I looked down at myself, dropped the camisole I was holding up, letting it smooth over my flat chest, coming to rest over the top of my tap panties and garter belt. I looked at my smooth legs, shimmering in the nylons. I wasn't sure if I was impersonating a man or impersonating a woman. Perhaps two months ago, when I'd only crossdressed as a purely fetish experience, when Sara wasn't home, masturbating and then feeling guilty after, I'd have known I was a man impersonating a woman.
But now, after two months of reinforcement by Sara, of the constant attacks on my manhood, after two months of her sexual reinforcement of my femininity, I had completely switched to the other side. I'd certainly stopped thinking of myself as a man.
The evening with Sara and Steve had been the last straw. How could I possibly think of myself as a man? A man impersonating a woman? I'd gone to a club with my wife, dressed in lingerie and half effeminate, gay looking, and watched her fuck a man. Oh no, I could not possibly think of myself as a man impersonating a woman.
I'd completely switched. No longer a man impersonating a woman, she'd helped me become a woman impersonating a man.
And that's why I wanted breasts. I wanted to look down my flat chest and see breasts, beautiful breasts, pushing out my camisole. I wanted to wear a bra filled out not with paste or silicone, but with real breasts.
"You'll love them," Sara said reassuringly after watching these thoughts flit across my face. "You'll make a wonderful woman."
"I don't doubt it," Dr. Nelson agreed.
"A woman?" I asked
Sara smiled at Dr. Nelson, a knowing smile, a smile sharing a secret.
"Okay, now that we've got that settled, we have to finish your exam," Dr. Nelson said.
"But you said that the breasts would be fine."
"Yes, the hormones will affect your chest just perfectly, but I need to do a complete exam, to see, well, if the rest can tolerate it."
For the first time since we met, she had a less than professional tone in her voice, and it sent a shiver down my spine.
"Can you please take off your panties, and lay down on the table."
I must have shaken, visibly, for this, more than the exposed lingerie, was the one thing that shamed me. As much as Sara had tormented me about my cock, it was the utmost in shame to have to expose it, especially with Sara sitting there, dangling a heel of her foot, smiling at me, her eyes laughing at me.
I pulled down my panties with as much dignity as I could. Let me tell you that dignity and a dollar would buy you some coffee. And you might still need some money to complete your purchase.
"Okay, lay back now, please, legs up, here and here, yes, that's right...there...right," Dr. Nelson moved part of the table.
"Whoa, shit, what...what are you doing?" It felt like the lower half of the table was falling out.
"Here, just put your feet here."
I did what she told, feeling my stockings rub something. "What is that? What are you doing?"
"One second, dear," Dr. Nelson said. I turned my head around, saw Sara smiling.
"Sara...what?"
Dr. Nelson answered for both. "It's funny, I'm sorry, all women know what this is from their teens on forward. I suppose I should explain, since it may be new to you," she chuckled. "These are stirrups. They are used by gynecologists for examinations and for... well, I use them to keep things spread down here so I can conduct my exam. Lift your head...there...see your feet? That strap keeps your feet in the stirrup so you won't...well...suddenly clamp your legs on me. For an optimum view, and for my safety."
From my angle, lying flat on my back, I could not really see what was at my feet. I tugged at them and found them held in place, essentially bound to the stirrups.
"Can you reach above your head, please? You'll find handholds on the top of the table, at either corner. That's it, stretch up there," she said as I reached and found the handles, which raised my midsection up ever so slightly. "No, please don't let go, this keeps you at just the right angle for my exam. I could bind your hands up there, but I don't think we need that, do we?"
Terrified at being totally bound to the table like this, my ass hanging over, my legs spread, totally vulnerable, I shook my head no.
"Good."
I watched Dr. Nelson pick up a pair of latex gloves and snap them onto her hands. "Now," she said, taking hold of my limp cock, "the hormones will have the biggest effect on this," she said, looking to Sara. "As I said, the pills will not decrease libido, in fact, they can sometimes increase it, but they will have an effect on erectile functionality."
"Meaning what, Susan," Sara asked.
"Well, probably about 30 to 40 percent of sexual arousal will not be accompanied by erection, and even when erection is achieved, the blood flow will be slightly decreased, so you will lose the full rigidity of the erection."
"So, he won't get it up as often or as much," she snorted?
"Basically, yes, though as I said, arousal will still occur as frequently, and orgasm is still very possible."
Sara smiled. Dr. Nelson probed my cock, and my complete humiliation scared me. Here was a pretty woman, massaging my cock, and I was soft as a tissue.
"Is that something you are willing to accept," Dr. Nelson asked, not of me, but of Sara.
"Look at it, do you think it matters," Sara laughed out loud.
"Well, Sara, it's limp now, so it's hard to tell. Let me do the exam," Dr. Nelson said, putting both hands on it, stretching, pulling, probing and feeling. It was so humiliating to be lying there like an animal, talked about as if I did not exist.
"What are you doing," I finally had the courage to ask, feeling something cold on my cock.
"Sorry, cold again. It's just a ruler, I need to take some measurements. Sara, it's about one, soft, which is of course small, but it's hard to make a diagnosis without erection. I'm stretching the skin, and there is not much give, indicating that a normal erection is probably not possible. Let me ask you, have you ever achieved orgasm from penetration with it?"
Sara laughed. "Um, no, never."
"And you can orgasm, correct? I mean, some women cannot."
Sara laughed again. "Yes, Susan, orally from him, yes."
"What about penetration? I mean, I know you can't with your husband, but I assume you were with a man, or men, before you got married? I remember you dating in college, could you back then?."
"Yes, Susan, of course. No, no problem back then...nor...more recently, as I've found out," she smiled, clearly referring to the evening with Steve.
"Recently," Dr. Nelson asked, pausing her exam, turning to Sara, "but you've been married for...I mean...oh," recognition crept into Dr. Nelson's voice. "you mean...oh...I see what you mean. Of course, I suppose that was to be expected. Well, so you can orgasm from oral and from penetration, good, so it's not you, then."
I wanted to jump off the table. My hands started to grip the hand holds tightly. I think if my feet were not held in place, I would have run from the office screaming. This was the humiliation I had to endure? And the humiliation of having Dr. Nelson tugging on my limp cock was not the worst of it. Seeing the look on Dr. Nelson's face, the pretty features, turning, smiling, as my wife so casually informed her I was a cuckold, caused a spark of sexual energy. I could actually feel my cock jump, blood rushing to it, filling the small sac of skin, hardening.
"Ooop," Dr. Nelson jumped when my cock twitched, dropping it, surprised at the sudden movement. She quickly regained her composure. "I'm so sorry, that was not very professional. I just...well...I've examined many men, and have dealt with many that get an erection, but it usually comes from the first touch. I've found that if they don't get...aroused...when I first grab them, I'm safe," she laughed.
"I'm so sorry Dr. Nelson," I quickly said, trying to make it stop.
"No...no, it's just that...well, this is quite interesting."
"What's interesting, Susan," Sara asked, looking at me.
"Well, let me make sure I understand before I jump to
conclusions. When you refer to recent orgasm through penetration, you are not referring to, um, marital aids, dildos, and the like?"
"Um, no, Susan."
"By recent, of course, then, you mean you were with a man?"
"Oh, yes, Susan, a man," Sara giggled. I felt my cock twitch again, and Dr. Nelson smiled.
"I see. You have no problem talking about this in front of your husband? I don't mean to pry."
"No, Susan, my husband knows. He was there watching it happen."
I gasped again, twitched again, closed my eyes, felt my face redden.
"I'm sorry to pry, Sara, and, well, it's not really necessary for my physical diagnosis, but I am a psychiatrist and, well, mentally, it's fascinating. Plus, well, being old friends..."
"Susan, it's okay, really."
"Well, your husband...he didn't become erect when I touched his nipples, which often happens, or when I examined his cock, which is when it always happens. In fact, he did not...well, he didn't become aroused at all until...you mentioned being unfaithful."
"I know, Susan," Sara smiled. "Besides the gender issues, we...well, no sense hiding it from you, we've been exploring power sharing and cuckolding."
Cuckolding. I jerked again at the word.
Dr. Nelson laughed. "I'm sorry again, I don't mean to laugh," she said looking at me, "but I do need to take a measurement of an erection, and, well, since you didn't develop an erection with manual stimulation, well, I suppose this will do.
Sara smiled at Dr. Nelson, then turned to me. "Don't be shy, lover, Susan is a doctor, it's okay if she knows...purely for medical reasons of course...that you get excited hearing about me fuck a man."
"Sara, please, stop," I begged her, starting to let go of the handles on the exam table.
"No, no, you have to hold on," Dr. Nelson said, scolding me, "I'm not done with the exam."
Sara moved closer to me, behind the table, behind my head. "I could use these, Susan, maybe that would help," she laughed, wrapping a strap around my right hand. "I don't want him to get up now, do I?" She then fastened another strap around my left hand, leaving me securely strapped to the table.
"Is it erect yet, Susan," she asked Dr. Nelson.
"No, not yet."
"Oh, don't stop getting aroused, lover, Dr. Nelson needs to measure," Sara smiled softly at me. "Maybe I should tell her more? Hmmm? Should I tell her what happened after I fucked a man? Would she like that?"
"Please, Sara, no, please don't do this," I begged her, shamed at what I'd done.
"Perfect Sara," Dr. Nelson said, "I can feel it pulsating. It should be fully erect soon."
"What's the matter, sissy, don't you want your doctor to know what you did in the car? She really should know, I mean, for medical reasons, for the hormones."
"Sara, no," I pleaded with her.
"Tell me Susan, on these hormones, if my husband also took different hormones, maybe testosterone, could that be bad? Shouldn't you know about that?"
"Well, actually, all kidding aside, yes, Sara, and yes, John," she said looking at me, "that would be very serious."
"Why Susan, is there testosterone in a man's semen?"
"A trace amount, why?"
"Sssaaarrrraaa," moaned, "please..."
"Well, you see, after I fucked Steve...that was the man's name, Steve," Sara moved her head down by my ears, so her whispers carried right across them to Dr. Nelson. "Sissy here...went down on me," she said, licking my ear.
"What's that got to do....oh....oh my."
I was groaning in embarrassment. I strained against the bonds of the exam table. I knew I had an erection, I could feel Dr. Nelson's hands wrapped around it.
"Did Steve use a condom, Sara," Dr. Nelson asked her.
"No."
"Well, did he...um...withdraw?"
"No."
"So...then..." her voice trailed off.
"Uuuggghhh," I moaned.
"Yes, he licked me, licked it all up," Sara said, licking my ear.
"Sara, you little tramp," Dr. Nelson laughed.
"I know, I was a bad girl," Sara smiled shyly.
"Yes you were. And judging from your husband's erection, he loved it. Keep licking his ear, I want to get a measurement while he is fully erect."
"You know, he loved it so much, Susan, my little sissy, kneeling before me, his tongue pressed into me, sucking me, tasting the cum."
"Is this as big as he gets?"
"I'm afraid so, Susan. You see now, don't you?"
"Yes, I'm afraid I do, Sara."
"What, please, what," I demanded.
"Well, I was right. He is much too small for you to have an orgasm from penetration, anyway. Impossible. I can see why you are not worried about the hormones, it's not like you would even notice." She chuckled, causing me to strain even more.
"Did it hurt, when you were with this man, Sara? I'd be concerned that you would tighten up."
"No doctor, it felt amazing. It was tight, but...it was...the most incredible sex I've ever had," Sara gushed.
Please, I thought, just take me away. Stop tormenting me like this.
"I assume you plan on continuing this, especially after your husband's feminization.
"You know, there is no way I could stop, Susan."
"Oh, I'm not condemning, don't misunderstand. There are things you could do with this, still," she smiled, squeezing my cock. "I assume, since you are here and not in a lawyer's office, you love him?"
"Very much," she said with a genuine smile.
"I might suggest a hollow dildo then. They make a marital aid that slips over the male organ. It's very life like, not quite like a real cock, but close. It allows a couple to make love and let the wife have some satisfaction if the husband is not...well...too small."
"Would he feel it," Sara asked?
Dr. Nelson laughed, "No, that's the beauty of it, especially in a femdom relationship. The male feels nothing but the emotional bond of fucking his wife, not the sexual. Again, I don't mean to probe...well...yes I do...but you are in such a relationship, I presume."
Sara smiled.
"Of course," Dr. Nelson laughed.
"You know, I didn't say anything before, I didn't want to embarrass you John, but it's apparent that you'd like that. Anyway, the lingerie you're wearing is absolutely beautiful. It's going to look so much better though, when you have some breasts to fill it with."
I was gasping for breath, the stimuli was just about overwhelming.
"Susan, you said he would have trouble getting an erection, and if we use a hollow dildo for me, how will he have an orgasm. I mean, I love my husband, and as kinky as we have gotten, sharing sexual pleasure with him is very important to me."
"Well, obviously penetrative sex is out. Though small, he could still do it, but if not fully erect it could hurt him, so once he starts the hormones I'd not allow him to penetrate you anymore. To be safe. After that, be creative. You know, really, the best way to think of it? Think of him as a woman, which is only natural. If you wish to sexually please him, use all his senses, smell, taste, sight, sound, to seduce him. Really, pretend you are a man seducing a woman. Use romance, which will excite him. Then, when you want an actual orgasm, use your hands, your mouth, anything to massage his clitty."
Sara smiled, I could tell this was very pleasing news to her.
"Finally, well, he should not penetrate you, but you know that does not mean you can't penetrate him," Dr. Nelson smiled. Then saw the look on my face, and Sara's face. "You've already down that, haven't you?"
"Just once, I was kind of scared."
"Well, he has to be ready for it, I should do an exam, just to be safe," Dr. Nelson said, professionally.
I felt a cold sensation on my rear, followed by a gentle pushing, "Relax," she told me. Her fingers were probing my ass, which had the singular effect of exciting me even more.
"Hmm, he sure responds well to the stimulation. Let me check the prostate gland," she said, shifting.
&nb
sp; "Ohhhh," a moan escaped from my lips, as I jumped in pleasure. "Oh, Sara, he's going to take to this very very well. The hormones will cause a slight increase in the erogenous zone down there, and without them he is already going wild. I tell you, I'm almost jealous. You see, there is a gland in here, towards his front, which when massaged" -- I yelped out a moan -- "like that, drives a man wild."
"Can he orgasm that way," Sara asked, a nasty, erotic look in her eyes.
"That's actually very, very rare. Usually, something like that is called milking. What will happen is a weak ejaculation, without a real orgasm. It can be erotic, if slightly frustrating, for the man. However, if you apply just some gentle manual stimulation to the organ, while penetrating, then yes, an orgasm."
"Milking?"
"Yes, the great thing about it? Ejaculation without orgasm? There is some pleasure, but no loss of libido. He will cum, but still be erect, or semi-erect and as horny as ever."
"Susan, that sounds...amazing."
Dr. Nelson laughed. "It really is. You know, I can show you. I need a semen sample, anyway, might as well do it like this rather than send him to the bathroom to masturbate. Let me call the nurse back in."
"Jesus Christ, are you kidding me," I practically screamed, terrified beyond belief, humiliated, jumping at the bonds. "Sara, wait," I begged.
Dr. Nelson looked at Sara. "Feel free to gag him, if you wish."
"Gag...but...I mean we are kind of new, I don't...I've never gagged him before. I don't even have one."
"Oh, I'm sorry, I assumed you..."
"I think I need to go shopping," Sara laughed at her friend.
Susan smiled at her, "I guess indeed."
"You know, I could...." Sara, to the side of the table, reached under her skirt. "Good thing I didn't wear a garter belt," she said, pulling down her satin panties, pulling them off. "Can I?" she asked Dr. Nelson, motioning to me with the panties.
"Be my guest, Sara."
Sara waived the panties over my face, letting me inhale the musky smell. She was clearly damp from watching me suffer my humiliating treatment by Dr. Nelson.
"Open up, love," she smiled, holding the panties in front of my mouth.
A Change in Our Marriage - The Sissy Cuckold Page 19