Longing for Love

by Vicki Green

  I stare at the two of them laughing. He releases his grip, letting her slide down his body. The look in their eyes is full of love, caring. You can tell how much in love they are. I look over at Kane and notice he’s watching them too, trying to pretend he’s not.

  “I’m not sure everyone can change like that, even when they want to deep down.” I look over at her and smile. “One can only hope though, right?”

  Just as she reaches over and places her hand over mine, giving me her sweet smile, the loudness of chatter makes its way into our conversation. We both look up and see everyone walking up the deck steps, talking and laughing. Kane walks over and leans down, his hands on either side of me grasping the arms of the chair making his face very close to mine. “I’m gonna run up and take a shower. You gonna be okay?” His eyes search mine. Care and concern fill them and his face.

  “I’ll be fine,” I whisper, caught up in feelings that are becoming so much stronger.

  He relaxes and smiles. “Good. I feel like I’ve been throwing you to the wolves. I know you can handle it but I still feel like I shouldn’t leave your side.” Those brown eyes start to melt my soul with their intensity. “I feel like I need to protect you,” he whispers.

  I place my hand on his, my racing heart beating so hard that it’s making it hard to breathe with him so close. “I’ll be fine. But thank you for caring.” His eyes soften. His mouth turns up into a grin. All sounds fade into the background as we stare into each other’s eyes. I love how he doesn’t want to leave me, making me feel like he cares so much for me. I’ve never felt that from anyone except Charles but that’s different. Suddenly all the noises from those around us come back to life. I blink several times and smile. “The sooner you go, the quicker you’ll be back.” He blinks, like he’s been lost in me too. He stands, his grin still on his face.

  “I’ll be quick,” he whispers, his voice rough like it’s filled with the same emotion that’s inside me.

  I watch him as he walks into the house. He reaches back over his shoulder and fists his shirt, pulling it over his head as he enters. I swallow hard as I look at his broad back, longing to run my hand over the hard plains and muscles.

  “Bria?”

  I shake my head from my lustful thoughts and look up at Kane’s mom, feeling all kinds of embarrassment. “I’m sorry. Yes?” There’s a tremor in my voice. I feel warm and I know I have to be beet red.

  “We’re going into the kitchen to begin preparing for lunch. Would you like to join us?” Her smile is so inviting, reminding me of my mom.

  I stand, holding tight on my bottle of water. “I’d love to. May I help?” I follow her into the kitchen and watch as she pulls things from their refrigerator. She has an assembly line of food sitting on the breakfast bar by the time she’s done.

  “Oh. You’re our guest. You should just sit.” She gives me a smile, filling me with something that resembles motherly love.

  “Please. I hate being idle and watch you all do all the work.” I turn my head and see Taren and Irish sitting at the table. Irish is making hamburger patties while Taren makes some kind of potato and vegetable medley placing chunks in aluminum foil with cut up red onion, sprinkling them with seasonings and melted butter. I look back at Kane’s mom and smile. “Really, I’d love to help….” Suddenly, I’m embarrassed that I don’t even know her name.

  She sets down a large piece of waxed paper and sighs. “Oh, where are my manners? I’m Barb but you can call me Mom or Ma, everyone does.” She smiles and I can’t help but smile too. “That over there is Stan but everyone calls him Pop.” She leans in close and whispers, “Don’t let his grumpiness fool you. He has a big heart of gold.”

  “Mom!”

  My head turns and I watch Taren jump out of her chair, her hand holding her stomach as she jogs over to a woman walking through the doorway. I see Mimi standing behind this woman and I smile. “I’m sorry we’re late. Mimi was finishing up cooking some hash brown casserole for today.”

  Family.

  Love.

  It’s all around.

  Taren turns around. Her arm is laced through the woman’s arm and has a huge smile on her face. “Bria, this is my mom, Betty.”

  I walk over and reach out my hand. “It’s lovely to meet you, Betty.”

  I’m surprised and taken a little aback as she removes her arm from Taren and pulls me into a hug. My emotions are jarred being in her arms. I feel my tears brimming by the time she releases me and try to hold them back. I don’t know what’s come over me, the fact that it felt so good to be in a woman’s arms much like my mothers, or the fact that Kane brought me here – the first time he’s ever brought a girl home. Feeling overwhelmed, I smile and turn, walking back to the counter and grab a head of lettuce. Picking up a knife, I’m a bit giddy inside as I cut up the lettuce and put the pieces into the bowl Barb had set there.

  “It’s nice having everyone together,” Barb speaks and my eyes snap to hers. She smiles as she continues to roll out dough on a sheet of wax paper. “Family is important,” she continues, looking around the room. “It can be difficult if you don’t have those close to you anymore.” She’s making it even harder for me to keep my tears at bay. “Taren’s father was much like yours. Unfortunately, he learned too late that he needed to be with his family.” My eyes widen. “She’s fortunate to still have her mother though. I’m sure it would be very rough not to have either.”

  “How did you know that…?” My mouth opens but she interrupts my thoughts.

  “A mother knows these things.” She smiles, her eyes twinkling with the love of a mom. She looks down and places small balls of dough on a greased cookie sheet. She looks up at me, her smile never wavering. “I also have ears. Moms are just smart.” She winks and I let out a laugh.

  “Okay! Guys! Let’s get the cooking on!”

  I turn my head at Kane’s boisterous voice as he claps his hands then rubs them. He’s smiling as he walks into the kitchen and right to my side. I start cutting up a red onion for the salad when he looks into my eyes. “You okay?” I nod, sniffing and wiping away a tear with the back of my hand. I’m sure he probably thinks my tears are from the onion until he surprises me. “Everyone being nice to you? If not we can leave.” I look up at him – another tear escapes and rolls down my cheek. He reaches up and tenderly rubs his thumb across it.

  Soft.

  Caring.

  Sweet.

  I smile and give him a nod. “Everyone has been wonderful,” I reply, trying to keep the emotions from choking me and not letting it sound in my voice. His hand is still on my cheek, his thumb rubbing back and forth. Suddenly, he notices what he’s doing and pulls his hand back but smiles.

  “Good. We’re gonna go start grilling.” I give him another nod. He turns and takes a step but then turns back to me. “If you need me, I’m not far.” With that he winks and I watch him walk out the back door, feeling more emotions I didn’t know I had.

  The rest of the day is filled with happy conversations and laughing. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed that hard. My sides were sore by the time we said our goodbyes. Kane led me to his truck by his hand on my lower back, opening the door for me and helping me get inside. We ride in silence back to my house, my mind wondering what has him so quiet. He pulls in my driveway, gets out of the truck, and I watch him walk around the front and to my side. Once he opens my door, he holds out his hand, his face unreadable as I put mine in his. He walks me up to the front door, his eyes casted down, those long lashes fanning a small shadow over his cheeks. As we reach the porch, I’m suddenly apprehensive, unsure what he’s thinking about or if I did something wrong. I think back to the day and can’t find anything but laughter and a great time. I put the key in the front door, twisting it until it unlocks. Deciding to make light of the situation, I turn to him and smile.

  “Thank you for a lovely day. I really had a great time.” I roll my eyes internally at my choice of words. Isn’t that what the girl says in the movi
es to her date? “It was nice meeting your family and friends. I envy you.” Another internal roll. I’m rambling now, not knowing what to say. He looks up at me and in one beat he’s got his hand cupping the side of my face, his fingers threading into my hair as his mouth covers mine. I gasp in his mouth in the suddenness of his movements but quickly relax as his free arm wraps around me, pulling me closer. As we kiss, I can feel every hard plain of his chest against mine, his muscles twitching with the contact. My hands find their way to that broad chest as his tongue licks across my bottom lip asking for permission to enter. I grant it, opening my mouth and tasting his delicious tongue against mine. He lets out a groan, pulling me even closer, with my hands smashed between us. He releases my mouth and rubs his face against mine, the texture of his scruff so much softer than I’d imagined.

  “God, I couldn’t wait any longer,” he whispers. “I’m sorry. I….” He moves his hand under my hair, cupping the back of my neck. I pull back, just a breath away, our breathing labored.

  “I’m not sorry,” I whisper. “More.”

  His eyes search mine but he doesn’t hesitate and presses his lips against mine. Those tingling sensations from when we touch move throughout me. Does everyone feel this way or do I feel this because there’s something there, something unexplainable? I melt into his kiss, into him. My hands slide up his firm chest and around his neck. He tilts his head, deepening the kiss even more. I feel a little lightheaded, my heart beating so fast. He stops, pulls back a bit and looks into my eyes. His are a darkened shade of deep brown. “I’m not really sorry either.” He grins that sexy grin of his. I smile as he steps away, taking my hand in his, squeezing it. “I guess I’d better go. Work early in the morning.” I give him a nod and squeeze his hand back. He turns and starts to walk, our hands still together. It’s like he doesn’t want to leave as much as I don’t want him to go. He walks away slowly, our arms stretching, until he finally releases my hand. I don’t want to move but yet I don’t just want to stare as he leaves. I blindly reach behind me and grasp the doorknob, pushing the door open and backing up slowly into the house, my eyes still trained on him. I turn and close the door, looking out the side window beside it and watch him get into his truck. He pulls out of the driveway then looks my way as he starts driving down the street. I let out a big sigh.

  Smoky purrs at my feet so I bend over and pick her up, carrying her as I turn off the lights and make my way upstairs. I set her on my bed and then change into my sleeping attire, brush my teeth, remove my makeup and wash my face. Pulling my hair up, I fasten it into a ponytail then go to my office and get my laptop from my desk. After returning to my room, I sit on the bed and get comfortable, powering up my computer while Smoky gets comfortable against my side. I open my email program and wait as several pop up. One catches my attention so I open it.

  Brianna,

  It’s come to my attention that you are socializing with someone on one of the crews. You need to stop this immediately. There’s no room for anything other than Daniels Corporation business. Anything else will get in the way of our success. Have I not taught you anything? I will expect you to comply. I will see you on Tuesday in my office.

  Bradley Daniels

  CEO Daniels Corporation

  I let out a big sigh and shut off the computer, my mood changing to a heavy heart. I close it and set it on my nightstand and turn off the light. Turning on my side, I lay my head on my arm and pet Smoky with my other hand. “Always so formal, like he emailed an employee.” Smoky’s purring grows louder. “What I wouldn’t give for him to be a normal daddy.” My mind goes back to the wonderful day today and then to Kane kissing me. I smile. I refuse to let Daddy ruin my perfect day and evening. Closing my eyes, Kane fills all my thoughts.

  Chapter Nine

  Kane

  I’m changing. That’s the only thing I can think of as to why I wanted to spend time with Bria, kiss her, and didn’t want to leave her. I think I might be going crazy, thinking I don’t want just a one night stand with her. She’s too good for that. What in the fuck is wrong with me? I pull into my parking space, get out, and walk to my apartment. After stepping inside, I’m still thinking about her. Once I’ve gotten ready for bed, I climb in and under the covers, laying on my back with my arm beneath my head. Caylan’s been telling me when the right woman comes along, everything will change. I’ll change. I didn’t believe him but I’ll be damned if that’s not what I think is happening. It’s a little scary, thinking about having a one woman relationship. Will we get tired of each other? Wait! What if she doesn’t want a relationship? I know she’s classy, wouldn’t just have a one night stand. Would she? Crap! Now I’ve started thinking about why in the hell she’d want to be with me anyway? I mean, I’m a construction worker, no money except what I’ve put away over the years. I can’t give her any riches, things she’s used to, deserves. What the hell do I have to offer her?

  Love.

  Companionship.

  Caring.

  I guess there’s that but is that enough? Am I enough? All of these thoughts keep swarming my head as I finally close my eyes.

  * * * * * *

  “Mike! Pick that shit up! What’s wrong with you guys?” My mood seems to be of aggravation today. Not sure why but everything the crews are doing is wrong. “C’mon guys! We’re on a deadline here!” I rub my hand down my face and push up my hard hat. It’s hot today, not abnormal but I’m sweating to death on top of being anxious for some reason.

  “Kane, man what’s eating you today?” Caylan’s voice sounds behind me and I whirl around, ready to take his head off. The look of his concern stops me cold. He walks up to me and puts his arm around my shoulders. “Come on. Let’s go get some cold water.” I let him lead me behind the trailer and over to his truck. He opens the door and lifts the lid to his cooler, taking out two bottled waters and hands me one. He leans back against his truck and twists off the cap on his bottle, taking a big drink. I follow suit and relish the cool liquid. “Now, what’s up?”

  What do I tell him? That I’ve gone crazy? That all I can think about is the gorgeous dark haired woman who’s captured all my attention? How do I tell him he was right, telling me all along that someday the right woman would come along and end my womanizing ways but in the end I’m not sure that it will work out? That she’ll want me? How can I explain any of this when I don’t understand it myself?

  “C’mon, Kane. It can’t be that bad.” He gives me his bright smile and I lean against his truck beside him and try to relax.

  I grasp the lid on my bottle but don’t twist, instead turning my head and giving him a confused look. “Don’t say I told you so.”

  His smile lowers into seriousness. “I’d never do that, Kane. You’re like a brother to me.” He nudges my arm with his, a small grin appearing. “Okay, yeah, I would but something’s really bothering you so I won’t. Promise.”

  I breathe out a sigh of relief. “Well, it’s Bria. I – uh – well, I really like her and….”

  He pushes off his truck, turns around in front of me, and slaps his hands on his legs. “Ha! I knew it!” I bow my head. He just couldn’t stop himself. I look up when he grasps my arm. “Nah, man. Really. I’m sorry. So…. You really like her huh?” My grin appears as his brows raise. “That’s cool. You think she might be it? I mean, her? You know what I mean.”

  A low chuckle escapes me but then I become somber, nervous again. “I dunno, man. How do you know?” I look at him like he has all the answers. I remember he used to be like me, a different woman every night. Then, he met Irish. He had a hard time getting through to her stubborn heart but finally he did and that was it. It was like it changed everything for him and he’s happy. I mean, really happy. He turns and leans back against his truck and looks at me.

  “There’s no magical thing that happens, that tells you if she’s the one, but you’ll know in your heart, man. I mean – it sounds weird, I know. I never thought it would happen to me and BOOM….” He claps his
hands then smiles. “It hits you hard. Not saying that if she isn’t the right one there won’t be another woman who will come along and take your heart but I’m really happy for you, Kane. Bria seems like a nice woman. I hope it works out for you.” He stands up, getting ready to walk off when he turns and gives me his grin. “Just don’t sweat it though. It’ll drive ya nuts. Trust me. You, uh, might let up on everyone. Don’t think it’s their fault that you’re crazy over a woman.” He laughs, shaking his head, and I watch him walk away.

  He’s right. I shouldn’t let it get to me like this. Let her get to me. If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen. Right? I let out a sigh.

  The rest of the day went much smoother. I didn’t yell at anyone but I was more than anxious because I saw very little of Bria. But the few times I did, she smiled at me and made me feel better. After everyone had cleaned up everything and locked up all our tools and equipment, I head over to the trailer. When I walk in, I watch Irish sitting at the desk, Bria standing behind her looking over her shoulder. Irish looks up and smiles, giving me a wink.

  “Well. I guess I need to go. Caylan and I are having dinner over at the bar.” Bria stands aside, noticing me, and smiles. Irish pushes the chair back and walks around the desk then towards the door. She reaches me, her smile wide, and winks. “Don’t you all do anything I wouldn’t do.” I bow my head and chuckle as she walks out the door. I look up at Bria, her smile radiant but nervous.

  I start walking towards her as she walks towards me. We meet in the middle of the room, our smiles still on our faces. “And what are you doing this evening.” Her smile falters.

  “I have another business dinner to attend.” Her smile fades completely and my heart stops, briefly. I recover and give her a grin.

  “Maybe you should give me your phone number and let me know when you’re done. If it’s not too late maybe I could come over.” Her smile is back as I reach out and take her hand.