“Of course not,” Lucas sighed. “I just want you to know that I may never change my mind. If you were to decide that you wanted children, I may not be the man by your side when that dream comes true for you.”
“Lucas,” Cavan began, shifting in his seat. He squeezed the strong hands in his own. “It’s barely been a thought in my mind, if at all! All I know is that I love you and want to be with you. Living with you is a dream come true. I … I don’t want to give you or any of this up, for a baby I don’t even think I want.”
Lucas didn’t look convinced. His grey eyes swam with insecurities. “I’d never be able to forgive myself if I let you down like that.”
“You’re being ridiculous!” Cavan protested. “Lucas, you couldn’t possibly let me down, okay? Now can we please just stop talking about this?”
Nodding, the older man dropped his head back on the sofa. “I’m sorry I brought it up. It just came into my mind that it might be something you’d want for yourself. I didn’t want you to miss out.”
“Lucas there’s hundreds of things I would miss out on, if we were to bring a child into our lives.”
“Like what?”
“Exotic holidays. Going to a nude beach. Going to late-night cinema showings. Anywhere up London or big cities in general. Walking around the house naked. Racing on a dirt-track. None of these things can really be done with a baby hanging around. You’d have to constantly be watching out for them, holding onto them and assessing any potential dangers to them.”
“No,” Lucas mused. “I suppose that’s true.”
“Can we stop this nonsense?”
“Sure. Let me just go and get changed.”
“I’ll help you.”
Smoothing his hands over the older man’s pale shoulders, Cavan lowered his head and whispered, “I want to make love to you.”
Lucas felt a shiver run down his spine. They’d made love many a time, in many positions all around the flat. However, they’d never switched positions before. Despite how uncertain he felt about the prospect, he could feel the anxious energy thrumming off his lover. It vibrated through the air and settled deep within his bones.
“Are you sure? I don’t mind going on top,” he purred, letting his fingers skim over Cavan’s body. He’d practically memorised the younger man by this point, but it was still arousing to feel his hot skin underneath his palm.
Pressing a kiss to Lucas’s throat, Cavan shook his head. “No. I want to be inside you. I want to make sure you know just how much I love and need you.”
The words made Lucas’s stomach flip.
His shirt was already on the floor. He unfastened his belt and let his trousers slip down over his hips. Cavan peeled off his own shirt and wasted no time in initiating a kiss, his strong arms pressing Lucas back onto the bed, easing their bodies down so that Cavan was on top of him.
Tangling his fingers in Cavan’s thick hair as he worked hungry kisses over his over’s body, Lucas thrust his hips up in a silent plea. He almost cried out when he felt the slick, wet heat of Cavan’s mouth swallowing him down. Cavan released him a few minutes later with a wet ‘pop’.
His cheeks were flushed, and his hair was a brown mess on his head. His green eyes were hungry as he leered over Lucas. “God, you’re so hot! I want you so badly!”
“Do you want to prep me or should I?”
“I … I want to watch you do it,” Cavan growled huskily.
Lucas’s eyebrows rose in surprise, but he complied nonetheless as he slid his boxers off. Cavan grabbed the lube from the bedside drawer and lowered himself between Lucas’s legs so he could watch the man finger himself. He didn’t know why it was so arousing watching the older man slide a long digit inside himself. The memory of it happening to him probably helped. He remembered how it felt to have Lucas stretching his arsehole, how it felt to be stretched and how hooking the fingers in a certain way would hit a sweet spot.
“Ohhh!”
Cavan’s dick twitched as Lucas moaned, sliding another finger inside himself and picking up the pace. Cavan touched his throbbing dick but had to stop within seconds. This was too sexy to watch, if he wasn’t careful, he’d come all over the duvet. He couldn’t do that. He needed to be inside Lucas.
Lucas half-rolled onto his side, cocking a leg up and continuing to slide in and out. Cavan took the lube and applied some to his dick. Standing over Lucas, he gently took the older man’s wrists and turned him fully onto his back.
“How do you want to do this?”
‘Make it quick!’ went unspoken.
Shifting into a sitting position, Lucas motioned for Cavan to sit down too. Propped up against the headboard, Cavan almost whimpered as a very naked Lucas straddled his hips.
“Are you ready?” the older man grunted, bracing himself against the headboard.
Cavan nodded. He wasn’t prepared for how tight Lucas would be. Letting out a long moan, he tried to control himself as he scrunched his face up as Lucas teased his arse with the tip of Cavan’s dick.
It couldn’t be rushed.
It couldn’t be rushed.
It couldn’t be rushed.
Cavan hated that he couldn’t just do as he pleased. He was teetering on the edge of an orgasm already but –Lucas sank down into his lap, sliding Cavan completely inside him.
Hot … Tight … Wet … Fuck!
“Cavan?” Lucas panted.
“Hmmmgh?”
“Do you want me to move?”
“Mhm!”
Lucas moved his hips, slowly at first but it soon became apparent that neither man could control themselves. As he gyrated against Cavan’s dick, fucking himself shamelessly, Cavan had dug his nails deep into Lucas’s flesh and was thrusting into the older man’s body with reckless abandon.
They were both panting, sweat, trying to hold-out and make it last longer.
“Cavan –fuck yes, right there!” Lucas moaned. “Are you gonna come for me, brat?”
“Y-yes! God, Lucas I wanna come! I wanna come!”
“Do it, Cavan. Come inside me!”
Cavan shocked them both as he used the last of his strength to flip their positions. Pinning Lucas down against the pillows, he hooked the lithe legs over his shoulders and thrust himself deep inside his lover. Lucas moaned and arched his back as Cavan hit his prostate over and over again. Reaching down, he grabbed his dick and started to tug.
He came just as Cavan panted out, “Fuck –Lucas I’m coming!”
Lucas was too aroused in that moment to outwardly care about having Cavan’s cum inside him. He was higher than he’d ever been before. He didn’t care that the sheets were messy or that he’d have to get up and clean himself down. Not in that moment.
All that mattered was that Cavan was pressing sweaty kisses all over his face and neck and it felt wonderful. He barely noticed Cavan slip his softening cock out of his arse. He was pleasantly surprised to feel hot, clammy arms wind around him, holding him close.
“You’re the love of my life, Lucas.”
“Love you too k –Cavan.”
“Do you think Bonnie heard us?”
Lucas rolled his drowsy eyes and hugged Cavan’s arms tighter around him. “Who gives a shit? We’re the only sex-life she has these days.”
Cavan gave a breathy laugh, pressing a kiss into the crook of Lucas’s throat. They stayed that way for a few moments before the younger man squirmed away. Lucas grunted at the sudden coolness of the air and was suddenly aware of how sticky he felt.
“You stay here,” Cavan said. “I’ll get us cleaned up.”
Lucas didn’t have the heart to argue. He was exhausted.
He must have dozed for a little while because the next thing he knew, Cavan was shaking him awake and guided him –awkwardly bundled in his dressing down, barely conscious and clumsy –into the kitchen. It took a few moments for his brain to catch up with everything. When it did, he was sitting at the kitchen table, with a few of the spare tea-lights lit in the middle. A mug
of hot tea in front of him, and Cavan’s lips pressing to his forehead.
“What are you up to?” he asked, genuinely confused.
“To strip the bed. I’ll be two minutes. Then we can order food in the bath, okay?”
Never before had anyone cared enough to know what Lucas would want after sex.
Cavan did.
“You’re too good to me, you know that?” Lucas said.
“Never too good, Lucas. You deserve this.” Cavan stroked his cheek. “Now drink up. I’ll be back in a sec.”
Not waiting for a response, Cavan ducked back out of the kitchen. Lucas watched him go, dumbstruck. He took a sip of the tea; hot, raspberry tea, with no milk or sugar. Cavan knew what he loved to drink before bed. It felt as though he didn’t stand a chance. A smile touched his lips.
“Damned brat,” he murmured as he took another sip. “Seems I had no choice but to fall in love with him.”
Lucas couldn’t help but feel blessed as Cavan wrapped his strong arms around his waist. “Come on, let’s get back into bed and get comfy,” the young man purred, his embrace making Lucas feel overwhelmed.
Standing up, he carried his mug down the hall as he trailed after Cavan into the bedroom. The sheets had been stripped and bundled into the wash-basket, the comforting, clean scent making Lucas relax as he slip -naked -into bed. Cavan followed suit, tossing his own boxers to one side. As the night wore on, Cavan inevitably fallen asleep within the hour, Lucas turned off his light, finished off his drink and turned to spoon his lover. He managed to fall asleep before 2 o’clock in the morning -another one of Cavan’s miracles.
He’d never felt more content than he did in that moment.
~0~
Eating Chinese food whilst stretched out over the sofa in their pyjamas was a level of domesticity Lucas didn’t think he’d ever enjoy with another human being. However, as they watched Cavan’s latest obsession –‘A Series of Unfortunate Events’ –on Netflix, he couldn’t help but feel completely at peace with himself. True, it still jarred him at early hours of the morning when he saw Cavan’s bathrobe and towels neatly folded beside his own, but it often left him with a faint smile on his lips as he went about his morning routine.
He had to get used to the patterned mugs in his cupboards and the way Cavan liked to collect odd memorabilia and store it on any available surface.
He had his own quirks, he knew that. He also knew that Cavan had been more than accommodating for his strange antics. Still, seeing that sexy young man stretched out on the sofa and nibbling on his not-so-secret stash of biscuits really was the perfect sight to come home to every night after a long day at work.
By 11pm they were both ready to call it a night.
Lucas winced a little as he shifted on the bed, watching as Cavan readied himself for bed before slipping under the cool sheets. He sidled up beside Lucas and wriggled down so that he could rest his head in the older man’s lap. It was almost automatic; the way Lucas propped his glasses on his nose and threaded his fingers through Cavan’s hair.
“I don’t think I could ever get tired of this,” the young man hummed.
“What’s that?” Lucas murmured; his mind preoccupied.
“This. It all feels so natural with you. I feel like I’ve been missing out on this feeling my whole life.”
“What feeling’s that?”
“Being needed.”
Lucas scoffed, “It’s not a question about needing you, brat. I want you. There’s a difference.”
“No,” Cavan shook his head against Lucas’s thigh. “I know you want me here, same as most other people. They want me for something. You, however, need me.”
“Is that so?”
“Mhmm. Who else would make you tea and make sure you relax after a long day?”
“Well I guess that’s true.”
“Who would get you to smile when you’re in a shitty mood all day?”
“I laugh at you. That’s a crappy deal for you.”
“Who else would take of you when you’re ill?” Lucas huffed. “Me, of course!”
Chuckling, Lucas glanced down at Cavan and stroked his thumb down his lover’s cheek. “You’re right, kid. I do need you.”
“See. You need me.”
“Yes, I need to you to shut up so I can get to the end of this page.”
“Mean!” Cavan jostled the book out of Lucas’s grip and rolled away from the older man, the book clasped to his chest. “Good luck getting this back, you sod!”
Lucas fought back a laugh as he watched Cavan burrow down under the blankets. Taking his glasses off, he slid over the mattress and poked Cavan’s butt. “Cavan, can I have my book back?”
“No!”
“Cavan please can I have my book back?”
“No!”
Lucas scowled at the lump under his duvet. “Okay, you asked for it.”
“Lucas no!”
Cavan squealed and bucked uselessly as Lucas pinned him down under the blankets and started to tickle him. It was almost too funny, as Cavan squirmed and whined through the thick covers. He tried to buck Lucas off, but the older man was far stronger than him.
Eventually, Lucas relented and tore the duvet off of Cavan’s face. He was red and panting heavily, staring up at the ceiling. From his limp hand Lucas snatched his book back.
“Thank you!” he smirked, settling back down on his pillows and picked up from where he left off.
Still panting on the other side of the bed, Cavan murmured a breathless, “sod.”
Lucas could only smirk in response as he resumed his reading.
Chapter 35
Monday AM
(8:15) Wake up beautiful. I left you some breakfast on the counter.
(8:36) Lucas! It’s still night time! Whyyyyy
(8:41) Because I love you, tumbleweed.
(8:46) Eurgh we need to work on your pet-names
(8:51) Get up brat and eat the breakfast I so LOVINGLY made for you.
(8:54) Oh yes. I’m feeling that love. Almost like you’re hammering through my skull with it.
(8:56) And all this time you were worried I was the murderous maniac? Tch.
(9:01) It’s ok. I know you’d only do it out of love … or fear.
(9:04) Why on earth would I fear you?
(9:07) I don’t know … I’m taller than you?
(9:10) EVERYONE is taller than me, kid. I’m sure even Bonnie’s baby will be taller than me once it’s born.
(9:12) Can’t wait to see THAT day.
(9:15) So is your Mum still coming down on Friday night?
(9:18) Yup. She’s driving up with Sophie.
(9:22) Good. I’ll give the place a clean on Thursday.
(9:23) No. Enough with the cleaning! Seriously, I’m starting to just smell bleach wherever I go!
(9:25) Stop exaggerating, brat.
(9:27) See, the fact that I’m NOT exaggerating, it the scary part.
(9:29) Lucas, they’ve seen dirt before. They’ve even lived with me for the better part of their lives.
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