by Mindy Hayes
Alix speaks into my hair. “Everyone has their reasons and, as much as it pains me to say it, I’m guessing even Dean Preston had a good enough reason. But in the end, it’s your choice.” She lifts my left hand gesturing toward my wedding ring. “Though before you can ever move on with life, Sawyer, other things need to happen.”
I nod, gazing at the diamonds. “You’re right. Just not tonight. Okay?”
“Okay.”
DEAN
WITH RESOLVE, I dial Rob Dillon’s number as I sit at my desk.
“Rob Dillon,” he answers.
“Rob, hey. It’s Dean Preston.”
“Dean, what an unexpected surprise.”
I shift the phone between my shoulder and ear. “I was hoping that I’m not too late.”
“Having second thoughts?”
“More like I’d like to do a little renegotiating. Is it possible that your offer still stands?”
He clears his throat. “Well, I’ve had some other promising options, but nothing is set in stone. What do you have mind?”
“I’d like to sell the garage to you, business end and all. Everything.”
“You wouldn’t be staying on board?”
“No, I, uh, I’ll be moving out of Willowhaven in the next couple weeks.”
Rob exhales. “Well.”
“I know before the offer included me, but I’d like to just hand everything to you. My friend, Aiden, knows this garage almost as well as I do. I think you’d be just as happy with him at the helm as you would me. He’s been a part of this business from day one. I know he’d be a perfect asset for you.”
Rob is silent for a moment, and I say a silent prayer. If this falls through so will everything else. “You sure about this?” he asks.
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”
“Can I ask you what made you change your mind?”
That was an easy answer. “There’s something in this world I care more about than this garage, and I can’t have both.”
“Well, all right.”
Rob and I discuss the final business transaction. The final price was renegotiated. I don’t get as much as he originally offered, but it’s enough. It doesn’t take more than ten minutes to essentially sign my life away.
“Well,” Rob says, “if you ever change your mind, I’d be happy to have you on board.”
“I won’t, but thank you, sir.”
“I’ll have the papers drawn up. All you’ll have to do it sign on the dotted line.”
“Thanks, Rob.”
“Thank you, Dean. I hope everything works out for you.”
I do, too. “Eventually it will.”
***
It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be to give up the garage. That’s how I know I made the right decision. I thought it would feel more like a loss, but losing Sawyer drowns that out. This is the only way for me to move forward.
It only takes about a week for everything to finalize. Rob wasn’t kidding when he said he’d pay cash. Thankfully, he made everything really painless. The garage has officially been signed over to him. By the end of the week, I’ll be on my way out of Willowhaven. For good this time.
“I can’t believe you’re really leaving, man. You sure about this?”
“It’s got to be done. I can’t stay here. If I have to stay in Willowhaven and watch Sawyer fall in love with someone else, marry someone else…” I can’t finish the thought. It’s too much to let my thoughts go that far. Clenching my teeth, I keep my emotions in check. I shake my head and continue. “I know you’ll take good care of the garage.”
“It won’t be the same without you there. Who am I going to go to about my Alix drama now?”
“I’m sure you’ll find someone,” I chuckle dryly.
“Well, at least you’re giving me the chance to say goodbye this time.” Aiden smirks and punches my shoulder.
“Well, I’ll need your help, so I had to tell you.”
“You have underlying motives. I see how it is. You’re just using me.”
“It’s all a little impossible without you, Aide.”
Aiden agrees to help me sell the house. I put it on the market, and he’s agreed to keep me posted as buyers approach. It’s not really a seller’s market right now, but with the mortgage already paid off, I’m not too worried about it.
With Aiden’s help, I’m boxing my life away. I’ve decided to sell the majority of what my father left behind. His things only hold memories I want to forget, and it will be easier to move with less to worry about. There’s just one thing that I don’t want to sell.
Aiden’s mouth hangs open as we stand in my bedroom, packing up my dresser. “Why are you giving me this?”
“You need it more than I do.”
He looks at the open ring box in his hand and tries to give it back to me. “I can’t take this.”
“You can and you will. I don’t have any use for it anymore.” I shove it back to him. I don’t want it.
“But this was meant for Sawyer.”
My wall shoots up. I can’t think about that. “And that’s not going to happen. So, take it.” I shake my head firmly. If I can’t give it to Sawyer, I don’t want to give it to anyone else. “Someday, Alix will get her crap together. Now you can be prepared.”
Aiden chuckles humorlessly, but nods. “You really do have faith in me.”
“Always have.”
***
Through a little detective work, I found out when Sawyer wouldn’t be at Sprinkles. Pushing her out of my mind hasn’t been easy, but it’s the only way I’m still functioning. I’ve done everything I can to avoid running into her over the last week. It’s a lot easier not seeing her face and I know she doesn’t want to see me. I will respect that.
The door chimes as I walk into the bakery. Polly appears from the back, wiping her hands down the front of her apron. Her gray hair is tied up on top of her head.
“Dean Preston, how are ya, son?” She smiles.
“Ms. Polly, I’m doing well. How are you today?
“I’m blessed.” She nods. “If you’re here to see Sawyer, she’s not here today. She has the day off.”
Taking a step toward the counter, I say, “I actually came here to talk with you. Do you have a minute? I have an offer for you I’m hoping you’ll consider.”
SAWYER
WITH THE MORNING light shining through my bedroom windows, I sit on the edge of my bed with trembling hands. Today is the first day of my fresh start. It’s been three weeks since I told Dean it was over. In order to really begin anew though, I have to start with this. My head bows forward as I gaze down at my right hand clutching the other in my lap. I spin my wedding ring around and around on my finger, watching each facet sparkle under the rays streaming in. The reflection dances on my yellow walls. It’s time. I know it is, but this diamond-encrusted band hasn’t left my hand in five years. I’ve never taken it off. Not once.
I remember the way it felt when he first put it on my finger. How the cold band warmed instantly, fitting perfectly in place, like this ring was always meant for my finger. I remember the look in Grayson’s eyes whenever he saw it. They way his eyes would light up every time as if he was reminded that I said yes.
I grasp my ring, still circling my finger, and close my eyes. With a shaky breath, I imagine Grayson with me. I can’t do this without him. His hand rests atop mine. When I peer into his face, he offers a tender smile. A lock of hair curls in the center of his forehead. I have the urge to sweep it back. His hazel eyes gleam behind his dark-rimmed glasses and then he nods. A tear escapes my eye, but I know I’m ready. I breathe in. Pulling the ring gently off, I breathe out.
***
“Sawyer, you headed in to work?” Mom asks while I’m grabbing an apple from the fridge with my naked left hand.
“Yeah, I’m opening for Polly today.”
“Will you bring home a dozen red velvet cupcakes? I need a dessert for pikino tonight with the l
adies.”
I nod. “Shouldn’t be a problem.”
“Also, when you talk to Blaine, will you ask him to come home for Christmas? I think you have a better chance of him saying yes.”
I grunt out a laugh and head toward the front door. “I’ll try, but we haven’t been able to get him back out here in how many years? I doubt this will be the first year.”
She follows me. “It doesn’t mean a mother can’t dream. He might surprise you. This year has been quite a year. I think he just might make an exception. For you.”
Offering a small smile, I turn back to her. “I’ll call him later today, but I’m not making any promises. Christmas is barely a month away.”
“Thanks, darlin’.”
When I open the front door to leave, someone is jogging down our walkway, away from my house. The broad shoulders and blond hair give him away instantly.
“Aiden? What are you—” I step out onto the mat and close the door behind me. Something crinkles under my foot. Looking down, I notice a manila envelope on the doormat. “Did you drop this off?” I pick it up and turn it over. It’s blank.
Aiden looks over his shoulder with an expression full of guilt, like someone caught with his hand in the cookie jar, but he doesn’t respond.
“What is this?” I press.
“I… I…” Never in the ten years that I’ve known Aiden Ballard has he ever been at a loss for words. He shifts uncomfortably and my stomach drops. What is going on?
I open the envelope and pull out some paperwork. Something clinks on the porch. I squat down to pick up a brass key. Huh. Standing back up, I scan over words I can’t compute: BILL OF SALE - TRANSFER OF OWNERSHIP. Polly’s name is on it. My name is on it.
“Aiden, what in the world is this?” I ask, breathless.
He curses under his breath. “You weren’t supposed to see me.”
My shoulders sag as I read further over all the legal mumbo jumbo. “Aiden.” I exhale.
“He didn’t want you to know, which is ridiculously stupid. Of course, you would have figured it out. You’re not an idiot.”
My hands begin to shake. What is he trying to tell me? Why is my name at the top of a deed for Sprinkles?
“If you couldn’t get it out of me, you would have made Alix try to pull the information out of me—”
“What did Dean do, Aiden?” I demand. I have to hear him say it to understand. Tears distort my vision as I clench my fist over my heart.
Sighing, he says, “He bought it for you.”
“He what?” I wrench my eyes away from the paperwork to look up at Aiden.
“Dean bought Sprinkles for you. It belongs to you now.”
My head shakes in disbelief. What did he just say? “Where is he, at the garage? Why would he do this?” I can’t control the volume of my voice. “I need to talk to him.”
Aiden walks up the porch and touches my shoulder to keep me in place. “He’s gone, Sawyer. He sold the garage last week. He left earlier this morning. He’s gone.”
“What? No. He did not just buy me Sprinkles and leave!” I push past Aiden and sprint over to my car in the driveway. “He can’t be gone.”
“Sawyer!” Aiden calls, but I ignore him as I slide into the driver’s side.
On my way over to Dean’s house I call his cell phone, but it goes straight to voicemail. I throw my phone onto the passenger’s seat without leaving a message.
My tires peel into Dean’s driveway. A FOR SALE sign is planted next to his mailbox, confirming my nightmare. Dirt clouds my car as I pull up the road. The house already looks deserted. The truck is gone, as well as his bike, but I bolt up the steps to his house anyway. My fists pound on the front door.
“Dean! Dean Preston! Open this door!” I bang, but there’s no answer. I know he’s gone, but I don’t want to believe it. “Dean, you open up this door right now!” This can’t be real. “Dean!” My fists let out their frustration, repeatedly beating the door over and over until they throb.
This is really it.
My pounding slows, and I fall to my knees. “Dean.” His name is a distant cry. He’s gone. Again. That freaking man left me again. But how could he actually leave me when there was no us to leave? I told him it was over. This is my fault.
Leaning my forehead against the door, I try to breathe through my tears. How dare he do this? Buy me the bakery and then leave without saying goodbye, as if I would just accept it graciously. Why would that be okay? Why would I be okay with that? But he isn’t leaving me with any other choice. He’s going to force me to accept this.
I try to calm myself. Taking a deep breath, I bring myself to my feet and turn back to my car. Dean is standing at the bottom of the porch steps, blinking. I gasp.
“What are you doing here?” he asks.
“Are you kidding me?” I laugh humorlessly and wipe away my tears with the backs of my hands. He stands casually in a fitted white t-shirt and worn jeans, waiting for me to continue, as if he didn’t just catch me having a mental breakdown on his front porch. “What are you doing here? I thought you were gone.”
“I got a flat tire a little ways up the road. I forgot my spare in my garage.” He motions to the side of the house. “Are you okay?”
I hold up the crumpled deed in my hand. “What is this?”
“It looks like a trashed piece of paper.”
“Why?” I demand. I don’t want to play games. He knows exactly what I’m holding.
He works his jaw and sighs, averting his gaze from me. “You deserve happiness.”
“So, what? You were just going to buy me Sprinkles, leave town, and everything would wind up in happily ever after for me? You sold your garage?”
His chest rises and falls without a word spoken. He was full of information the other night, and now he has nothing to say for himself?
“You sold your garage for me,” I say with less vehemence.
The shrug of his shoulders makes me want to shake him or kiss him, but I decide against both.
When his eyes meet mine again, he says, “Sawyer, even if I can’t have you, it doesn’t change the fact that I want you to be happy. You deserve to have the bakery. It’s your future. I’ve accepted that I’m not. Please just take it. After all that I’ve put you through, let me just do this one thing.”
“How am I supposed to accept this? You sold the one thing you love most in this world to make it happen.”
Dean snorts and shakes his head. “The one thing in this world I love most is standing in front of me. I would sell that garage a thousand times over if it meant you were happy. Hell, I’d give it away if it meant I got to keep you.”
My arms go limp at my sides. The thumping of my heart echoes in my ears as his words reverberate in my mind. There’s no way to stop the tears from streaming down my cheeks. Tiny fractures form in my resistance, breaking down my walls.
Dean strides up the stairs to meet me at the top. His hands clutch my shoulders as he dips his head, compelling me to match his gaze. “Please don’t cry. I can’t bear to see your tears anymore.” His thumb brushes across my cheeks.
“You only have yourself to blame,” I say, and he chuckles softly.
“Tell me what to do, Sawyer. Tell me what to do to fix this, and I’ll do it. I will do anything.”
I want to ask him to stay. That realization strikes a chord because I know how selfish that would be now. With his house on the market and his garage gone, I know I’ve let this go too far. He’s moving on just as I asked him to. Why did I ask him to do that?
“Why are you doing this to me?”
“Doing what?” he asks earnestly. “I thought this is what you would want. You told me to move on. I’m only doing as you asked.”
“I didn’t ask for the bakery.”
“You didn’t have to.”
I exhale and close my eyes. “Why did you stay in Willowhaven?” I ask. I need answers before he’s out of my life for good. Now is all I have. “When you came back here you
didn’t have to stay. I was gone. Your dad was gone. It’s not like you ever wanted to stay in Willowhaven, but you did.”
His gaze caresses my face. After he lets out a deep breath, he gestures to the bench on the porch. “Can we please sit?”
I nod and follow him down the wooden porch. When we sit down side-by-side he continues. “I hoped you would come back, too.” He pauses and averts his eyes to his front yard as he bites his bottom lip and groans. “Sawyer, I wish you had come back for different reasons, under different circumstances. Even if it meant I never got to have you, I would never have wished for Grayson’s death.” His eyes peer over at me. “If I had to blow away a thousand dandelions to make it all go away, I would. I would do anything for you.”
My shoulders fall. “You stayed and waited for me.”
“I had to make something of myself. If you ever came back, I had to be good enough to deserve you. When I heard you were engaged to some big shot in Seattle, I knew I would never win you back with the life I led. Alix not so delicately dropped hints here and there about how amazing Grayson was and how unbelievably happy you were.” I nearly choke over her exaggeration. “So, I started the garage, and it wasn’t much, but it was more than what I had before. It was the only thing I knew how to do, and I had to be someone deserving of you.”
I blink, unable to understand how he could possibly feel that way. “You were always deserving of me, Dean.”
When his head shakes I want to hold it still and force him to understand what I’ve always seen when I look at him. “It’s hard to believe that when you’re repeatedly told you’re not,” he says simply.
I wake up in the middle of the night to a warm body wrapping around mine. I smell Dean’s familiar scent as soon as he buries his face in my neck, so I don’t shy away from him. Though he’d snuck in my room countless times, he had never crawled into bed with me before.
Wetness trickles down my neck—across my spaghetti-strapped shoulder, and I hear him sniff as if he’s crying.