by Kris Bryant
“Okay, but wear clothes with pockets so you can hear your phone if I call,” she said.
“You’re so bossy,” I said, but I nodded. She had caved and I won.
“Look, I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life. I’m just worried. I…care for you. I really do. We have a good thing going. I feel responsible for you.” She pulled me close to her and kissed me soundly on the mouth. “And I mean that in a good way, not a possessive way.”
“I know. You’ve been wonderful to me. I don’t want anything to happen to me either.” I bent down and picked up Wally. For the first time ever, he let me. He liked to be flipped on his back so I carried him like a baby and followed Brynn out to the truck.
“Here are the keys to the Toyota. If you need anything, take it. Just please let me know you’re out and about so I don’t freak.” She crawled into her truck and took Wally from me. He scurried to the passenger side and leaned up on the dash.
“Should he be put in a seat belt?”
Brynn laughed. “Sure, go ahead. Try to restrain a wild animal.”
“Or at least a cage so if you hit something, he doesn’t get hurt?” I was starting to care for more than just Brynn.
“He’ll be fine. I promise. Go finish your story. I’ll check in with you later.” She leaned down and kissed me. It was sweet and so couple-like. I almost bounced away, but then realized I was an adult so I stood there and waved as she drove off. Then I bounced up the stairs and into the cabin.
I wanted to review the fishing story and get words down on the sanctuary, but I also wanted to finish my memoirs of my time here. I pulled up my photo folder labeled “Sanctuary” and looked through all of the photos. I had some incredible shots. I grabbed a cup of coffee, locked the cabin door, and sat down to get caught up on my experiences.
Brynn’s call scared the living shit out of me. I fumbled to answer the call. “Hi.” Four hours had passed. I’d barely looked up from my computer during that time. I took off my glasses and rubbed the bridge of my nose. My eyes were scratchy and I wasn’t blinking enough. Time for a break.
“How’s it going?” Her voice sounded strained.
“Good. What’s going on with you? Why do you sound upset?”
“Just received some news. Lara called to tell me the troopers found one of the trailers you took photos of on a back road.”
“Did they find anything in it?” I was anxious for her answer.
“Well, the truck was beat to hell. Somebody took a bat to it, smashed out all of the windows, and ripped up the seats.”
“I’m surprised they didn’t set it on fire.” In my mind, that was the quickest way to get rid of evidence.
“The smoke would draw too much attention. They ripped out all of the tags and scratched out all serial plates on the truck, but they missed a tag on the trailer.” She didn’t sound excited about that information. My heart sank.
“They couldn’t find anything on it?”
“The trailer was registered to a company that doesn’t exist anymore so they are running every name they can find associated with the company through the database. They’ve set a trap if the owners come back, but at this point, it’s obvious they abandoned them.”
“Wow. Who can afford to just leave a giant truck and trailer behind?” Between the two of them, those items must have cost about a hundred grand.
“Hunters who are doing illegal stuff for high profits, that’s who.”
“Brynn, they’ll catch these guys.” I sounded sure and positive, but I was surprised they were still in the area. I would have been in a different time zone by now.
“I know. I’m just worried. I want them gone so that you and all of the animals are okay. We haven’t had a poaching problem this close to town in a long time.” Her tone was scaring me.
“Seriously, I can’t imagine they would hurt me.” My voice shook. I cleared my throat, determined to sound strong and sure. “Hunting big game illegally is one thing, murder is a whole different ballgame. Nobody wants to go to jail over me.”
“We don’t know what they are capable of. People change when it comes to large amounts of money. We have no idea how big this poaching ring is.” Her voice was muffled and I pictured her running her hands over her face. I almost smiled at the visual. I had to change the subject for both of our sakes.
“I’m holed up in your fortress. Nobody knows I’m here. Let’s assume they aren’t even going to find me. Okay? Thank you for calling me and letting me know. Let’s talk about something else. Tell me about your day. How’s Wally?” Brynn was overthinking all of this. I wasn’t the best thing to happen to her with all of my mishaps and crappy attitude. She, however, was the best thing to happen to me.
“Wally’s out there greeting people. Fishing season starts in a few weeks so people are starting to trickle in. That’s good for the sanctuary. We’ll start getting donations and can get things we need like equipment, medicine, and cages,” she said.
We chatted for about five more minutes. I talked her out of coming home for a late lunch. I was on a roll and only wanted to stop to eat a bite. I didn’t want to have to entertain. I loved that she understood and kept her distance. Brynn Coleman was perfect for me and my career.
Chapter Twenty-three
“At some point, you’re going to have to turn in something.” I rolled my eyes while Erin chewed me out.
“I promise you will have everything tomorrow,” I said. The fishing story was done and I was polishing it up when she called, surprising me.
“When are you coming back?”
I was quiet as I thought about her question. I hadn’t thought about going home since day two of my trip here. Even with poachers looking for me, I was having a good time. No, I was having the time of my life. I met some great people, ate fantastic food, and had sex almost every night with a beautiful butch. Brynn was amazing. Not just in the bedroom, but with everything she did. She didn’t take shortcuts and approached life head-on.
“Soon. After I send everything to you, I would like you to read it and let me know if there’s anything else we need while I’m still here. You know, pictures, waivers, that kind of thing.” It sounded like a good excuse. I hoped she would fall for it.
“How is everything else going? Are you staying out of trouble?” she asked.
Shit. I forgot to tell her about the poaching thing. “About that,” I said.
“You’ve got to be kidding me, Kennedy. Did you trash another car?” She groaned.
I sat and told her the whole story from the animal that got shot, to the mysterious man looking for me at the car rental place.
“How can nobody know that guy? Surely they have facial recognition software they can use,” Erin said. I pictured her sitting on the edge of her seat, leaning forward, eating popcorn, listening to every single word like it was my last.
“It’s not as if Anchorage’s police force has FBI equipment. This whole town seems pretty low key. No frills. Besides, it’s only been a week. They will get these guys,” I said.
“A week?” She practically shouted it. “That’s it. Get back here.”
My heart sank. I wasn’t ready to go home. There were too many unfinished things, words, feelings here in Alaska. “I can’t. They might need me to identify these guys or whatever. I’ll stay here for a few more days and wrap things up. I’ll be in next week to discuss my first assignment back on Mainstream.”
She snorted. “Yeah, let me read your feature first. Then we can discuss your next move.”
“Don’t even think about backing out. We have an agreement. Signed even.” My voice got higher.
“Relax. I’m just playing with you. I’m sure your article is great. I’m looking forward to it. Work has been extremely boring without you here.”
“Now I know you’re lying. Work is never boring,” I said. It felt good that she missed me even if she was the only one. I’d only spoken to Erin since coming here. I received a few random texts from people I considered frie
nds who didn’t even know I was gone. I was invited to two parties, a fundraiser, and was reminded of my upcoming dentist appointment.
“Nobody gets me like you do. Take care of yourself. I’ll call you in a few days.” Erin disconnected the call before I could even say good-bye.
I pulled up my article on my laptop. The fishing story was informative and fun, and it had great photos. The sanctuary story was brilliant. My heart was woven throughout the feature in the language and accompanying photos. I knew Erin would be pleased. I closed it and opened my journal. A lot of it was about the sanctuary, but most of it was about Brynn. I was emotional and had written my thoughts with care and love.
Love? I barely stopped myself from panicking. I could love an idea, or a place, or a group of people and animals, right? Love meant what was inside of me and having a positive connection with those around me. I loved Wally. I didn’t think I would, but he was on my mind a lot. And the work at the sanctuary—Tina, Rick, Roger, Brody. All of the hurt animals made my soul bleed, but knowing they would make it out in the wild or even a life at the beautiful sanctuary made the journey and emotional investment so worth it.
And Brynn. She was wonderful. I didn’t love her. I was incapable of romantic love, right? My heart had been tucked away for so long that it seemed so unlikely that it would make an appearance now. I mean, I was leaving in a few days. It needed to stay safely inside. I paced the room to help me expel energy. Was I in love with Brynn? We’d known each other three weeks. Less than a month. Nobody fell in love that quickly. I was just grateful for her in my life and the thousands of times she saved me. Love wasn’t when my heart fluttered when I saw her, or how my breath hitched when she walked over to me. She was beautiful and strong, but that was only physical appreciation. I thought about her all of the time, but I was in her house and in her bed. That was geographical. Love was something different. Love was wanting to be around a person and accepting their flaws and weaknesses. It was the need to touch, hold, please, console, support, and satisfy.
What I felt for Brynn was all of that. I sank down on the couch. I was in love with Brynn Coleman. She was my first thought of the day, and my last when I fell asleep in her arms at night. How did this happen? I started a new page and jotted down everything I felt. I didn’t stop until Brynn and Wally came home.
“Are you okay?” Brynn dropped the bag of groceries on the counter and sank to her knees in front of me. “Did something happen? “There was such concern on her face. She touched my cheek lovingly. Did Brynn love me, too? Did we both slip?
“No, I’m fine.” I put my hand on top of hers.
“You’re white as a sheet. Have you eaten today?” she asked. That was a good question. I’d been writing for hours. We both knew how easy it was for me to forget about time when I was engrossed.
“Um, well. I don’t know.” I was honest.
She stood up. “Okay, I’m making an early dinner. I want you to relax for the next thirty minutes. That means no laptop, no cell phone, nothing. Your butt stays right there. Wally can keep you company if you want.” She was so cute when she was serious. I watched her move around the kitchen, gracefully and quietly. Dinner was a chicken casserole. I couldn’t remember the last time I had a casserole, but it smelled delicious.
“Tell me about your day,” I said.
Before cooking, Brynn had untucked her uniform shirt, loosened her tie, and rolled up her sleeves. I loved watching the nightly ritual. Her hair looked perfect, and messy, and I wanted to touch her. I was desperate to feel her, to run my hands through her hair, to feel her against me.
“Do I have to stay right here? I missed you today.” I pointed to the couch, my prison, and she crooked her finger at me. I quickly jumped up and walked over to her.
“I thought about you all afternoon, but I didn’t want to bother you because I knew you were busy getting your story done. Are you finished?” She put her arms around my waist and pulled me closer. I leaned into her and sighed. She smelled fresh and outdoorsy.
“I’m getting there. I talked to my boss who asked when she was going to see something. I promised her everything by tomorrow. I’m basically finished. Just one last read through and a few minor changes.” She kissed the top of my head and we stood there like that until Wally decided he wanted in on the cuddle action. Brynn reached for him.
“Come here, big guy. Did you tell Kennedy how you wowed the crowd today? How you were super sweet and had your picture taken a zillion times?” She flipped him and I rubbed his belly until he started nipping at my fingers playfully.
“I bet you’re an internet star and you don’t even know it.” I made a mental note to check YouTube later. “How big is he going to be? Or will he just stay this size?”
Brynn laughed. “Oh, no. He could get up to fifty pounds. I’m hoping he was the runt of the litter and only gets to be about thirty pounds.”
“That’s huge. I had no idea. I wish he would stay this size forever. He’s so adorable.” I rubbed both of his ears. Wally closed his eyes in contentment.
“Let’s take this giant baby over to the couch. Dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes. Do you need something to nibble on in the meantime?” She was always so thoughtful.
“I’m fine. I can wait that long.” I skipped a lot of meals back home. This wasn’t unusual.
Wally scurried off to find his tennis ball and Brynn pulled me back to lean against her. She took the ball from Wally’s mouth and tossed it behind the couch. He panted and scurried off to fetch it.
“He’s so much like a dog,” I said. Having never had a dog before, I was going by what I read in books and saw on television.
“He will sleep hard when he finally relaxes. Most days he gets a great nap in, but today was busy at the sanctuary.” She threw the ball for him over and over until the timer went off for dinner.
I sighed and moved out of the way. I missed the warmth and weight of her arm across my chest as she held me. We washed up and prepared our plates. Dinner smelled delicious. It was comfort food and I smiled during the entire meal. Brynn’s life was far more interesting than mine and she answered every question I asked. What was her favorite television show? When did she have her first kiss? What did she do for fun around Anchorage?
After feeding Wally, we retired to the couch where she resumed holding me. I talked about ten times more than she did. When she fell asleep, I left the comfort of her embrace. I finished editing the article, separated all of the photos I wanted to send, and finished my journal with tonight’s entry of the sweet exchange Brynn and I had. I only had a few days left here. I blocked out leaving from my head and my heart. I didn’t want to think about the heartache I would feel after leaving this place. Who knew that I, Kennedy Wells, self-absorbed, self-assured southern California snob, was capable of being heartbroken?
* * *
“I’m so sorry I fell asleep last night. You should’ve woken me.” Brynn voice was gravelly in my ear. I moaned as she ran her hands up and down my back apologetically.
I didn’t tell her that I tried on several occasions, but she refused to wake up. “I’ve kept you up late several nights in a row. You needed your sleep.” She drew circles and random designs on my skin. My body broke out in chill bumps. “That feels good. And after about thirty more minutes of this, I’ll accept your apology.” She poked me playfully and made me giggle. I rested my chin on her shoulder. I wanted to see her. “Thank you for everything, Brynn. For helping me out and always being there for me. I couldn’t have done any of this without you. I would’ve given up on Alaska weeks ago.”
She gave me a quick you’re welcome squeeze and twirled my hair around her fingers. “Did you get everything done?”
“Yes. I was pretty tired, but I emailed the files and photos to Erin right before I dragged you off the couch,” I said.
“So, you’re finished.”
I nodded. “I told her I would wait until I heard back from her before I made plans to go home. There might be
some photo she wants or an interview I need to do. And I’m not using any of the company’s money since I’m here with you.” We lay there quietly. I was dying to know what was on her mind. I was so confused and nervous.
She had made it very clear that she wasn’t the kind of person who jumped in without thinking. She kept her distance from women like me. The noncommittal kind. Funny how nothing else mattered to me but moments with Brynn. My articles were stellar. Erin and Travis were going to love them. I should have been happy. I just didn’t want to go home. I kissed Brynn’s shoulder.
“We should probably get up, huh? Can I go with you today?”
Her lips curved in her crooked smile. “I would love that. Today we’re going to drive around and check the lots again. It’s boring so having you as company will make my day.” She brushed a kiss on my forehead. Playtime was over and we needed to get our day started. “Meet me in the shower?” She slipped out from beneath me and padded into the bathroom, naked, confident, and beautiful.
I was going to miss her. The way she moved, the way she smelled, the way she protected me. I was going to miss Wally, this cabin, the town, my new friends, the food, and the thrill of the outdoors. I brushed an errant tear away. I was even going to miss Martha, the moose that destroyed my rental car. Well, maybe not her, but being up close and personal with nature. I allowed myself thirty more seconds of wallowing, then joined Brynn in the shower.
Chapter Twenty-four
The cabin of the Jeep felt small. I was unbelievably sad at the thought of leaving this life at the drop of a phone call from my boss. Brynn seemed lost in her thoughts, too. I wanted to know what she was thinking, but I was afraid her thoughts didn’t mirror mine and that terrified me. I’d rather go home with my chin up and my heart breaking, than admit I was in love and skulk away with the carcass of what was left of my heart dragging behind me. I couldn’t bear the thought of Brynn not feeling anything for me. She liked me, liked my company, but was there anything more? How did the rest of the world act in a situation like this? I was at a loss. I needed to turn to a friend for advice. Erin was the first person to pop into my head but I knew she wasn’t going to encourage me to follow my heart. No, she would want me to follow the next story. She wasn’t heartless, but she was a businesswoman.