“He needs to be comfortable with it too!”
“I know. All I’m saying is that you make him feel so comfortable that he would do whatever you ask. He kind of loves you, you know. With your weird aversion to colour, your tea-habit and that DAFT way you organise your shampoos.”
Lucas shot her a look, which made her giggle.
“Sorry,” she grinned. “The point is he loves you. He’d probably move-in with you if you asked.”
“What if I want to?”
“What to what?”
“Want him to move in with me.”
Bonnie stilled. She watched Lucas from over the mug, steam billowing into her face. She had known the man for the better part of her life, and he had never opened himself up to any sort of serious relationship. Cavan had literally shattered the shell Lucas kept himself in. Lucas was gaining confidence, a spark relighting inside him that had died out as soon as he’d been shipped off to the Army. Cavan was magical.
“Do you really mean that?” she found herself asking.
Lucas nodded.
Leaning over, Bonnie took his hand in her own and squeezed. He frowned slightly at her. “Do not waste an opportunity to be happy, Lucas. Ask him. Make a big deal out of it. He’d appreciate knowing how much you want this and how much you care about him.”
“But is it too fast?”
“Does it matter?” she frowned. “If you both love each other and are mature about it, I don’t see any downsides to it.”
Somehow, having Bonnie’s approval, made the decision that much more real. It flooded Lucas’s insides with an overwhelming happiness. Not that he let it show at all. He squeezed his friend’s hand. “Whatever that baby is doing to your brain it’s working. You’re getting wiser.”
Bonnie swatted him on the arm. “Hush, you! I was smart before I got knocked-up!”
“You keep telling yourself that, Red.”
“I have a good mind to kick you out,” she stated.
“You won’t do it though.”
“Of course not!” she shook her head. “That’d be rude! Besides, who else would get me ice cream?”
Lucas shot her a deadpan look. “I am NOT getting you ice cream.”
“Lucas!”
“No.”
“Please?”
“No.”
“LUCA-A-A-S!”
“N. O.”
“Fine!” she huffed and wriggled lower in her seat, pouting.
Lucas ignored her, turning his attention to the TV and drinking the last of his tea. Suddenly his phone buzzed. Opening the text from Cavan, Lucas frowned. “Bonnie, did you just text Cavan to get me to buy you ice cream?”
“No.”
“Then how you explain this?” He turned his phone around so she could read the message.
[16:45] Lucas stop bullying Bonnie! If the baby needs ice cream get the woman some ice cream! Don’t be a grump, godfather! X
Bonnie kept her face as neutral as possible. She could feel Lucas’s eyes boring into her skull. “The kid must be psychic.”
“Cute,” Lucas intoned. “But you’re still not getting ice cream.”
“OH, COME ON MAN!”
They continued to bicker like this for the better part of an hour until, by some miracle of God himself, Fletcher returned home with a six-pack of beer for himself, and now Lucas, and a tub of raspberry ice cream for Bonnie.
Saturday PM
Lucas cast one last look in the mirror before sighing. This was as good as it was going to get. He glanced at his watch –he still had time. He was meeting Cavan in an hour and a half. He was treating the brat, taking him to a new restaurant up London. He’d heard only good reviews about the place, and he figured it would be the perfect place to show Cavan how much he meant to him. He knew the kid wasn’t really into such frivolities however Lucas wanted to mix things up a little bit.
Adjusting his collar one last time, he swiped his keys off the counter and left the flat. Hurrying down the stairs, he slipped into his car and started up the engine in record time before pulling out onto the main road.
The drive to London was uneventful.
He pulled up outside Cavan’s house and, instead of usually honking the horn, he slipped out into the soft night air. Walking up the garden path, he pressed the doorbell and waited as patiently as possible. The door swung open in a matter of moments to reveal Cavan. He had given himself a make-over –or perhaps his sister had finally gotten her hands on him. He was dressed in pressed pants, a dark blue dress shirt and a sleek black blazer over the top. He’d even styled his hair to sit in thick, dark waves away from his eyes. It left his face looking open and beautiful.
“You look amazing,” Lucas admired.
Cavan blinked and then grinned. “Thanks. So, do you. You look hotter than every James Bond.”
Lucas scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Of course, I do, brat. That much is obvious.”
Cavan laughed charmingly as he closed the door and slid his hand into Lucas’s. They walked up the drive enjoying the soft night air against their skin. Lucas opened his door and as soon as Cavan was comfortably inside, he closed the door and went around to the driver’s side.
Driving into London was always manic, and it was one of the reasons Lucas hated doing it. However, this was a special night for the two of them, so he was going to eat the parking charges and hope to God the restaurant was as good as the reviews claimed it was.
When they finally got into the restaurant and were seated Lucas had to admit it looked pretty nice; the countertops at the bar were black, speckled marble, the wood was dark and polished and the wall art was 3D with a mixture of gold, silver, black and bronze cubes jutting out in all directions. The large orb-lights descend from the ceiling in various heights and cast a soft, barely-there glow on the diners underneath.
Each table had a slender vase with a single, fat black rose in it. The plates were black, too, rimmed with a single band of gold.
It was spectacular.
Cavan looked entirely stunned as they settled down in their seats. The glow of the lights made him look incandescent. Lucas felt his heart hammering in his chest. His throat was dry. He couldn’t deny his gratitude when the waitress swept into their airspace and took their drink orders with a promise to return for the food.
The menus were sleek, edged in gold with thick black font. They discussed what they wanted to eat and how best to go with the starters and dessert. There was no way they couldn’t get both, after all.
The waitress returned. They placed their order.
Cavan fidgeted in his seat, looking like a kid in a candy store. He was buzzing with excitement and his green eyes kept darting around taking it all in as other couples chattered quietly around them. Lucas was too enamoured at the sight of his lover that all he could do was smile.
This was what he wanted. Right here and now, this was what he wanted his life to be about; exploring new things with Cavan, watching the kid smile so brightly and admire wondrous things around him. Enjoying the gentle buzz of energy that constantly drifted off his body in waves. Feeling him curl around Lucas in the dead of night as they slept, his head nestling against the older man’s chest. The box felt like it suddenly weighed a ton in his pocket. Perhaps this was the time, before their table was cluttered with plates?
Swallowing thickly he dug the box out of his pocket and held it in his lap under the table. Clearing his throat, he drew Cavan’s attention to him. God, he looked beautiful. Straightening himself in the chair, he looked across the table and tried to exude some sort of confidence.
“Cavan,” he began, “I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“Sounds serious,” Cavan grinned brightly. “What is it?”
Taking a deep breath, Lucas tried to force the words. “These last nine months have been nothing short of an adventure for us. Me especially. You’ve opened my eyes and world up to a brand new experience, love. Romance. Being happy. Before you, I hadn’t felt those things for years. I
’m almost convinced I hadn’t felt them at all, until you.”
Cavan’s expression softened, his eyes sparkling.
“You make my week worth working through. Everything feels happier when you’re around. I –”
“Here are your starters!” the waitress chimed.
Lucas’s expression morphed quicker than Cavan could blink. Grinding his jaw together, he shot her a somewhat subdued glare before making more space for the two plates. When she left, Lucas let out a long sigh and tried to calm his irritation down.
Cavan tried to bite back a smile. “So, you were saying?”
Lucas glanced down at the food, the box heavy in his clammy palms. This was the first time he was nervous in a long, long time. “I think it can wait,” he finally said forcing a small smile.
Cavan’s expression drooped a little. “Are you sure? Whatever it is I don’t mind.”
Lucas adopted a much brighter expression. “No, no, it can wait. Let’s eat this food before it gets cold. I don’t think either of us can afford to come here for the next ten years so we might as well make the most of it.”
“It does look amazing!” Cavan agreed, seemingly distracted. “And these are just the starters!”
Lucas breathed a sigh of relief.
For the next hour and a half, they ate the food that was brought to them. It was only in the interval between their second course –yes, they needed to eat as much of the cuisine as possible –and their dessert that Lucas felt the swell of courage burning up in his chest again. Maybe it was indigestion. Either way, he was going to take a shot with asking.
“Cavan, you remember earlier that I had something I wanted to ask you?”
Cavan frowned and then beamed. “Yes! What was it you wanted to ask me?” He raised the wine glass and took a sip.
Suddenly, all words failed Lucas. Slowly, very slowly, he placed the black velvet box on the table and slid it across to Cavan. Green eyes widened comically. If the situation hadn’t been so serious, Lucas may have chuckled. However, his heart was lodged in his throat.
Cavan stared down at the box. His insides were knotting over and over again, playing havoc with the huge meal he’d just eaten. Plus, there was dessert on the way.
Oh God, what was happening?
A velvet box generally only meant one thing; was that really a step they were ready to take?
He felt overly flushed and he was curious about what was inside however at the same time he was terrified of opening the box. Not because he didn’t love Lucas, because he did. However, he ached to know.
“Lucas …” he breathed; his arms frozen. He couldn’t reach out for the box, as much as he wanted to.
A tremor ran down his spine. Reaching out, he took the box in his hand and slid it closer. His stomach flipped. He tried to focus on breathing.
“Lucas … are you sure about this?”
Lucas’s face was a blank mask as usual, but his eyes were flooded with concern. It made Cavan’s heart skip a beat, seeing the older man so vulnerable. The hairs on the back of his neck prickled.
“Surer than I’ve been about anything.”
Cavan took the box in both hands, breathing hard and pried the lid open. He gasped, nearly choking as he stared down at the contents. With quaking fingers, he reached in and lifted up the key in a questioning manner.
“I … I don’t understand.”
“Cavan,” Lucas said, looking his square in the eye. “Will you move-in with me?”
Chapter 33
"Will you move-in with me?"
The words rung in Cavan's ears. The velvet box seemed to itch at his skin as his palm grew clammy. He suddenly felt flushed. He hadn't been expecting this at all. His heart had stopped when he'd seen the box, thinking that Lucas was going to propose. However, in hind-sight maybe the box was a little too big for a ring? Regardless, what Lucas was asking was still pretty big.
'We've only been dating for a few months!' he panicked.
He didn't have any experience with this, didn't know the protocol. Was he rushing into this? His dad would certainly think so. He'd claim this was Lucas's plan all along. However, Cavan knew just how stubborn and private the ex-soldier was.
Would it be worth asking Sophie? She was older and had definitely had more experience in the boyfriend department than he had. It wasn't even like he'd be moving that far away, not really. Suddenly, he became aware that he hadn't said anything.
Standing abruptly, he babbled, "Sorry, I just need the bathroom!"
Lucas quirked an eyebrow at him but didn't comment. His expression was oddly calm as he watched Cavan's retreating back weave through tables towards the men's' room.
Once safely locked away in a cubicle, Cavan dialled Sophie's number. She answered on the third ring. "Can't you go through one date without ringing me? You're gonna give this guy the wrong impression of me."
"Yeah no time for that. I'm sending you a picture."
There was a sigh and then a pause as Cavan waited for the picture to send.
(21:38) CAVAN SENT A .JPEG.
"Holy shit."
"What do I do?"
"Holy shit!"
"Soph –"
"Cavan holy shit that's a KEY! Did he ask you to move in with him?"
"No shit, why do you think I'm calling?!"
"So, what did you say?"
"That I needed to go to the bathroom."
Silence.
"Cavan you're a fucking moron!"
"I didn't call you to get my arse handed to me," he groused.
"No, but you left that poor man out there staring at your empty seat, wondering if you're sneaking out the bloody window!"
Cavan rolled his eyes. "Lucas knows I'm not like that."
"I'd still be pretty miffed if my date legged it to the bathroom after an IMPORTANT QUESTION!"
"I just … isn't this too fast?"
"Does it feel fast?"
"I … well … a little. Sometimes. It also feels natural. Like delaying good things is pointless if I'm going to still be with him anyway."
"So why did you need to call me?"
Cavan chewed his bottom lip. "I'm worried about what Mama and dad would say."
"Mama will be happy. Anxious but happy. Dad is –it's gonna take some time, Cavan."
Cavan pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew that, it wasn't a surprise. His heart hammered in his chest. If he said 'yes' to what Lucas was asking, it meant he was going to have to uproot his entire life. They'd experience one another on a whole new level. He had never had that level of intimacy before and, judging from what he'd been told, neither had Lucas. Yet, he thought Cavan was worth taking that risk?
He felt a tremor run through him.
Was he ready to have Lucas come home from a bad day at work and throw his things at the table and demand to be left alone? Was he ready to have Lucas witness what an awful specimen of humanity he became when he had a really bad head-cold? Did he want to have to hear Lucas throwing up after a hard night drinking with Fletcher? Was he ready to have every Friday night dedicated to eating Chinese and drinking cheap beer with Lucas's work colleagues? Did he really wanted Ms. Locke to be part of his life beyond University?
Yes, he realised. He wanted all of that.
Drawing in a deep breath he was vaguely aware of the phone growing sweaty against his ear, Sophie calling his name repeatedly to gain his attention.
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