"I want an orgasm too," Sara smiled at me wickedly. "Fair is fair."
"I'm sorry Sara," I said, genuinely feeling guilty now, but looking up at my bonds, my eyes asking to be untied.
"Untie you," she smiled at me, starting to lift her pussy off my cock, "but you are not done yet."
"Sara, please," I asked, realizing what she wanted. She knew I couldn't bring her off penetrating her, but also knew that my mouth would always bring her to orgasm.
"Fair is fair," she chuckled devilishly.
"But Sara," I said. My libido was now gone, and her demand was not exciting, but revolting. She knew, of course, which is what she wanted.
"Awww, does that disgust you, lover," she laughed? "Doesn't my little sissy slut want to suck her own cum from his wife? To do the only thing she can to bring her wife to orgasm?"
Truth in fact, as always, after orgasm, it disgusted me. She knew. Of course she knew.
"I find it thrilling," she smiled as she moved around my head, her thighs trapping it on either side so it was unable to move, her hands running into my hair, holding my head steady. "It's my turn, slave, you drink what Mistress gives you," she said, at the same time pulling my head to her pussy while lowering herself further.
Smothered as I was by her sweet folds, trapped between her thighs, I could do nothing but open my mouth and accept her offering. Accept the divine, her pussy, in what ever condition it was offered.
"Good, Julie, good," she smiled, opening her folds further, over my mouth, my nose rubbing her clit. "Ohhhh," she moaned as the taste, the terrible taste washed all over my mouth, disgusting me, but still, the humiliation exciting me. Sara's expert mix of pleasure and horror, always pushing, always testing me.
She shuddered in orgasm. I shuddered in disgust. A perfect duo, her pleasure, my displeasure, mixed together like the juices being forced into by my mouth.
"Yes, lover, eat it, eat it all out of me, your punishment for making a mess in me, your punishment for not being able to satisfy your wife. It's good, so good."
She was shaking. As always, I knew my tongue could please her. If nothing else, there was always that.
"You know, we need to do that more often," she said, moving off my face as she came down from her orgasm.
"What, oral sex?" I asked hopefully.
She laughed. "Well that too. No, that clean up. I know you hate it love, that you do it just to submit to me. Well I love that, it makes me feel so...I don't know...powerful, I guess. To know you do something like that, something that disgusts you, all because I want you to. It actually turns me on, probably as much as the submission turns you on."
I smiled at her.
"So, every time you cum, I want you to do that, to...clean it up...lick it up." She saw my face. "God, it's gross, I know, after you cum and your libido is gone. But, I also know that before you cum, when you're excited, it's not so gross. Well, just consider it a way to submit, lover."
As if I wasn't doing that enough already, I thought, my eyes getting heavy. We drifted off, asleep, the last thing I remembered was tasting that taste, her taste, my taste, in my mouth, smelling it all over my face.
The next morning, as I was getting dressed, attaching my stockings to my six strap garter belt, Sara walked in the room, holding the dildo, her cock, in her hands.
"Here," she said, holding the cock out to me. I didn't move. "Take it Julie," she said.
I reached out, accepted the cock into my hands.
"You are hesitating, why? Jealous? Scared? Listen I didn't bring this to bed last night, I didn't use my cock on you last night, I gave you something you wanted. Well, now, are you afraid of what I want?"
"Sara, yes, no, I don't know," I answered, confused.
She smiled. "Well, even a horse has to be trained slowly to accept a saddle. Don't worry, we'll go slowly before that happens."
"Slowly? Before what happens?"
"Before I let a real..." she hesitated, "never mind."
Real man? Real cock? Real? Real!
"Sara," I said, taking a step back as she grinned at me.
"Julie, Julie, Julie. Don't worry, love, don't worry, I know what I'm doing. Just wrap your fingers around the cock, Julie. Sit down here on the edge of the bed, my cock in your hands. Yes, there...there, sit...I want to do something before you go to the office today."
I sat on the bed, the cock in my hands, my fingers wrapped around it, listening to Sara talk.
"That's right baby, hold onto it, in fact, stroke it, that's my cock, you know. Feel it, how thick it is, how hard your wife's cock gets. I know it's embarrassing, knowing that your wife's cock is bigger than yours, but get used to it by holding it, playing with it."
"Sara," I moaned.
"Shhh, close your eyes. Don't be afraid, love, it's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm your wife, you love my breasts, don't you? Keep your eyes closed, imagine your hands running over my breasts. Keep stroking, but think of my breasts...yes...yes, like that. You love my legs, lover, don't you, long, toned, muscular legs. And my pussy? Go on, stroke it, play with it, thinking of my pussy."
I did as she asked, eyes closed, imagining her pussy, while stroking the dildo, feeling a stirring in my panties.
"Now, the cock, lover, is just one more part of your wife, one more part of me. Think of it, attached to me, kneeling before it, sucking it like you do my pussy, my ass, my breasts, my legs. My cock, Julie, just one more part of my body, one more thing for you to worship. Do you want to suck my breasts, lover?"
"Yes," I moaned, actually stroking harder.
"Hmmm, do you want to lick my legs, run your tongue up my nylons?"
"Oh, Sara, yes, you know I love to do that."
"Say it, then."
"Sara, I want to lick you legs," I moaned.
"Up to my pussy. You want to lick my pussy, taste me?"
"Yes...yes," I moaned.
She waited.
"I want to lick your sweet pussy," I said, pleasing her.
"Keep your eyes closed," she whispered in my ear, sitting down next to me. I felt her fingers touch mine, wrapping around the cock, pumping with me.
"Yes, lover, you are always so eager to taste me, to have me over you, smothering you."
"Sara," I gasped. Her hands pumped mine.
"My breasts, my ass, my legs, my pussy...you want them...and..."
Yes, I knew what came next...
"My cock, lover, you want my cock too, just another part of my sexy body. You want it too, don't you?"
"Oh God, Sara..."
"You want to touch my cock, with your hands, like you do my breasts, stroking your mouth on it, licking it, sucking on it. Tell me, lover, tell me."
"Please Sara," I moaned, furiously stroking her cock with both our hands.
"Tell me," she rasped.
"I want your cock, Sara," I moaned, softly.
"Yes, lover, yes, louder," she said, one hand leaving our pumping cock, coming to rest on my panties, the other still stroking with me.
"I want your cock, Sara," I repeated, louder now.
She stroked me on the outside of my panties several times, then stopped.
"Again," she said.
"I want your cock, Sara," I said urgently. She rewarded me with continued stroking on my panties.
"I want your cock," she repeated, "say it again, lover."
"Ohhh, Sara," I moaned. "I want your cock."
"Yes, lover, yes. That's how you get me to please you," she moaned, rubbing my panties harder. "I want to suck your cock. Say it," she ordered me.
"Sara....ohhhh....I want to suck your cock," I said, throwing back my head.
She kept rubbing my panties, hard enough to drive me wild with sexual desire, but not hard enough to bring me to the edge of orgasm.
"Again, lover...I want to suck your cock..."
"Ohhhh," her fingers drove me wild, "I want to suck your cock."
"Say it, Julie...repeat after me...'I want ...'"
"I want," I moaned.
"To suck..."
"To suck..."
"cock!"
"cock," I gasped, missing it at first.
"Yes, Julie, again...I want..."
"I want..."
"To suck..."
"To suck..."
"Cock."
"Cock."
Realization, a hit, crept into my brain.
"Yes, perfect Julie, all of it, all together now. I want...to suck...cock."
My brain was screaming at me, but my senses were lost now, as always, lost in Sara's sexual game, her use of my excitement to push me to the edge.
"Sara, please...don't..."
"Say it, Julie...say it...," she demanded, "say what you want!"
"I want to suck," I paused ever so slightly, afraid to say it the way she wanted me to, afraid to leave off the word that distinguished cock from Sara's cock.
"Say it Julie."
"I want to suck...cock," I whimpered.
"Yes, yes, again," she encouraged me, as she rubbed me.
"I want to suck cock," I said with a little less hesitancy.
"Again," she ordered me.
"Please Sara," I begged.
"Say it," she demanded.
"I want to suck cock."
"Oh, Julie, you make me so happy, I want you to do it too." Sara gushed, "Now, say it again."
"I want to suck cock," the words spilled out of my mouth.
"Yes, my little sissy, I know, I know. Again."
The humiliation was almost unbearable. That only made it more exciting. "I want to suck cock."
"Yes, Julie, of course you do. All girls do. Don't worry, it's natural. Tell me again."
"I want to suck cock." Why...why was I saying it like this? Did I? What was she doing to me?
She leaned over and kissed me hard on my mouth, while at the same time gently taking her hand away from my panties, leaving me hard, on the edge, unsatisfied.
"Sara...but...I...didn't mean..."
"Shhhh, Julie, shhhh, don't say anything yet. Don't spoil it."
"But I..."
"Shhhh, love, shhhh. Don't worry, baby, don't worry. I know you aren't ready quite yet."
Yet? Not yet? What about not ever? I didn't want to suck cock. My brain was shouting the words. Say it, dammit, say it to her. Tell her no, no, you most certainly don't want to suck cock. Right?
Right?
RIGHT?
Why didn't the words come out?
She was still stroking the cock with me, more slowly now, slowly, till she stopped.
"Sara, please, I didn't...I don't...," I couldn't finish it. Oh, god, did I want that? Was she right?
"Shhh, lover, shhh, the horse always bucks at first, it's natural. But, lover, so is the saddle. So is the saddle. A little at a time, lover. Finish getting dressed, then come downstairs," she said, getting up from the bed. "Oh, and sissy, bring my cock with you," she smiled over her shoulder.
She was so diabolical. So fucking diabolical. I hated it. I loved her.
I finished getting dressed, my suit and tie, a man's uniform, going over my lingerie. My yin and yang.
I walked into the kitchen, the cock in my hands practically burning them with desire and disgust. She smiled at me, looking up from the cock, to my face.
"What...what do you want me to do with this," I asked her, just wanting to get the thing out of my hands.
She smiled at me. "Get on the floor and suck it dry," she laughed watching my face go white. "Just put it in your briefcase, love, and come get some coffee."
I did a double take, but despite her smile, her eyes said I'd better not argue.
I put the cock in my briefcase, hands shaking, and joined her at the table, where she had a cup of coffee waiting for me.
"Lover, are you happy," she asked me.
The question threw me. Happy? Was I happy?
"What do you mean, Sara?"
"Are you happy?"
I thought about that for a few seconds. "Yes."
"Are you sure? Think about this. You have lost my faithfulness, you share my body, you have even lost your dignity. All to another man. Are you happy?"
"I...I think so."
"Love, if I saw you with another woman, if I knew you were being unfaithful, I'd be insane with jealousy...and so angry. Are you jealous?"
"Jealous...hell yes I'm jealous, Sara."
"But the jealously doesn't make you angry, does it?"
"No."
"It would me. What does it make you feel, then?"
I didn't answer.
"Excited? Does it excite you?"
"Yes," I whispered.
"I know it did that night at the club with Steve. That jealousy excited you, am I right?"
"Yes," I admitted to her.
"Why? Do you know why?"
"No, Sara, I...I can't explain it," I said, a tear running down my face. How could I? I honestly didn't know. The jealousy drove me wild with excitement, wild with passion; instead of anger, I was incredibly turned on, it was totally overpowering.
"Right now, John, this morning, would you rather make love to me or watch a man make love to me? One or the other?"
"Sara, I can't..."
"No, answer. Would you rather make love to me, or watch a man make love to me? If you could have either, which would it be?"
"Sara, I...I honestly don't know," I said, hands shaking.
"Lover, that itself is a huge answer, just not knowing. And that is why I feel comfortable with this, doing this, because you want it as much as I do, right? If you weren't a cuckold at heart, didn't want this on some level, didn't need it, you would never let me fuck a man like I did with Steve."
"I know," I had to admit. Of course, yes.
"My little cuckold," she smiled, "I love you so much."
I was almost moved to tears by her words.
"I'm pushing your limits, love, aren't I?"
"Yes, Sara, farther than I'd imagined."
"But you don't want me to stop, do you? You want me to keep pushing? You want to keep submitting?"
"Yes, Sara."
"Lover, remember, please, remember, that if I go over the line, if it's too much, you must tell me. I mean that, this is a relationship, built on love and trust, and this always, always has to be something we both want."
"I know, Sara, I know."
"I'm pushing you very hard in some areas. Not just the cuckolding, but the feminization, and forcing you to confront your feelings as a woman...I judge your desire of it by the reaction I get from you, and so far, I don't think I've gone too far, have I?"
"I don't think so."
"In anything?"
"No," I said, blushing.
"Even this morning?"
I shook my head now, face even redder. I could not look her in the eye. She wanted me to admit it.
"Good, because we need to work on that more. That's why I want you to bring the cock to work today, so you can get used to the saddle even more."
I looked at her questioningly.
"Love, a horse is trained to the saddle, a dog is trained to the leash, a sissy is trained to the cock," she smiled.
"You want to train me for the dildo," I asked.
She turned on her smile. "I believe I said trained to the cock, love."
"But Sara, I...I'm....," I did not finish.
"Julie, Julie, you must trust me. I don't expect you to want a man any more than a puppy wants a leash. I'd no more think to give you to a man than a breeder would bring a puppy to a dog show. It takes training, love."
"But Sara, a puppy wants it, doesn't it?"
"What did you say earlier, Julie, upstairs? What did you say?"
I want to suck cock. That's what I said. She had me trapped, and she knew it, of course. Trapped and ready to train.
"Answer the question."
"I want to suck cock," I said to her.
"Yes, love, that's what you said. Now, I don't expect you to suck dick right now, but deep down inside, I think you want to.
I think you are afraid to, but that you need some guidance. Do you have any meetings today?"
"Um, yes, I have a sales review with VP of Finance after lunch."
"Oh, perfect, a supervisor," she beamed, "that will be just perfect."
"Perfect for what?"
"Julie, today, during your meeting, the first thing I want you to think of when you see Mr...what's his name?"
"Dan...Dan Olsen."
"The first think you need to think when you see Mr. Olsen is how he spent his lunch hour."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you see, when you see Mr. Olsen, you need to picture him at lunch, in his office, where he spent the entire hour fucking my brains out."
"Sara...you...you can't..."
"A whole hour with his cock inside my pussy, deep in there, inside parts of me your little cock never could reach, making me cum over and over, coating his cock with my juices."
"Sara," I gasped, "he's my boss, you can't..."
"I'm not going to, love, but I want you to have that visual image, it will make it easier. Trust me. All you need to do is picture that, love, his cock coated with me, smelling of me. The whole meeting, I want that image going through your head. And when you get to your office, I want you to lock your door, take the cock out of your brief case and spend fifteen minutes sucking it. Fifteen minutes licking my pussy juices off it. Fifteen minutes licking his cum off it. Fifteen minutes sucking the cock of the man who just fucked your wife. Fifteen minutes sucking a man's cock."
My head was spinning now, her teasing of me as a cuckold combined with the cock teasing was almost too much.
"Sara, please, you can't do..."
"Do what, lover? Fuck Mr. Olsen? Why? Sure, not now, not yet, but why? Don't you want your wife getting cock from a real man like that? Don't you want him knowing that his employee is a sissy, that after the meeting he is going back to his office to practice sucking cock? Are you afraid he'll come onto you? Want you to really suck his dick, right there, in the office?"
My head was back, my eyes closed, moaning.
She laughed. "You little slut! Enjoying that image? I told you, its just training, silly, cock training, you are not ready for the real thing...yet."
"Yet?"
"All in good time, my love, all in good time."
"In good time?"
"Of course, all in good time."
A Change in Our Marriage - The Sissy Cuckold Page 24