by Miranda Lee
At art school, Megan had actually made a couple of male friends. But they’d both been gay. Prince Charming was nowhere in sight and, once again, her fellow female students hadn’t seemed to want to know her.
By the time she’d met and married James, Megan had become used to being a loner. Suddenly being thrust into the social spotlight as James’s wife had been a daunting experience to begin with. She hadn’t been used to going out into the public arena. She certainly hadn’t been used to hosting dinner parties, or doing the kind of thing James had probably assumed she could do. Her mother was, after all, an accomplished society matron who’d organised her daughter’s wedding in six short weeks without a hitch.
Megan had coped surprisingly well, thanks to Nicole, who soon became more than just the wife of one of James’s closest friends, but a personal friend as well. Megan liked her enormously. She was a terrific girl, not vain despite her incredible blonde beauty. And in no way superficial or selfish, as some rich men’s wives could be.
With Nicole at her side most of the time, Megan had overcome her introverted nature to become not a social animal like James, but at least not a nervous wreck when faced with the company of the rich and famous.
After her miscarriage, however, a devastated and depressed Megan had refused to socialise at all. She’d even shunned Nicole, not able to get over the feeling that Russell must have confided the humiliating truth to his wife. She’d imagined Nicole not laughing at her, but pitying her.
Facing Nicole at Hugh’s wedding had been awkward, with Megan feeling guilty over her treatment of the girl. She’d been half expecting Nicole to snub her. But Nicole had been her usual nice self, saying she was so glad to see Megan was feeling—and looking—so much better, and that they should get together some time for lunch.
Which was probably the reason for this call.
‘Sorry I snapped at you,’ Megan said. ‘I thought you were my mother.’
Nicole laughed. ‘You don’t have to apologise. I have one of those, too.’
Megan had to smile. ‘You do, don’t you?’
‘Oh, yes. She still rings me constantly and still tries to interfere, the way mothers do.’
‘But you don’t let her,’ Megan said, recalling how Nicole had stood up to her mother at her wedding and told her to get lost.
Megan sometimes wished she could say the same to her own mother, who was not only critical but also controlling. She made Megan’s father’s life a misery. It was because of her mother, Megan believed, that she’d grown up lacking in confidence. Nothing was ever good enough for her mother. Perhaps if she’d had older brothers and sisters Megan would have been allowed to blossom as an individual, without being constantly pressured by her mother into becoming a ‘success’.
Only one thing Megan had ever done had satisfied her mother and that was marrying James Logan. She’d actually been praised for falling pregnant so quickly; told with great pride that she was a clever, clever girl.
Janet Donnelly hadn’t been shattered by her daughter’s miscarriage, saying blithely that she shouldn’t worry; she was already Mrs James Logan and there would be another baby in time.
Megan grimaced when she thought of her mother’s reaction if she ever found the courage to leave James.
‘Mum’s actually not too bad these days,’ Nicole said. ‘Of course, it does help that she’s on the other side of the world. And that I’m married to a super-rich man.’
‘Mothers do seem to like that, don’t they?’ Megan said ruefully.
‘I wouldn’t worry too much about what your mother likes and doesn’t like, Megan. My mum thinks I’m crazy to be working, especially when I give all my salary to charity. But what the heck? It makes me feel good. There comes a time when you have to do whatever is right for you, whatever makes you happy.’
Happy!
Megan knew that nothing she did was going to make her genuinely happy. She had to admit, however, that she was looking forward to next Saturday. Perverse it might be to feel hopelessly excited over going on a second honeymoon with a man who didn’t love you, and who was probably only taking you away to get you pregnant. But life was perverse, she’d discovered, and so was sexual attraction. She’d tried to fight wanting James and had lost the battle.
‘James is going to take me on a second honeymoon,’ Megan said. There didn’t seem any point in keeping it a secret, since she was determined to go.
‘That’s wonderful news! I’m so glad for you. When are you going?’
‘Next Saturday.’ She didn’t add if James could get a booking, because she knew he would.
‘That’s great, Megan. Truly great.’
‘James wants to try for another baby.’
‘Yes, I imagine that he would. I mean…he’s not getting any younger, Megan. And Russell said he’s dead set on having children.’
‘Yes, I know.’ So dead set that he was prepared to get any old girl pregnant and marry her.
No, not any old girl. A silly, young, naïve girl who wouldn’t think to question his motives; who’d be so bowled over at such a brilliant man pursuing her that she could hardly think at all.
This time, the hornets’ nest of anger was all for James.
‘Look, why don’t we get together for lunch one day this week?’ Nicole suggested. ‘We can go clothes shopping as well. You might like to buy some new things to take on your holiday.’
‘Aah,’ Megan said, wincing with embarrassment. ‘I suppose you noticed I was wearing my going-away outfit yesterday. The thing is, Nicole, I haven’t been clothes shopping for quite a while. I just haven’t been interested.’
‘That’s understandable. You’ve been through a rough time, Megan. But so has James. Look, I’m sure his suggesting a second honeymoon is not just to try for another baby. He probably wants to get you away so that you can be together. He loves you a great deal, you know.’
‘Actually no, I don’t know that,’ Megan muttered before she could think better of it.
‘What? You think James doesn’t love you? Why, that’s ridiculous, Megan! He adores you.’
Megan wished she hadn’t said anything now. It had been very silly of her. Still, it was good to find out that Nicole didn’t seem to know the truth about her marriage. She could go to lunch with her now and not feel uncomfortable.
‘Yes, I’m sure you’re right,’ she said hurriedly. ‘I’ve been having this crisis of confidence since the miscarriage. Depression can do terrible things to you, Nicole. You begin to imagine all sorts of things.’
‘Well, don’t go imagining that James doesn’t love you, my girl. Why, I remember talking to Kara one night not long after your wedding. You remember Kara, don’t you? She was my best friend at school. Anyway, we both said how romantic it was that James chose to marry you. After all, rich men don’t have to marry their girlfriends just because they’re pregnant. He could have bullied you into a termination, or just paid you off. Or set you up as his mistress with a child in tow. Instead, he whisked you to the altar. That’s true love, if ever I saw it.’
‘I’m sure you’re right, Megan said.
‘I know I’m right. But I can see what you mean about you having a crisis of self-confidence. This will never do, Megan. Look, as much as James was no doubt initially attracted to your sweet self, it doesn’t do to be too meek and mild. A man like James will just walk all over you in the end. There comes a time when a girl has to make her man stand up and take notice. Going on a second honeymoon is just the right time for you to sport a new image.’
Megan rather liked the sound of that. ‘What kind of new image?’
‘The kind James usually gives to his clients. Sexier. Bolder.’
‘That sounds wonderful, Nicole. But I’ve never been bold, or sexy.’
‘Which is why it’s called a new image. Now, I don’t want to hear any more objections. It’s clear you need a push in the right direction and I’m just the girl to give you that. When did you say you were going on this honeymoon?’
‘Saturday,’ Megan said, feeling slightly bulldozed. But not unhappy.
‘Saturday. Right. In that case I’ll also make an appointment for you at this fabulous beauty salon I know. Kara took me there on my wedding day. They do the works, not just hair. It costs a bomb but what the heck? James can afford it.’
‘I don’t care what it costs,’ Megan was astonished to hear herself saying with an upsurge of adrenaline, ‘if I end up looking anything like you do.’ And if she could have James look at her with genuine hunger, the kind which couldn’t possibly be pretend.
By the time she hung up the phone, Nicole felt quite excited about her plans for the week. She would take Megan out to lunch tomorrow. Then clothes shopping on Wednesday and Thursday. She suspected she would need more than one day to talk Megan into the kind of wardrobe she had in mind. It would be off to the spa to spend the day on Friday. It would mean taking the week off work but that was fine. She was married to the boss.
‘Russell?’ she called out as she raced downstairs. ‘Russell, where are you?’
No reply. He wasn’t in any of the living rooms, or the kitchen. ‘Russell?’ she called out again, louder this time.
‘I’m out here,’ he replied, his voice coming from the direction of the back garden.
Nicole sometimes wished they were still living in Russell’s unit at McMahon’s Point. It had been a cosy little place where you always knew where the other was. But of course they needed a bigger place now.
She burst out onto the back verandah and finally found Russell, standing in the middle of the large back garden, his hands on his hips. ‘What say we put a sandpit over there,’ he suggested, pointing at one corner, ‘and a Wendy house over there?’
‘There’s no hurry,’ she said, but with a smile in her voice. ‘The baby’s not due for another six months.’
‘Aah, but I only have one full day off a week, you know.’
Which was today. Monday.
Nicole pursed her lips. ‘I should have known you’d revert to your workaholic ways, once I married you.’
‘That’s the pot calling the kettle black, madam.’
‘True,’ Nicole agreed. She’d really found her forte, working with Russell in his real-estate business. It gave her a buzz, finding the right house for people. She also got a buzz from being able to send her own money over to Julie, who was in the process of opening a second orphanage in Bangkok.
‘So how did the call to Megan go?’ Russell asked. ‘I’ll bet you still didn’t talk her into going to lunch with you.’
‘Then you’d be wrong,’ she told him smugly. ‘We’re going tomorrow. Then I’m taking her clothes shopping on Wednesday and Thursday. And then we’re off to Stephano’s Beauty Spa all of Friday. Can you guess why?’
Russell spun round to stare at his wife. ‘Don’t tell me. She’s agreed to go on a second honeymoon with James.’
‘Right in one. To Dream Island, no less.’
‘Fan-bloody-tastic! I’ve been really worried about that pair since they lost the baby.’
‘I’ve been more worried about Megan,’ Nicole said. ‘She’s a vulnerable sort of girl, isn’t she? Did you know she’s been entertaining this crazy idea that James might not love her?’
‘What?’
‘Yes, I was just as shocked as you. I mean, we both know he does. Now, why are you giving me that funny look? What is it that you know that I don’t know?’ Nicole was crossing her arms in exasperation when the penny dropped. ‘Oh, no!’ she exclaimed, her arms dropping to her sides in shock. ‘He doesn’t love her, does he? He just married her for the child. That’s why he was so devastated when she miscarried.’
‘Afraid so,’ Russell admitted with a sigh.
‘The creep!’
‘Don’t be too hard on him, Nicole. He wants a family, and Jackie refused to give him one. What was he supposed to do? Ride off alone into the sunset? That’s not James’s way. He’s a survivor and a doer.’
Nicole’s eyes narrowed. ‘Did he get Megan pregnant on purpose before he married her?’
‘I think so. Not that he told me so directly. James doesn’t talk about his personal life much. I do know, however, that he’s still hung up on Jackie.’
‘That self-centred cow? Megan makes ten of her!’
‘We both know that.’
‘Poor Megan…No wonder she’s lost confidence in herself. She probably feels the fact that he’s not in love with her. Thank goodness I managed to convince her that she was just imagining things.’
‘That’s good. Very good. Look, who knows? He might fall in love with her in time.’
‘Hmm. That’s unlikely to happen unless she changes,’ Nicole said thoughtfully. ‘She’s got to stop being Megan the mouse. My makeover this week will be none too soon.’
‘Don’t do anything too dramatic, Nicole. James likes Megan the way she is.’
‘Yes, but he’s not in love with Megan the way she is. She has to come out of her shell a bit. Shake him up. Be bolder, and sexier.’
‘That’s mission impossible, Nicole.’
‘Don’t be silly. It’s just a matter of window dressing. Men are visual creatures. If she looks sexier, he’ll see her as sexier and treat her differently. Then she’ll feel sexier and act sexier, and things will snowball from there.’
‘If you say so.’
‘I do say so.’
Russell shrugged. ‘I presume you didn’t tell her about our baby.’
‘Lord, no. That would only have made her miserable. You haven’t told James yet, have you?’
‘No.’
‘Then don’t. At least not till they get back from this holiday, which hopefully will be a success.’
‘If I know James it will be.’
‘He’s not God, you know,’ Nicole said somewhat irritably. James had never been her favourite amongst Russell’s male friends. Even less so now!
‘Don’t tell James that. Or his clients.’
‘The trouble with James Logan,’ Nicole went on waspishly, ‘is that he’s way too intelligent and way too good-looking for his own good.’
‘He does have a big ego,’ Russell conceded.
‘And a big something else, I’ll bet.’
‘Nicole McClain!’ her husband exclaimed with mock-outrage.
‘Oh, don’t give me any of that! You and I both know your friend’s reputation with women. Before he married Jackie Foster he had a string of playthings a mile long.’
‘That was years ago. He’s changed.’
‘Oh, phooey. He hasn’t changed. Not deep down. He’s a bad boy in the bedroom and don’t you dare try to tell me differently.’
‘I seem to recall you were partial to my being a bad boy in the bedroom when we first met,’ Russell said.
‘That was different,’ Nicole said with a hoity toss of her long blonde hair.
‘How was it different?’
‘We were in love.’
‘Megan’s in love with James.’
‘Yes, but James is not in love with her!’
‘What she doesn’t know doesn’t hurt her.’
‘That’s so typical of a man!’ Nicole exclaimed, stamping her foot at the same time. ‘They can never see beyond the moment.’
‘That’s not true,’ Russell defended. ‘I’m sure James would rather things be different. But they’re not. Like I said earlier, we can’t always choose who we fall in love with. You should know that better than anyone, Nicole. Have some empathy for James, for pity’s sake. You have plenty of empathy for other people.’
Nicole was taken aback by Russell’s stance. It was rare for him to criticise her. But once she thought about his very wise words, she saw that she had been judgemental of James. The trouble was she couldn’t always look at a rich man with unbiased eyes.
‘You’re right,’ she said. ‘I haven’t been fair to James. I just wish he hadn’t married a girl like Megan. She’s just so…fragile.’
‘With a mother like th
at? I suspect that underneath Megan’s fragile exterior lurks a spine of steel.’
‘Maybe…’
‘Definitely! Now, no more talk about James and Megan. And no more worrying about them. They’re adults. They’ll work it out.’
CHAPTER SIX
SATURDAY morning found Megan with another crisis of confidence, this time of her own making. Whatever had possessed her to listen to Nicole’s advice? It wasn’t the new clothes which bothered her so much—though they were somewhat in-your-face—but what she’d been talked into doing at the beauty salon yesterday.
She must have been mad!
The phone ringing brought a groan. It would be James, wanting to know if she was ready. He’d phoned late last night, saying that he would pick her up at eight on the dot this morning, which was less than five minutes away.
Megan had been up since her alarm clock had gone off shortly after six, getting herself ready. She’d declined Roberta’s offer of a breakfast tray, saying she’d get something to eat at the airport. She’d known her stomach would be churning with nervous tension and unable to digest any food.
And now the moment was here, the moment she’d been dreaming about all week and which she was suddenly dreading.
‘Yes, James,’ she said on picking up the phone. ‘I’m ready.’ As ready as she would ever be!
‘I’ll be down shortly.’
Megan hung up then hurried over to inspect herself in the long wall mirror for the umpteenth time that morning, turning this way and that so that she could see herself from all angles.
It was just as well that the white hipster trousers were made of stretch material, she decided, because they were extremely tight, hugging her derrière and thighs like a second skin. When combined with the rather glitzy silver high-heeled sandals she was wearing, they made her legs look very long. And sexy.
The whole outfit was sexy, especially the black and white top, which had an extremely low-cut neckline. Perhaps if she’d gone braless it might have looked less provocative. But the lacy black push-up bra Nicole had chosen to go with it created an eye-popping cleavage. It seemed her recent weight loss hadn’t produced much loss there.