by Miranda Lee
James might have, too, if he’d ever seen them. Not that he’d ever been seriously interested in her art. He’d pretended to be for a while but that was when he’d been seducing her.
For a split second Megan felt a spurt of bitterness. But she quickly let it go. Bitterness was a self-destructive emotion. She would not entertain it. James had valid excuses for doing what he did. She could see that now. He was a damaged soul, incapable of true love. Incapable of understanding other people’s feelings.
Empathy was not his strong point.
Which was really sad. Couldn’t he see that his behaviour was just as cruel and insensitive as his own father’s? He had a lot to learn, if he thought he’d make a good father. One hell of a lot.
Megan’s heart suddenly raced as she thought of the morning-after pill which the doctor had given her before she left Dream Island and which she hadn’t yet been able to bring herself to take.
Not because she wanted to have a baby at this stage. She didn’t. But if by some incredibly bad stroke of luck she had conceived, did she have the right to stop that child from being born? On the other side of the coin, hadn’t she just concluded James was not the wonderful father material she’d once thought he would be?
It was becoming clear to her that he had all the wrong motives in wanting a child so desperately. Megan believed now it was a male-ego thing, a desire to prove to his own rotten father that he could do a lot better at parenting than he did.
But how could James be a good father to their child, when he didn’t love his child’s mother? What example was that?
Love was what made a good parent. And a good family.
Think, Megan, a voice piped up in her head. You’re not going back to James. If you have his child, he’ll fight you for it. You know he will. Don’t take the risk. Do something now whilst you’ve got the chance.
Megan rose and walked over to where she’d left her handbag on the desk. Opening it, she retrieved the tablet and carried it with her out of her bedroom to the bathroom next door. There, she looked for a glass to fill with water.
There wasn’t one.
She popped the tablet in her mouth, turned on the tap and cupped her hands under the stream of water.
Such a simple thing to swallow a tablet. But she just couldn’t do it. In the end, she spat the tablet down the toilet and flushed it away.
She would let fate decide. Or was it God? Whatever, she would live with the consequences of her actions. And if there was a baby, she would not let James take it away from her. She would fight for her child. And love it, no matter what.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
AT THE precise moment Megan flushed the morning-after pill down the toilet, James woke from the drugged sleep which had kept him in la-la land that entire Sunday. He’d finally found some painkillers the night before—in a first-aid kit in a kitchen drawer—long after the wind had started howling, the sound driving him almost as insane as the pain screaming in his head. He’d swallowed double the recommended dose of a well-known calmative analgesic and eventually passed out.
The sound of his cellphone ringing elicited a groan. As he rolled over, his fumbling fingers knocked the damned thing onto the floor. He practically fell out of the bed picking it up, resolving then and there never to take more than the recommended dose of any medication ever again.
‘James Logan,’ he muttered blearily into the phone.
‘Wow,’ a man’s voice said. ‘Is that a hangover I’m hearing? You can’t possibly have been asleep. It’s not even seven yet. A bit early for bed. Unless…whoops, have I rung at a bad time?’
James flopped back onto the bed with a weary sigh. It was Russell. ‘Any time would be a bad time at the moment,’ he said bleakly.
‘Sorry, mate. Didn’t mean to interrupt anything. If you like, I could ring back at another time.’
‘No, no. That’s not what I meant. Look, you might as well know what’s happened.’
‘Er—that doesn’t sound too good.’
‘It isn’t.’
‘Tell me.’
‘Megan’s not here. She’s gone home.’
‘What? But why?’
‘I asked her to leave.’ Hell, now, wasn’t that an understatement? James grimaced when he thought of how irrational he’d been yesterday. But he’d been blind with rage. Though not so blind once the reality of the situation became clear. Megan didn’t love him. She hated him. Of course she did. Any woman would.
But that didn’t give her the right to do what she’d done. He might have been rather brutal in his condemnation of her actions, but he hadn’t been totally wrong. Had he?
‘Why on earth would you do a stupid thing like that?’ Russell demanded to know.
‘The bottom line is, mate, that Megan knows. About how and why I married her. She overheard you and Hugh discussing the subject when she was in hospital after losing the baby. She said you thought she was asleep.’
‘Geez, James. I’m sorry. We did think she was asleep.’
‘It’s all right, Russ. It’s not your fault. The fault is all mine.’
‘But if she’s known the truth for this long, why didn’t she say something before now? I mean…why tell you when you were on a second honeymoon?’
‘She didn’t. It all came out when I accidentally found out she was on the Pill. I went off my brain, as you can imagine. She’d led me to believe we were trying for another baby when, in fact, all she wanted was revenge before she told me to get lost.’
‘Revenge? What kind of revenge?’
‘It’s hard to explain.’
‘Try.’
‘Looking back, I think she was trying to get me to fall in love with her. Or at least in lust with her. She acted differently. And she dressed differently. She was very…provocative.’
‘Hot, you mean.’
‘Yeah, hot. She had me going before we even got here. And she kept me going, believe me. I haven’t felt that continuously horny since I was at uni.’
‘Not even with Jackie? You had the hots for her all right.’
‘True. But this was somehow different. Like I said, it’s hard to explain. She told me on the plane that Megan the mouse was gone and that she had a new image. How ironic was that? A new image. The penny should have dropped at that point. I mean, the girl I married was nothing like the girl I took away with me to Dream Island. I should have known something was up. The trouble was, I was too busy thinking about what was up of mine!’
‘Er—I wouldn’t blame Megan entirely for her new image. I think that was partly Nicole’s fault. She told me she encouraged Megan to dress more sexily.’
‘Whatever. The end result was the same. Megan got what she wanted. Me, madly in love with her.’
‘What? I thought you were still hung up on Jackie?’
‘Hell no. I can’t stand that self-centred cow.’
‘But you did meet up with her when you were overseas, didn’t you? Just before your wedding to Megan.’
‘I ran into her one day in New York, that’s all. We only exchanged a few words.’
‘Nothing else?’
‘Bloody hell, Russ, you don’t think I slept with her, do you?’
‘I did wonder.’
James shook his head. ‘What must you think of me?’ he said wearily.
‘I thought you were still in love with her. You never said you weren’t.’
‘Yeah, well, I’m saying so now.’
‘That’s good. Because that’s the reason I’m ringing you. Jackie’s been trying to get into contact with you. Your office told her that you’d be back from holiday on Tuesday and were sure to be at work first thing Wednesday morning. I only know this because your secretary rang to ask me if she did the right thing in not telling your ex where you were. Apparently Jackie said it was an emergency. Anyway, she said she could wait till Wednesday and made an appointment to see you around lunch-time. I didn’t want you coming back without being prepared. Still, I suppose it won’t matter much now that
you and Megan have split up.’
‘If you think I’d take Jackie back, you need your head read.’
‘It’s not my head which needs reading, mate. It’s yours. You had the best girl in the world this time and you blew it. You should have told her the truth from the start, then you might have stood a chance.’
‘I doubt it,’ James muttered. ‘Do you have any idea what Jackie might want?’
‘What do women like that usually want? Money, I suppose.’
‘Well, she won’t be getting any.’
‘What about Megan? You’ll have to look after her, you know, or you’ll have Hugh and me to answer to, not to mention Nicole. Don’t make her go to some sleazebag divorce lawyer. Give her what she rightfully deserves, which is one hell of a lot.’
James thought of all the ugly things he’d said to her, and the ugly way he’d asked her to leave both the island and the house back in Sydney. He could still remember the look on her face. Had it been shock, or hurt? Whatever, she hadn’t argued with him in the end. She’d just gone.
Maybe she shouldn’t have done what she had, but he’d been the first offender. And the worst. If she’d wanted some revenge, who could blame her?
‘Don’t worry,’ he said bleakly. ‘I’ll make sure she’s looked after.’ What would he need his money for now anyway? Having a family in the near future seemed highly unlikely. He wouldn’t get over this in a hurry.
‘So when are you coming back? If Megan’s not there, you might as well get on a plane tomorrow.’
‘Might as well.’
‘Why don’t you come over for dinner tomorrow night? I dare say you’ll need some company by then.’
‘Are you sure Nicole will want me there? I have a feeling I might not be her favourite person, especially after you tell her what’s happened.’
‘Don’t be ridiculous.’
James didn’t think it was at all ridiculous. He’d always known Nicole didn’t care for him the way she did Hugh. And he could see why. He wasn’t a very likeable person. He was arrogant and selfish. And as insensitive as Megan had said he was.
‘OK,’ he said, sighing. ‘See you tomorrow night, then. Seven do?’
‘Seven will be fine. And bring a bottle. Or two. You can sleep the night.’
‘Will do. And thanks, Russ.’
‘For what?’
‘For always being there for me. You and Hugh. I don’t know what I’d do without you.’
There was a short, sharp silence followed by a wry laugh. ‘Watch it, buddy. You’re getting sentimental in your old age.’
‘I guess that’s what truly falling in love does for you,’ he said, and hung up.
Russell slowly replaced the phone then stood up and went in search of Nicole. She was in the kitchen, preparing dinner.
‘I rang James about Jackie wanting to contact him,’ he said, hoisting himself up onto one of the kitchen stools.
Nicole looked up, a frown on her lovely face. ‘I wish you hadn’t.’
‘I almost wish I hadn’t, too. Then I wouldn’t know what I know now.’
Nicole’s frown deepened. ‘Which is?’
‘It’s over. James’s marriage to Megan.’
‘No!’
‘I’m afraid so.’
‘What happened?’
Russell told her everything that James had told him.
‘What utter rubbish!’ Nicole exclaimed once he’d finished. ‘Megan doesn’t have a vengeful bone in her body. The man’s a fool as well as a right royal bastard!’
Russell sighed. James was right. Nicole didn’t overly like him.
‘I don’t think you can blame James entirely for what happened, or for what he thinks. Megan did lie to him. She made him believe they were trying for another baby when she was on the Pill. On top of that, she dressed and acted like some sexpot all the time.’
Nicole grimaced. ‘I suppose I’m to blame for some of that.’
‘I did point that out to him,’ Russell said drily.
‘I was only trying to get James to fall for her!’
‘Well, you succeeded. The poor devil’s even more cut up about this than he was about Jackie.’
‘He really loves her now?’ Nicole questioned him. ‘Are you sure? This is James we’re talking about here, not you or Hugh. He might just be saying that he does.’
‘Why, in God’s name, would he do that? It’s not as though he’s going after her. He says she hates him and that there’s no point. You should have heard him, Nicole. He’s totally shattered.’
‘I find that hard to believe.’
‘You’ll see for yourself tomorrow night. I’ve invited him for dinner.’
‘Oh, no, you didn’t!’
‘Have some compassion, darling. He’s hurting terribly.’
Nicole sighed. ‘Oh, all right. But I’ll bet poor Megan is hurting more. I wonder if she’s already moved out of the house.’
‘I couldn’t say. But I would imagine so. She wouldn’t want to be there when James got home, from the sounds of things.’
‘Where would she go, do you think? She doesn’t exactly have loads of friends.’
Russell shrugged. ‘Her parents’ place, I suppose.’
Nicole winced. ‘Poor Megan. Blind Freddie could see that mother of hers was cock-a-hoop when she married James. She’s not going to be too popular, leaving her super-dooper meal-ticket. I think I might give Kara a call, find out Mr and Mrs Donnelly’s phone number and address. Her mother was a friend of Mrs Donnelly. Played bridge with her, or something like that.’
Russell gave his wife a pained look. ‘Do you really think you should get involved, Nicole?’
‘Russell McClain, I have to tolerate your inviting James here for dinner because you’re his friend. Well, I count myself a friend of Megan’s. What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t see how she was, or offer my help?’
‘As long as that’s all you’re going to do. I don’t want her living here or anything like that.’
‘Please don’t tell me what to do or not to do, Russell,’ she said sternly. ‘I’m your partner, not your employee.’
‘Yes, dear.’
‘That’s better.’ And she returned to cutting up the vegetables.
Russell rolled his eyes once her back was turned. Why was it that women couldn’t do what men did when a relationship was over—get drunk and leave things be? But no, they had to meddle. Anyone with half a brain could see that James’s marriage was dead in the water. Nothing short of a miracle was going to put it right. But he supposed she had to try. That was what made Nicole the wonderful person she was. He really loved her generosity of spirit and her empathy for others.
Sometimes, however, she was just too kind for her own good!
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
WHEN Megan woke the next morning, for a split second she didn’t remember where she was. But then, as she glanced around her old bedroom with clearing eyes and mind, the memories flooded in, and so did the despair.
She moaned and rolled over, burying her face into the pillows.
I can’t bear it. Any of it. Not any more. It’s too much.
Jamming curled fists into her mouth to stop herself from sobbing out loud, she scrunched her body up into a foetal ball and willed herself back to sleep, where at least there was some kind of peace. It took a long time, but she finally achieved her objective.
She was still there, dead to the world, when Nicole rang to speak to her, Megan startled back to abrupt consciousness when her mother shook her shoulder.
‘What?’ she exclaimed, sitting bolt upright.
‘There’s someone on the phone for you,’ Janet Donnelly said softly, her hand covering the mouthpiece of the mobile receiver she was holding. ‘Nicole McClain.’
Megan blinked. How on earth did Nicole know she was here?
There was only one answer to that question: James must have rung Russell and told him what had happened. Then Nicole must have concluded that Megan had nowhere to go bu
t back to her parents’ place.
This last thought brought bucketloads of dismay.
Megan didn’t want to talk to Nicole. She didn’t want to talk to anyone. But how could she refuse with her mother standing there? Janet Donnelly was a stickler for manners.
‘Thank you.’ She took the phone, waiting till her mother had left the room before she spoke.
‘Hello,’ she said.
‘Megan. It’s Nicole.’
‘Yes. Mum said it was you.’
‘You sound dreadful.’
‘Do I?’ She’d thought she sounded normal.
‘Yes, you poor thing. Look, I know what happened. Russell had to ring James yesterday over an urgent business matter and James told him. I have to say that I think he’s acted like an absolute bastard. Now that Russell can’t hear me, I can say that.’
Megan sighed. ‘He wasn’t entirely to blame, Nicole.’
‘Rubbish. He was totally to blame. He should never have married you in the first place. It was wicked of him.’
‘I suppose so.’
‘You sound so defeated. Oh, this is dreadful. So tell me, what are you going to do? Not long-term. Today. What are you going to do today?’
A strange little laugh escaped Megan’s throat. ‘I was going to get up first thing this morning and get myself a job, down at an art gallery I know well. The owner said he’d give me one any time. But I find I don’t have the energy, or the will power. I just want to pull the blanket back over my head and sleep forever.’
‘That’s depression. But you mustn’t do that. Look, Monday’s my day off. I’m going to come and get you and we’ll go down to that art gallery together. Where is it, by the way?’
‘Bondi.’
‘Perfect. We’ll do lunch afterwards. I know just the place. Now, what time is it? Umm…ten-seventeen. I’ll give you till eleven to be ready. No longer, mind. Get up straight away and get yourself into a hot shower. Put on something bright. If you want a job in an art gallery you need some pizzazz.’
Megan didn’t know what to say. Not no, that was for sure. Nicole was like some whirlwind. But a nice one. Her sympathy and kindness were much appreciated, but they opened the floodgates.