Vampire Dating Agency

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Vampire Dating Agency Page 2

by Rosette Bolter


  “I don’t want to be put into a suicide mission,” Haley said. “I mean, I know I did well in my physical, but I’ve never fought a shifter in real life. I can’t be expected to –”

  “Don’t worry, this isn’t a brawl simulator you’ve signed up for. Your fighting skills will only be needed in the gravest of emergencies. What we’re most interested from you is in your problem solving abilities.”

  “Oh. Okay. That sounds … better.”

  “Before I even open up the database, we got something in this morning you might be perfect for. It will certainly demonstrate whether or not you’re a long term asset to invest in.”

  “Invest?”

  “Yes. Invest. You do understand that with every case we receive that our reputation is on the line? We need to know we can trust you before you get to handle tougher, more important casework.”

  “What do you have for me today then?”

  Ms. Armistice grinned. “That’s the spirit.”

  They both paused to drink their drinks.

  “You ever heard of the VDA?”

  “Nope.”

  “The VDA is a borderline criminal operation, completely legalized though currently underground. It’s run by the very type of individuals who would love to see this place shut down, so we have no collaboration or correspondence with them. We know where their headquarters are but we’ve never actually been inside ourselves. It’s extremely hard to get in. We sent third tier investigator in there once just to take pictures and get a feel for things. Never heard or saw from her again. Her cover was obviously broken. We hope that doesn’t happen twice.”

  “Wait,” Haley said. “You sent someone experienced into this place … and they never came out? So they were … killed?”

  “We don’t know what happened to her. Perhaps she had her fairy tale.”

  “Look, this doesn’t sound safe at all. I don’t see how –”

  “Let me finish,” Ms. Armistice said. “Our undercover was clearly out of her depth, but that doesn’t mean you will be. You won’t be doing anything as blatant as taking photos either.”

  “What will I be doing?”

  “VDA stands for Vampire Dating Agency. Yes, you heard that right. Vampires only have protection if they have guild verification to prove they’re not dangerous, and any vampire who is a member of the VDA is entitled to that immediately. Before they went under, the government cleared their screening processes. They’re supposed to be legit. Rights for vampires, vampires deserve love, vampires are people too, a woman should be able to marry a vampire – all that garbage. They’re just looking for sex and not your blood. What a load of shit, but what are you going to do? That’s the world.”

  “Exactly,” Haley said, showing support.

  “Of course, there’s no telling some women. They just line themselves up for the slaughter without a care in the world. I mean … we really have no idea what goes on inside that place. Only, well, someone’s crossed a line.”

  “How do you figure?”

  “In the past three months no less than fifteen women have been found murdered in various locations all across the state. At first the only thing linking them together was their dying due to blood loss, implying this could be any old vampire, or a series of vampires – but the databases eventually came up that all the women were members of the VDA.”

  “Shit.”

  “Now the VDA isn’t stupid enough to let this go with their consent. If the public gets wind of this, there could be all sorts of support to shut the place down, perhaps even go back to the days where killing vampires was legal. Our theory is that while their screening process may be generally effective, one bad apple has managed to squeeze through, and he’s using the VDA as his cover to killing women right and left.”

  “That’s horrible.”

  Ms. Armistice nodded. “This is where you come in, Haley.”

  “What…? Me?”

  “If … you decide to take this assignment, you’ll be sent into the VDA – don’t worry we have connections – and your job will be to identify which vampire is responsible for these killings.”

  “Are you nuts?” Haley balked. “How am I supposed to do that?”

  “You’ll be posing as a stupid, unintelligent fool, who’s got a fetish for vampires and blood. It’s important they see you as an airhead / bimbo. You can’t be suspected at all.”

  “I doubt anyone’s is going to find me alluring if I go in there all retarded.”

  “Well, you’ll get a makeover. We’ll turn you into a little goth girl. That’s what they seem to be into. Judging by the victims…”

  Haley stared at her skeptically.

  “Just act completely oblivious to being in danger. Like you have nothing to hide.”

  “And then what? Wait to be murdered?”

  “Obviously the academy will have taught you how to defend yourself. Which the vampire won’t be expecting at all.”

  “I thought you said only in emergencies would I –”

  “You’ll have a team on standby. You’ll be wired for sound and vision, so we’ll be able to see exactly what you’re up against. If we think it’s too dangerous you’ll hear our voice in your ear, telling you to stand down.”

  “Wow,” Haley laughed. “I knew I’d be getting into some serious stuff, but wowza. I don’t suppose the other cases are any easier are they?”

  “They might be,” Ms. Armistice replied. “But the question is if they are, would you even want them?”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  She had said yes. Yes. Y. E. S. Yes.

  It didn’t feel real for Haley. Not yet. But it sure as shit was going to.

  Ms. Armistice left the room for Haley to finish her coffee, and make some kind of mental preparation for what she was going to endure. As far as she could tell, she’d first have to convince whoever was working in the VDA that she was the goods, the real deal. Easy peaches for the taking. And then she’d be sitting face to face with a man who would love nothing more than to bite and fuck her at the same time, and that was the case even if he wasn’t the one she was searching for. How many? How many of these creatures would she have to lead on before she’d found the one who wanted to kill her? How long before they all figured out she had an agenda?

  Till they discovered, who she was working for…?

  Ms. Armistice returned shortly accompanied by a chubby young woman with short dyed blue hair and serious cleavage. “Haley, this is my assistant Luna Evans. Say hello.”

  “Uh, hello,” Haley said, half standing in her chair.

  “Hello newbie,” Luna said rushing over for a hug. “It’s so great to have you part of the team!”

  Haley mumbled something, her body frozen stiff.

  Luna then let go and turned back to Ms. Armistice, grinning. “Who have you put her on?”

  “We’re sending her off to the VDA,” Ms. Armistice said. “Let her track down which of those mongoloids is massacring us.”

  “Oh, I want to go to the VDA,” Luna jokingly complained. “Having all those hot, saucy vampires drooling over me? Naturally I couldn’t even –”

  “Cut it out,” Ms. Armistice scolded. “Don’t give her any stupid ideas. She’s going to need to be absolutely ruthless to outsmart them.”

  “I don’t know about that,” Luna went on. “I mean you’re in the middle of smooching them and then you interrupt and say ‘Can I powder my nose?’ Then when you get to bathroom, pull back the curtain, see the slaughtered corpse in the shower. And hey you’ve found your man.”

  “Is that seriously what it’s going to be like?” Haley muttered.

  “Don’t listen to her,” Ms. Armistice said. “Remember we’ll have surveillance on you the whole time. We should be able to pick up whether or not the vampire is our man based on your initial interactions. We would hope anyway.”

  “And who knows, you might actually meet the love of your life,” Luna teased.

  “Can you be serious for five minutes, Luna?” Ms.
Armistice said angrily. “I just went on a huge spiel about how she shouldn’t –”

  “It’s okay,” Haley said touching her arm. “I got she was joking.”

  Ms. Armistice glanced at Haley’s hand. “Very well. Anyway, carrying forward … I need you take Haley down to one of the dressing rooms and get her fixed up. Make her look as dark and gloomy as possible.”

  “Do you want me to keep the sexy? Or shall we throw it away.”

  “I think the vampires would have a problem with that, don’t you? Make her gloomy but not at the expense of beauty. I know you haven’t got a whole lot to work with but –”

  “Oh, I’m sure we’ll be fine,” Luna said enthusiastically.

  “When you’re done take her to the conference room on floor five and I’ll introduce her to the rest of the team. Understand?”

  “Crystal clear, Ms. Armistice,” Luna said cheerily. “Good to go, Haley?”

  Haley nodded. “Let’s do it.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  The meeting was scheduled for 12 p.m. Ms. Kendra Armistice had rounded her team up one by one. By the time Jason Freelaw rocked up it was twenty past, and while he wasn’t the first to arrive he certainly wasn’t the last.

  A bald hulk of a man known as Dino Hinch was standing by the door brooding about something. Jason said hi to which Dino gave a light nod without breaking his deadpan. There were some sandwiches under plastic wrap which Jason assumed was for the group, and he hadn’t eaten anything today and was hungry. He thought about taking a sandwich and then turned back to Dino who was looking at him with the usual don’t touch the sandwich or I’ll punch your lights out gaze, so he instead put his hands in his pockets and walked to the back of the room.

  Next in was Maurice Kent, well presented with his pale brown sweater and cornrow cut. He had his laptop with him, which he took to the back of the room and began setting up.

  Jason walked over and said hello.

  “You know what this is about?”

  “Probably more than you,” Maurice replied.

  “That’s why I’m asking,” Jason said. “I just got told it was a twelve-hour deal.”

  “Could be longer.”

  “I told her – I told Kendra I’m taking my leave next week. My parents are coming down – my girlfriend as well. You met Roxanne, didn’t you –”

  “Why are you telling me this?” Maurice asked, typing incessantly.

  “Well just … heads up if it’s a problem. I’d rather know now so I can prepare instead of –”

  “You wanna know why you don’t know anything, Jason?”

  Jason shrugged. “Why?”

  “Cause you’re focused on what you’re gonna be doing when you’re not here, as opposed to when you are.”

  “Look, I’ve been here eight months longer than you have –”

  “So?”

  “So maybe I have more experience in the field than you. I ain’t never seen you put your life on the line since your first year. You always get the hide in a van two blocks away job, while I’m in there risking my life for –”

  “Ooh, sandwiches!”

  Jason looked up and saw his ex-girlfriend Riley McCormick was inside, helping herself to the food. Jason’s eyes shifted past to where Dino was, staring straight ahead, not even paying Riley an inch of attention. Jason chuckled to himself and pulled up a chair beside Maurice.

  “Between you and me,” Jason said, “I think you’re the best friend I’ve got in here.”

  “Sucks to be you.”

  “Yeah. Thanks.”

  Riley walked over to their table, chewing a sandwich in one hand.

  “Good afternoon, Maurice,” she said loosely.

  “Good afternoon.”

  Riley’s eyes slanted in Jason’s direction. “Hello.”

  “Hey.”

  Riley looked back to the corridor. “Where’s Kendra?”

  “She’ll be here soon,” Maurice answered.

  “Well, that’s a relief I’m sure.” She looked down at the bread in her hand. “Why am I the only one who’s eating?”

  “Not hungry,” Jason muttered.

  “So I got a message from Roxanne,” Riley said. “Was really interesting too. You see, she seems to be under the impression you and I –”

  “Sorry to keep you waiting,” Ms. Armistice announced entering the room. “Are we finished with these sandwiches?”

  “Yep,” Riley said.

  Kendra signaled to Dino to take them away. Which he did.

  Jason’s stomach growled.

  “What the fuck were you saying about Roxanne?” he questioned Riley.

  “Hey,” Kendra said snapping her fingers. “Playtime is over. I need your attention over here.”

  The three of them looked up at her.

  “Can we bring those desks forward?” Kendra asked. “I don’t want to have to be constantly shouting at you.”

  “Right.”

  Jason and Maurice stood up and then proceeded to shift their table forward.

  Riley walked to the front of the room. “Can I sit here?” she asked.

  “That’s fine,” Kendra agreed. “Okay. Maurice would you be able to set up my computer, make sure I’m connected to the powerpoint etc.”

  Maurice left Jason’s side to assist Kendra and the front of the room.

  Jason leaned back in his chair, arms folded.

  Dino returned without the plates and peered outside the room a moment, before closing the door.

  “In case you’re wondering,” Kendra said, “today we are investigating the infamous VDA, aka Vampire Dating Agency. And no jokes anyone please. I’ve had enough of that from bleeding Luna. Vampire or not, we have fifteen dead girls and a serial killer on the loose. So let’s try and keep things mature today, shall we?”

  Jason glanced over at Riley.

  She was smiling at him with a devilish grin.

  What? he mouthed at her.

  Dino cleared his throat by the door.

  Jason hastily looked away.

  “Come on Maurice, you’re taking forever,” Kendra hissed.

  “Nearly there,” Maurice murmured. “Okay. Done.”

  Kendra leaned over to see the computer was in order. “Thank you, Maurice. Please take your seat.” She turned to Dino. “You can sit down too if you like.”

  “I’m fine here, Mam,” Dino replied.

  “Okay…” Kendra said rubbing her hands together. “Let’s get started.”

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  “This is the Vampire Dating Agency. As you can see we have pictures of it from the front and side, but getting to the back was too difficult. The house is enormous as you can see. Latest book value was north of a hundred million. They have a security surveillance set up with guards patrolling the grounds twenty-four hours, seven days a week. Somewhat recently, after these pictures were taken, the VDA bought up all the nearby land and properties, locking down the entire road the acreage is located on. There’s been reports that anyone within a ten kilometer radius picks up a tail until they leave the area.”

  “Jesus Christ,” Riley remarked. “What the hell is wrong with these people? They’re all walking into certain death.”

  “To be clear, most of this security is for their vampiric clients, but at certain intervals of the year government officials are granted access to make sure nothing unruly is happening there. I should stress that as controversial as this place may seem, their core intent is to service the needs of vampires looking for companionship, or humans looking to meet a vampire. It seems highly unlikely that any of the murders we’re investigating were committed onsite or with VDA approval.”

  “So what the hell is happening at this place?” Jason asked.

  Kendra leaned against the desk behind her. “They advertise themselves as the safest place to meet a vampire. The humans register their details online and the police are notified of anyone who visits the establishment, and when they leave. According to the website you can have your date wi
th the vampire at the VDA, and I’m sure they have all the facilities that may be associated with that. Our fifteen girls were all killed within a week of visiting the VDA. Some that very same night.”

  “So the killer vampire is following them home?” Maurice suggested.

  “We can’t verify that exactly,” Kendra replied. “All the bodies were found dumped away from the murder scene, so there’s no telling where they were attacked.”

  “Are the VDA working with us at all on this?” Riley asked.

  “Absolutely not,” Kendra answered. “They won’t acknowledge the killer is one of their clients. It’s bad for their reputation. People might get scared away.”

  “I don’t understand,” Riley said. “How are we supposed to investigate this if we can’t get inside the VDA?”

  “We’re sending in an undercover.”

  “What?” Jason blurted out.

  “Holy shit,” Maurice said.

  “Don’t look at me,” Riley joked.

  “We’ve got someone who fits the profile of most of the victims.”

  “How’s that?” Jason asked.

  “Of the fifteen victims, twelve were aged twenty or under. Of the fifteen, eight were wearing black, five purple, and two blue. Nine had facial piercings, eleven were wearing heavy makeup around the eyes, and all fifteen had short black hair.”

  “And where are you going to find someone like that?” Jason wanted to know.

  At that moment Dino peered through the window above the door, and then opened it, allowing Kendra’s assistant Luna, and another girl matching all the features that had previous mentioned.

  “Hey everybody!” Luna said cheerfully. “Come over here and meet the new girl.”

  Jason and Maurice got up from their desks.

  The new girl walked forward nervously.

  “Hi,” she said. “I’m Haley. What are you guys talking about?”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Haley’s eyes shifted from the two guys approaching her, to Ms. Armistice and the slideshow adjacent. Photo after photo, girl after girl, they all looked the same. They all looked like Haley. At first she didn’t get it (jeepers, is this my competition?) but then it became clear who the faces belong to. All these women, all these people, they were dead. Buried. Gone.

 

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