Elaine reached across the table and covered KJ’s hand with hers. “Don’t we all. That is what makes us who we are. The one thing about love is that it accepts our baggage as part of us. And even though you can’t change the past, given the chance, you will see the bags feel so much lighter when you’re not carrying them alone. I’m speaking from personal experience. Where I was in my life ten months ago seems like a lifetime away. I was only able to find my way, and true happiness, once I submitted to the love.”
Damn, she is wise. Is it love I am feeling? It’s all so new to me. How can I be sure? KJ was the main obstacle between her and her dreams. How was it she hadn’t seen it before? Or maybe she did and that was why she purposely distanced herself from everyone. From relationships. Friendships. Afraid they would see what she didn’t want them to. What was so refreshing was she knew she’d now have their support even though they didn’t know what the issues were. No judging, only unconditional acceptance. True friends. Opening herself up to such close friends was a big step for her. Not as big as it was going to be when she told Drew how she felt about him. She wasn’t sure what his response would be, but she wasn’t able to move forward if she wasn’t willing to take the first step.
KJ gave Elaine’s hand a squeeze, acknowledging she got the message. “Would you consider it rude if I cut out a bit early? There is something I need to take care of.”
The three women smiled warmly as they hugged her goodbye. Jill whispered, “Go get him,” in her ear before she let her go. Should I? Am I really that brave?
While traveling back to the penthouse, amidst the honking horns and city street noises, KJ planned everything she would say and do when she got back. The scene played out like one of the sweet love stories she’d watched on the Hallmark Channel. Can it really be that simple? I tell him how I feel, and he takes me in his arms, declaring his undying love? Once inside the glass elevator, she pressed the 60th floor, and entered the code he’d given her. Her heart raced as she focused solely on the door, still not comfortable enough to watch the view as it rose. KJ’s hands trembled, and she told herself it was just the elevator. That was the last thing on her mind right now. What if he doesn’t feel the same way about me? It was possible she’d misread him and he truly only wanted her for one thing: sex? Great sex. Can’t be, can it? No, there has to be more to it. His actions were those of someone who cared. Is the sex so fantastic because of how I feel about him? She had never felt like this for a man before. It was uncharted territory. Once she said the words to him, there would be no turning back at that point. Was it worth the risk? Can I survive if he rejects my love? A month ago she would have said no. Now, she knew it would scar her for life, but she would always be grateful for him bringing her back to a place where she felt alive again.
Her stomach turned and her nerves tingled as the ding announced her floor. All or nothing! The doors opened, she took a deep breath summoning all her courage, and exited. Guess I’ll know soon enough.
Chapter Fourteen
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Drew was lying on the couch watching a football game when she entered the living room. The television was so loud he hadn’t heard the elevator open. Blossom was still on her mat out on the balcony. Back so early. There could be two reasons for that. Either she couldn’t wait to be back in his arms, or she didn’t enjoy her time out with the other women. Unfortunately, the expression on her face wasn’t one of want and desire. It was more serious, like she had a lot on her mind. Damn. I thought they would have hit it off. Looks like another bet I would have lost. It would seem he was on a losing streak lately. What’s with that? I always win. Everything. It was the competitive edge he had. Without that, what was he left with? Nothing.
Grabbing the remote from the coffee table, he turned off the TV and reached out a hand, inviting her to come and sit on his lap. No matter how bad her night had been, he would make her forget about it.
Katherine came over, but instead of sitting on or beside him, she sat on the coffee table opposite. Oh, this is bad. The words no man wants to say came out of his mouth before he could stop it.
“What’s wrong? Do you want to talk about it?” NO! He screamed internally. What am I doing? I’m going to regret this. Why was it when he was with her, he had no control over what came out of his mouth? He had never asked or cared before. Maybe that was the problem. He cared. Damn, how did that happen? Drew never should’ve invited her to stay with him. This closeness confused things. Made him feel things he had never felt before and act like a teenager with his first girlfriend. This was not what I had planned. His plan was bring her here, get whatever there was between them out of his system, and move on. Simple. So what went wrong? It’s not her, it’s me. I changed the game. Nothing had gone as planned and by the expression on her face it was about to get worse. God, don’t let her say she wants to go home. He wasn’t ready to let her go, not today, not tomorrow.
That realization felt like a punch to the gut. It wasn’t what she was about to say that concerned him. It was his reaction to it. He knew exactly what advice he would’ve given his friends at a time like this. Take a risk, open up, tell her how you feel, or you will lose her. That was what he would say was best for them. But he knew what the outcome was going to be—those women loved them, it really wasn’t a risk at all for them. He and Katherine were a different story. Although he didn’t come from a broken home, he knew firsthand what an unhappy home did to a family. He didn’t really have anything to offer her. Nothing of true value. What was he really? Just a gambling man who played the stock market. Drew was an endless risk-taker and there wasn’t anything he was afraid of until now. Breaking her heart. It was inevitable. If it wasn’t now, it would be later when she realized how shallow he was. When she realized the path he traveled was all about him. Katherine was so different from that. Her entire life was about helping others. His entire life was about helping himself. He had no right to keep her. None whatsoever.
He prepared himself for her words. “I’m leaving.” But they didn’t come. She only sat quietly watching him. Was the turmoil he was going through so obvious? Where’s my poker face when I need it?
Her voice barely whispered, “Drew, I need to talk to you.”
That I know. She looked tortured, struggling for the words. He couldn’t watch her go through this any longer. He promised to take care of her. Suck it up and just say it for her.
“I know what’s troubling you. I agree. This has been nice, really nice, but it’s not like being home. I can have the jet ready to take you back as soon as you’re ready to leave.”
He couldn’t look at her. Getting up, he walked to the rooftop. When he opened the door, Blossom was there. Normally she wanted to stay outside, but tonight she brushed past him quickly and slid inside the house before he could shut the door again. Yeah I get it, girl. You’re leaving too. Drew pulled his phone from his pocket and informed the pilot to ready the plane to leave first thing in the morning. She would need to do this trip alone. It wasn’t the gentlemanly thing to do, but being alone with her on the plane and not touching her was going to be more than he could bear. At that moment, he felt tense, filled with anger. Not at her, but at himself for getting into this situation. Her leaving now was a good thing. The longer she stayed the more awkward it was going to be for both of them.
Settling himself on the lounge, he decided this was probably the best place to sleep tonight, not trusting himself to enter the house and claim her, as if she was his. Make a clean break. There was no claiming to be had.
His phone vibrated. Whatever problem there was, he wasn’t in the mood for hearing it. Before hitting ignore he checked the caller ID. Trent? Maybe Elaine had told him what Katherine was about to do and he was calling to rub it in. That was the last thing he needed right now. It went off again. What the fuck? I’m not in a good mood so this had better be damn important.
“What’s up?” he said, his tone harsh.
“Is KJ with you?” Trent asked.
Great. And it starts. “She’s still here.” Drew didn’t bother to cover the anger in his voice. He would hide it from her, but his friends weren’t going to be so lucky.
“Great. Elaine needs to see her. Can you guys come over?”
“Now?”
“Yes, damn it. Now!” That was when Drew heard what sounded like panic in his friend’s voice.
“Is everything okay, Trent?” he asked sincerely.
“She said she feels funny. It started earlier at dinner. I wanted her to go to the hospital but she refused. This woman is more stubborn than I am. Get KJ over here to talk some sense in her.”
“We’re on our way.” Dashing back into the penthouse, he found her in the bedroom. She was folding more items and putting them into her half-packed suitcase. Blossom sat calmly by her feet but rose to attention when he entered. She knew something was wrong.
“Leave it for now,” he said firmly.
She turned in surprise, cheeks wet with tears. What was she crying about? This is what she wanted. She should be happy he took the bullet for her, and she didn’t have to go through a list of excuses. If it wasn’t for Elaine being in some type of distress right now he might even have told her so.
“We’ve got to go to Trent’s house right away. Elaine’s not feeling well.”
The look on her faced changed from utter sadness to overwhelming concern. Grabbing her purse she asked, “Is it the baby?”
“You know as much as I do right now,” he said as they entered the elevator.
The drive to Trent and Elaine’s was filled with an uncomfortable silence. Their issue needed to be put on hold. Once everything was okay with Elaine, maybe they could try talking again. If there was time before she left.
“I’m glad you’re here. She’s lying down in the bedroom,” Trent said when he opened the door.
She followed him, not wanting to ask too many questions as his anxiety level seemed through the roof. Once she examined the patient she’d hopefully ease his mind.
Elaine was rubbing her belly again and moaning. Oh boy. Going directly to her side, she said, “Breathe. Like this.” She took two short breaths, followed by one long one. Elaine took hold of her hand and did as instructed.
“What’s the matter with her?” Trent’s deep voice demanded from behind.
KJ ignored him, focusing solely on Elaine. When the pain passed, and Elaine relaxed, she did a basic exam, running her hands over Elaine’s stomach. Her guess was right. The baby had dropped. Taking her pulse again, she didn’t find any abnormal distress. That’s a good thing. What she didn’t like was only a few minutes later it started all over again.
“Okay Elaine, squeeze my hand and think of someplace wonderful, beautiful. And breathe like I showed you.” The fear in Elaine’s eyes subsided as KJ coached her through the contraction. “That’s right. You’ve got it.”
The contractions were strong and frequent. Looking at the bed, she noticed the sheets were wet. This was not good.
Leaving her for only a moment, KJ went to Trent and softly said, “Call an ambulance. She’s in labor. I need you to tell them her water broke and contractions are two minutes apart.”
Then turning to Drew she said, “I need you to get me some rubbing alcohol and clean towels.”
“Trent, I need to check to see how far along she is, so can you give us some privacy for a few minutes?” This I know. Relationships not so much, but trauma nursing, I know. She was in charge at the moment, and by the tone of her voice, both Trent and Drew realized that too.
Trent went and kissed Elaine on the forehead and said, “I’ll be right outside.”
With a weak smile she waved him away and turned to KJ. “I’m glad you’re here.”
And I wish you were in a hospital. “Me too. Okay, roll over onto your back so I can check and see how many centimeters you are dilated.” Before she could, another contraction hit, causing her to cry out. The bedroom door flew open, and Trent was by Elaine’s side holding her hand, coaching her as she had done earlier.
While Trent took care of Elaine, KJ examined her. Oh shit! It’s time. Drew, where the hell are those towels? The baby’s head was about to crown. “Drew,” she called out. He came immediately and stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Elaine on her back and KJ kneeling at the foot of the bed. “Did you find it?”
“Right here.” He came over and gave her the bottle. She opened it, pouring liquid on both hands, and spilling it everywhere. “What else can I do?”
“Go find some scissors and do the same.”
As an overseas trauma nurse she always had to think fast on her feet, so this was nothing new, however, most of her patients had been soldiers. Thankfully she’d delivered a few babies in some rural areas that didn’t have a hospital nearby. That didn’t mean each time didn’t come with a risk and its share of tragedy. When things went bad, they quickly went really bad. Not today. She closed her eyes for a moment, focusing only on Elaine and the baby. Please not today. If anything went wrong, both mother and child would be in jeopardy, or worse.
Drew had arrived with everything she’d requested. As though he sensed her thoughts, he touched her shoulder and said, “I’m right here. I’m not leaving you.” He pulled up a chair and sat across the room, close enough to be there for KJ, yet far enough to give Elaine her privacy. He was a good man. She was overwhelmed with emotions but there was no time to express anything to him. There was a baby coming, and this delivery was all on her.
The next ten minutes were filled with coaching and providing directions on when to push. The final push delivered what everyone was waiting for—a beautiful baby boy with a mass of dark hair, just like his mother’s. KJ clamped and cut the cord, wrapped the baby in a towel after cleaning him off slightly, and checked his breathing and heart rate. It wasn’t time to relax just yet. Come on, baby. With the baby on his stomach, she rubbed his back, and before long the room was filled with the high-pitched wail of a healthy set of lungs. KJ hadn’t realized she had been holding her breath until her long exhale. Thank God. Grabbing another clean towel, she bundled him up and placed him in Trent’s waiting hands.
Just then, the EMTs walked into the room. KJ stepped out of the way, letting them take over. Now standing by Drew, all she could think was how amazing it was, looking at the new family. Trent, whose look could intimidate anyone, was now gazing at his son with the most loving, tender eyes. Elaine’s eyes filled with joyful tears. It might not have been an ideal way to come into this world, but the little bundle of joy was the center of a room filled with love. Beautiful. She was happy to have been here to help bring it together. I do have a purpose. I love nursing, not only in the Marines; that can be my focus, my drive.
Leaving the room, she went to find the closest washroom. The floodgates of emotions opened as soon as she closed the door. Everything from the moment Drew told her to leave, to bringing a new life into this world. Her heart felt like it was going to rip into pieces. If there was a hole she could crawl into and hide, maybe it would be easier, but she knew she would eventually need to leave this room and face Drew. Why do I have to care so much? Why must I endure more pain?
There was a knock on the door. Wiping the tears away she opened it slowly. Drew stood there. “Trent, Elaine, and the baby are on the way to the hospital.”
Sniffling, she said, “Thanks.”
His arms came around her so quickly she didn’t have any time to protest. “You never cease to amaze me. I don’t know what we would’ve done without you.”
Trying not to take his actions as anything more than gratefulness, she answered dryly, “I’m sure it would’ve worked out.” Thankfully we don’t have to worry about it. “If you take me back to your place, I can finish packing.”
She felt his muscles tense. Then, as quickly as he’d embraced her, he let her go. “Your work here is done. I guess you’re right, it’s time to go.” His voice was flat.
How could he turn his warmth on and off so easily? At his place, he’d told
her to pack up and get out, then not two hours later, stood by her side while she delivered the baby, saying he wouldn’t leave her. Do you even know what you want, Drew? Because I can’t seem to figure it out.
Instead of a quiet ride back to the penthouse Drew was on the phone with Ross and Jon, giving updates on the baby’s birth. KJ didn’t want to eavesdrop, but the conversation was loud enough for her to hear, even though he had the phone on his opposite ear. She watched Drew’s lips press firmly together as his friends commented about her. Ross said, “She’s a keeper, don’t blow it, buddy.” Then Jon added, “Only a fool would let someone like her go.” Only a fool? Drew wasn’t a fool, he just didn’t want me.
When he disconnected the call, his foul mood became worse. So much for taking your friends’ advice. She wanted to be angry with him but couldn’t. You couldn’t make someone feel something they didn’t. It wasn’t his fault she’d fallen in love with him no more than it was hers. It was what it was. Crying about it wouldn’t change anything.
Funny, seven years ago there had been a guy who’d seemed to care more for her than she had for him. Although they’d been great friends, and she’d loved him, they were never meant to be lovers. Where did the time go? It was a good lesson then not to settle for anything less than true love. She didn’t regret the choice she’d made to stay in the Marine Corp; she could only hope she wouldn’t regret her decision now not to force the issue with Drew. It was what he wanted. What’s that saying? If you love something set it free? Looking out the window but not able to focus on anything, she had only one thought. Stupid saying if you ask me. Maybe I should grab the bull by the horns and see how this rides out.
Chapter Fifteen
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He stood in the living room while she finished packing. His friends’ words echoed in his head. They were right; he would never find another person like Katherine. But you can’t make someone feel something they don’t. He’d seen her fragility in Napa. He could force the situation, trick her into staying the full two weeks, but what would that really do for either of them? Great mind-blowing sex. But the same end result. She’d want to leave me. I don’t want her to feel trapped like my dad had. That didn’t make a happy home for anyone.
The Billionaire's Jackpot: Betting on You Series: Book Four Page 10