Longing for Love

by Vicki Green

  Me: Are you still sick? You missed work again.

  I look over my shoulder and pocket my phone, jogging over to help push up another wall then start hammering to set it in place. She doesn’t reply quickly. I start to worry. Finally, my pockets vibrates and I all but run across the wooden planks, pulling it out and reading, greedily.

  Bria: I’m fine. Thank u. Just some stuff came up. I’ll c u tomorrow night at the wedding.

  Tomorrow night? Not before? A weird feeling rolls over me. She’s not coming to the site and she doesn’t want to see me before tomorrow night? What’s going on? Why the change? I head towards the trailer, hoping to find answers there. Opening the door hard, it slams against the wall outside, echoing in the small trailer. Irish’s head snaps up, her eyes wide but then narrows at me. What did I do now? Not letting her deter me, I storm to the desk. “Where is she? What’s going on?” I growl.

  She slams her hands on the desk, almost making me jump. But I stand firm. “I don’t know but she’s upset. She said she had a meeting this morning and I can only guess it was with her loving father.”

  Son of a bitch!

  I turn, my hands balled into fists. I start to half walk-half jog to the open doorway. “Kane!” Stopping in my tracks, I turn my head over my shoulder. For once, Irish’s eyes are full of concern. “Be gentle, don’t assume. You have a habit of acting before you think sometimes.” Her mouth turns into a small smile but it’s full of sadness. I nod curtly and storm out of the trailer and jog to my truck. I hit the steering wheel as I drive like a bat out of hell, my thoughts jumbled, while anger consumes me. I’m sick of him treating her like shit, like she’s not his daughter but a meager employee. I’m sick of her not feeling loved. No one should feel that way especially by their own father. Suddenly a deeper appreciation enters me thinking about my family. They’ve always loved me unconditionally. I know they’ve always hated my womanizing ways, my living for the now instead of thinking about my future. I’ve always been truthful from the start to every woman I’ve bedded, but now, I see that was wrong. They have feelings, even those that said it was okay. That they didn’t expect more. They’re human. Hate seeps into my pores. Bria’s father. Myself. Did you not learn anything from the situation that happened to Caylan?

  Even after the woman who came to his door, claiming to be pregnant with his child, only to find out she lied, taught me nothing. I’m such an idiot. I don’t deserve Bria. She’s kind, caring, sweet, and deserves someone who’s good. Someone who will treat her with respect and love. She deserves better than me. But I’ve changed. I’m not the man I once was. I want her. Need her. I’ll do anything to make her happy, give her the love she always should have. Dammit!

  Chapter Fourteen

  Bria

  My day started off crappy and only got worse. First, I got a call that the metallic glass I ordered was backordered then I got a text to go to Daddy’s office. So impersonal, as always. I was more than anxious when I walked into the fourteen story building. I shivered as the feelings of power, professionalism, and strength overtook me. My palms became sweaty as I rode the elevator to the top floor, my heart beat rapidly as I walked towards his office, feeling like I could choke. Janine gave me a look of sadness and understanding as she nodded for me to go in. I stopped at his double doors and took a deep breath, knowing I’ll get berated once I’ve gone inside.

  “You’re late,” he grumbles bowing over the paperwork on his desk, never looking up as I close the door. “Sit,” he orders.

  I walk over and sit down on the uncomfortable high back leather chair in front of his desk, waiting for him to get on with it. He continues to write, ignoring my anxiousness. He always lets everything build up. Intimidates until you’re ready to explode before he begins his torture of being condescending.

  Finally, after an eternity of waiting, he looks up and places his pen down on the paperwork. “You disappoint me.” Of course I do. He sets his elbows on the desk and steeples his hands. “I’m not sure what’s going on but you’ve not had your head in the game with this project from the beginning. You’ve let crews destroy some of the building, costing me more money to repair. You’ve not filed your reports on time nor have you kept up with your clients.” I open my mouth to protest when he raises his brows and shakes his head. “You’ve taken off two days, with no warning. I’m quite surprised by all of this.” I clamp my mouth shut. He leans forward, keeping his position and gives me a grave look. “You’ve been hanging out with a lowlife and I’ll not allow it.”

  A lowlife? What in the hell? I stand, absolutely mortified and angry by his words. Folding my arms across my chest, I lower my brows becoming as serious as my anger is heated. “First of all.... While the “accident” at the site was an unfortunate one, it was repaired quickly and they not only corrected it but are ahead of schedule.” His brows raise and it’s his turn to look surprised. “Second, I did get a bit behind with the beginning of the construction but you will find that they have been on time since except for the last two days....” He opens his mouth but I stop him from breathing a word. “WHICH is due to the fact that I was very ill. Yes, and thank you, Father, for wondering why on earth I would suddenly take off two days when in the last two years I’ve not even taken a vacation day.” His mouth shuts quickly. I lean down, my hands flat on his desk, bringing us close. Too close. “And Kane Evans is not a lowlife, far from it. His father owns the construction business that’s leading the construction of the building and Kane runs it plus, his parents own a quaint little bar not too far away that has the most amazing food. I’ve already recommended it to several clients, a few which have already been there due to me and loved it.” I stand up straight, flattening my hands down my pencil shirt. “Now, if you’ll excuse me. I have work to do.”

  I turned swiftly, marching my way to the door, not giving him a chance to retaliate. Once I open the door, I turn and look at him from over my shoulder. He hasn’t moved but I can tell I have shocked him silent. “By the way. Being that I’m twenty-two years old and considered legally an adult, my love life is none of your business and I’ll thank you to stay out of it.” I whip back around and walk out of the door, letting it close behind me. My hands are shaking and my heart is beating so fast I feel that I could choke on it as I storm past Janine and towards the elevators, keeping my eyes straight ahead. I feel like I could be sick. I’ve never stood up to him before.

  I cried all the way home. Not because he hurt me with his words, not really. I’m pretty used to that but I was so relieved that I stood up to him. I’m sure I haven’t gotten the last word, I never do. I make a quick decision and stop at the convenience shop around the corner from my house and purchase a twenty-four pack of bottled beer, chips, and dip and make my way home. After getting inside, I change my clothes, petting Smoky on my bed while hopping out of my skirt, into a pair of jean shorts and a halter top. I pull my hair up into a high ponytail, grab the small cooler downstairs, filling it with ice and all my goodies, grab my blanket and head out the backdoor to my favorite place. My little slice of heaven. My peace.

  Once down the stone steps, I walk out a little ways, set the cooler down, and spread out the blanket. I sit down, pull off my flip flops, open the lid to the cooler and grab a beer. Once I’ve twisted off the cap I take a long drink, the breeze blowing my ponytail around, the smell of salt and sand infiltrating my senses. After today, this is exactly what I need. An escape.

  A couple of hours later, I’m on my fifth beer and have eaten half the bag of chips and most of the dip. I might be a little tipsy.

  “Mind if I join you?”

  Without turning, his low, gruff voice sends shivers throughout my body as goose bumps spread across my skin. Wetness pools in between my legs from only his voice. I peek over my shoulder and see him standing just a few feet away. I can’t help the smile that fans across my face. “Of course you can.” I watch him walk over. He has jeans on, a navy wifebeater, showing his magnificent tattoos that I want to trace with
my finger. Those tingling sensations that are becoming familiar fill me as I watch him sit down next to me, my heart rate increasing with every ripple of his muscles. Those brown eyes look deeply into mine but I see the smile in them.

  “Got an extra?” His eyes move to my beer and I nod, picking up the cooler lid and fishing one out for him. I reach out and as he takes it our fingers brush. Instantly, our eyes snap to each other’s. He has to feel that too. By the look in his eyes and the grin on his face, I believe he did. We both look out at the ocean, watching the tide roll in and out, mesmerizingly. I take another drink and a small hiccup escapes my lips. I laugh softly.

  “Just how many of these have you had, Kitten?”

  I look over and see him grinning and relax knowing he’s teasing me. “Uh, this will be my….” I lift the lid to the cooler, place the empty inside, pick up a full one, and twist off the cap. “Sixth.” I take a hearty drink and wipe my mouth with the back of my arm. I give him a smile and he laughs. God, he has a great laugh. I felt that all the way down to my core. We stare, not moving, then – I hiccup. “Oops.” I giggle and take another drink. He lays back on his side, leaning on his arm and takes a drink.

  “I thought I’d find you here. Heard you had a little bit of a rough day.” My brows raise, my eyes widen, but then the look of worry on his gorgeous face softens mine. Shrugging my shoulders, I take another gulp. “You don’t have to tell me. Just wanted you to know that I am a good listener.” He winks, takes another swig, and I think my panties are now even wetter. Damn.

  I turn on my side, mimicking him, and smile. “I’m okay. Just same shit, different day.” I take another drink and sigh.

  “Your dad?” He all but growls.

  I shrug again. I mean, what’s the use in talking about it, reliving it in my head. He’ll just do it again another day. I’d like to say I’m used to it but it never gets easier. “I was kinda proud of myself.” His face lightens. “I stood up for myself but it didn’t really help. Made me feel a bit better though.” A breeze blows across us, cooling down my warm skin. A few long strands of my hair that had come out of my ponytail blow over my face. I start to bring my hand up but he’s much quicker. His touch is soft, tender, as he brushes the tendrils from my face and places them behind my ear, leaving his hand cupping the side of my face. My breathing picks up, my eyes glued to his. I can’t move. My chest is rising and falling so rapidly. He moves towards me slowly, so slowly.

  He’s going to kiss me.

  Do I want him to kiss me?

  Oh, yes. Please.

  “You are a strong woman,” he whispers as his face inches closer to mine.

  I nod, my eyes moving from his eyes to his mouth then back to his eyes.

  He looks at my lips, moving closer still. “You’re an amazing woman who deserves so much.” His hand tightens and I can feel the warmth of his breath. Finally, I close my eyes as his lips press against mine. I have little experience in kissing but I can tell he’s an expert as he takes my breath away. His tongue barely swipes my lower lip and I part them as an invitation. I want to experience this with him. I want to experience everything as long as it’s with him. Our tongues tangle, wet against wet. I feel like I’m about to hiccup when a moan moves through my chest, rumbles up my throat and into his mouth. “God, Bria,” he whispers. Taking my beer from me, he takes my hand and places them on the sand and begins kissing a trail over my jaw. His body inches its way over mine, his hand guiding me until I’m lying down. He keeps kissing and sucking my delicate flesh until he’s reached my mouth. “You taste heavenly,” he murmurs against my lips. Suddenly, even with the cool breeze my skin flushes, making me warm. His hand leaves my face and brushes lightly between my breasts, down my ribs, and over my stomach. The wetness in between my legs has multiplied. My skin is on fire with his fingers blazing a trail. “Is this okay?” he asks, suddenly stopping and looking into my eyes.

  He’s asking my permission.

  Now?

  He can’t stop now!

  I nod, my hand moving across his broad chest, feeling his muscles twitch. His hand cups me between my legs and even though it’s over my shorts, I cry out. “Ah!” His mouth covers mine as he begins to rub. My body takes over and my hips begin to move with his hand. God, I’ve never felt anything like this. It hit me so hard. I can feel my panties are soaked but I can’t stop. I don’t want to stop. His thumb presses down on my aching clit and I about come off the blanket. Can someone have an orgasm with their clothes on? With the feeling of butterflies flying around in my stomach, a small burning in my core that seems to be fueling, I’m wondering if it can happen.

  “God, I’d love to feel your skin, kiss all over your body.”

  He’s killing me but it’s a slow, delicious death.

  “Maybe we should move inside.” He leans up and nibbles on my lobe, his warm breath blowing in my ear. “Get more – comfortable.”

  His hand moves faster, his thumb pressing down and rubbing. “No!” I scream. “Don’t stop.” I feel his smile against my skin. His hand continues its sweet torture. The thought that someone could catch us makes this so much hotter.

  “Relax,” he whispers. “Let me help you.” His hand rubs faster, harder. My legs seem to spread more of their own accord. “God. I wish I was inside you.” Those words, so sexy, filled with promise, set me off. The burning below builds until it erupts, moving up my body in a fast pace. My eyes roll back in my head as pleasure overtakes me, my breathing coming out in pants. His tender touch sweeps over my face as I open my eyes slowly. “Hey.” He smiles. His arm laying down on my chest, rising and falling with my heavy breathing. I smile back.

  “Hey.”

  God! I’ve never felt anything like it. It was – indescribable. Amazing. Exploding. My entire body tingled. The crescent of the buildup set off and blinded me. I look over his face. It’s almost – reverent.

  “That was incredible,” I whisper, the only thing that entered my mind. My panties feel like they’re stuck to me, my legs still trembling from my bliss but feel weak.

  He smiles. “Let me help pack up everything and get you inside.” I can only nod, feeling like I can’t move. My legs feel like Jello. So worth it. He sits up on his knees and reaches out his hand. I place mine in his. Warmth. He picks up the now warm beers from the sand, takes a couple of steps and pours out the small contents into the grass, then places the empties in the cooler. I walk off the blanket intending on helping by picking it up, but I struggle to move still. He’s rendered me immobile. He doesn’t hesitate. He bends over, picking it up and then stands up, watching me as he folds it. His eyes smolder into mine, the browns darkening to almost black. They touch me all the way down to my core. He bends down, grasps the coolers handle and picks it up effortlessly while tucking the blanket under his arm. He walks to me, takes my hand, and leads me up the stone steps. I follow obediently, hoping beyond hope that he’ll not want to leave, that he’ll want to kiss me again. Touch me.

  He opens the back door, stepping aside, and allows me to walk in. I start to walk into the kitchen when he grabs my upper arm, turning me swiftly, and backs me up against the wall. His mouth claims mine. His strong hands grasp my wrists and pulls my arms up over my head, pinning them against the wall. God, that was hot! He pushes his tongue into my mouth, not asking for permission. I’d have given it anyway. I love when he’s a bit forceful, taking what he wants. His lips suddenly leave mine, mine still wet from his, and he begins kissing across my jaw, up my cheek, and over to my ear. His breath yet warm, sends shivers down my body. “I want you so badly,” he whispers. He pulls back, his eyes searching mine, asking a question only I can answer.

  He wants you.

  He wants to be inside you.

  He wants to make love to you.

  Okay, making love might be too strong. He wants to fuck you.

  I shiver again and nod, giving my silent approval. I’ve never wanted anything so much in my life. Unable to move too much with my arms pinned, I lean
forward and take his mouth. Bold for me but he brings it out in me. I was brought up proper, that the man initiates everything. Has the control. As I press my mouth against his, push my tongue inside, I feel strong, free, and unhindered. His moan is low, guttural. He likes that I took a little control. Suddenly, my arms drop, and I’m weightless in his arms. His mouth never leaves mine as he carries me through the room. My arms weave around his neck. My hand rubs over his head as he takes me to a place I know I’m ready to go. I thought he’d take me to the couch, the closest place, until I feel the soft mattress below me. We’re all mouths, arms, hands. My panties are already soaked for him. I’ve never felt this inhibited. This free. This needy, wanting.

  His hand smooths down between my breasts, down, down, until he’s reached the hem of my shirt. He releases my mouth, looking into my eyes, into the depths of my soul. His breathing is labored, much like mine, as he asks again for my permission. I think I nod, I’m not sure, but he takes it as a yes and leans back, settling between my already spread legs, onto his heels. I watch him as he pulls my shirt up, uncovering parts of me he’s never seen, parts no one has laid their eyes on before. I feel like I can’t breathe, partly because I’m holding my breath as I raise up enough for him to pull my shirt off. I lay back down, suddenly stiffening, as he leans over me, reaching behind my back and unclasping my bra. He tenderly and slowly pulls down each strap, a cool breeze wafts across me as he removes it completely. My eyes snap to his smoldering ones and my nipples peak and harden with his gaze.

  “You’re so lovely. Beautiful,” he whispers reverently.

  I let out the breath I’d been holding.

  His eyes scan across my body. Every piece of my exposed skin. He leans down, capturing a bud in his mouth, his free hand covering my other breast. I arch my back, pushing into his mouth more. God! He ignites every sensation, every sense. It’s almost overwhelming. I let out a moan as he kneads my breast, tweaking my nipple with his finger and thumb as he sucks on the other, hard, then tender. I grab his shoulders, squeezing, as his teeth nip and then his lips suck. My hips buck and I feel just how hard he is between my legs. God, he feels huge. Will that even fit inside me?