of raising them to contend with. We have our hands full as it is—people say that twins are more than twice the work, and it’s true...’
Caroline was talking still, but the words seemed to fade into background noise. Anna had come to terms with her inability to have children, and after Daniel had left her she’d pulled herself together and got her life back on track. She should forget all about things that she couldn’t do and concentrate on the ones she could. But the child in her lap was making that very difficult.
Caroline walked over to the window, looking outside. ‘The kids are amusing themselves out there so let’s have some coffee, eh?’
‘Oh. Yes, that would be nice.’ Perhaps she could give Joshua back to his mother and the terrible, instinctive tug would begin to subside.
‘Where’s Jamie, I wonder? He might want...’
Caroline fell silent as voices from the sitting room floated through into the kitchen. They were getting louder.
‘You just walked away, Jamie!’
‘Oh. Right. And that made it all okay, did it? Sleeping with my fiancée was obviously the only response possible to my career choices.’
‘Oh, no! Just when I thought things were going so well...’ Caroline wailed, her hand flying to her mouth.
This didn’t sound good. The two women ignored Joshua’s innocent babble, straining to hear.
‘I needed you. We had a dream, and you turned your back on it.’
‘You had a dream, Jon. It was all about you. It always is.’
A thud sounded from the sitting room as if something had been thrown. Caroline jumped, tears beginning to roll down her cheeks. She must have been dreading this.
Anna stood, putting Joshua into his mother’s arms. ‘I’m going to stop this.’
‘How?’
‘I’ve no idea...’ All she knew was that she had to. For Jamie’s sake. She marched into the sitting room and saw the two of them on their feet, each trying to stare the other down. The book that had been sitting on the coffee table, next to Jon’s chair, was lying upended in the grate.
‘Stop it!’
Jamie flinched at the sound of her voice, taking a step back, but Jon flailed his arms towards his brother.
‘That’s right. Play the injured party, why don’t you...’
‘I said stop it.’ Anna pushed between them, feeling Jamie’s hand on her shoulder, gently trying to move her out of the way. She shook it off, facing Jon. ‘Sit down, Jon.’
‘Why me?’ Jon growled at her and she felt Jamie trying to move her away again.
‘Both of you. Back off and sit down.’
For a moment there was silence. Then Jon turned and sat down. Jamie backed away too, sitting down in a chair on the other side of the fireplace. Anna took a deep breath.
‘You should both be ashamed of yourselves. If you want to shout then you can do it out of earshot of Caroline and the children. Don’t you think they’ve suffered enough?’
Jamie’s face, set in an expression of anger and stress, softened a little. ‘I’m sorry. I’ll go and see if they’re okay—’
‘You aren’t going anywhere, Jamie. I’m not finished with either of you yet. What’s all this about?’
‘He—’ Anna silenced Jon with a wave of her hand.
‘No, Jon. You both need to stop blaming each other and start taking responsibility for your own actions.’
Jon stared at her, clearly not comprehending her meaning. But Jamie knew, she could see it in his face. If he could just lead the way, maybe Jon would follow. Maybe they could turn this into progress.
* * *
Rage. Jon had been baiting him, and he’d lost control of his temper. And then shock when Anna had pushed herself in between him and Jon. Now Jamie felt ashamed of himself for destroying the fragile peace that had been carefully brokered between him and his brother.
But Anna wasn’t going to take shame. She wouldn’t take apologies or excuses, or promises to keep his cool in the future. She wanted more than that, and there was no denying her. It occurred to Jamie that she was very beautiful when angry, but he dismissed the thought. Anna didn’t want to hear that either. She was standing, her arms folded, waiting for someone to say something, and he knew exactly what he had to do.
‘When we were kids...you remember, Jon, how you used to help me with my written work?’
‘I remember.’ Jon glared at him sullenly.
‘I never thought I’d be able to cope with medical school. But you gave me the confidence, you told me that I could do anything.’
‘I meant...’ Jon puffed out a breath. ‘I meant we could do anything. We could write songs and perform them. We were going to take the world by storm...’
‘All right.’ Jon’s voice had started to rise, and Anna shot him a warning look. ‘Were you good?’
‘They were very good.’ Tension still hung heavily in the air, and Caroline’s voice made Jamie jump. She was standing in the doorway, holding Joshua in her arms.
‘You were just a kid.’ Jon pursed his lips, but his tone was quieter now, more measured.
‘We were good together, Jon.’ This felt like an admission. Jamie realised that he’d never really voiced it before. He’d been so determined that he wanted to be a doctor that he hadn’t allowed himself to even think it.
‘So why did you break up the partnership? You could have been famous. It sounds like a nice life to me.’ Anna allowed herself a smile.
Jamie shrugged. �
��I just felt... I suppose that music was something I did. A doctor is what I am.’
‘And you explained that to Jon? After everything he’d done to help you?’
Jamie felt himself redden. ‘No, I don’t think I did. I’m sorry.’
Anna turned her gaze onto Jon. Jamie felt a prickle of sympathy for his brother because he’d just been subjected to that look and he hadn’t been able to resist it.
‘Music is what I am. I wanted it to be what you were too, but...’ Jon shrugged. ‘I guess that’s life. We don’t always get to choose.’
‘It sounds as if you resented the way that what each of you wanted led you in different directions.’ Anna spoke gently.
Jon let out a grim laugh. ‘He wasn’t so much fun. I got the band together and we sang “Everywhere”... It was his song, but half the time he was too wrapped up in his books to even notice.’
‘I noticed. I was really proud of you. I thought it all went to your head a bit, though.’
‘A bit? Trust me, when you’re nineteen years old, and you’re standing in front of thousands of people all shouting your name, it goes to your head. It loses its charm a bit after a while, though. Everyone seems to want a piece of you.’
Jon had never spoken of this before. Or maybe Jamie had just never listened. ‘I should have been there for you more over the years.’
‘You had your own gig. Your studies and then that charity of yours... I hear it does a lot of good things.’
There was one more thing that Jamie had to do. He got slowly to his feet, flashing a glance at Anna, and she nodded him on.
‘You helped me overcome my dyslexia, and gave me the confidence to chase my dreams, Jon. The charity’s just a way of passing that down.’ Jamie held his hand out to his brother. It was no longer a struggle, he really meant it this time.
The handshake turned into a hug. He heard Caroline’s squeal of delight, and she rushed over and kissed both of them. When Jamie turned, looking for Anna, she’d flopped back onto the sofa, as if the effort of this had been too much for her. But she was smiling.
‘I’ve brought you both something.’ Caroline delivered baby Joshua into Jon’s arms and hurried out into the hallway. When she reappeared, she was holding the battered box that contained memories that had seemed lost for ever a moment ago.
‘You brought the games!’ Jon smiled suddenly.
‘It’s been a long time since we all played.’ Caroline started to unload the board games onto the table. ‘I thought we might give it a go. If you’d like to.’
‘It sounds like a great idea. I’ll make some tea, and fetch the kids in from the garden, shall I?’ Jamie volunteered.
There was one thing more that he needed to do before any of that. His gaze found Anna’s and she rose, following him into the kitchen.
‘Hey. Thank you.’ Taking her hand seemed acceptable, and when he did she smiled up at him.
‘Are you good with this? Really?’
She’d seen through the pretence and had known that his initial reconciliation with Jon was what Jamie knew he must do, rather than something he felt in his heart. This, more recent, one went a lot deeper.
‘I’m good. I mean it this time.’ Jamie heaved a sigh. ‘All that you said, about taking responsibility for our own actions, telling each other how we felt... I knew that. It’s what I tell the families I work with...’
‘It’s easy to say. Harder to put into practice when you have all the emotion to deal with as well.’
‘Are you letting me off lightly? That’s not like you.’
She rolled her eyes. ‘No. You still don’t get any free passes from me. There’s a lot of work to do still.’
There was. He and Jon hadn’t even got to the point of discussing what had happened at Christmas three years ago. But this was a start. Jamie was beginning to see that it wasn’t just an isolated incident but that the resentment had been brewing for years.
Suddenly she stretched out her arms in an invitation that he took straight away. Her hug was comforting and yet sexy all at the same time, and everything he needed right now.
‘You can be a bit scary when you want to be.’
He heard her laugh against his chest. ‘I can be very scary. Don’t you forget it.’
‘No, ma’am.’
‘And I could really do with a cup of tea.’ Anna looked up at him, mischief in her eyes. ‘So you can leave the talking for another time and get on and make me one.’
* * *
Caroline’s idea of board games was a hit with everyone. The older twins, Jamie and Jon, each paired up with one of the younger ones and faced each other across the board with mock scowls. Jessica added a more ladylike note to the proceedings and sat next to Anna, discussing their next moves in a whisper behind her hand. Baby Joshua sat on his mother’s knee, keeping his strategies to himself but holding up his arms, babbling with glee along with everyone else, when someone made a killer move.
A family. One that was weathering a storm but who were all focussed on the same thing. Love had held them together, and maybe it would bring them safely home. For now, Anna was a part of that, but it wouldn’t last. She shouldn’t get too comfortable here, and she definitely shouldn’t think about the green eyes of baby Joshua or his uncle Jamie.
When Caroline packed Jon and all the children into her SUV and drove away, the house seemed suddenly quiet. The plan had been that Jamie would take her to the station so that she could go back to London tonight, but he walked straight past their coats, hanging in the hallway, and stood by the hearth in the sitting room, staring at the glowing coals.
‘It feels as if it’s been a long day.’ Anna was searching for something to say to break the silence.
‘Yes, it does.’
‘So what are you up to tomorrow?’
He looked up at her, smiling suddenly. ‘I have the Hastings Hustlers first thing tomorrow. We’re a multi-disciplinary team, but at the moment we’re concentrating on basketball.’
‘What else do you do?’
‘Anything that takes our fancy. We make a mean baseball team, and we play football as well. And tennis. A couple of the girls do gymnastics and we have a chess player too.’
‘And they’re all Hastings Hustlers?’
‘I got the sweatshirts. It seemed a shame to waste them.’ Jamie paused for a moment, letting the silence hang between them. ‘Would you like to come along? You could meet some of the kids and see something of what we do.’
‘I’d love to. Another time perhaps. I’m not sure I can get back down to Hastings for first thing tomorrow morning.’
‘You could stay over. You have jeans and trainers and that’s all you need to join in. My guest room has plaster on the walls, a proper carpet and all the furniture matches.’
That was a disappointment. Going to sleep in one of the characterful rooms that reflected Jamie’s taste would have been nice. But Anna suspected the real piece of information he’d been intending to convey was guest room.
‘And you get a team sweatshirt. But only if you play.’ He shot her a look that was beyond tempting.
‘What colour sweatshirt?’ Decorum dictated that she should pretend that the idea wasn’t one that demanded an immediate yes.
‘Red. Only I don’t think we have any of those at the moment. Orange, yellow, green, blue, black or violet.’
‘No indigo?’
He grinned. Jamie knew that her assent to the plan was only a matter of time. ‘Have you tried getting an indigo sweatshirt printed? Black was the closest they could do.’
‘Hmm. Violet might be nice. As long as it’s not really purple.’
‘You can decide for yourself. And I’ll stand you lunch afterwards. You can throw some things into the washing machine tonight and they’ll be clean for the morning.’
‘You know how to tempt a girl, don
’t you?’ This was suddenly so easy. Jamie had staked out the boundaries, and she knew exactly where she stood. A kiss didn’t mean that they couldn’t just be friends, however explosive it had felt at the time.
‘You want temptation? Wait till you see the sweatshirts.’
He led her through the kitchen and into a large office, which caught the best of the early evening sun. It was decorated in the same eclectic style as the sitting room, although a large colour-coded wall planner gave a more businesslike feel. A chrome-legged, fifties-style desk with a shiny red top provided a splash of colour and the sleek computer equipment and shelving contrasted with bare brick walls and a wooden door, knotted and scarred with age. Storage boxes were stacked up against the wall, and Jamie heaved a couple of them to one side, opening them.
‘There you go. Pick whichever one you like.’
Anna sorted through the plastic-wrapped sweatshirts. The violet was nice, and she pulled a pile out, sorting through the sizes, which ran from five-to-seven years to extra-large. ‘This one will fit.’
‘You can’t take it out of the bag until you promise to play.’ A smile hovered around his lips. Anna tore the plastic, unfolding the sweatshirt and holding it up against herself.
CHAPTER NINE
ANNA WOKE IN a comfortable bed, early morning sunshine filtering through the windows. Unlike her flat in London, the house wasn’t overlooked, and she’d left the curtains open, welcoming the glimmer of a harvest moon slanting across the cream-painted walls. Waking at dawn brought the sound of birdsong and not traffic.
The quiet created a sense of peace that the ever-present sounds of the city couldn’t reproduce. She’d discovered last night that Jamie didn’t own a TV, and they’d sat by the fireside, roasting chestnuts and talking. London was his inspiration, full of the clamour of every different kind of professional and cultural stimulus, but his heart was here.
Her clothes and the new sweatshirt were folded neatly on a chair. Anna gave her T-shirt a shake, deciding that the creases from the washer/dryer would have to fall out with wear, and made for the en suite bathroom.
A Rival to Steal Her Heart Page 9