* * *
Jamie stared blankly at the table in front of him. She wouldn’t. Anna couldn’t.
The silence that had seemed to damn him in Anna’s eyes had been shock. Sudden understanding of all the little things he’d wondered about. But she’d seen it as rejection. She’d think about that for a moment and realise she was wrong and turn around so that he could tell her the one obvious truth. He could give up anything else in his life as long as Anna stayed...
Then he heard the front door bang. When he walked to the window, he saw the headlights of her car flip on and then slowly arc across the driveway.
He could have borne whatever Anna cared to throw at him. He could have borne her silence. But he couldn’t bear it that she’d just left before he’d even had a chance to take in everything she’d said properly.
Gill had done that too. He knew now that there had been a lot wrong with their relationship, and it was unlikely that anything either of them could have said would have mended it. But she’d never allowed him the opportunity of any understanding or closure. Had just walked away. And now Anna, the person he believed in more than anyone else he’d ever known, had done the same thing. They could have made it work, but she wouldn’t even try.
Perhaps she’d feel differently about it in the morning. It was a great thought, but Jamie knew that it was never going to happen. He could call and she wouldn’t answer. He might even sit down and laboriously write an email, setting out everything he wanted to say to her, but he’d never know if she’d even read it because she wouldn’t reply. Once Anna had made up her mind about something she stuck to it.
Anger coursed through his veins. So much for candlelight and a nice dinner. He pinched the wicks of the candles to extinguish them, cursing when he burned his fingers. Then in a sudden blind rage, directed at himself, Anna, and the rest of the world, he swept his arm across the table. Plates and candlesticks went flying, hitting the floor with a crash, which somehow didn’t satisfy him as much as it should have. Walking out of the house, he stood on the veranda, shivering and watching the rain fall.
* * *
When Anna popped her head around the door of the waiting room, Callum and his aunt were sitting alone. She’d expected that—she hadn’t seen or heard from Jamie in the last three weeks. That was partly due to the fact that she’d been judiciously avoiding him.
This would be the last time she’d go through this kind of heartbreak. She’d been with Jamie for four short weeks, but in that time she’d known he was the love of her life. ‘The One.’ If it was impossible for her to stay with him, then there would never be anyone else. She’d never be hurt again.
Callum looked up and saw her, giving her a smile. Anna switched on the smile she’d been hiding behind ever since she’d walked out on Jamie.
‘Hi, Callum. How are you doing?’
‘Great. Thanks.’
He didn’t look great. That was generally the case with patients who came for a second laser treatment for tattoo removal, they knew what to expect this time. She beckoned for him to follow her and his aunt gathered up her coat and came too.
‘So. Let’s take a look at your hand, then.’
Callum brightened a bit. ‘It’s looking really good, don’t you think?’
Anna examined his hand carefully. All of the inflammation had gone down now, and the tattoos were now a faded collection of disjointed lines with no discernible meaning.
‘Yes, I’m really pleased with the results, these should only need one more treatment and then we can get started on the other hand. Generally tattoos need a great deal more work before they fade, but these small amateur tattoos are sometimes easier to remove than professional ones, because of the depth of penetration and type of ink.’
Callum grinned. ‘I’ll remember that for the future.’
Anna glanced at Callum’s aunt, who had frowned suddenly in response to her nephew’s joke. She felt a tingle at the back of her neck. A remembered reaction to the expected interjection from Jamie. But he wasn’t here.
‘You have to think very carefully before getting any tattoo, Callum. I’d say that if removal even crosses your mind, that’s a pretty solid reason not to get one done in the first place.’
Callum nodded. ‘I’ve learned my lesson. I won’t be getting any more. Jamie said I should focus on how my hands are going to look when this is finished, and how I’m going to keep them that way.’
Anna resisted the temptation to ask Callum exactly where and when he’d last seen Jamie, and how he was. ‘Yes, that’s a good suggestion.’
‘He said to say hello.’
‘Did he?’ Anna obviously hadn’t managed to conceal her surprise and consternation because Callum shrugged.
‘Well, he didn’t actually say it. I expect he forgot. I’ll tell him hello back, shall I?’
Anna thought quickly. Maybe the Hastings Hustlers had noticed something and this was a heavy-handed attempt to open the lines of communication between her and Jamie again. On the other hand, Callum might just be trying to be polite, it was difficult to tell.
‘How is he?’
‘Okay. Pretty much the same as always.’
‘Right. Well, I’m glad to hear it. Don’t bother to tell him hello, I should probably give him a call. I’ll say hello myself.’
‘Okay.’ Callum turned his attention back to his hand. He clearly had more important things on his mind and he was looking nervous again.
Jamie was right, fixing his attention on the results of the procedure would help Callum through the discomfort. Even now, after everything they’d been through, Jamie was still there in her head. The worst part of it was that even though it hurt, she welcomed it because it was the last thing she had left of him.
‘Right. Would you like to say goodbye to these?’ She smiled at Callum, indicating the remnants of the tattoos. ‘It may well be the last you’ll see of them.’
Callum laughed. ‘Good riddance more like.’
‘I think so too. Let’s get started...’
* * *
‘What do you think?’ Jon handed Jamie the playlist, which had been typed in double spacing to make it easier to read. Jamie studied it carefully.
‘That’ll be great. You’re accompanying “Everywhere” on the mandolin?’
‘Yes, that was a great suggestion of yours. Just right for the unplugged version.’
Jamie and Jon were sitting in armchairs on either side of the fireplace, where a blazing fire was chasing away the chill of an October evening. Good food, long tramps in the countryside and intensive counselling had done their work, and Jon was looking a great deal better now.
‘You’re sure this isn’t too soon? You don’t have to get straight back to work, you know.’
Jon shrugged. ‘I know. I really want to do it, though. Getting back to my roots a bit, playing small venues with a few new arrangements of the songs. It’s only going to be four dates, and I’m really looking forward to it.’
‘Well, I’ll be keeping an eye on you.’
‘That’s another thing I’m looking forward to. Having my big brother keep an eye on me.’
They’d come a long way together. They’d talked about everything, all of the things that had gradually built up resentment and pushed them apart. Then finally they’d talked about Gill. Jamie had acknowledged that his relationship with his ex-fiancée had been quietly deteriorating for some time, and Jon had acknowledged that his behaviour had been inexcusable. Then they’d forgiven each other.
‘Caroline says she’s coming along, to the final gig. She’s bringing Jessica.’
Jamie chuckled. ‘Doesn’t that make you feel old? That your niece is grown up enough to come to one of your concerts?’
‘I quite like it. Feels like a new lease of life.’ Jon stretched his arms out, holding his hands towards the fire.
‘I
hope it’s not going to be too cold.’
‘Nah. Big tent in the park. What’s not to like? If anyone gets frostbite I’ll hand them over to you.’
‘Because it’s always useful to have a doctor around?’ Jamie smiled.
‘Yep. You can never have too many doctors.’ Jon frowned suddenly. ‘I wanna say something.’
That usually meant it was something that he didn’t want to hear. But Jamie felt numb these days. The pain of missing Anna had made everything else seem trivial. ‘Yeah, go ahead.’
‘It’s none of my business...’
‘Whatever. Say it anyway.’
‘You’re bloody miserable, mate. Caroline’s noticed as well.’
Jamie stared at his brother. Since he hadn’t spoken about his affair with Anna, he’d told himself that no one need know about the break-up. Silence had been his way of keeping it all together, because it hurt too much to put into words. Clearly he hadn’t made as good a job of covering his feelings as he’d thought.
‘I’m okay.’
‘Yeah, pull the other one. One minute you and Anna are joined at the hip, and you’re looking like the cat that’s got the cream. The next minute she’s gone and... Look, I’m the last person who should be mentioning your love life to you.’
Jamie shrugged. ‘Didn’t we say that we were going to put that in the past? Now that we both understand a little more about why it happened, we can let it go.’
‘That’s what you said. And I’ll always be grateful for it, because it’s given us a future. That’s not my point, Jamie. My point is that when I hit rock bottom it was because I’d lost my faith in anything ever changing. You were the one who showed me I was wrong.’
‘It’s complicated, Jon.’
‘It always is. Until it’s not.’
Jamie didn’t answer. He didn’t want to think about it, because Anna had been the best thing that had ever happened to him. And losing her had been the worst.
He stared into the fire, watching the flames dance. Anna had taken his heart when she’d walked away. He’d been angry, and she probably didn’t even know that he’d do anything to be with her.
An idea occurred to him. It was crazy, a chance in a million... But it had been a long time since the Campbell-Clarke brothers had taken their one chance in a million, made a song out of it, and it had shaped both their futures.
‘There is something...’
Jon looked up at him. ‘Yeah? Name it, big brother.’
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
EVERYONE AT THE clinic was talking about Jonny Campbell’s new song. It had been released free on the internet, and in the first few hours had been downloaded over a million times. When Anna had listened to it, it had made her cry. ‘Whatever’ was a love song. One that promised a true and faithful heart. Whatever the cost and whatever happened.
The ticket had arrived by courier, and Anna had been called down to the clinic’s reception desk to sign for it personally. There was a note inside from Jon, asking her to come to the first of four concerts, which would be taking place in one of the central London parks, the following week.
She couldn’t go, of course. She’d made discreet enquiries, and it seemed that no one else at the clinic had received a ticket so she’d been singled out. If Jamie was behind it, it would only lead to more heartbreak.
But she couldn’t shake the words of the song. It had the same haunting quality as ‘Everywhere’. What if Jamie had written it?
The Saturday of the concert was a bright, clear day, and Anna couldn’t help herself. She had to go. Whatever the cost, and whatever happened.
There had been a frenzied demand for tickets, and security was tight at the entrance to the area where the tent was pitched. She’d heard that it held a thousand people, and it was enormous, with a stage at one end ringed by security. Her ticket got her into the front section, just yards from the stage.
Excitement hung in the air, and Anna stood alone to one side, watching the hubbub around her. The promise of new, ‘unplugged’ versions of Jonny Campbell’s greatest hits had attracted both young and old, and there was a friendly, almost holiday atmosphere. Anna felt sick from the cacophony of feelings that were tugging her in so many different directions. She was about to leave when a roar went up and the crowd surged forward as Jon stepped out onto the stage.
He looked good. There was a spring in his step and he’d lost the haggard, disconnected look that he’d had when he’d first checked into the clinic. He’d ditched his signature leather trousers in favour of jeans and a casual shirt, but he hadn’t been able to resist a leather jacket, lined with studs across the back. The scars on his face were still there, but they seemed less vivid against the healthy colour of his face. It was good to see the change in him.
He started to speak, thanking everyone for coming, and receiving a cheer in response. There were a few jokes and some banter with the crowd, and then Anna froze.
‘My brother Jamie is half an hour older than me, and a great deal better looking. He wrote “Everywhere” when we were eighteen, and since then we’ve been through a lot together. So it’s my great pleasure to welcome him here this afternoon...’
She wanted to run, but that would only draw attention to herself. And this was what she was here for, wasn’t it? She’d been drawn like a moth to the flame, needing to find out if this new song was what she didn’t dare hope it might be. She pulled the woollen hat she’d brought with her from her pocket, putting it on and stepping behind a group of people so she couldn’t be spotted from the stage.
There was a cheer when Jamie came onto the stage, and he acknowledged it diffidently, sitting down on one of the two high stools at the front of the stage and picking up a guitar. Jon joined him, reaching for a mandolin, and the two of them started to play.
The new arrangement of ‘Everywhere’ was more beautiful than the original. Anna couldn’t tear her gaze from Jamie. He was so close, but she knew he couldn’t see her, and she felt tears of frustration and uncertainty run down her face.
‘You like this version?’
A roar of approval answered Jon’s question and he laughed, caught up by the sheer delight of being on stage.
‘Okay, it’ll be released in a couple of weeks. Jamie wrote “Everywhere” sixteen years ago, and it’s taken a very special lady to make him pick up his pen again. Anna, if you’re here, this one’s for you...’
Everyone was looking around. Anna felt her cheeks burn. ‘Whatever’ really was her song? Jamie seemed determined not to look at the crowd, and walked over to the piano, sitting down to play the first few chords. Jon began to sing, and was walking up and down at the front of the stage, seeming to be scanning the audience.
Suddenly she knew. The song said everything. Jamie wanted her, and he’d always love her. He could give up anything else in his life, but he couldn’t lose her. Anna waved, desperately trying to catch his attention, to show him that she was here, but he seemed oblivious of everything but the piano keys. But Jon saw her, and signalled to one of the security men around the stage. The man cleared a path through for her, and she ran forward.
‘Jamie! Jamie!’ He had to look up and see her.
Jon stopped singing, leaving the backing players to continue with the melody. Then Jamie looked up and saw her. His reaction was immediate, and he ran to the edge of the stage.
‘Looks as if my brother’s got something more important on his mind than playing the piano. I’m gonna need some help. Do we have the words...?’ Jon looked round at the screen that was suspended over his head and the precious words, which were all for her, flashed up. He started to sing again, and the crowd joined in. Jamie jumped down from the stage, and Anna flung herself into his arms.
‘You didn’t look for me?’ She had to press her lips close to his ear so that he could hear her.
‘I was too afraid you wouldn’t be there. I
had to ask Jon to do it for me.’ He kissed her and suddenly everything was all right.
‘Do you really mean it, Jamie? That you’ll love me whatever happens?’
‘Of course I mean it. I’ve just said it in front of a thousand people, and I was going to keep saying it until you heard me. Loving you isn’t just what I do, it’s who I am.’
‘It’s who I am, too. I love you, Jamie.’
Somewhere, far away, the crowd was cheering. But Jamie was kissing her, and nothing else mattered.
EPILOGUE
Three years later
‘JON’S ASKED ME if I’m going to write another song.’
‘And are you?’
‘Nah. The only songs I’ll be writing any time soon are lullabies.’
Anna and Jamie were curled up together on their bed. It was early still, but they couldn’t take their eyes off the two cradles by the side of the bed, where their one-week-old twins were sleeping.
‘We’re so lucky, Jamie. Everything worked out.’
‘You thought it wouldn’t?’
‘I knew it would. But I’m so happy it worked out like this.’
When they’d got married, Jamie and Anna had promised to love each other and trust in the future. And the future had repaid their trust and given them more than they ever could have hoped for. Tests had shown that although she couldn’t conceive or carry a baby, Anna could produce viable eggs. Caroline had been the one to suggest that she could act as a surrogate for them and their twins, a girl and a boy, had been safely delivered last week.
‘I don’t think I’ll ever be able to thank Caroline enough.’ Anna snuggled against Jamie’s chest.
‘I think you’ve mentioned that to her. Once or twice. And even if you hadn’t I think that your offer to look after her kids for two weeks, while she and Harry have a holiday together next summer, was nothing short of heroic.’
A Rival to Steal Her Heart Page 16