TheHealers

by Lynsie Buchanan

  “Leo, this is my neighbor Alexander.” I stepped aside so they could shake hands. At least that was my intent, but my legs were so wobbly from my nerves right now that I started to go down. Alexander immediately caught me. His reflexes were incredible.

  “Alexander came over to help after the break in.” My words fumbled trying to say something pertinent.

  “Well, I can take over now. Thanks for your help,” Leo’s voice boomed. Or maybe that was just my heart. I didn’t want Alexander to go.

  “Nice to meet you, Leo, and let me know if you need any more help, Layna.” Alexander respectfully stepped out of the house. As Leo shut the door, my heart crushed.

  Leo’s eyes were wide with amazement, but no words came out of his mouth. I think he was in shock. His eyes followed me to the couch and then he decided to sit down with me. The tears just started to spill out of my eyes. There was a name for this kind of reaction, wasn’t there? Post traumatic stress disorder? His arms folded around me and his voice reassured me.

  “Everything will be fine. You can’t stay here with your window like that. Why don’t we pack up some stuff, and you can stay at my house.” The warmth and comfort in his eyes and arms was nice, but it wasn’t enough. I couldn’t placate myself back into that former personality mold at the moment. Maybe, not ever. Nothing would feel the same after Alexander.

  Worry crossed his face. He spoke, “You’ll have my house to yourself. I have to get back out to the spill.”

  Excited to think about something else for a moment, I began to question him. “What’s happening? Is the spill worse? Did someone get hurt?”

  “Something’s not right and I need more time to figure it out. I’m just back for the day to see you, but then I’ve got to go.” Worry lines creased his face, but then his ocean eyes looked up again with a strong will in them, almost as though he realized that whatever it was would have to be done. “Are you going to tell me what happened?”

  I felt like I might just die right there. This nice man had wanted to take care of me and I had slapped him in the face with another man. What could I say?

  I started at the beginning and filled him in on the events of the night. I gave him almost all the details. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him everything. I didn’t know what it all meant, and I felt like I needed some time to think about it.

  Leo convinced me that I needed to stay with him for awhile. He wasn’t even going to be there. I actually agreed because of that. I don’t know if I could have done it if we were going to stay together. Guilt suffocated me at that moment.

  I went into my room to pack some things while Leo was on the phone dealing with work. I was preoccupied in my closet but every so often I could have sworn I heard foul language coming out of his mouth. Looking through my closet, I found it difficult to find even one thing I liked. An outfit slowly started to assemble in my mind. I went to grab the black pant suit when I realized tomorrow was Saturday. I opted for a velour jumpsuit instead. It was a dark shade of teal and it was one of my most favorite mopey outfits. I started to move to my bathroom to gather all my toiletries when Leo came to check on me.

  “I wish I could stay with you.” His arms snuggled around me.

  “Me, too.” I worked to put a hopeful sound in my voice instead of all the turmoil that twisted through my head.

  I continued to gather my things from the bathroom when I remembered I should be at work today. There was no way that would happen so I needed to call Peter. A quick check of the time on my cell phone let me know that it was still early enough to start to cancel. My fingers touched over the contacts page until I found him then hit the dial button.

  “Hello,” a slightly groggy voice answered.

  “Hi, Peter, its Layna.”

  “I know. I have caller id.” I laughed at his sarcasm.

  “I don’t have time to be cute, just to let you know I need my appointments canceled for today.” I started to wonder why I couldn’t go to work. Maybe I should just go. It would probably keep my mind off of everything else. Then I remembered I would have to get the window fixed and have the mess cleaned up. Yeah, it would be better to stay home and get that done today.

  “Is everything alright? Are you sick?” The worry in his voice was sweet. It was nice to know he was concerned.

  “No, I’m not sick and no, everything is not alright. My house got broken into last night and I have a mess to deal with today.” The annoyance seemed to help cover up the fear.

  “I’ll take care of it right now. What about… oh never mind. You have the convention next week so you don’t have any appointments.” I could hear him type away on his laptop and then he stopped.

  “Is there anything else? If you need some help at all just let me know.”

  “Thanks, but I think it’s all taken care of.” Way too much male help as it was. It could be dangerous to involve any more testosterone. A small chuckle escaped and I tried to cough to cover it up.

  Leo came to help me with my bag and we started to leave. As we walked out the door I felt the sun just start to peek in the sky. A small yawn escaped my lips as I recalled the early start to my day. Leo and I cut across the grass to the driveway on the right side of my house. One of my hands was clutching my overnight bag and the other gripped my purse. A flash of red caught my attention and I looked up to see Alexander’s driveway. As we got closer to Leo’s car I was able to see a person at his door. And it was a female. Wow… he was fast. The anger boiled over my emotions before I even realized it. His door opened and our eyes locked while this woman walked in. All I was able to notice were her dark brown wavy locks. I turned my head back to look at Alexander again and I wrapped my fingers around Leo’s hands with a smug look on my face. Why would I care what he did? I was in a relationship, right? My head was so jumbled I thought I might pass out.

  Chapter Eleven

  We pulled into the long driveway at Leo’s house and my phone started ringing. I saw it was Cameron and answered it.

  “Hello.” My voice was slightly off. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to share what happened last night. Not the part about Alexander, but the part about the window. Maybe I might share a little about Alexander. Just to say what a pig he was. He completely came on to me and took advantage of my weakened state. Well, I came on to him a little. Still, really, it was all his doing. Pig. My thoughts completely halted when I heard Cameron’s panicked voice on the phone.

  “Layna!” I could hear the sobbing and desperation in her voice. I thought I could feel it, too.

  “Something is wrong,” sobbing “with the baby…” her tearful voice completely erupted into unintelligible sounds, but the pain was slicing my heart.

  “Are you at home?” I jumped out of the passenger side of Leo’s car and grabbed his keys.

  “Yes.”

  “I’m coming right now. Don’t move.” My gaze darted over to Leo, filled with concern and worry.

  “Just go.” Soft words. “Call me when you can.”

  I leaned in to give him a quick hug and jumped back into his car. Cameron’s house wasn’t far but I still was in a rush. It was probably not an emergency. She had called me first instead of rushing to the hospital. I could probably just calm her down. I remembered a little about typical things that happen during early pregnancies from medical school. I was thankful that Leo gave his car over to me so quickly, but even more thankful that he had a work truck so I didn’t have to worry about him being stuck.

  My mind started to play different scenarios about what could be wrong with Cameron and what we would do to fix it. It sort of reminded me of what I used to do in medical school. She was probably just bleeding. That could be a normal thing or not. It just depended on how bad it was. Why hadn’t I asked her any questions on the phone? Then maybe I could have been better prepared when I arrived. I was sure she just needed me to be there. Everything was going to be fine. As soon as I thought the word “fine” I knew something was wrong. We have an acronym for “fine” in my
field—fucked up, insecure, neurotic, and emotional. Think about it…if you tell someone that something is fine, what are you really saying?

  The large oak trees passed by in my peripheral vision as I realized my turn was up ahead. Just from a glance out the window you would never guess it was winter. Only a small number of trees had shed their leaves. Everything else was alive. Winter in the south is the opposite of that particular season in the north.

  I sped up to the light quickly only to be deterred by a change of color. Red. My mind continued to be in a haze as I waited for the green light. I thought about Alexander again. Funny, at this distance I was a little more rational. I just went through the classic symptoms of people that experience trauma. He was there, and very masculine, ready to save me. No matter how much I claimed to be independent, I knew there was a reason we needed men. They would always be protectors. Something in our female genetic makeup would always know that. And, therefore, feel a false sense of security, and that had driven me to feel emotions that weren’t real. Maybe the magic had just been mine. The crazy emotional turmoil I felt around him could have elicited those responses. Lost in thought, I heard someone behind me start to honk. Great. I turned left into Cameron’s neighborhood. Before I knew it, I pulled into the curved driveway in front of her red brick house. A lot of homes in the south are covered in brick. I think it’s cheaper to acquire brick here, or maybe the houses are newer. The greenery spread all over her front yard to show off the hard work she and Jeff had put into the yard.

  As soon as I put the car in park, I jumped out, barely remembering to grab the keys. I found my hands on the brass knob on the wooden door. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

  “Cam? Where are you, sweetie?” I stepped into the house further and heard her sobs. She was upstairs, probably in her bedroom. I knew no one else was here so I jumped up the stairs on my right, taking several steps at a time. I followed the sound of her tears and yet at the same time I knew where she was. I could feel the pain and turmoil going on within her.

  Running through her bedroom and into the master bathroom, I found her on the floor huddled up in a corner by the vanity area.

  There was blood. A lot.

  “It’s going to be okay.” My first words to her as I reached out and grabbed her into my arms.

  “I’m losing the baby,” her soft voice said. It was just fact. She sounded resolute but in no way alright.

  Then, I started to feel her pain again. It curled through my mind like a disease. It was much stronger. My mind started to go blank with the shock of what my body felt. I wanted it to stop. I pulled away from Cameron and brought my hands up to my own head.

  Hell no. Make it go away.

  Nervous adrenaline took over. I finally really looked at her. The mess of auburn curls were scattered all over her face, but I could still see those icy blue eyes peeking through. She seemed to be suddenly aware of my chaotic state, but still too deep in her pain to make a comment. The metallic smell of her blood started to throw me more over the edge. Before my body could erupt into convulsions, I reached my hands out to touch her stomach. The source of the pain.

  Her eyes widened and looked down to see what was happening.

  I looked down to see what was happening, too.

  Unable to see anything physical, I could feel the pain draining out of my mind. As I looked into Cameron’s eyes, it appeared to be leaving her as well. The stress wrinkles in her face started to ease as did her body. The tension slowly left the rest of her body. My eyes continued to watch my hands that were locked on the skin over her stomach. I could feel them a little, the tingle. The eruption in my head had finally left. Now the tingle slowed to a dull. I brought my arms around her again and just held her and prayed.

  Dear God, What is wrong with me? What am I?

  Trapped words found their way out of Cameron’s mouth, “You saved my baby?” There was an intonation on the end of her comment that sounded like a question. It matched the inquiring look in her eyes. They were filled with calm, but still unsure.

  “I’m not sure what I did.” The words just fell out of my mouth.

  We both just sat there in silence. And then joy started to overcome both of our hearts as we realized that the baby was okay. The bleeding stopped.

  “I’m still taking you to the hospital. I want to make sure everything is right.” The fear and command in my voice stilled her.

  “I’ll do whatever you say, Layna.”

  “Let’s call Jeff and tell him you had some pain. I came over and offered to take you for a checkup, since I have some privileges at the hospital.” I pulled open the cabinets to look for cleaner to get the stains up off of the tile. My body was hunched over scrubbing while I heard Cameron on the phone. Her voice quivered but she was able to convince him everything was fine and we would call if it was serious.

  “You don’t have to do that,” Cameron’s voice whispered from behind me.

  “I don’t want Jeff to be freaked out when he gets home and I don’t mind.” I looked in her eyes and saw the questions start to brew. The real problem was, what would I say?

  We both continued to spot clean the bathroom until the previous medical emergency was not at all visible. At least to our eyes. Cameron cleaned herself up and we put the clothes she had on in a garbage bag to dispose of at the hospital.

  I drove us in Leo’s car, since it blocked the driveway due to the haphazard state I was in when I drove up. Cameron had dressed in a long sleeve black cotton dress. This would keep her comfortable and allow for an easy examination.

  We pulled into the parking lot of the hospital about thirty minutes later and found a parking spot near the back. Apparently, hospitals are crowded on Fridays.

  We walked in through the sliding glass doors and I barely caught glimpses of the patients that came out. I did, however, notice the new mommy coming out in the wheelchair. Her baby was wrapped in a sweet baby blanket bundle. A man appeared close by her that was probably the father. The creases in his and the mother’s cheeks were almost painful to witness. They were starting their own little family. My heart stretched out with an ache to feel that love. Something so simple, yet so often abused and taken for granted. A family. I wondered if my heart was even capable of having that kind of love. Did I even deserve it? Even though I knew better a small—maybe a little bigger than small—part of my heart knew that there was something wrong with me. That was why my parents had left me. Every part of my mind knew better and had worked with people on many occasions that felt the same way. But that big fat organ in my chest that pumped blood wildly felt different.

  I walked Cameron to a seat and went to the desk to check her in as my patient, but I explained we needed some assistance from the women’s center. I pulled out my badge to confirm my access. We waited while they worked us into the schedule. At least that’s what I thought was going on, but I started to get suspicious when it became obvious they whispered and did not move fast enough.

  “Is there a problem?” The authoritative sound just started to peek out of my voice.

  “We’re just checking your credentials. I’ll let you know as soon as everything is cleared.” The snippy tone in her voice led me to believe that she was the desk shark of this hospital. Cameron and I stepped off to the side a little to allow others to check in, but I kept a sharp eye on what was going on at the desk.

  After close to fifteen minutes of our being ignored, the elevator next to the check in desk opened. Dark green eyes gazed at me before he stepped over to the desk to talk to the bitchy lady. It was Nicholas Carnegie. He was my doctor. Dr. Carnegie stepped over to take us onto the elevator with him. As soon as the doors closed, I met his stare. Whatever was going on, we would talk about it after Cameron was tended to.

  I waited outside of the room while Cameron was checked on. He took her into a triage room, since all of the other rooms were filled. I wasn’t nervous for Cameron and the baby. I just felt certain that they would be okay. I, on the other hand,
ached with need. Starved for Alexander. Where in the hell had that come from? Maybe I had started to sense it a little when he first left my house. But then it had turned into anger when I saw the extremely gorgeous woman on his doorstep.

  A rumble sound began to create friction in my purse. Funny, it was just my phone.

  I picked it up to see the text message indicator on. I clicked it and read the message from Leo. He was checking to see what happened with Cameron and he wanted to tell me he left again to head back to the spill site. More complications. I moved my fingers quickly over the key pad to tell him that all was well and I would be done shortly. I also mentioned I was sorry and that I missed him. Sort of true.

  The sound of the door brought my eyes back to attention. Dr. Carnegie walked out. He stepped methodically across the hallway to sit with me in the outside chairs.

  His words started to fill my ears, “Your friend and her baby are doing well. It looks like the fetus started to try and separate from the uterus wall, but then it seems to have patched itself back up.” Those green eyes questioned me.

  “What happened downstairs?” The nervous words slipped out of my mouth.

  “I’m not sure,” he replied.

  “You don’t have to lie. I want to know why the hell I couldn’t admit a patient?” The words came out angry, but I could see in his face he knew the retaliation was not directed at him.

  “It looks like someone tried to block you from the hospital. From what I was able to gather, there are complaints tying up your certification.” Honest words, without judgment.

  The panic started to attack my body slowly. Maybe it was fast. I felt numb. Then, out of the corner of my eyes I could have sworn I saw a very smug Calvin Bennett getting on an elevator. It was so fast. I could have hallucinated. Then the depletion hit my body. The healing I had done on Cameron could have induced this, I just wasn’t sure.