“Oh, God,” she murmured against fingers pressed to her lips. She’d had no idea it hadn’t been a fair fight. Nor had she a single clue of the danger level even when she’d been pummeling the human guys and hurling solid oak and leather furniture at them.
“You—you’re right. I wasn’t in my right mind. Protecting myself was the only thing real in those moments, so I fought. I had no idea it wasn’t a fair fight, particularly with the human guys. Can’t you understand how scared I was to be there? Especially tied down when the person who did this to me could be anyone and could have made another attempt on my life?”
He reached out and took her hand. “I understand that completely, but Darlin’ you were safe. I swear. Throughout every moment of your turning, I was there or one of your family members. Other than Betty no one administered blood or meds to you but me and I trust Betty implicitly. I would never put you in harm’s way.”
She squeezed his hand. “I believe you now.”
I’m glad, but what I don’t understand was why you wouldn’t believe me when I told you a turning had been the only choice I had to save your life. We’ve had our ups and downs since our relationship took a turn toward intimacy, but through it all, I believed you trusted me. It hurt like hell when I realized how little you did. Maybe still do.”
His honesty cut deep, made tears sting her eyes. She couldn’t say anything to that because she hadn’t trusted him or she wouldn’t be scared to death he’d hurt her if she opened her heart and gave this relationship a shot. Sadly, she was still too scared to consider that option, but she very much wanted to trust his professional judgement. He’d saved her life. She knew that now. How did she get a thank you through to him that would make an impression when he was still so disillusioned with her?
“You okay?”
“I will be. That was a lot to digest, but I understand things better now. I believe you did what you did to save me. I really do and I’m very grateful to be alive. Thank you. I mean that from the bottom of my heart.” She squeezed his hand again and sniffed.
He squeezed back. “I’ve been hoping to hear words like that from you for days. You can’t imagine how grateful I am you are alive and your family is too. We all love you and none of us would be the same without you in our lives.”
Whoa. Back that comment up. He loved her? In what regard? “What do you mean, you love me?”
Embarrassment crept into his features, but he covered the emotion with a patient smile. “Just what I said. I love you. As a friend, of course first. I just didn’t realize exactly how deep those feelings went until I nearly lost you. No pressure. I’m not expecting any declarations on your part.”
No pressure, hell! He’d just dropped the relationship A-bomb and Tiffany could hardly draw a breath, let alone think about her own convoluted feelings for him. “Christian, I don’t even know what to say to that. I love you too as a friend, but I can’t give you what you really need and want.”
“What is it you think I really need?”
“How about for starters, a person who is solid in themselves. I don’t know who the hell I am anymore. I’m now Tiffany Peebles the vampire. What does that mean? How dare you tell me you love me when you can clearly see I’m fucked in the head right now?”
He closed his eyes for a few seconds and sucked in a sharp breath. “I’m sorry, Tiffany. I was just being honest. I didn’t mean to add insult to your injury.”
“Well you did. Even if I wasn’t such a hot mess right now, I still feel the same way as I did before about getting emotionally involved with you. It wouldn’t be a good idea for either one of us.”
“Why?”
“Does it really matter?”
“Yes, it matters a great deal to me. I just told you how I felt.”
“But I don’t feel the same way, Christian and probably never will. You deserve better than that.”
“I don’t believe that for a second. I know you have feelings for me. What’s the real reason you won’t give the two of us a chance?”
“That’s my business and I don’t want to talk about it. Look I know this is going to take awhile.” She glanced up at the IV pole. “Why don’t you go hang out with the others so I can watch my show.” She grabbed the remote off the bedside table and punched the on button. It’s a stupid sitcom. I’m sure you wouldn’t be interested.”
Apparently, he got her brush off message loud and clear. He stood, his expression tight, his tone too. “Enjoy. I’ll be back in about thirty minutes.”
She watched him leave, knowing she’d hurt him. Once again. She punched the off button on the remote as soon as the door closed, and drug a hand through her hair. “Shit, Christian. Are you trying to drive me crazy? If so you’re doing a bang-up job.”
She’d just had a trust breakthrough with him regarding why he’d turned her, but she was nowhere near ready to entrust her heart to him. He wouldn’t mean to hurt her, but one day he would. Tiffany may be a newbie vampire, but she did know a few things about their species. Vampires sought life mates and one day Christian would find his. If she was a part of his life when that happened it would kill her. Truth was it probably would anyway. The thought of him with another woman caused an ache so severe in her heart she groaned aloud from the intensity.
God help her. Was she already a little in love with him?
Chapter 12
Christian descended the stairs, berating himself for confessing his true feelings to Tiffany. He’d known she hadn’t been ready to hear them so he had no right to be angry, but he was nonetheless. Those rancorous feelings she’d been projecting toward him may have softened some and she probably was grateful to be alive, but she still didn’t understand the real reason he’d turned her. He loved her too much to stand by and watch her die.
When he reached the landing in the foyer he paused, deciding where to go while he waited. He could hear women’s voices and laughter coming from the back of the house where the kitchen was located. He was in no mood for gayety or socializing. Instead, he chose the parlor and found Dimitri sitting on one of Nathan’s elegant, antique Victorian sofas. The man held a folded newspaper in one hand, an iced highball glass of vodka in the other. Christian could smell it and although he wasn’t partial to vodka, alcohol sounded good at the moment.
Dimitri lowered the paper and offered a cordial smile. “How are you and the lovely Miss Tiffany this evening?” he queried in a thick Baltic accent.
Dimitri was a Lithuanian immigrant who had come to the states around the turn of the last century. His English was nearly perfect, but he’d never lost the accent of his mother tongue.
Christian snorted then went over to a fancy buffet which had been set up as a bar and took advantage of some of Nathan’s ridiculously expensive aged scotch. “She’s fine. I’m just killing time while she finishes her transfusion.” He took a seat on a matching red velvet sofa opposite his friend.
Dimitri laid the newspaper on the coffee table between them. “Nathan told me Tiffany is yours. Congratulations.”
Christian harrumphed, then tossed back the contents of his glass. “Yeah, well congratulations are a little premature at this point. She’s struggling to come to terms with life as a vampire. She’s nowhere near ready to think about me or life mating.”
Dimitri nodded, leaned back into the sofa and took a sip of vodka, his expression contemplative. “Understandable. Of course I don’t know Tiffany as well as you, but I realize she’s a bit temperamental and often tries to hide her true emotions behind sarcasm and dry humor. Perhaps she just needs some time?”
Christian snorted again and slammed his empty scotch glass on the coffee table. “Time? Try a century. She’s a fucking emotional Fort Knox, Dimitri, and she’s driving me crazy. Not to mention she has the temperament of a cornered rattler when she’s riled. Before all this happened, I thought we were making some progress. Now? All I know for sure is she’s nowhere near ready for a relationship. Based on things Mia’s told me about her past and her father
, I’m not sure she’ll ever be.”
Dimitri chuckled. “I understand your frustration, my friend. When a male vampire finally discovers his life mate, his singular goal is making her his and quickly. Unfortunately, obstacles can stand in the way of that goal. Let me assure you, fate will have her way, and Tiffany will not be able to evade fate’s course. However, life mating is not something one should rush. It is a delicate endeavor, a dance which can be both frustrating and enjoyable. It requires patience and often a great deal of seduction, which also can be very enjoyable.” He flashed a knowing grin.
Christian stared at him, considering his words. Seduction, huh? Well, he’d tried that and where had it gotten him? He had to be the most sexually frustrated vampire in the good state of Louisiana.
He sighed, knowing emotions ruled his head. Dimitri was right. He needed to exercise patience and he needed another drink. He walked over to the bar and poured three fingers of scotch, saying as he walked back to the sofa, “She’s not ready for seduction at this point, Dimitri. It’s probably best I just give her time and a wide berth.”
He chuckled. “She will need time to become vampire. Her thinking is still very human, I’m sure. However, you’ll not reach your goal by giving her berth. That’s probably what she expects of you right now. To leave her alone to build a case about why she shouldn’t be with you would be counterproductive for you. I believe what she really wants is your patience and understanding. Meanwhile, a few good pushes on your part in the romance arena couldn’t hurt.” He flashed a sage smile.
Christian made a scoffing sound, then downed his scotch in a single gulp. “I’ve been ripping my hair out trying to be patient with that woman. Night before last she bit one of my partners and tore up my clinic waiting room. I wanted to strangle her scrawny, little neck for that one.”
Dimitri burst out laughing. “Julia told me of the incident. I’m sorry for your partner, but not surprised by her behavior. We both know she’s a very spirited girl.”
“True and I’ve always admired her fire. Her hissy fits are a different story.” However, Christian knew the real reason she acted out had been due to lack of trust in him to keep her healthy and safe. The restraints hadn’t given her much reason to trust, he supposed.
“Tiffany aside, how are you faring? I know Nathan and Dominic are working on a theory regarding the troubles at your clinic. Hopefully, there have been no more incidents?”
He shook his head. “Fortunately, no. My partners, Noah and Asa have been working themselves into an early grave trying to figure out how these women and Tiffany came into contact with these substances. I hope Nathan and Dominic can shed some light on the identity of our culprit, but my gut is telling me our killer is an employee of the clinic.”
“True, but perhaps one hired by Nathan’s enemy to cause this horrific chaos in your life.”
He nodded. “Anything’s possible I suppose. I can tell you this, I won’t rest until this person is caught and neither will my partners.”
Dimitri sighed and shook his head. “I cannot imagine what you must be going through, Christian. I’m so very sorry. I hope you get to the bottom of this soon.”
So did he. He’d placed the brunt of this disaster on the shoulders of Noah and Asa far too long because of Tiffany. Her blood work had been negative for VHS for two days. Now that she was safe and healthy, it was time to redirect his focus and help his partners solve these crimes.
* * *
Tiffany was bored. She’d spent the first few days at her mom and Nathan’s place in bed, sleeping or watching TV, avoiding family, phone calls, emails—basically the world in general. The stress over her attempted murder, her turning and Christian’s declaration of love had left her emotionally and physically drained.
He loved her? Why would he say something like that? Wherever he had in mind to see their relationship go, it could never be permanent. She was so stupid, thinking she could handle a fling with Christian. The two of them hadn’t even had real sex and already emotions had gotten out of control between them.
Christian, her turning, the attempt on her life—all of it was too much. Tiffany just wanted life to go back to the way it had been before Christian made her a vampire. In order for that to happen she had to be proactive. So, this morning she decided it was time to emerge from her cocoon of self-pity and do some more software research online, maybe return some phone calls from reps. She headed downstairs to the kitchen for a cup of coffee to kick start some productivity. She found her mom and Julia at the sink talking and loading the dishwasher. They turned toward her with welcoming smiles.
“Hi, Honey. You missed breakfast but I made you a plate. It’s in the microwave. Let me heat it up.”
“Don’t bother. I’m not hungry. I just need some coffee.” Tiffany had barely eaten anything since she’d woke up vampire. She’d refused to eat hospital food so her mom had brought in her favorite foods but she’d had no appetite. She still didn’t. She was just too depressed about this new unwanted life she now had. Every time Christian gave her a transfusion, it was another reminder of the freedoms she lost when her human life had been stolen by that maniac.
She’d spent the last few days wracking her brain for likely V clinic suspects, but kept coming up empty because she was still too new there to judge anyone’s actions or motives. Christian was having no better luck himself. No more incidents had occurred, but sadly it appeared it would take further ones to catch this person in the act.
Tiffany walked over to the cup cabinet, pulled out a mug and poured herself some joe.
“Did you sleep well, my Darling?” Julia asked.
“You bet. Like the living dead.”
Silence followed her lame vampire joke. Normally her sense of humor even edged with sarcasm gained a laugh, but it was hard to be witty and jovial with this unshakable cloud of gloom hovering above her head.
Her mother and Julia shared a strained look, then her mother sighed and dried her hands on a dish towel. “Look, TJ, I know you’re struggling to deal with what’s happened to you, but Honey, you’re alive and you need to start acting like it. You’ve barely touched food for days and you’re spending way too much time in your room, brooding. It’s time to let those of us who have gone through this same thing help you deal with things. Me, Julia, Dannie, all of us have been right where you are as new vampires. I can’t speak for them, but for me turning was horrible at first. I was so angry. I didn’t want this life and for a brief time I even wished Nathan had allowed me to die, but thank God he didn’t. Look at my life now and how full and rich it is. Your’s will be too one day. I promise. Just give it time.”
“Your mother is right, Cher. The beautiful girl that is within you has not changed. You will always be Tiffany. Yes, there will be some difficulties, but you are a strong young woman and you will learn to cope. Every turned vampire struggles at first. It’s only natural.”
“Look you guys, I appreciate the vampire life pep talk, but right now it’s falling on deaf ears, because I’m pissed and frustrated. I’m pissed someone tried to kill me. I’m frustrated with the fact too many people have been in charge of my choices recently. I can’t stand it.”
“Honey—”
Tiffany held up her hand, interrupting her. “I love you, Mom. You too Julia, but I just want to go back to the life I had. I know why you, Nathan and Christian feel I need to be here, but I miss my apartment. My job. The freedom to get in my truck and drive wherever I want to go without a babysitter.”
Nathan informed her he’d assigned a bodyguard to follow her everywhere she went outside this house until this was all over. Yea! More crap-tacular news. At least she still had her job. Christian assured her once the crisis at the V clinic passed, her position would be there waiting for her.
Her mother let out a little sympathetic tsk and approached her. “I completely understand. I too felt like a prisoner after my turning while I was under Christian’s care. I wanted to go home so badly, but I couldn’t have surviv
ed without him. At the time, he was my lifeline because…well I didn’t trust Nathan at that point. However, the point I’m trying to make is you not only have Christian to help you through this, but your entire family.
She understood where her mom was coming from and was grateful for the concern, but she needed time to mourn the loss of her humanity. Her mother hadn’t been human in over twelve years. Julia over eighty. Apparently, they’d forgotten what is was like to take the sun for granted or to not worry about blood lust or how loud noises set her nerves aflame because she’d only had vampire hearing for a mere week.
Julia stepped up beside Mia and offered Tiffany a sweet smile. “We will all do whatever we can to help you. Everyone in this house loves you so much. Christian too. How blessed you are to have a man as wonderful as Christian as a life mate. His love for you is so evident.”
Tiffany felt her eyes go saucer round and her mothers did too a second before she elbowed Julia in the ribs. Julia slapped a palm over her mouth and glanced between them with a guilty look.
Apparently, Julia realized she let the cat out of the bag. She could be a bit dingy at times and she definitely sucked at keeping secrets. The cat she’d just released was the size of a cougar and had Tiffany seeing red because that information could have only come from Christian.
Why would he say something like that? She knew he cared about her and when she’d nearly died it had affected him deeply. Hell, he claimed to love her, but for him to make such a leap in judgement didn’t seem Christian-like at all. It scared her.
“Tiffany, let me explain,” her mother said.
“Yeah. One of you had better get to explaining real quick.”
Neither replied immediately, just continued to look guilty which only fueled her fire. “Who told you Christian and I are life mates? Never mind. That’s obvious. We had a couple dates, but it was no big deal. If he’s been telling you we’re life mates, I can assure you it’s a load of crap.”
Dark Experiments Page 16