by Jeff Inlo
Previously, Heteera had attempted to force the wizard out of her consciousness, but only when he reached deep into the twisted paths of her essence. She never tried to prevent him from reaching out to the cognizant yet dormant sections of her mind. It was only when he walked through the maze of unconscious mayhem, when he raised the fears deep within her, did she lash out at him.
Still, he was convinced that it was not a deliberate shield placed by the sorceress to keep him from entering her mind. It was nothing more than a rush of power, a surge for which he was unprepared, and while it contained no clear message, it seemed to want something from him. Unfortunately, he could not comprehend what that might be.
Jure could not help but notice the reluctance in Enin's desire to return to the sorceress' side. He might not have been equal to the wizard in magical power, but he had seen enough years to develop a perception of people. For whatever reason, Enin had grown extremely cautious, and that in itself concerned the older spell caster.
"Is there anything I can do to help?"
Enin quickly considered Jure's ability to access the magic within Heteera, and that offered a sensible alternative.
"Actually, yes. I wish to check the magic."
"You usually do that after you enter her essence."
"I know, but that surge has me worried. I don't think she caused it."
"You think something else is in there with her?"
"No, I don't. I believe she is very much alone, but something is... different."
Jure nodded, and without any reluctance, he opened his link to the magical reservoir that resided within the sorceress. For him, it was very much like opening a spigot. He held a direct connection to the barrier that held the magical energy, and he simply pressed his will upon the obstruction which would allow him to pass.
Before he could invite Enin to probe the energy, before Jure could even say a word, the flow of magic overwhelmed him. It flooded his being like an immense wave of water flooding through a narrow basin. It threatened to overcome him in an instant, and it would have had he not removed himself from the flow. Almost instantly, Jure shut down the paths of access he had opened, and broke away from the massive rush of power.
Even as the magic was once again sealed within Heteera, Jure fought with a surging current of energy caught inside himself. Without a spell at the ready to utilize the energy, he found himself near bursting with magic. Only his control avoided a catastrophe, but the situation remained critical. The power within him pulsed like the racing heartbeat of a snow ogre in a full sprint. It raged against containment, fought against Jure's will. It did not simply press for release. It needed to be cast out in the form of a spell, to be given a purpose beyond being released back into the air.
"Cover your eyes!" Jure shouted.
Enin sensed the raw power building up within the elder wizard. He jammed his eyelids closed and buried his face into the crook of his elbow.
Jure placed one hand over Heteera's face to shield her eyes and wielded his other hand high up in the air. He closed his own eyes and bent his face downward towards the floor. In an instant, a flash of light exploded through the room as if a dozen stars came together in the palm of his hand. There was no heat, no wind, no force whatsoever. The light, however, burned for long moments. It would have blinded anyone who looked into it, but there was no one else in the room.
Eventually, the light burned out and Jure opened his eyes. A few spots momentarily filled his vision, but they quickly disappeared and his sight cleared. He lifted his hand from Heteera's face, and though she could not respond, he believed her vision also remained unharmed.
"Are you alright?" Jure asked of Enin.
"I'm fine," the powerful wizard responded, and though he believed he understood the situation, he required confirmation. "What happened?"
Jure appeared flushed—his eyes wide, his face red with color.
"A giant wave of magic flowed out of her. It was like nothing I've ever felt before. I couldn't maintain control. I had to let go, but I couldn't just release it. The magic... it wasn't just fighting against containment. It was like it wanted something... wanted to be used."
"I understand. I sensed the same thing," Enin answered with a nod.
"I had to actually cast it out. The only thing I could think of that wouldn't destroy the building was a light spell."
"The best choice," Enin agreed.
"I don't want to try that again," Jure admitted. "I'm too old for that. I'm lucky it didn't kill me."
Enin, understanding that it meant he could not check the integrity of the magic, agreed.
"No, that would be unwise. Still, I have to ask, did you sense anything else within the magic, anything beyond the desire for purpose? Any impurities, any hidden spells, anything at all that would give you an indication the magic was being manipulated in any way, even by Heteera herself?"
"No. It seemed so pure. It just wanted to be utilized... actually, demanded would be a better word."
"What of the barrier?"
"It's intact. I can feel it. It hasn't been broken or cracked. I'm pretty sure it's holding all the magic contained within her again. It's just that when I passed through into the magic stream behind the wall, there was so much force behind it, like a river being held back by a dam during a strong storm. It just flushed through the moment it had an opening."
"I see." Enin then finally moved back closer to Heteera's bedside. "I trust your judgment, but I have to go in there now. Something is obviously going on inside of her."
"Be careful." Jure offered with genuine concern, but then caught himself. He felt presumptuous for giving Enin advice and he felt the need to apologize. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I know you can handle this."
Enin smiled.
"When I stop making mistakes, you can stop telling me to be careful. That hasn't happened yet. I appreciate your concern. The fact is, I really don't know what I'm going to find in there."
"What do you need me to do, if anything?" Jure asked.
Enin took a moment and then eventually looked up with clear concern of his own etched on his expression. It surprised Jure, for he had never seen Enin so unsure of a situation.
"You have a great feel for the magic," Enin eventually said. "Use it now. If you sense a great surge within her like what you felt before, do everything in your power to control it."
"I wasn't planning on trying to get to the magic again," Jure admitted.
"It's not that. It's something else. She almost knocked me over before, and I just glanced by her mind. I'm worried I might stir up something more by going in deeper. If I do, you'll have to try and control it. You may not be able to contain it for long, so you'll have to channel it elsewhere."
"Another light spell?"
Enin shook his head.
"Unfortunately, a light spell may not be enough. If you have to, blow apart the roof and send it all into the sky any way you can."
"Do you really think that will be necessary?"
"I hope not, but I know how much magic is within her. If all of that explodes directly outward, I'm guessing the city will be destroyed."
"I won't let that happen."
Enin recalled what Jure had said but a moment ago, about being too old... and lucky the magic didn't kill him. Enin needed to warn his friend of the worst possibility.
"I'm not going to lie to you. If she unleashes it all at once, it will probably rip you apart, but if you hold together long enough, you'll save lives."
Jure heaved a heavy breath as he looked down upon Heteera, but he steadied himself and accepted the responsibility, along with the potential consequences.
"I understand."
Enin nodded.
"I know you do. You're a good man." He then looked back upon the sorceress who appeared to stare at the ceiling without a care. "Well, no sense delaying it."
Taking a firm hold of his mortal form with the magic that coursed through him, Enin guided his own consciousness out of his
body and willed it into the recesses of Heteera's mind. The magic maintained a connection between Enin's soul and his mortal shell, but his essence was now free to enter the aspects of the sorceress' deeper being. His thoughts took on the same physical shape as his body, as this allowed him to create a reference point for his own existence, but he was nothing more than a spiritual presence attempting to make contact with Heteera's inner consciousness.
The moment he stepped within the sorceress' essence, he prepared himself for another rebuke. Despite his nonphysical form, he understood the power of will and the force of magic. He was not sure if Heteera would allow him to enter, and although he was ready for another surge of power, the onslaught still surprised him.
Wave after wave of seemingly unending force propelled itself at the wizard's presence. There was no true thought behind the surge, no attempt to block out the wizard. There was only a rush of magic heaved toward him. It was not a conscious attempt to repulse him. None of the energy was rushing out of the barrier. It was simply the raging current of magic racing into the sorceress from the very land itself.
Enin immediately understood the dilemma. Heteera was absorbing magic faster than the barrier could isolate it. Like water rolling down to the lowest level, the energy searched for a vessel to contain it. The wizard, with his vast ability to utilize magic, became like a sponge, and the magic naturally sought him out. He was like a powerful magnet and the energy like metal filings attracted to the force of his magical talents.
Rather than fight off the incoming force, Enin simply accepted it. As one of the most powerful wizards to ever walk the land of Uton, even as far back as the times recorded in elflore, his capacity far exceeded that of both Heteera and the barrier constructed within her. He couldn't do it indefinitely, but he could maintain the rate of absorption for a short period. With the force under control, he moved past the initial disruption and walked once more across Heteera's tortured mind.
Prepared—even hoping—to find some alteration that might explain Heteera's new condition, Enin was not disappointed. Still, the image before him both worried and horrified him. Whereas Heteera's conscious thought and basic awareness used to be represented by a vast wasteland, the flatlands of her mind had shrunk considerably in size.
Enin stood on ground that barely exceeded the space of Heteera's physical bedroom. The ring of mountains that used to stand far in the distance were almost within arms length in every direction. The mound that represented the barrier had grown substantially. It remained an almost nondescript sight—just a simple mass that stretched out into the distant horizon of Heteera's awareness—but its depth overwhelmed the sorceress' mind.
"Heteera?" Enin whispered, but he knew she wouldn't hear him. There was barely enough space remaining in her consciousness to keep her alive.
He stepped quickly up to the barrier. With great care, he examined the wall. It appeared sound. He found no cracks, no signs of deterioration. He would not try to probe deep within the barrier out of fear that the magic might flow toward him and shatter the wall. Still, he could sense the great flow as if it were a mighty waterfall encased in rock. The barrier had neared its limit, and in understanding the ramifications, Enin knew he had no choice but to reach Heteera.
He feared the attempt might be disastrous, but there was no alternative. He willed himself up over the top of the barrier with as much speed as he could muster. He became a flash of light, a burst of focused will.
The wall responded in kind. Initially, its rounded peak billowed upward, but the inherent protective nature of the spell to block intruders could not match the furious effort of the great wizard. As if realizing failure was inevitable, the mound quickly returned to its previous size and refocused on its primary purpose to contain the magic. It was forced to let Enin pass.
As the wizard crossed the barrier, he found yet another astounding change. The depths of Heteera's mind which were once a twisted maze of turmoil, had turned into a hollow cavern with but one light at the center. The chaotic strands of the sorceress' thoughts, personality and identity had come together into one bright mass—like the flame of a large torch burning in an otherwise empty room.
While others might take delight in the apparent new order of Heteera's mind, the powerful wizard knew all too well the desolation of a lost soul surrounded by an abyss of emptiness. Enin shuddered at the icy wind of despair that cut through the enveloping darkness. Heteera might have escaped madness, but she did so by forging a path into utter hopelessness. When the choice is set between madness and despair with no other alternative, there is no victory.
With all of the sorceress' conscious and unconscious thoughts bound together in a heap of anguish, there was no maze for Enin to conquer. The labyrinth had become a chasm and all he could do was sink to its center. Upon closing in on the single light of Heteera's focus, Enin reached out with sincere compassion.
"Heteera? Can you hear me?"
"Yes."
There was no joy of recognition in her tone, nor was there anger or disgust. She spoke with the hollow voice of a crushed soul—no pain, no desperate plea for help—just an acceptance of the nothingness that surrounded her.
"Can I speak to you?" the wizard asked gently.
He didn't wish to force himself upon her. He needed her to accept his presence, to willingly engage in a connection of hope.
Heteera allowed an exchange, but she had abandoned hope.
"If you like," she responded in a half-hearted whisper.
Enin began with total, if not abrupt, honesty.
"I wish I could say I was happy. In a way, what you've done is impressive. You've coalesced your thoughts, you've brought a sense of order back to your essence. I tried to accomplish that on several occasions."
"Did you? I don't remember."
"No, I doubt you would. Your mind was a tortured wreck."
Enin recalled the chaos that had once been Heteera's essence. He looked about at the enveloping haze of inky nothingness. She had sunk from one extreme to another. Still, he tried to find some spark of optimism in the gloom.
"Perhaps I'm not happy with what I see now, but maybe it is a large step forward. You have brought back your identity, your personality. We can communicate."
"I think maybe I do remember you being here before," Heteera admitted with no true pride in any spark of recollection. "I tried to communicate with you. I'm not sure, but I don't think you listened."
"I was trying to help you and your fears pressed me away. I didn't want to give up on you. I'm sorry to see that you're giving up now."
"Giving up, giving in... it's all the same. It's better this way."
"I don't agree."
"Oh well."
They were simple words—Oh well— but they placed Heteera's entire state of being into context for the wizard. Enin perceived more than despair in these words. He found something deeper. It wasn't about giving up or giving in. He pinpointed the truth as he stood before the withdrawn entirety of Heteera's essence surrounded by obscurity. Without even the smallest hint of lingering uncertainty, Enin came to see the overwhelming attitude that had brought the sorceress' mind back together.
An understanding of Heteera's plight became so clear in Enin's mind, he read it as if she painted her thoughts on canvas. She had taken hold of a concept with such intensity that it enabled her to return from the depths of insanity. Somehow she gained strength from the belief that life was nothing more than a twisted path of pointless responses to circumstances far beyond her control.
She no longer attempted to make sense of life, no longer wished to find meaning in her existence. Instead, she pulled all of her thoughts, hopes, and dreams together into a tight bunch and cloaked them all in oblivion.
What made it even more troubling was that the vast magic within her allowed Heteera to see beyond the curtains of physical existence. She didn't reject the truth of spiritual reality and a place of hope beyond her current existence. The problem for the sorceress was she refused
to separate the two. She focused entirely on what she saw as the futility of life in a world caught within the struggle. She saw a continuation of insignificance and a circle of existence that lacked hope or even optimism.
She viewed herself not as a puppet being directed by some unseen hand, but as a small cork bobbing atop a boiling sea during a wild tempest. Despite all of her desire to escape any tragedy, her most brazen actions fell on the deaf ears of irrelevance. She was not a pawn, and she was not a bystander. She was a helpless victim and there was no hope for escape... in life or in death. There was only futility, and so, she withdrew into herself.
"Giving up is one thing," the wizard offered, "but throwing yourself into the void when you can see beyond this life is something else. I must admit it confuses me."
"That's because you're not me."
"Are we that different?"
Heteera simply pointed out what she saw as the truth, the absolute difference that validated her beliefs.
"We both have power—the amount is immaterial—but you were given the ability to control it. I was not."
"I could help you control it."
"Did you need someone to help you?"
"No, but we don't all have to be the same."
Heteera did not wish to argue the value of individuality. She saw it as a much simpler issue.
"It's not right. I have all this power inside of me and no way to control it. It's beyond not being right. It's insane. I'm dangerous just existing. "
"I know things don't always make sense..."
Heteera would not let him continue.
"It's more than that. It's torture. I'm being tortured and I want it to stop." Despite her words, there was no tone of torment in her voice. She might have reestablished her thoughts and her identity, but her emotions had been totally discarded. "I found a way. All I have to do is let the magic wash me away. I'm safe now. I can't cause any more harm."