by Eve Gaddy
Their waiter, all decked out in black pants, a white button-down dress shirt, a red tie, and a black dress jacket appeared, and after a long discourse about the magnificent wine menu, asked what they would have to drink.
“I’ll have a beer,” Sean said. “Whatever’s on tap. Do you want white wine or red, Honey?”
Biting her cheek to keep from laughing, she asked for red.
“The house wine okay with you?”
Honey nodded.
“The lady will have the house red,” he said loftily. “Oh, and, Waiter, make sure the beer is cold, would you?”
The waiter’s chest puffed out and he somehow managed to look down his nose without actually doing it. “Certainly, sir.”
Honey managed to wait until he was out of earshot to let loose with a peal of laughter. “Oh, my God, his expression was priceless.”
“I was going to order a nice bottle of wine until he gave us a twenty minute lecture on their magnificent wine menu. I’m sure the house wine is good. You don’t mind, do you?”
“No, of course not. I’d have paid to see his reaction, especially when you told him to make sure your beer was cold.”
The waiter brought their drinks and they toasted to Honey’s recovery. They even managed to order dinner without further scandalizing the man.
“Tell me about Halo. How was your ride?” Sean asked during the first course, a house salad with dried cranberries and candied pecans on a bed of varied greens.
“She’s doing great. I’m so thankful to be riding again. We had a nice, long ride and Halo was a perfect angel.”
His lips quirked. “Hence the name.”
Honey laughed. “Corny, but true. I guess the real test will be how she does running barrels.”
“Are you still worried about her?”
“No. Well, a little.” Sean didn’t say anything, but continued to look at her. “Okay, yes, I’m worried. Not of simple riding, she’s obviously at ease in that situation, but running barrels—I just don’t know. She’s fallen before and never reacted like she did this last time. If Halo can’t run barrels anymore, I—I don’t even like to think about it.”
“You’d have to get another barrel horse. But you’d still keep Halo, wouldn’t you?”
“Of course I would. I’ll never give up Halo.”
“I’d have been shocked if you did. She’s a great horse.”
The waiter whisked away their salad plates and replaced them with their entrées. Steak for Sean and Tournedos with a delicious Bearnaise sauce for Honey. The Chef’s Special Scalloped Potatoes, sautéed vegetables, and crusty French bread completed the meal.
Honey took a bite and almost moaned. “This is delicious. How is yours?”
“It lives up to what I’ve been told about this place.”
Honey continued where they left off. “If I do have to get another horse to run barrels, I’ll never be able to afford a horse like Halo.”
“I wouldn’t worry yet. Do you want me to come have a talk with her before you try barrels?”
She smiled at his description of what he did. Not whisper. Oh, no. But he’d ‘have a talk’ with her. But she didn’t point out that he was being illogical. “I’d really appreciate that. But that won’t be for a while, obviously.”
“Have you had Halo since she was a foal?”
“No, she was around two when I bought her. I’d had to retire my barrel horse and of course, I didn’t have a lot of money. I was scanning the ads and one jumped out at me. The price was ridiculously cheap, but it was her name that really got me. Honey’s Halo. We were obviously meant to be.”
“That’s a great name for her, aside from the connection to you.”
“Her previous owner didn’t think so. He even tried to talk me out of buying her. He said, “Well, she’s pretty, but she’s dumb as a box of rocks.”
“What? That horse is smart. Really smart.”
“I know. I don’t think she liked the guy or maybe it was the place. He didn’t mistreat her, they just didn’t get along. So I brought her home, trained her and we’ve been together ever since.”
“A match made in Heaven.”
Honey groaned. “Tell me you didn’t say that.”
He laughed and patted her hand. “I couldn’t resist. You two obviously have a special bond.”
“Then why couldn’t I help her when she was so freaked out?”
“You weren’t doing great the first time you saw her. You were only a few days post-surgery and still on pain medicine. Remember you said you couldn’t stay long because you felt so crappy? Maybe she picked up on that.”
“That doesn’t explain what happened the next time.”
“You were awfully wound up, Honey. You freaked out a little yourself.”
Annoyed that he was right, she shrugged.
Sean went on. “Did Halo know you were hurt when it happened?”
“I’m sure she did. Martha told me that instead of running back through the gate, which is what almost all of them do, once she got up she came right over to where I was lying and nudged me. She said Halo got really upset when I didn’t respond, and even more when the EMTs took over and the crew led her away.”
“I’m not surprised. You and Halo have a special bond, so it’s very likely she sensed you were really hurt.”
Her horse had known she’d been hurt, but her father had been totally oblivious. What was wrong with that picture?
She continued. “Talon, the assistant vet, checked her over and cleared her of physical injury. When Tanner, Tucker and Talon got her back to the ranch, they tried everything they could think of, but nothing helped her. And obviously, I couldn’t be with her, although now I’m not sure it would have helped anyway. Her regular vet, Noah Sullivan, checked her out too, and he was as baffled as everyone else.”
Everyone except the horse whisperer who didn’t believe in horse whisperers.
Chapter Nineteen
“What’s this?” Honey pulled out the piece of paper wedged in her door. “It’s from the landlord,” she said, scanning it as they walked inside. “Oh, crap! My lease is up in less than two weeks. With everything that’s been going on, I’d totally forgotten about that.”
“Is it going to be a problem to renew?”
Frowning, she tossed the paper on the coffee table and sat on the couch beside him. “No. Except that they’re going up on the rent. And I don’t think I can find anywhere else to live that would be cheaper except the Sunset apartments near the railroad tracks.”
“You don’t want to live there. Those apartments were sketchy years ago and they’re worse now.”
“No, I don’t want to, but I may not have a choice.”
“You could move in with me.”
She stared at him in surprise. He didn’t look like he was joking. “Are you serious?”
“Of course I am. I wouldn’t ask you if I wasn’t.”
It shocked her how much she wanted to say yes and to hell with any problems. “You are so sweet to offer. But I can’t.”
“Why not?”
Because if I lived with you I’d never be able to leave you for weeks or months at a time. “Living together is a big step. A serious step. Far more serious than we agreed on.”
“Hate to tell you, Honey, but that agreement bit the dust a long time ago.” He took her hand and held it, rubbing his thumb over her palm. “Has it occurred to you that what we have going here is more than a fling?”
“No. It’s not.”
He half-smiled. “You’re awfully quick to answer that,” he said softly.
Because she had to be. “We said from the first that both of us wanted a no strings, fun affair.”
“That’s true. And we’ve had that. But now there’s more.”
Damn it, he was right. “Sean, I really like you,” she said, trying not to sound desperate. “You know that. But what’s between us isn’t serious.”
“Isn’t it? We’ve had some deep conversations about things we
haven’t told many people. Other than when your brothers were here, or if I was working, we’ve hardly spent a night apart since we met.”
Honey jumped up and began to pace. “That’s just sex. We’re together a lot because we’re both enjoying the sex. And we know it’s going to end as soon as I’m well enough to rodeo again.”
“Are you telling me that’s all it is? Great sex and that’s it?”
“I’m saying that’s the way it has to be. We can’t have a serious relationship. I can’t have a committed relationship with someone who is tied to Marietta.” It wouldn’t work, even though Sean couldn’t see that. “You aren’t thinking about what’s going to happen once I can run barrels again. I’ll be gone all the time. It wouldn’t be fair to you to keep you tied down when I’m hardly ever here.”
“Is that the truth, or are you just letting me down easy?”
“I’m not letting you down easy. I’m trying to look at this situation—at us—realistically.”
“There’s an obvious solution to this problem.”
“Not that I can see.” Not as long as Buster was an issue.
“You could tell your father you won’t take on his jobs anymore and stay in town as much as you want.”
Unable to sit any longer, she got up to pace. “You know I can’t do that.”
Sean got up too. “Can’t or won’t?”
“Does it matter? I thought you understood my reasons.” To give herself something to do, she walked over to the dining table and began moving fabrics and patterns around.
“Tell me something,” Sean said. “Have you enjoyed being in Marietta since your accident? Once you weren’t in pain, that is.”
“You know I have.” She didn’t have to think about it. Of course she had. Not only being with Sean, but also because her father hadn’t asked her to do anything except that one time. Apparently what Sean had said had made him think, or more likely, he was afraid to ask her again with Sean around. She’d been so mad at Sean for interfering, but now she was glad he had. It had given her a taste of what her life would be like if she could say no to her father.
“Do you like being on the road so much?”
“Sometimes,” she said honestly. “I like running barrels. There are parts of it I don’t like, but that’s true of almost anything.” Life on the road wasn’t easy. Especially when she felt like she couldn’t come home when she wanted. If she could make a living another way, would she? If she didn’t have to contend with her father and his demons, she thought she could be as happy teaching others to barrel race as she was doing it herself. Oh, she wouldn’t give up competition completely. But if she could scale back… She could work on the purses more. If they had time to put into it, that business might really take off. But all that was a pipe dream.
“It’s what I do,” she said harshly. “I have to make a living somehow.”
“How do your winnings balance out against what you spend hitting every event you can?”
She’d done the math. If she cut down on the events, she’d have more money. Events cost money. Entry fees, travel expenses, the list went on and on. But that wasn’t the issue. Was Sean being deliberately obtuse?
“You’re trying to talk me out of running barrels, aren’t you?”
“No, not at all. I don’t care if you do it every weekend, if that’s what you really want to do. But is it?”
“It’s how I make my living,” she repeated. “Whether I want to be on the road all the time or not doesn’t matter. I have to be on the road to make any money.” That wasn’t totally true, and judging by the skepticism apparent in his expression, Sean knew it.
He got up and stood looking down at her. “It also gets you out of Marietta and away from your father.”
“Yes, it does. Do we have to go over this again?”
“No.” His expression had moved from irritated to angry. “You’ve made your feelings perfectly clear. I’m the one who’s been dense about it.” He turned his back and walked to the door.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m leaving.”
“You don’t have to go.” Not yet.
“There’s no point in staying. No point at all.”
“Are you—are you breaking up with me?”
He laughed harshly. “I’d say you took care of that yourself.” Without another word, he left.
*
“Tanner, I can’t thank you enough for letting me rent this apartment,” Honey said, a few days after the shit hit the fan with Sean. “I wasn’t looking forward to living at the Sunset apartments by the railroad tracks.”
“No, they’re not the best place for you to live. We have plenty of room.” Tanner looked around the small apartment in the equestrian barn above the tack room. “Funny, I don’t remember it being so small when I lived in it. Are you sure you won’t live in the rooms we have at the house?”
“You’re a sweetheart to offer but I couldn’t do that. Besides, this apartment is great.” It had everything she needed. Though it was small, only about six hundred square feet, it had a high sloped ceiling and a skylight that opened, which gave it a more airy, open feeling. One wall was all windows looking out over the arena and a number of the horse stalls. She was looking forward to following the action in the arena.
The kitchenette was small, but serviceable and the bath, though small as well, was efficiently designed and quite pretty, with tiled walls and a shower. There was a queen-sized Murphy bed with bookshelves on each side, and table that pulled down from the Murphy bed when it was up.
She’d stored her furniture and almost everything else, except her fall and winter clothes, a little tack she’d kept at her apartment, her sewing machine and purse-making supplies. She brought along a folding card table she planned to set up as her workstation.
Everything was perfect. Except for the fact she and Sean had broken up and it was mostly her fault.
“Honey, are you all right?”
“Yes, of course. I was thinking about something.”
Tanner looked at her sympathetically. “I’m sorry about you and Sean.”
Doing her best to look indifferent, Honey shrugged. “It’s nothing. We were just having fun.”
“Even so, I’m sorry to hear it.”
To Honey’s horror, her eyes filled with tears. Damn Sean, she never cried. Not unless she had broken a bone, anyway. She turned to the wall of windows, staring blindly out at the arena. Tanner put her hand on Honey’s shoulder and squeezed.
“If you want to talk, I’m here.”
“I don’t even want to think about it. But thanks.” She drew in a deep breath and willed the tears away. “How is life treating you and Luke? I’m so glad you two got together.”
Tanner’s face lit up. “I am too. I wasn’t sure we would.”
“You two deserve to be happy.”
“Thanks. I’ll let you get settled now.” She stopped at the door. “Honey? You deserve to be happy too.”
That didn’t seem to be in the cards for her. At least, not right now.
It didn’t take her long to unpack and store everything she’d brought with her. As she was leaving the apartment to go down to the stables and see about Halo, her cell phone rang.
For a moment hope flared, but then she saw the caller ID. Buster. Wasn’t that typical?
“What do you need, Buster?”
“Where the hell are you, Honey? I’m at your apartment and your landlord told me you moved out.”
“My lease was up and they were raising the rent, so I moved into another apartment.”
“A new apartment? Where?”
He sounded panicky. He thought she’d moved away. “I’m at the Triple T.”
“Oh. Out there with the McTavishes.” Relief was evident in his voice. “I thought—I wondered if you’d moved in with that doctor you were seeing. Your landlord either didn’t know or didn’t want to tell me.”
“Sean and I broke up.”
“You did? Well, I never d
id think he was the right fellow for you.”
You didn’t think so because you knew it would be harder for you to run roughshod over me if I was involved with Sean. “If that’s all, I have to go.”
“Now that you mention it, could you help me out tomorrow, Honey? Your arm’s well by now, isn’t it?”
“No.”
“No you can’t help me out, or no your arm’s not well?”
“Both. I’ll talk to you later.” She hung up before he could do more than sputter, silencing her phone as she put it in her pocket. This is why you and Sean broke up, she thought. Because you can’t say no to someone who doesn’t give a damn about you.
But this time she had said no. The question was, what would Buster do now?
You’re not responsible, Sean had told her. Not for the jobs, or the drinking, or any of it.
Why did she have such a hard time believing that?
Chapter Twenty
A week later, Sean opened his apartment door to his brother Dylan. If he hadn’t let him in Dylan would have pounded on the door until he did, so he gave in to the inevitable.
“Hi, bro. Damn, you look like shit. Honey really did a number on you, didn’t she?”
“Fuck off,” he told him and tried to shut the door.
Dylan had wedged his foot in the doorway, though, and he put his shoulder into it and shoved the door open the rest of the way. “Now, now. Is that any way to talk to your favorite brother?” He strolled over to the couch and made himself comfortable, propping his boots up on the coffee table.
“You’re not my favorite. At the moment you’re the one whose ass I want to kick.”
“Got any beer?” Dylan asked, ignoring him. “Never mind. You’re bound to.” He went to the kitchen and returned with a can. Popped the top and looked at Sean critically. “You look like you’ve been on a three-day drunk.”
“I haven’t,” he snarled.
“Don’t you have to work?”
“What’s it to you?”
“God, you’re crabby. I’ve got a favor to ask you.”
Sean stared at him. “So you come in and tell me I look like I’ve been on a three-day bender?”