by CJ Morrow
‘What?’ he said, suddenly awake and aware of her scrutiny.
‘Nothing.’
‘I didn’t kick you, did I?’ He nodded down at the lurid blue cast perched on the edge of the bed.
‘No. It was fine.’ Lily patted his stomach, still firm she noticed, and smiled.
He sat up and groaned, stretched his arms above his head. ‘Best night’s sleep I’ve had since I got back. Thanks to you.’ He grinned and swung his legs onto the floor. ‘Could you help me shower?’
‘Um. Yes. But what do you do when I’m not here?’
‘Struggle,’ he said, fishing around on the floor for his crutches.
It wasn’t very dignified zipping him into his plastic boot so that the cast wouldn’t get wet. She gagged as she pulled it on over his toes; the stench of sour cheese coated her nostrils.
‘Sorry,’ Will said, very aware of her reaction. ‘I can’t get that foot wet. The smell was really bad when they took the cast off yesterday. All the skin is flaking too. It’s disgusting. And embarrassing.’
‘Not for too much longer.’ Lily felt sorry for him and guilty for gagging.
He limped into the bathroom where he managed perfectly well to turn on the shower and step inside. But, once inside she could see how difficult it was for him to balance and wash properly. When he’d finished in the bathroom he flopped back onto the bed and waited for Lily to remove the plastic boot. He looked exhausted.
‘If you’ve got a flannel I could wipe your foot over. I won’t get the cast wet but it would make it,’ she paused, searching for the right word. ‘Fresher.’
‘Cool,’ he said, directing her to his airing cupboard.
She filled the sink with water and bubble bath and ran between the bathroom and bedroom, wiping Will’s stinky foot down but still gagging when the sour stench inside the cast drifted towards her.
‘That’s better,’ she said, finally satisfied that it was as good as it was going to be.
‘Cool,’ he said, whipping his towel away and limping around the room naked. Lily feeling oddly embarrassed, excused herself and disappeared into the bathroom to shower. Afterwards she pulled on yesterday’s clothes.
‘What shall we do today?’ Will said as he lay on the sofa, remote control in hand as Lily made breakfast. ‘No work for you, so you’ve got the whole weekend free.’ He’d made such a show of clomping down the stairs on his crutches that Lily had forced him out of the kitchen area.
‘I need to go home and change my clothes.’ She didn’t add that she also needed to give her hair a good brush, since despite his own luxuriant locks; Will only possessed one comb which was definitely not up to the task of taming Lily’s hair.
‘Okay, we can stop off there on the way.’
‘Way to where?’
‘Anywhere. I don’t care. Just out. I’ve only been to the hospital and back since I came home.’
‘What about visitors?’ Lily thought of Giselle.
‘What visitors? You and that loopy bird off the plane? I’m going a bit stir crazy. I need to get out somewhere else.’
Selfish Lily, she hadn’t thought of that. She’d been so wrapped up in her work situation and the lying doppelganger, who probably wasn’t a doppelganger after all, that she hadn’t given Will’s situation enough thought. She couldn’t suggest a shopping trip, Will liked shopping for clothes – his own – but she couldn’t imagine him stomping around fighting off other Saturday shoppers. Anyway he could hardly try clothes on, because of the cast he was stuck wearing his one pair of baggy jeans or joggers.
‘Okay. What about I drive us up to Liffingdon Hill? We could take a picnic and enjoy the view.’
‘Anything is good with me, babe. Anything.’
Two hours later they were finally on their way having stopped off at Lily’s for change of clothes and a cool box, and Sainsbury’s for picnic fodder and petrol. Will had insisted on clomping around the supermarket, wincing and complaining, eliciting sympathetic glances from men and women alike.
In Lily’s car he had pushed the front seat so far back that she couldn’t see his face, even out of the corner of her eye, when she was driving. As a consequence she could hear him clearly when he spoke, but he couldn’t hear her unless she shouted. She was hoarse by the time they reached Liffingdon Hill.
The picnic area, nestled beneath tall and ancient oaks in full foliage, was dark and damp despite the sunshine. Lily heaved the cool box out of her boot and was pleased with herself for having a tartan blanket in there too. She pulled it out.
‘Shall we sit on the grass?’
Will glanced down at his cast, sighed then looked over at the picnic area where a dog was chasing several children while the parents looked on bored and tired. The only empty picnic table was covered in bird crap.
‘Yeah. Why not,’ he said, clomping off at an impressive speed while Lily followed with the cool box banging into her shins. ‘Here’s good.’ Will stopped and waited for Lily to spread out the blanket before dropping like a stone into the centre of it, his crutches splayed either side of him.
She stood with her hands on her hips and surveyed the view: miles and miles of rolling green hills undulated into the distance. The soft yellow stone and thatched roofs of Liffingdon Village clustered below them; fluffy white clouds floated across a warm blue sky.
She turned back to look at Will on the blanket just as he realised that she needed space to sit down and shuffled across to give her room.
It was barely noon but they broke the picnic out and began eating. Lily had brought pink lemonade – neither could drink alcohol, Lily was driving and Will was still knocking back super strength painkillers – which they poured into plastic champagne flutes.
‘Here’s to your friend Tess and whathisname,’ Will said, lifting his plastic to Lily’s.
‘Tess and Gareth.’ Lily clinked glasses with Will – a dull plastic thud rather than a sweet, tinkling ring.
‘I suppose you and Tess will be talking wedding dresses and bridesmaids for the next year.’ Will lay back with his hands behind his head and closed his eyes.
‘No. I don’t think we will. Tess says they’re getting married as soon as they can. Three months, she says.’
‘What’s the rush? She’s not…’
‘No. I don’t think so. That wouldn’t rush her anyway. They’re just keen to get on with their life together.’
‘Good for them.’ Will turned on his side away from her.
Lily gazed across the countryside, listening to birdsong and, quite quickly, Will’s soft snoring.
‘Sorry about that,’ he said an hour later. ‘I keep doing that, it’s the damn painkillers.’
Lily had packed the remains of the picnic back into the cool box and taken it back to the car while he slept.
‘Maybe you should cut down on them. Do you really need them now that your ankle is healing?’
Will sat up; he ran his hands through his hair, freakishly the action reminded Lily of Jackson. ‘They’re not for my ankle they’re for my arms and my armpits. The crutches chafe and it’s agony.’
Lily guffawed.
Will’s brow furrowed in exasperation.
‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘I know that was mean, but it sounded so funny.’
‘Yeah, I know. But it is painful; they rub and make my muscles ache.’
‘Sorry,’ Lily said again, but a snigger escaped through her nose.
‘I need to get up and walk around. I need to practice on this ankle so I can ditch the damn crutches.’ Will began to scrabble about on the blanket. ‘Did you have to put it on a slope?’
She didn’t remind him that he had chosen the spot but instead stood up and put both her arms out to help him up. He grabbed both her hands, his blue cast leg hovered in the air as he attempted to haul himself up, but he was too heavy. They both tumbled back onto the blanket.
Lily laughed and, reluctantly, Will joined in.
They had another go with Will starting on all fours, b
ut that didn’t work either. Lily could see the beads of sweat forming around his hairline.
‘How do you normally get up?’
‘I don’t normally lie on the ground.’
The dog that had earlier been chasing the children appeared beside them and started barking.
‘I fucking hate Jack Russells,’ Will spat.
‘Just ignore him.’
The dog yapped continuously as they struggled to get Will to his feet. Finally he stood upright and Lily pushed the crutches under his arms; she thought of the chafing and bit her lip.
Will stood still, acting nonchalant but breathing deeply. ‘Fucking cast, fucking ankle,’ he muttered under his breath.
Lily waited until his breathing calmed. ‘How much longer have you got to have it on?’
‘Weeks. By the end all my muscles will have withered and died. God I miss the gym. I never realised how much I enjoyed it.’
Poor Will, Lily thought, feeling sorry for him.
‘I’ll have to have physio too when the cast comes off. It’ll be ages before I can ride my bike again.’ He shook his head. ‘I probably won’t be able to get my bike boot back on for ages.’
He hobbled back across the picnic area with Lily and the yapping dog following. Will had to fend the dog off with his crutches as it tried to get into the car.
‘Be careful,’ Lily said, don’t let it in.
‘I am being careful. Mind you don’t drive over it. It’s so intent on coming with us it’ll probably lie down in front of the wheels.’
‘Hey, what you doing with my dog?’ The voice was loud and the owner big.
‘Nothing. We’re trying to fend it off.’
‘Him. Him.’ The dog owner corrected as she came close to the car, just as Will shut his door. Up close they could see three teeth standing up in her mouth, alone, like tombstones.
‘Start the engine,’ he muttered under his breath, which Lily did.
The woman scooped the Jack Russell up in her arms and kissed its head. The dog continued to yap and Lily could still hear it as she drove out of the car park.
It was comical really, great big woman, tiny little dog and both of them aggressive. She wanted to joke with Will about it but his chin was jutting out, his jaw clenched.
‘I fucking hate dogs,’ Will said.
‘Oh, I never realised.’ The future Lily had imagined for them had at least one dog in it.
They drove home in cranky silence, only the noise of the engine to keep them company.
Will lounged on the sofa while Lily busied herself emptying out the cool box, cleaning it, putting it back in her car. Finally she came to sit next to him.
‘Sorry,’ he said. ‘About earlier. It’s just so frustrating.’
‘I know.’ She patted his leg.
‘I’ve been talking to the office; I’m going to work from home next week, since I can’t get there easily.’
Lily hesitated. ‘I could take you,’ she said. ‘If you’re really stuck.’
‘Maybe occasionally,’ Will said, distracted by the TV. He flicked the remote, mindlessly going through the channels. ‘There is something else you could do for me,’ he said, without looking at her.
‘Yeah?’
‘Yeah. Got this thing coming up. Charity thing.’ He continued to flick through the channels, to stare at the TV.
‘Yeah?’
‘I signed up at the beginning of the year. I’ve got a lot of sponsorship, almost two thousand pounds.’
‘Wow. You never said.’
‘No. It was a work thing. Good isn’t it, two grand. Shame it’ll all go to waste if I don’t do the thing. It’s for that children’s charity, you know the one where the kids are carers for their parents and they go out for a treat, sometimes even a little holiday.’
Lily did know that charity, knew how important it was to Will because his own sister had been a carer to their mum and had pretty much brought Will up. She could feel the guilt being ladled on.
‘What’s the thing? When is it?’
‘Wednesday afternoon.’
‘Can’t you postpone? Do it another time? Do it when your ankle it better.’
‘No. It’s all laid on. I wondered if you would do it for me.’
‘What is it?’
‘I think you’d enjoy it.’
‘I’m at work on Wednesday.’
‘You could take half a day. They’d let you. It’s for charity. Two thousand pounds.’ He shook his head. ‘I’ll lose it otherwise. I can’t collect if I don’t do the thing. Such a waste.’
‘What is the thing?’ she asked again. The last sponsored event he’d taken part in had been a cycle ride – one hundred miles. He’d trained for months, spent a fortune on a gel seat for his bike and still moaned about arse-ache. ‘I haven’t done any training. I’m not gym fit like you.’
‘I’m not gym fit now either. Amazing how quickly that goes.’ He sighed. ‘Anyway this doesn’t need any training. They give you a bit of instruction first. It doesn’t take long.’
‘What is it?’ She knew he was stalling.
‘Skydiving.’
‘What? No.’ She shook her head and got up and stomped to the kitchen. ‘No way,’ she called to him.
‘You jump in tandem, not on your own. You don’t have to do anything really. Just enjoy the ride.’
‘No.’
‘You’re only in the sky for about five minutes.’
‘No.’
‘Two thousand pounds. For the children. For charity.’
‘Can’t one of your mates do it for you?’
‘They’re already doing it.’
‘Well, can’t you transfer your sponsorship to one of them?’
‘Not really. It doesn’t work like that.’
‘Well I can’t do it.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because…I don’t want to.’
‘Why not?’
‘I don’t like heights.’
‘Then you should challenge that fear.’
‘It’s not a fear. I don’t like heights.’
‘All the more reason to do it then.’ Will gave her one of his devastating smiles, the one he used to get his own way.
‘No.’
‘Okay.’ He sighed. ‘But I’ve already paid for it. That’s another two hundred quid lost, on top of the sponsorship money.’
‘No.’
‘Okay. Shall we watch a film?’ He patted the sofa and Lily reluctantly sat next to him. ‘You can choose.’ He handed her the remote control. ‘As long as it’s not a girly one.’
‘I won’t stay tonight,’ Lily said, getting up after two hours of a thriller that she hadn’t particularly enjoyed.
‘Why not?’
‘I didn’t bring any of my things, or clean clothes.’
‘Why don’t you go and get them and I’ll order us a takeaway.’
‘Um.’ What she wanted to say was no, she didn’t want to stay cooped up in his house any longer, but then she realised that for him there weren’t many alternatives to being cooped up there. They didn’t normally spend every weekend, all weekend together. Lily often spent Saturday evenings with Tess but that probably wouldn’t be happening again soon, not now Tess had Gareth. Will invariably spent Sundays out on his motorbike, sometimes he even persuaded Lily to ride pillion.
She didn’t have anything else planned. She felt guilty. She felt mean. ‘Okay.’ She grabbed her bag and car keys.
‘Great news,’ Will said, when she came back carrying her overnight bag.
‘Yeah?’ Maybe he’d found someone else to do the skydive.
‘Just spoke to Big Lee from work and he says that if you do the skydive the firm will match the sponsorship. So that’ll be four grand.’
‘But I’m not doing it. I’ve already said I’m not doing it.’
‘Four thousand. For the children. For charity.’ Will made a pleading face; he didn’t quite put his hands together in prayer.
Lily sat down wit
h a thud. ‘What do I have to do?’
‘I knew it. I knew it. I said to Big Lee if they matched it you’d do it. You’re the best, babe. The best. You are attached by harness to your co-jumper. They do all the work; you don’t even have to worry about pulling the rip cord, unless you want to. You’ll just be along for the ride. And think of all that cash you’ll be raising. I’m so grateful to you Lily. You are the best.’
And the stupidest, Lily thought, fully aware that she had been manipulated. Could it be that bad? She was just jumping out of the plane. How high did go? Did it matter?
She wasn’t afraid of flying.
Just falling.
Eighteen
Monday and there was no sign of the non-doppelganger. Lily was relieved, remembering that he’d said he wouldn’t be around until the end of the week. Thank God.
She considered using Cyril’s absence as the reason for not being able to get time off work on Wednesday afternoon – after all, he was her line manager and he had to approve her holiday. In the end, she sent the request to him and hoped it would disappear. That way, she’d asked, but not been granted time off. Will would understand, sort of.
Veronica approved it. Lily’s heart sank when she read the email saying that Veronica was approving holidays with immediate effect and was also keeping a chart.
Bang went Lily’s excuse.
Things had certainly changed since Cyril had arrived; old Mr Benson used to approve all holiday – and he did approve all holiday, relying on his staff to work out rotas and cover. Now Mr Benson seemed to be less and less involved in the business; no one had seen him for weeks.
When Lily had said as much to Damon he replied that Mr Benson was ancient and it was only to be expected. Did that mean that Cyril Non-doppelganger was taking over? Was that how it worked? The finance director ran the company? Lily didn’t know much about Jackson but she knew even less about Cyril. What was his connection to the company that had bought out Bensons? He seemed to have been helicoptered in to save the day – according to Damon that was the rumour circulating around the company.
‘Fancy a cup of bitchy coffee and a cinnamon swirl?’ Damon waved a paper bag at her.