“Just leave me alone!”
“Fine but you are getting mad at the wrong people. You should’ve put your hands around that bitch’s neck; she’s the one you needed to choke!”
“Do you know what this means?”
“No, I don’t, why don’t you tell me.”
“She was obviously fucking around behind my back during our engagement.”
“Really? I wonder how you got that idea.”
“Furthermore, she is a lying ass h…”
“I can’t let you do this to yourself, I’ve been where you are too many times in my life, and as your friend I’m not going to let you go through it.”
“What? What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Yo relax.” Eli picked my tie off the ground and dusted it off before handing it back to me. “Alright… The key to getting through things in life is not by looking at and over analyzing the obvious.”
Eli just stayed calm and collected with a slight grin on his face. “Not right here, you’ve got to calm down and then I can school you in how to deal with bitches like her. Come on, let’s go get some drinks. Besides, you weren’t ready to get married anyway.”
“I guess I could really use a drink right now because I can’t even think straight. Thanks Eli and I’m sorry I lost control. It’s just that…”
“No need to explain. Everything is cool.”
Before getting into the car I looked up at the church and silently promised myself I would never feel like this again.
Later that day I was calm enough to hear what Eli was trying to say. We sat opposite each other at the bar as I stared at the bottom of my glass.
“What you have to realize is that there was a reason your woman left you.”
“Not really, she was a ho.”
“Yeah… but that is not necessarily the reason.”
“So what are you saying? I wasn’t good to her or this was my fault? First off; I did everything for her and was always available to talk and do what she wanted to do. Sheila wasn’t about shit, bottom line.”
Eli shook his head, sipped his beer and looked at me. “You finished? You’re not reading between the lines.”
“You didn’t hear a word I said, did you? She was a bird and I was too love struck to see her feathers.”
“No no no… You have to look back because she didn’t just decide to cheat on you. You have to study women, further more become a fast learner and try understanding what it was about this guy Shy that, despite all you did, that made it possible for him to have taken her away.”
Eli made sense. He had no idea what door he had pried open. “Tell me more.”
At that moment Aaron walked into the bar. Aaron and Eli were complete opposites when it came to their outlook on relationships. Aaron couldn’t make it in time for the wedding because he was attending a family funeral on his wife’s behalf.
“I’m sorry that slut monkey embarrassed you.” Aaron waived for the bartender and ordered his drink.
Aaron is a happily married man with two children and a lovely wife named Crystal. They shared the same profession, and both taught at a local elementary school. Some people seem made for each other, and Aaron and Crystal where one of those couples. They have been together since their sophomore year in college and they loved one another in a way that would make even the happiest people envious.
“My wife and I share your pain Jay.”
Eli quickly tried to take control of the conversation, “He’s going to be just fine.”
“She is a fool for leaving someone like you,” Aaron took a sip from his glass and sat down beside us.
“Thanks Aaron.”
Aaron and Eli are cool but they always seemed to be in competition with one another for my friendship. Eli’s advice was to brush off this incident as a simple shot in the dark and he wanted me to pick up the pieces by just getting back in the game.
“He doesn’t need any sympathy at this point Aaron, he has to mellow out and bounce back from all this crap.”
“Eli what’s the matter with you?” Replied Aaron, “His fiancé just ran away with that Taye Diggs wanna be on his wedding day, made him look like an ass in front of all his friends and family and your advice is for him to just bounce back? Man, fuck that.”
“Gee… Thanks.”
“You remember that summer, E, when you did your internship with that engineering company?”
“Yeah, it was the year before graduation.”
“Jamal was so busy and broke that summer that he really couldn’t do all the things that he wanted to do and that’s how Shy snuck in.”
Friends have a way of completely vilifying the women of past relationships and vindicating their boys, but I had to set the record straight. “No, it wasn’t like that at all. We were arguing over stupid shit and Shy must have always been there to comfort her. Sheila was using him to get back at me. I guess something blossomed inside of her and she…”
From the look on Eli’s face, he wasn’t buying the bullshit I was trying to sell him. He had a hard spot for women and he quickly interrupted me. “Fuck her; all you need to do is take it easy.”
“And do what E?”
“Take some time off of work; go on a vacation and just chill.”
“Or if you need to talk, my house is at your disposal.” Aaron countered.
Aaron’s advice was more sound and the least expensive. I recognized their efforts to be there for me. “Thanks for the offer Aaron; strangely enough, I think I’ll be cool. Good looking out as well E, I just need time to myself right now if you guys don’t mind.”
“I won’t leave you here all by yourself; you need your boys at a time like this.”
“You guys can go ahead for real, I am going to go home in a while or go to my parent’s house.”
“We don’t want to leave you sitting here like this Jamal.” Aaron placed a fifty dollar bill on the bar before turning to walk away.
“I’m cool, just go ahead before we all get wasted up in here. I swear I’ll be alright.”
My friends reluctantly left me at the bar. Surprisingly, I was over what happened earlier. Something in me had changed. It was like I chopped the wood; Sheila lit the fire, and Aaron and Eli were standing next to it fueling it to keep it aflame. Little did they know they had set the scene for something catastrophic. I knew exactly what I would do. I would never let myself be played again.
Chapter 2: Ghettomorphasis
People deal with pain the best or easiest way that they can. Some choose not to deal with it at all while others may over indulge themselves in alcohol, sex, or drugs. I wasn’t too sure which of those would be my coping method just yet. The next day, I came back to the bar very eager to get back in the game. Confused and hurt people have a way of doing things they think they would never do. Most of the time they get involved in relationships they would never think twice about if the situations were different; or they slept with people they normally wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole.
I found the prettiest soft-spoken vulnerable woman I could find. The music was playing and I, hastily, jumped on the dance floor.
“Hey beautiful, want to dance?”
Her body was in perfect harmony as I watched her wind around and around until she was finally facing me. “Sure.”
We started to dance but I guessed she could feel that I was a little too anxious. Women seem to have a sixth sense for these things.
“Do you come here often?”
“Sometimes.” One-word responses are good indicators of a lack of interest.
“My name is Jamal. What’s your name baby?”
“Tanya.”
“Maybe sometime we could…”
“You said you wanted to dance right?”
“Yeah.”
“Well that’s all I am interested in, dancing.”
“I’m just trying to talk to you. You know, take you out or something.” I continued to hold her hips and grind against her backside.
She turned around and backed away from me. “I think I’m going to sit down now. You have a good night.”
I was embarrassed because I was out of my element. I felt like a fish out of water. What was I doing wrong? This was not my style. I slowly made my way across to the bar.
“Woman troubles?” Even the bartender noticed I was struggling.
“I’m sitting here in a club trying to pick up women the day after being stood up at the altar.”
“Damn, that’s some bullshit.”
“Tell me about it.”
“That deserves a beer. This one is on the house.”
“Thanks man. I really appreciate that.”
“I’m Johnny C and you can talk to me anytime you’re in here, okay?”
“I’m Jamal.” I shook his hand and thanked him again for my drink.
“Could an old timer like me, give you a word of advice?”
“Sure, I’m all ears.”
“The best way to get a woman to love you and gravitate towards you is to just be yourself because nobody is better at being you.”
“I hear what you’re saying but that’s never worked for me.” I left him a $20 bill and got up from the bar; “Nice talking to you man.”
“Same to you, try to be easy now.”
As I walked away from the bar, I realized that Johnny C’s words had truth to them, but not in the way he intended. His words coupled with Eli’s advice gave me a dangerous formula that I began working on in the back of my mind.
The next day I was preparing to go and meet Aaron and Crystal for dinner. I was at the Laundromat washing some clothes and working on some projects that were late. I noticed this beautiful woman quietly glancing at me. I pretended to ignore her and continued folding my clothes. From the graceful way she walked to her brilliant smile, she seemed perfect in every way. The woman began to say something but was interrupted by two little kids that ran up to her, calling her mommy. I was interested but kids usually mean you will at some point have to deal with her babies’ daddies and I don’t need that kind of drama in my life.
“Adorable kids,” I said as I walked by her.
“Thank you.” She replied and I quickly sat down and pretended to look busy. She glanced at me, with a look of interest, several times but never said a word. The proof was definitely evident that being myself was easier and convenient when meeting new people.
Later that evening at Aaron’s house over dinner, Crystal tried her best to console my heart and aching ego. “Don’t worry Jamal; I have a cousin that is single and looking for a good guy like you.”
“Thanks Crystal, but I think I’ll pass on that one. I’m just focusing on myself right now, trying to get my head right.”
Aaron quickly changed the subject, “How is work?”
“I’ve been slacking off but now I’m getting back on track.”
“I’ll leave you two to talk; I’m going to put the kids to bed.” Crystal gathered the dishes and headed off to the kitchen.
“Excellent dinner Crystal.”
“Thank you, good night guys.”
“Good night.”
Aaron was a lucky man and he had good reason to be. He was good to her and she was always good to him. Their relationship was something I was trying to mimic. I had the right concept; I was just trying to put it together with the wrong person. Aaron and I moved to the study room and began to talk about everything that was going on with me. He began to switch into teacher mode while I, the student, was looking forward to learn all I could.
“Soon enough Jamal, this is going to be you.”
“Yeah I hope so, but tell me something Aaron…”
“Yeah sure. What’s up?”
“After all these years you have been married, how do you keep your relationship together?”
Aaron put down his drink and sat up in the chair.
“Well…nothing is just cut and dry. There will always be disagreements and other problems but the key to getting through is deciding that no matter what comes your way, you will face them together. Effective listening will help you find the best solution.”
“What do you mean?”
“Men are bull-headed due to pride and we don’t listen sometimes, as much as we should.”
“I see where you’re going, we block them out sometimes.”
“Right, if you took the time out to actually listen to what a woman is saying, become more attentive to her feelings and thoughts; you’d become a well rounded listener and supporter.”
“I guess there is always room for improvement.”
“Think about it, you would drive yourself crazy trying to figure out everything that is going on in a woman’s mind.”
“True that!”
“It’s better to simply look for the signs and go accordingly.”
“You obviously know what you’re talking about because you and Crystal are happy together.”
“I’m grateful; believe me because it’s a jungle out there.”
“Thanks for dinner and the pep talk but I have to go. I have a lot to work to do.”
“Alright, just don’t be a stranger and whatever you do, don’t let this bad experience you had with Sheila change who you are. Heartache has a way of driving people to do compromising things.”
“I hear you.”
As I walked out of his house, I was trying to organize all I learned, but I couldn’t help thinking about that woman I met earlier. Aaron is my boy and all but I didn’t believe he totally understood where I was coming from. Though I knew he was right, I felt indifferent.
The next few days were filled with rage, sadness, and the vulnerability of being alone. My mind was like a movie theater that continuously played every part of the wedding day. I began to analyze what was said and how I reacted. Despite Aaron and Crystal’s spiel about love and commitment, I started to believe that it was a fantasy only meant for a select few. Unfortunately, I wasn’t one of that chosen ones.
That night, I went out by myself to do some field study. I needed to do a touch up on my game with the ladies. My classroom was this popular spot called “Night Ice.” Night Ice is an upscale club that has some of the best interior designs in the city. I began to make mental notes of the different type of men in the club and how they picked up or struck out with the women. This study was vital to my future success and so I had to disregard any potential interactions that might ruin what I was trying to accomplish. As horny and desperate as I felt inside, I had to ignore some of the hottest women in there. I almost lost all composure when this petite red bone sashayed towards me.
“Hey cutie, want to dance?”
“No thanks. I’m just chilling.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, but if I change my mind I will definitely come find you.”
“Make sure you do that.” Licking her lips she turned and walked away.
That was too damn close. She was gorgeous, but if I was going to be good at reading women, I had to make some adjustments and sacrifices.
As the night went on, I observed some interesting dynamics. There was the thugged out, too tough to two step, knucklehead that women moderately responded to. Then there was the loser that tried too hard to be suave or sexy that made women wonder whether he was a player or poorly trying to be one. Either way, it spelled desperation to women.
The last type of dude I noticed really intrigued me because he reminded me of a cunning wolf. Wolves have been known to stalk their prey for days waiting patiently without eating until the mood was right and most of the time their prey has no clue that they’re on the menu. At first it appeared that this brother was not even thinking about any women in the whole establishment, he just sat there until he was interrupted. I moved in closer so I could take notes.
“Excuse me, but would you like to dance?”
“No thanks, I’m actually waiting for someone who didn’t show up yet but you look stunning. That dress color brings out your skin tone.”
“Thanks.”
/>
“You’re more than welcome sweetheart, enjoy your night.”
“You too… And I hope she shows up.”
“Thanks, me too!”
Wow, was it really that easy? That actually had me believing that the subtle approach was the best approach. I almost missed this type because few men can do what he was doing with such style. I’ve seen that guy before at a different club waiting for his “date.” The most interesting part of the whole situation is that later that night, the same girl came back to see if he was okay.
What Lies Between The Sheets Page 2