“Why would Derek lie to me?”
“To throw me off.” He moved like a caged animal, in constant motion, unable to escape the ugly truth no matter where he turned.
“I don’t think he expected me to get out of there to tell you anything.” I ached for Julian because I could do nothing to ease the hurt. Either way, he’d lost someone he loved and trusted. Did it matter now why she was dead? I wanted to let it go, but I couldn’t. We had to plan our next move, and we had to do it informed.
“She died because they wanted to hurt me.”
I bounced off the bed and faced off with him.
He turned but refused to meet my gaze.
“Listen to me. This. Is. Not. Your. Fault. This is about me. Derek’s Cabal wants me as a weapon. The Grigori wants me in their collective. The Cloak wants me for God knows what. Monique is dead because she got herself tangled up with the Cabal and they used her to get to me.” I took a deep, steadying breath. “There’s not a damned thing you could have done about it. This is not your fault. It’s mine.”
Julian shot me a cutting glare, which I absorbed because I knew it was out of pain. I took his hands. He squeezed mine back lightly, reassuring despite the aggression contorting his face.
“Jules,” I said carefully, “does it make things fit — Monique being an informant? Does it work with what you’ve figured out so far?”
He let go of me and collapsed into the nearest chair, burying his face in his hands. “There has to be another explanation.”
“Sometimes the simplest explanation is the right one.”
“Derek has so many reasons to lie. He’s a crazy zealot.”
“I know.” I eased next to him. “But Ian designed the inhibitors. My collar was a prototype — the only one in existence. How else could Derek have gotten it?”
“Stolen,” he offered weakly.
I sighed. Was it possible? I supposed. My timeline was all screwed up. “How long would it take me to heal a gunshot wound to the forehead, at point-blank range?”
His head snapped up. “That bastard shot you?”
I waved away his concern. “How long?”
He threw himself back into the chair. “You? Two days, with constant infusions.” A bitter frown twisted his mouth, as if he’d finally figured out where I was going.
“And without them?”
He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me a step closer. “Four. Maybe longer. You don’t know? You were missing for a week.” He shook his head and buried his face in my side.
I stroked his back. “It’s still okay for it to hurt. I know you cared about her.”
Julian sighed and looked up at me, eyes filled with so much misery. “I…did care. I do care.”
His brow crinkled. For a moment, he looked utterly lost. I traced my finger along the arch of shiny flesh on his cheek. He pulled me down into his lap, rubbed his thumbs over my forehead, and kissed me there. “I’m sorry for what he did to you. I’ll make him pay, I promise.”
“It doesn’t matter.” I tucked my head under his chin. “I’m here now.”
He kissed me long and slow and meaningful. An intoxicating feeling, to be not only wanted, but needed in that moment. Julian kissed me like he needed me to survive, like I was the most precious thing on earth, the only thing that mattered. I wanted to slide into his skin and wrap myself around him, to soothe all the hurt I knew he harbored and wouldn’t let himself show. To protect him, and to feel safe. It would be so easy to lose ourselves, to let the world fade to a faint din, to drown in that new undercurrent of wanting and needing. So easy to forget everything else.
Knock, knock.
Julian and I both stared at the door as it opened and Carl’s blond head appeared from behind it.
“Ummm…we have company.” His voice was threaded with anxiety.
Julian shot up so fast I nearly fell to the floor. He lunged for his jacket on the other side of the bed and strode towards the door, gun in hand.
I barely had time to grasp what was going on, but my body was already in motion. I reached the door a step behind him, not sure whether I was going to stop him or help.
Julian took two steps into the small sitting room and froze.
I slammed into his back, righted myself, and took a sideways step to follow his gaze across the room.
I already knew who I’d find before my rudimentary senses confirmed it.
“Hello, Julian.” My foxy Mirage Agent smirked at my Undead Knight. “It’s been a while.”
Perfect.
Julian lifted his gun and pointed it squarely at Esmond’s face.
Esmond leaned to one side a few inches and slipped me a smug grin. “Hello, Alex darling. That robe is quite fetching.”
The gun in Julian’s hand made a menacing click, and I sprang into action.
“Hold it.” I stepped between them and pushed Julian’s arm down. He kept his eyes fixed on the other man, his jaw clenched tight. “Nobody is killing anyone!”
Julian cast me an irritated glance then stared at Esmond, his gaze seething with everything he had been holding inside, ready to break loose. “He’s a Grigori, Alex!”
“So am I,” I said, my voice laced with warning.
Julian stood ramrod straight at my answer, his expression stony. I turned a glare on Esmond, who bowed his head, covering a smile. Carl hovered at the edge of the room, looking like he hadn’t yet decided what he should, or could do.
“Esmond, sit down,” I said in a gracious but curt tone that I’d heard my mother use many times with difficult patients.
“How do you know him?” Julian asked, his expression pinched.
“When I ran, before Derek caught me, Esmond found me first. I was…going to go with him.” Simple, honest.
I thought you had betrayed me.
“Go with him where?” Julian’s voice was thin with disbelief.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged. I hadn’t cared, then.
I’m sorry.
Julian’s face shifted as the knowledge sank in, from confusion to simmering reproach. My chest tightened, and I wondered if this might change things for us. But it was the truth. I wasn’t going to lie. He said he wanted me, that I was his. That meant he would take it all. Even my mistakes.
“He isn’t going to do anything to us, are you?” I turned back to the Mirage Agent.
Esmond reclined on the sofa, his long arms stretched along the back, legs crossed, and foot bouncing as if he were bored. “I’m not here to cause trouble.”
“You bit him,” Carl said from behind me, sounding outraged.
Son of a bitch.
I caught a glimpse of Esmond’s pink bite marks, poorly hidden by his stiffly-starched shirt, and sighed. Julian stared at me, eyes practically bulging, searching for the truth on my face. I gave him a helpless look. “It just happened. I was defending myself.”
Please don’t change your mind.
Julian shook his head on a sigh and looked away.
What could I say? Even if he hated the idea, it was already done. I’d done what I had to to survive. Looking at him, already hurting and now stunned, I wished I could take it back.
I’m already screwing it up.
“What do you want?” I snapped at Esmond. “And by the way — how is it you’re still alive?” My mind shifted back to business as I recalled that the last time I’d seen his beautiful face, he’d been bloodied and unconscious. Derek’s gang didn’t strike me as the merciful kind.
Esmond dropped his smile. “Right. Sorry about that, darling. I didn’t mean to leave you high and dry, but I hadn’t expected so many of them.”
I started to ask what the hell he was talking about, because he hadn’t gotten away, but Julian cut over me.
“That’s your M.O. isn’t it?” He took a threatening stance at my side. “He always leaves someone else to take the fall, even though he’s been involved in every large-scale raid campaign in the last five years.”
Esmond blinked up at Ju
lian, feigning a flattered smile. “I’m built for espionage, not brutality.”
“Why did you bite him?” Carl asked, ever single-minded.
“Yes, Alex darling, why did you bite me?” Esmond chimed in.
The tension in the room spiked.
I groaned in frustration and plopped myself down in the chair across from our pain-in-the-ass guest. “First off, call me darling one more time, and I’ll send you hurtling out that window. Second, I told you, I was defending myself. Can we all get back on topic here? Let’s find out why he’s here.”
I looked first at Carl, then at Julian, thinking come on guys. Carl nodded and leaned on the arm of my chair, crossing his arms over his chest and fixing Esmond with a wary look. Julian mimicked Carl on my other side.
“I’ve come to make good on our agreement, to take you home. Or have you forgotten?”
“Cut the crap, Esmond. Our agreement was over the minute you let Derek and his goons lay their hands on me.” I raised an eyebrow at the Mirage Agent and saw his cocky façade start to peel at the edges.
Esmond cleared his throat. “I’m not your enemy, Alex.”
“That remains to be seen.”
“You could see for yourself, if you’d only look,” he chided.
Julian and Carl both looked down at me expectantly.
I shook my head. “No, you’ve already proven you can fool my psychic abilities.”
“Very well then. What shall I do to prove my intentions are honorable?”
“Leave,” Julian grunted.
“You’re not helping,” I said.
He looked away from me, shaking his head.
Esmond kept his glass green gaze intently fixed on me, his aura a calm, peaceful grey, tinged with violet. The violet made me blush, though I wasn’t exactly sure why. His bow-shaped lips curled into a knowing smile, and I looked away. I would not get sucked in by his charm.
What could he do to prove his intentions? It didn’t matter. I wasn’t going with him now. I had Julian. And Carl. I shook my head. “Why is it so important I go with you? Tell me what the Grigori wants me for.”
He blinked, seeming surprised by the question. “The Grigori embraces every consciousness connected to us.”
“They also kill Undead on sight,” I countered.
“Your situation is…unique.”
No shit. I was getting really sick of people pointing that out to me.
“So, why do they want me alive?”
“He’s not going to tell you,” Julian said.
Esmond ignored the interruption. “I can tell you what I know, and that is that you have come into your powers late and unprepared. Being an Undead further complicates things. You’re a danger to yourself and to others until you learn to control your strength. The Grigori cannot afford to let you run rampant. You are a liability. We are the only ones who can train you.”
You mean control me.
I swallowed, and Julian and Carl both stilled, as if Esmond’s words were hitting them with a delay.
“Can’t we just do the distance learning thing?” I swirled my hand in the air beside my head in a vague gesture of the collective.
“Not for everything. There is no guarantee you can be reached at a distance. Even over the last few days you’ve become harder and harder to track as your powers settled.”
Julian and I shot each other a quick look, and I knew we had the exact same thought. That was good news. “If I’m such a threat, why aren’t you just taking me by force?”
Esmond glared at Julian beside me, and the Knight straightened. “Yes, well, we tried that, didn’t we? With the company you keep, that method would prove very costly to us. So, they sent me. To reason with you.”
“Is that what they call what you do?” I asked. “I call it conniving.”
“Touché. But I would also add that the Grigori sees the benefit of having you as a potential ally, so they will no longer try to force you into the fold.”
“They want me to come willingly?” I clarified, raising one eyebrow.
He nodded.
Carl snorted. “You don’t really believe this guy, do you?”
I didn’t look at Carl, though he was putting voice to the doubts in my head. Instead, I stared at Esmond and started to piece together the larger puzzle. I was an accident, but not necessarily a problem — or rather, I wasn’t a problem for whoever’s side I chose. That’s what it all came down to. Politics. The Cabal, the Grigori, the Cloak.
They all wanted me for their own selfish reasons, but for the same reason: I was a weapon.
For the time being, that gave me some leverage. Esmond had been sent to scout me. I liked his methods better than Derek’s. I can work with this.
“Yes. I believe him.”
Carl gaped at me. Julian paced behind me. Esmond leaned back, the picture of ease. Put a martini in his hand and he could be on the cover of GQ.
“What have you been authorized to offer?” I tried to sound like negotiations about my future affiliations were as routine as college interviews.
Esmond arched one sable brow, his lips curling. “My protection, if necessary.”
“What does that entail?” Based off the last time we’d run into trouble, I wasn’t sure it was worth much.
Julian stepped closer to me, seeming to take up more than just physical space.
Esmond watched him with an appreciative wariness, but when I didn’t budge, his gaze fell to me again. His mind brushed against mine, searching for an inroad to my thoughts, but backed off when I gave him a mental back off! shove.
“I have a squad of four Agents at my disposal.”
“Is that a lot?”
Carl let out a bark of laughter, which actually made Esmond jolt. “It’s enough to do a whole lot of damage,” my psychic-educated blood donor assured me.
“What would you want in return for your help if I happened to go somewhere dangerous and you had to come along and ‘protect’ me?” I studied Esmond as I asked. For a fleeting second, before he could hide it behind his polished mask, I saw a flicker of satisfaction.
He regarded me, half-interested, which I knew was an act. “For you to accompany me to the Grigori Council, as we agreed. Hear them out.”
“That’s all?”
He bowed his head in assent, or maybe to hide his self-assured grin.
“Excuse us,” Julian said through gritted teeth. He lifted me out of the chair and yanked me to the corner of the room, my arm caught in his iron grip. “What the hell are you doing?”
I gazed up at my frustrated Undead Knight — the largest hurdle in the plan I was hatching. “Jules, the Cloak still has Andreas. They’ll hurt him to get to us. Derek as much as told me so. We have to bust him out.”
His gaze darted over my face as the words soaked in. He shook his head. “It’s too dangerous.”
“He’s your Sponsor,” I said, “and your friend.”
“So it’s my problem. I’ll take care of it.”
“Alone?” I asked, disbelieving. Always the hero.
He nodded and let go of my arm. His next words were thick with emotion, slow, and careful. “I can’t risk losing you again. I don’t think I could take it. Especially now.”
“No way.” I forgot to keep my voice low. Esmond and Carl both looked over at us, dropping all pretense of not eavesdropping. “You’ve already lost too much because of me — your job, your house, Monique. I won’t cost you Andreas too. We both know if you go alone, you’ll get caught or worse. I’m going with you.”
“Alex.” Julian sighed, his expression tired. “I’m a warrior. You are—”
“A Force Agent.” I held my head high. “With five other Agents for backup. What have you got?”
He paused, just for an instant, and I thought I was wearing him down. His brow furrowed. “We can’t trust them to help us.”
I suppressed a smile. Us. I was wearing him down. “Jules, what choice do we have? We have to move fast if we want to save him. You said
yourself the Cabal has connections to the Cloak, high up. Derek gloated about it.”
“It might be too late already.”
“So you wanna just give up?” I frowned.
He gave me a tortured look.
“I know I’ve screwed things up pretty bad. But you can’t fix them alone. Please, let me help. Just…trust me on this?”
He sighed and looked away. “I trust you Alex. I don’t trust them.”
“I’m one of them, Jules.” I knew I’d thrown my last ace, but I held firm.
Julian sighed and turned away from me, either in defeat or disgust. Probably both.
Carl stood up. “I’m coming too.”
Julian threw his hands up in the air, shooting me an accusatory glare as if to say “see what you’ve started?” I shrugged. Him going alone was just a suicide mission. As far as I was concerned, the more help, the better. I walked back to the chair, ignoring Esmond’s cocky smile.
“All settled?” he drawled, straightening his cuffs.
I glanced at Julian over my shoulder. He stood on the far side of the room, leaning on the bar, his back to me. I hoped I wasn’t pushing him too far. And I hoped I could trust my gut, which told me that Esmond wouldn’t turn on me. I had a lot riding on that — more than I could be comfortable with — Andreas, Julian, me, Carl. We would all be placing ourselves in the hands of the Grigori, counting on them to help us and not throttle us. All on my word. I took a deep breath and nodded.
“Good.” Esmond settled in, looking effortlessly comfortable.
Julian stepped beside me again, faster than I could see him move. I flinched when he appeared, then gazed up at him, wanting some clue to his thoughts. His aura had turned a murky brown. I had no idea what that meant. When this was all over, I’d have to remember to ask Esmond if he had a handy manual for me to read.
“If we do this, your people follow my orders.” Julian leveled his most threatening glare on Esmond.
“They’ll follow my orders, and I will follow your lead. But if the choice comes between our mission and Alex’s safety…”
“Do what you have to,” Julian finished.
Esmond raised one eyebrow in his impression of a surprised face. It all seemed like such a performance. For all we knew, he knew what we were thinking before we did.
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