“Was the prince dressed like a woman?” Toko asked.
Ear looked puzzled and Sugaru and the others looked at her so incredulously that she blushed. “I’m sorry. It’s nothing,” she said. “You were saying?”
“Even I have no way of knowing what happened that night. But something must have caused them to fall out. The prince was planning to leave Izumo peacefully the next day, but in the middle of the night the hall was consumed in a sea of flames. It was all I could do to save Her Highness and Lady Kisako. I had no time to gather any information.”
They came to a house surrounded by a wooden fence. Although deep in the mountain wood, it was neat, clean, and attractive. A young woman appeared when Ear called. As she approached, they saw that it was Kisako.
“Toko, you’re back! And you’ve found the magatama, haven’t you?” Kisako was smiling. In the short time that Toko had been gone, Kisako seemed to have acquired a poise she did not have before. She certainly did not look like someone whose home had just burned down. Wearing a pretty red skirt over a light robe, she looked positively resplendent compared to Toko, who was still covered in the grime of the journey.
“We just saw what’s left of the hall,” Toko said. “I’m so relieved to see that you’re safe. It must have been terrible.”
“Yes, a lot has happened since you left. But I’m sure not nearly as much as has happened to you. I even gained a little weight. Toko, you look thinner.”
“Really?”
“Lady Toyoao wants to meet with you. She’s been bedridden for the last while, but when she heard you were here she insisted on seeing you. Do you mind going to her right away? She gets tired even more easily than before.” Kisako spoke in a gentle voice without any hidden barbs. Perhaps some of Lady Toyoao’s mannerisms had rubbed off on her. Though Toko was a little surprised, she nodded and rose quickly.
As soon as she had gone, Kisako’s expression turned prim, for now she had to face Sugaru. “Please follow me. I am afraid that we cannot offer you much hospitality,” she said in an icy voice, then stood and began to lead the way.
Unfazed by this treatment, Sugaru smiled at her and said, “I’m so glad to see that you’re well. You’re even more beautiful than before. I was planning to slaughter Prince Ousu if anything had happened to you.”
Kisako glared at him. “You’re such a smooth talker, aren’t you? I doubt that you remembered me even once. I’m sure there must have been many beautiful women in the west.”
“I never forgot you.”
“Liar.”
“I’m not lying. You’re the only girl I’ve met who has ever hit me three times. How could I forget you? That was a pretty powerful wallop. You reminded me a little of my grandfather.”
Kisako flushed bright red and her hands curled into fists. Doubtlessly she would have loved to slap Sugaru once more, but instead she turned on her heel and hurried into the adjoining room.
“Sugaru, you’re terrible,” Tasuki said, looking at him in disbelief.
“I just can’t help thinking that she’s quite beautiful. Especially when she’s angry,” Sugaru said.
“Thanks to you,” Imatate said gloomily, “I’d be surprised if we got even a cup of water.”
LADY TOYOAO’S ROOM was kept closed and just as dimly lit as her room in the Miyatsuko’s hall. Sitting up in her bed with a thin shawl around her shoulders, she looked as frail as ever. Toko entered quietly and sat down, feeling a little nervous. “There are no words to adequately express my condolences. How fortunate though that we can meet again,” Toko said somewhat stiffly.
Lady Toyoao went straight to the point. “Toko, I remember you called Prince Ousu ‘that boy.’ You told me that you were raised together. But you didn’t tell me what kind of person he was, did you?” Her voice was still as quiet as a breeze, yet Toko sensed something fierce within it that had not been there before.
“Lady Toyoao,” she said.
“I met the prince. He spoke with me. We didn’t talk about anything important. He was courteous throughout, but, oh, did he always have that voice even when he was a child?”
Startled, Toko felt her pulse begin to race. “I don’t understand what you mean.”
“No, I suppose you wouldn’t. You are not dependent solely on the sounds of voices like I am. But ever since I heard his voice I seem to see things differently. Even though Prince Ousu killed my brother the Kuni no Miyatsuko, even though he almost burned me to death, I don’t know why, but—” She gave a long, trembling sigh. “Why is it that I want to weep for him?”
Toko was stunned. Lady Toyoao had in fact begun to weep quietly. “I cannot forget his voice. How could a prince of Mahoroba sound so forlorn? He’s more pitiful than a bird separated from its flock or a leaf from its branch. What can he have lost that he should be so devoid of hope? No one can go on living like that.” She wiped her eyes on her sleeve and continued. “Even if no one else might notice it, I could tell. Because we are similar in some ways. Because we both know the loneliness that comes from being different. But I do not have the power to heal him. Sympathy or pity will not reach him. All I can do for him is weep.”
Toko hesitated for a moment and then said, “Lady Toyoao, what are you trying to tell me? I’m sorry to be so rude, but …”
“Lady Toko, can you pity Prince Ousu?” Lady Toyoao asked.
“No,” Toko said flatly. “He should be destroyed. He’s the enemy. You can’t defeat an enemy if you feel sorry for him.”
“You’re quite right.” Lady Toyoao sighed. “You are like a pure rushing stream. With your strength and fortitude, perhaps … You will not give up hope and in the end you will achieve your goal. So at least allow me to pity him.”
Toko left the room feeling unsettled. Her head seemed very heavy. She went out into the garden to cool her flushed face. After standing for a while in the wind she finally realized what was bothering her. Lady Toyoao was saying that she not only met Prince Ousu but that she liked him. And she was criticizing me indirectly. Why? It wasn’t fair. Lady Toyoao didn’t realize how desperately Toko clung to this one thing. She did not even attempt to see that Toko was as forlorn and lonely as Ousu; that was why Toko had staked everything on revenge.
Kisako finally came looking for her and was surprised to see her standing all alone. “Toko, I was wondering where you were. What’s wrong? Dinner’s ready.”
Toko turned a desperate gaze on Kisako. “I’m going to Mahoroba. I can’t waste any more time. I have to find the next magatama.”
“What are you talking about? You can’t possibly mean right now.”
“Yes, right now.”
The smile faded from Kisako’s lips. “Toko, you’re acting very strange.”
Toko shook her head. “If I don’t leave as soon as possible, I won’t make it in time. I won’t make it. I have to get the Misumaru before I change my mind. I’ve got to get it.”
Ignoring Toko’s protests, Kisako placed a hand on her forehead and then exclaimed, “Honestly, Toko! You’re such a child. You’re burning with fever. You never pay attention to your own body.”
“HOW’S TOKO?” Tasuki asked Sugaru, who had just returned to their room.
“Her fever’s pretty bad. She drank a little gruel and now she’s sleeping. Kisako’s taking care of her.” He looked contrite. “She collapsed this afternoon, remember? I should have realized then that something was wrong. She’s been overdoing it.”
“We kept up a pretty stiff pace on the way back, didn’t we?” Tasuki agreed.
“Toko never complains,” Imatate said. “That’s why we forget to go easy on her. Even though she’s a woman.”
“She doesn’t act like one. That’s the problem.”
“No,” Sugaru said. “The problem is that she doesn’t want to be one.”
The moon, already high, threw faint shadows across the room. They were all silent for a while, thinking their own thoughts, until finally Tasuki spoke. “What are you going to do, Sugaru?”
> “Toko’s talking about going to Mahoroba. Even now in her delirium. There’ll be no stopping her, I guess.”
Imatate suddenly said, “Why don’t you give her your magatama? Like Lady Iwa gave hers to you. Toko wants a magatama. That’s all she thinks about. So why not give her yours?”
“Yeah, why not?” Tasuki said. “Look at the state of Izumo. Lady Hayakitsu said we should help the people in our own land. Why don’t you let Toko take on the Tachibana mission, whatever it is? I bet she could do it.”
Sugaru lay on his stomach, his chin resting on his folded arms. Then he finally said, “Because I don’t want to. I don’t want to give the magatama to Toko.”
“Why? Is it that hard to give up their power once you’ve used them?”
“No. But I don’t want to give that power to Toko. She’s totally focused on defeating Prince Ousu, but she doesn’t have a clue what that means. She’s got guts, but she’s only a kid. You saw her just now. She’s pushing herself too hard.”
“Are you planning to go with her then? To the very end?”
“It might come to that.”
“Are you serious?”
Sugaru sat up. “Her quest has something to do with me. We weren’t brought together just by chance. If Toko is going to take revenge against the bearer of the Sword, then I have to help her. And if she fails, I’ll have to finish the job. Although I doubt Toko has even thought of that.”
After a moment, Imatate gave a short laugh. “There you go again. You lead women on all the time, but when it comes to kids, you can’t say no.”
“Well, if you’re going away, I think I’ll try my luck with Kisako,” Tasuki said, half teasing. “No complaints, all right?”
“Oh, don’t worry. I won’t complain,” Sugaru said with a grin. “I’ll just ask you later how many times she hit you.”
chapter
seven
BANDITS
Bandits
SUMMER CLOUDS billowed white against the blue of the afternoon sky. The lush green leaves grew darker, breathing in the golden light that shone longer every day. Swallows arriving from across the seas darted to and fro. Everything pulsed with life—except Toko. Having only recently recovered, she was not quite up to form. Three days had passed since she left Izumo. But even though she was finally on her way to Mahoroba, her spirits remained low. Sensing this, Sugaru dismounted when the sun was still high. “Let’s stop here for today,” he said. “I’ll look for a campsite.”
“But we haven’t traveled far at all,” Toko complained. “I can go on a little farther. The days are long.”
“Do what you’re told, Toko. If you collapse again, I’m the one who has to look after you.”
Toko pouted but swung down from her horse. Sugaru’s high-handed manner irritated her, but it was just the two of them now. That was another reason she was feeling down. It was not at all like the journey to the west with Tasuki and Imatate, who had kept everyone entertained with their lighthearted banter.
Leading his horse by the reins, Sugaru said, “You don’t have enough meat on your bones. That’s the problem. Women should overflow with life. Look at Lady Hayakitsu. Her hips and chest are so generous it makes you want to shake them. That’s why she’s so attractive. You could learn from her.”
“My apologies for being flat-chested,” Toko snapped. “If you wanted good-looking women, you shouldn’t have come with me. It’s not too late. Why don’t you go back to Kisako?”
“Are you kidding? I’ve heard the capital is full of beautiful women. How could I give up a chance like this?”
“Will you never be serious?” Toko knew it was fruitless to get upset, yet she could not help it. Kisako’s feelings weighed more heavily on her mind than before, another cause of her moodiness. It was not that Kisako had said anything. In fact, she seemed to avoid even mentioning Sugaru’s name. But for that very reason, Toko felt her cousin’s feelings more keenly. During the four or five days Kisako had cared for her, Toko had learned a lot as she lay in bed, watching. Kisako avoids Sugaru because she actually wants to be near him. She turns her face away whenever they meet, but her eyes follow him when no one is looking. She was thinking of him the whole time we were gone, and she’s probably thinking of him still …
Yet Toko could not help her cousin because she needed Sugaru herself—as the bearer of the magatama. He now possessed two stones—the green Midori and the yellow Ki—and without them Toko would never obtain the Misumaru. So she had pretended not to see how Kisako felt. As soon as she was able to get up, she had left Izumo, feeling Kisako’s eyes follow Sugaru from the shadow of the fence until he was out of sight.
I’m sorry, Kisako. In the end, I’m the one who’s selfish.
TOKO WOKE UP suddenly in the middle of the night. The memory of her dream was so vivid that for a moment she could not remember where she was. Enveloped in a cold, silent darkness, she felt like the only living thing in the world, trapped in a nightmare of hopeless despair. Unable to stand it, she burst into tears.
Oguna’s gone. I can’t find him anywhere …
“What’s wrong?” Sugaru asked.
Only when Toko heard his voice did she remember that she was not alone; that far from being lost in complete nothingness, she was in a clearing at the edge of a forest.
“Kisako told me that you cried out in your sleep during your fever. You’re not quite better yet, are you? Did you have a bad dream?”
Sugaru came over and crouched down beside her. There was not a trace of teasing in his voice, only pure concern. Toko reached out and clung to him. Wrapping her in a blanket, he put his arms around her. This was what Toko had wanted more than anything else. She supposed that she must have seemed like Abi or the baby to Sugaru, but still she was immensely comforted. He held her like that until the chill had left her body and her sobs had ceased. Then he said, “What were you dreaming about?”
“Oguna.” The word popped out so easily. She realized how grateful she was to have someone to listen. “Or I guess I should say I was dreaming about Oguna not being there. I was looking all over for him—in the back garden, the bushes, the pond, the forest. I walked everywhere in Kamitsusato. I did that so many times when we were children. Oguna would always hide somewhere and cry by himself. But in my dream, no matter how hard I looked I couldn’t find him. Then I suddenly realized that he’s no longer here. He’s nowhere in this world. And not even Kamitsusato exists anymore.” Tears ran down her cheeks again, but this time she remained calm.
“That’s the boy you talked about before, right?” Sugaru said slowly, as if choosing his words with care. “The one you made leaf boats with when you were kids.”
“Yes. We were always together. He was the complete opposite of me, even when he was little. He hardly ever cried, even when he broke his arm. He was so good at locking things up inside that most people thought he never shed any tears. But that wasn’t true. He did cry sometimes. He just didn’t show anyone. He would hide without saying anything. Like when our baby boar was killed.”
As Toko talked, scenes from her childhood rose vividly to mind. The huge garden at her father’s hall, the young men, the backyard where the rooster used to strut, the shed, the hill behind her home—and her friend and accomplice Oguna, sharing an innocent secret, then both of them smothering their laughter after a quick glance. “We found a baby boar that had been separated from its mother and wandered lost in the hills. We kept it in a secret place and smuggled food for it. But some young men found it. They killed and ate it. I was so upset that I burst into tears in front of everyone. The men were surprised and apologized. But then I noticed that Oguna wasn’t there. He’d disappeared without telling me. I realized that he must have been even sadder than I was. He was the one who usually comforted me, but there were times when he just couldn’t. When he cried, he cried alone.” She sighed. “At times like that, I would go looking for him. I’d walk around checking all his hiding places. Because I was the only person he had. I was the onl
y one who knew him, the only one who could find him. He could never ask for help when he needed it …”
“Is he dead?” Sugaru asked.
Toko fell silent. She was quiet for so long that Sugaru thought she was not going to answer. Finally she whispered, “I think so.”
“He must have been pretty special if you still care about him that much. But it’s not good to cling to someone who’s dead, Toko. You need to find someone you can like as much as you did Oguna.”
I’ll never find anyone like him, Toko screamed inside. Not anywhere in the world. She could not shake the feeling that Oguna was somewhere crying. If only that were true, she would have done anything to find him. But it’s not. I can’t find Oguna even in my dreams. The bond that once joined us has been broken. Oguna is gone.
She must discard her memories and clad herself in armor.
SEVERAL DAYS LATER they came to a wide and clearly well-traveled road. It stretched on before them in the direction they were headed, due east and over the mountain pass. Sugaru cocked his chin at it. “That’s the road used to carry tribute to Mahoroba.”
“Right. Tribute,” Toko said with contempt. “Mino paid tribute too. Lots of it. Every year, without fail. But the soldiers from Mahoroba didn’t give that a thought when they invaded. That’s what they’re like. We were so stupid.”
“The strong always win. You heard what happened to my ancestors, right?” But Sugaru’s voice held no rancor and he seemed not to care. “This road will bring us to Mahoroba. Shall we take it?”
“Of course! What road could be easier to travel than this?” But then she looked at him suspiciously. “Or is there some reason we shouldn’t?” Sugaru smiled. “Oh no. Just the possibility of being waylaid by bandits.”
Toko recalled rumors they had heard. A band of thieves in the hills had been ambushing travelers and stealing their packhorses. She hesitated a moment but then shrugged. “We’ve got nothing to fear. We don’t have any packhorses with us. Surely there’s nothing wrong with taking this road if it will get us to Mahoroba quicker.”
Mirror Sword and Shadow Prince Page 29