“Okay, Olivia, I’ll give you a lift. But I’m telling you right now, we’re not having sex,” I told her. “Now give me the directions so I can drop you off and take my drunk ass home.”
Chapter 23
THE DRIVE TO Olivia’s friend’s house took forty-five minutes. It should have only taken a half hour, but Olivia couldn’t remember which exit to get off, or at least that’s what she claimed. She tried to bring up what happened between us in Chicago, but I ignored her and focused on where I was going. I was so intoxicated that the lines on the road began to blur. It didn’t help that my bladder was about to explode from all the alcohol I drank.
When we pulled into the circular driveway, I quickly unlocked the doors to let her out.
“Have a good night, Olivia. Bye!”
“Thanks for the ride.” She leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “You’re a lifesaver.”
“You’re welcome. Now good night.”
“You sure you don’t want to come in for a nightcap, you know, for old times’ sake?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I said while squeezing my legs together to keep from peeing on myself.
“Are you all right? You seem a little tense.”
“I’m fine, I just want to get going. I’ve got a long drive home.”
“Julian, stop acting silly and come inside and use the bathroom. I’m not going to bite you.” She got out of the car and ran toward the front door. “Come on!”
I knew it was a bad idea, but I had to go. There were no gas stations in sight and I didn’t want to get shot while peeing in somebody’s bushes, so I turned off the ignition and rushed out into the rain behind her.
The one-story ranch house was very quaint. The lawn, which was about a quarter acre, was well manicured with rose beds lining both sides of the walkway. The entrance had double glass doors and expensive marble tile, which appeared to be brand-new. There were moving boxes everywhere. I stumbled over one as I walked into the foyer.
“So where’s the bathroom?”
“Down that hall.” She pointed. “First door to your right.”
I walked as fast as I could without running. When I finally made it to the toilet, I let it rip. Usually when a man hasn’t been inside a woman’s house before he’ll try to pee on the side of the toilet to avoid making a loud splashing sound, but I didn’t care if it sounded like Niagara Falls. My bladder was so full I peed for two minutes straight. “Ah,” I moaned. “That’s better than sex.”
When I came out of the bathroom, Olivia was in the kitchen drying her hair with a towel. There was a pot of water boiling on the stove and two cups and saucers sitting on the counter.
“I thought you might like a cup of tea to help you sober up.”
“No thanks, Olivia, I’ve gotta go.” I was walking toward the door. “I appreciate the use of the bathroom. Take care.” Then I rushed out.
The rain was coming down even harder by the time I got back to the car. I was worried about the power going out at home, so I pulled out my cell phone to call Samantha.
“All circuits are busy; please try your call again later,” the recording said.
I tried to call a second and third time but got the same message. As I was about to drive off, I noticed that the car was leaning on the front driver’s side. I figured it was the alcohol playing tricks on me, but as I drove faster the car pulled sharply to the left.
“What the—” I stopped at the end of the driveway and stepped out to see what was wrong. When I kneeled down to inspect the front driver’s side tire, I saw it was flat.
“That’s just what I need, a flat tire at three o’clock in the morning in the middle of a fuckin’ hurricane! Why me, Lord?” I shouted into the sky.
I popped the trunk and pulled out the jack and spare tire. The lug wrench was small and hard to hold onto. When I tried to loosen the bolts on the tire, my hand slipped off and smashed against the ground.
“Goddamnit!”
I tried again, then again, but each time it slipped off. I conceded defeat and got back in the car to call Hertz’s roadside assistance. This time my cell phone read: LOOKING FOR SERVICE.
I dreaded the thought of going back inside the house to deal with Olivia, but I had no choice. I locked the car doors and rushed up the driveway soaking wet. Olivia must have been watching from the window, because the door swung open before I could ring the bell.
“What’s the matter?”
“I’ve got a flat. I need to use your phone.”
“It’s right there on the end table.”
I dialed the number, hoping someone would pick up. When they finally did, I felt relieved.
“Hello, Hertz? I have a flat tire and I need assistance.”
“What’s your contract number?”
After I gave her my number she put me on hold while she checked to see if there were any tow trucks available.
“Sorry, sir, we’re swamped with calls tonight due to the bad weather. We can get a truck out to you first thing in the morning.”
“I really need to get home tonight, miss. I’m willing to tip generously.”
“We don’t work like that, sir. But as I said, if you give me the directions to where your vehicle is located, we’ll come by first thing in the morning and take care of it.”
“Olivia, what’s the address here?”
“Two forty-four Jefferson Parkway.”
I repeated the address to the operator along with the other details they needed to get my service set up for the morning. After I hung up the phone, I leaned back on the sofa and put my hands over my face. I was so tired and drunk that the room felt like it was spinning. Olivia came over with a towel and a cup of hot tea.
“Here, drink this. It’ll make you feel better.” While I sipped the tea, she took off my blazer and began drying me with the towel. When I closed my eyes and started to relax, she lifted my feet and tried to take off my shoes.
“Hold on, slick!” I grabbed her hand. “I’m not that drunk!”
“I’m just trying to make you comfortable. You are staying the night, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I want to get naked. All I need is a blanket and pillow, and I’ll be fine.”
“You’re too tall to sleep on this small sofa.”
“I’ll sleep on the floor, then.”
“Don’t be silly; you can sleep in the guest room.”
“And where are you going to sleep?”
“In my girlfriend’s bed. She’ll probably spend the night at her boyfriend’s house.”
“All right, lead the way. I’m too damned tired to argue.”
All I remembered from that point on was the softness of the mattress underneath me and the lights going out.
“Sleep well, my sweet Julian,” I heard Olivia whisper. Then she kissed me on the cheek. “I’ve got a big surprise for you in the morning.”
Chapter 24
EARLY THE NEXT morning I was awakened by a loud horn. When my vision cleared I glanced around the room, not knowing where I was. Then it hit me. “Olivia,” I said with disgust. I staggered over to the window and saw a muddied tow truck parked in the driveway. The driver was an elderly white man wearing a cowboy hat. He was already at work changing the tire. “Better late than never!”
I didn’t want to be in Olivia’s presence any longer than I had to. I hurried into the bathroom and began washing underneath my arms. That’s when I realized my shirt was gone, along with my pants, shoes, blazer, car keys, and cell phone. Then I noticed a bruise on the right side of my neck. I thought it was some kind of rash, but when I turned on the lights I realized it was a hickey.
“I don’t believe this shit,” I said while rubbing it. “Now I know she’s crazy!”
I tiptoed down the long narrow hallway in my boxers, hoping to find my clothes and get out before Olivia woke up. The floor was covered with moving boxes and wrapping paper, and I saw a piano covered with a drop cloth. I figured Olivia’s girl-
friend must have moved in recently, because hardly anything was unpacked.
I continued down the hallway until I came to the master bedroom. The door was slightly open. I peeked inside to make sure Olivia was still asleep. To my surprise she wasn’t there, but I did spot my cell phone on her nightstand. I quickly grabbed it and headed for the front door.
Just when I thought I was home free, I heard what sounded like a woman singing. It was coming from the room adjacent to the foyer. I crept up and peered inside to see who it was. It was Olivia. She was sitting naked on a stool with her back to the door. I noticed her hand moving in a stroking motion. As I leaned in further, I saw that she was painting on a canvas. From what I could see, it was a picture of a little girl holding hands with her mother. It was very detailed—down to the yellow barrettes in the girl’s hair.
As I glanced around the room, I realized that it had been converted to an art gallery. Colorful paintings covered the walls from top to bottom. There were abstracts, portraits, and even a couple of expensive-looking sculptures. As I continued to admire the paintings they took on a more disturbing tone, especially the ones in the corner. There was a painting of a man’s tongue with a bullet hole in it. There was another with a penis being nailed to a crucifix. The testicles, which had fallen to the ground, were being eaten by jackals. Right next to it was a bloody painting of a man hanging upside down with his heart being ripped from his chest and tossed into hell.
Suddenly my cell phone started to vibrate. Olivia stopped singing and turned around. I jerked my head back and prayed that she hadn’t heard me. “Julian, is that you?”
I waited for a few seconds to see if she would come out, but she didn’t. When she began singing again, I looked around the corner to see if her back was still turned. When I saw that it was, I crawled on my knees until I was past the door. Once I was clear, I quietly walked toward the door. I was about to go outside with nothing on except my drawers when I spotted my clothes on the kitchen counter. I rushed over and started getting dressed as fast as I could. While I was slipping on my shoes, I lost my balance and grabbed the kitchen counter to break my fall, accidentally knocking over a stack of mail. Olivia was still singing, so I was sure she didn’t hear me.
The first two letters I picked up were an electric bill and a bright yellow envelope with a clover symbol on it. When I looked closely at the name on the electric bill I was horrified. The type in the address window read:
Olivia R. Brown
244 Jefferson Parkway
Houston, Texas 77000
“Oh my God, this is her house!” I quickly slipped on my shoes and headed for the door. Just as I grabbed the knob, Olivia walked out of the room.
“You’re not leaving without saying good-bye, are you?”
She was naked and holding a palette and brush. A few drops of red paint fell off the brush and onto the carpet.
“I was just goin’ outside to see what’s happening with my car.”
“Stop worrying about that stupid car and sit down. I’ve got something to show you!” She ran past me into the kitchen and pulled something out of the top cabinet. “Remember that surprise I told you about last night? Well, here it is!”
She stuffed a small jewelry box into my pants pocket. “Promise me you won’t open it until you get home.”
“What’s the special occasion?”
“It’s our four-week anniversary, silly!”
“Olivia, I can’t accept this.”
“Julian, I don’t take rejection well.” She grabbed my hand before I could take the box out my pocket. “Please take it. I insist!”
There was a large box cutter on the table next to her, and I didn’t want her to get any crazy ideas. I figured the fastest and safest way to get out of there was to go along with her little presentation.
“Fine, Olivia.” I pushed it back into my pants. “Now I’ve got to get going.”
“Why do you have to leave all of a sudden? Can we at least go out for breakfast?”
“The only place I’m goin’ is home!” I told her. “I’ve been out all night and I have to pick up my daughter from the babysitter’s.”
“That’s perfect! I’ll get dressed and go with you. I’ve been dying to meet her!” She rushed toward her bedroom, leaving a trail of paint. “It’ll only take me a couple of minutes.”
“Olivia, stop it! Just stop it!” I yelled. “You’re not going anywhere, especially not to meet my daughter! Now, I’ve tried to be polite because I know you mean well, but this shit has got to stop!”
She walked toward me slowly with a deranged expression on her face.
“So, I’m not good enough to meet your nappy-headed child, huh?”
“What did you say?”
“You heard what I said, you arrogant bastard. I’m not good enough to meet your precious little princess, but I am good enough to suck your dick?” She was waving her brush violently. Red paint splattered onto the carpet and her face. She was so enraged she didn’t even flinch.
“Look, Olivia, we had an understanding. No expectations— remember?”
“That was your understanding, not mine!” She began to cry. “When a woman allows you inside of her, she’s emotionally involved, damnit! You of all people should know that—Mr. Relationship Expert!”
“Olivia, this conversation is over. Good-bye! And don’t ever call me again.” I headed for the door.
“Don’t turn your back on me, you son of a bitch!”
She picked up the box cutter and threw it at me with all her might. I shielded myself with the door just as the blade embedded itself in the oak frame.
“You could have killed me, you crazy bitch!”
“If I wanted to kill you, you’d already be dead!”
“You need help, Olivia,” I said as I walked out the door. “And I mean professional help.”
“You think you’re God’s gift to women but you’re nothing but a conniving dog, just like all the other men in my life. But every dog has its day—and your day is comin’!” Then she slammed the door shut.
As I walked down the driveway, my hands began to tremble. I covered them with my jacket as I approached the tow-truck driver. He was sitting on the trunk of my car filling out paperwork and listening to country music. When he saw me coming he stood up and handed me a clipboard.
“Here, sign on the dotted line,” he said with a strong Texas accent.
I wrote my name as fast as I could to conceal the shaking.
“So, what was wrong with the tire? Was it a slow leak?”
“A slow leak?” he laughed. “Down here in Texas we call that a fast leak.” He opened the trunk, where he had put the tire. There were jagged slash marks on the side, mostly near the rim. “I know this is none of my business, but if I were you, young fella, I’d get as far away from that gal as possible.”
He climbed into his truck and turned up the volume on his radio.
“Have a nice day!” He smiled. Then he sped off.
I closed the trunk and got into my car. I struggled to put the key in the ignition, because my hand was still shaking. As I was about to drive off, I noticed something stabbing me in the right side. It was the jewelry box Olivia had given me. I pulled it out of my pocket and opened it. Inside was a Rolex watch and a piece of paper that read:
Here’s the watch that you never could afford when you were struggling to make it. I hope you’ll always think of me each time you wear it.
Love,
Olivia Brown
—a.k.a. Sharon
It all began to make sense. Olivia was the woman who called in during my last show in Chicago. When I thought back on it, I never did disconnect her line before reading my poetry. Olivia was listening the whole time Mitch and I were talking. That’s how she knew I would be at Club Nimbus.
I tossed the watch onto the lawn and burned rubber out of her driveway. As I sped off down the street, I saw my pathetic reflection in the rearview mirror.
“Damnit, Julian! What the h
ell have you gotten yourself into?”
Part IV: (October)
Chapter 25
THE DOOR SLAMMED as Samantha left for school. I watched from my bedroom window as she boarded the bus. I tapped on the glass and waved good-bye, but she didn’t wave back. It had been five days since the incident with Terri in the kitchen, and she still wasn’t speaking to me. Every time I asked her a question she answered me casually with yes sir or no sir. Her attitude had begun to affect her conduct at school as well. Her homeroom teacher said that she hadn’t turned in a homework assignment all week. I decided to give her another week to get over it before I put my foot down.
After the bus pulled off I slipped into my gym shoes and prepared to get some exercise to relieve the stress. I had converted the spare bedroom into a mini gym, complete with a treadmill and universal weight machine. I set the treadmill to seven miles per hour and began jogging. Just as I was working up a good sweat, the phone rang.
“Hello?” I sounded irritated.
“Well, excuse the hell outta me! Maybe I should call back when you’re in a better mood.”
It was Denise. She never called me so early in the morning. I knew something had to be up.
“Sorry about that, Li’l Sis. I didn’t know it was you. Whassup?”
“Oh, nothing. I just thought I would call to see how things were working out.”
“Everything is fine. The show is doing great, the house is nearly furnished, Samantha is adjusting to her new school, and, believe it or not, I’m dating again.”
“So I’ve heard. Eddie told me about your sexy doctor friend. She sounds like a real keeper.”
“I’m not going to pop the question anytime soon, but she’s definitely special. Now that we’ve gotten the formalities out of the way, you wanna tell me why you really called?”
“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”
“Denise, I’ve been knowing you for three years and you never call me this early in the morning unless something’s wrong.”
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