by Amber Garr
His pointy teeth and oblong head reminded me of his true nature.
“Abhainn!” I screamed underwater. We surfaced together and I immediately pushed him off of me. “What are you doing? Let me go!”
“Eviana, calm down.” He moved away from me and raised his translucent hands. “I’m here to help.”
“Help? How did you get here?” I looked around the perimeter of the pool and was delighted to see my friends and the selkies emerging from the water and changing forms.
“Let’s just say I can be very persuasive,” Abhainn continued.
“Huh?”
“Apparently nereids enjoy making bargains. It only took a few warm bodies to convince them to let me go.” His lips curved up into a sinful grin sending chills through my spine.
“I don’t want to know,” I said wholeheartedly.
“Aye, perhaps some other time then. But for now, ye need to get out of this water.”
With one powerful kick, I pushed myself onto the rocky beach and was again surprised that my legs almost instantly returned to me. It was like I just had to think change and I did. Perhaps it was because of my new position, but regardless, I was very much liking this new me.
“Mistress Dumahl?” Abhainn asked while staring at the shield still attached to my hip. He looked at me with immense curiosity.
“I’ll explain later.” Right now, I couldn’t talk about it without grieving for what I’d just lost.
“Eviana, they’re coming!” Julian yelled from the far side of the pool. I watched the water’s surface, waiting for heads to pop up but no one came.
“There,” Abhainn pointed toward the top of the waterfall with an enormous smile.
Suspicious, I followed his lead and turned my head up to the colossal rock outcropping. The water seemed to flow faster and the pounding at the bottom grew exponentially louder. But when a tidal wave came barreling over the top of the falls, I watched in fascination as the water flowed out and away from the river and defied gravity. Two, three, and then at least several more tendrils spilled from the wave and spiraled out toward us. As they came closer to the ground, I saw the outline of a horse’s head. First the snout pushed through the curvature of the wave, followed by the top of its head and then finally a neck. As the figures became more prominent, they also started to fill in.
The largest tendril produced the most beautiful black horse I had ever seen in my life. His feet were covered with long hair, making them look like massive stones. Every muscle protruded from his body, highlighting the creature’s magnificent curves. Each horse ran out of the water and onto the rocky shore, dripping and shaking while calling to one another. Aside from the black one, the rest were all pure white and by the time the wave subsided, seven horses stood in front of us.
The black one shook his long mane and reared up on his hind legs. The rest of them followed suit, leaving me in awe at their intricate dance. I turned to face Abhainn who remained floating above the water.
“What are they?” I breathed.
“Kelpies.”
“Kelpies? They’re real?” I gasped.
In response, Abhainn raised an eyebrow and gestured to the herd of horses positioned amongst my friends. Of course they were real.
“Where did they come from?”
The black one, who appeared to be their leader, walked over to me. He was at least eight feet tall and I couldn’t resist the urge to brush my fingers over his snout. Lowering his head with permission, I rubbed the long lines of his face. The fur reminded me of Brendan’s seal skin sending a familiar calm throughout my body. His dark black eyes moved back and forth, keeping watch both over me and his herd.
“I brought them,” Abhainn continued.
I looked at him in confusion.
“I figured that ye might need the extra legs. They will help get ye out of the forest much faster.” The horse nickered and bobbed his head up and down in agreement with that statement.
“I…I don’t know what to say.” Not only had Abhainn found a way to bargain for his own life, but he’d conjured an escape plan for us as well.
“We’ll just consider our debts even at this point.” He drifted closer toward the center of the pool and began to sink into the dark depths of the water.
“Where are you going?” I called after him. “Will I see you again?” There was a part of me that would miss this unusual water sprite.
“Aye, lassie. We will see each other again.”
And with that, he disappeared from sight. The stallion pushed his head into my shoulder, encouraging me to move. The rest of the kelpies began stomping their feet on the ground in a sign of restlessness. None of us had mounted the horses, but when mermaid heads began breaking through the water’s surface, we didn’t hesitate.
“Eviana!” screamed Lucian.
“Come on,” I yelled while reaching toward Daniel. In pairs, we all jumped on the kelpies and began riding away. Daniel and I were the last to leave the waterfall, and when I looked back at Lucian, his face twisted in rage and disgust. I knew that this wasn’t the last I’d see of him. He’d come after me and my clan with a vengeance. The only thing I could do now was get back home and prepare.
I kicked my heels into the side of the kelpie and grasp the thick black hair of his mane. Daniel’s arms wrapped so tightly around my stomach, I could barely breathe. We didn’t look back again as we galloped down the river’s edge. Each kelpie appeared to float effortlessly over the water as though they were still a part of it. We dodged around low hanging branches and jumped giant river boulders. I’d never been on a horse before, and if I hadn’t been running for my life, I might’ve had a chance to enjoy how truly magical this was.
The moonlight reflected off the water and the white kelpies making them glow. Kain and Carissa were on the horse directly beside us. She leaned against his back with her eyes closed, giving total trust to Kain and their kelpie. I remembered letting Brendan take care of me like that. But after tonight, everything was going to change. Would Brendan forgive me for taking control of him? Would my clan accept me as their new leader after everything I’d done?
I knew this was a turning point for me. Today was the day I had to grow up. No more selfishness. No more tantrums. I had to face the music, so to speak, and I have to admit I was more than a little scared.
We rode down the river for thirty minutes before the kelpies stopped. The forest began to disappear and it looked like this was as far as the water horses were willing to go to avoid being discovered. After I dismounted, Julian and Brendan made their way to my side.
“We can go to Keith’s to get some clothes,” Julian said.
“Who’s Keith?”
“One of the selkies. He lives a few miles up the road and he’s already on his way there for a car. We all need clothing.”
It was true that every single one of us was naked, leaving our belongings behind in the chaos of our escape. Hopefully, Lucian and his crew would take care of that so as to not create any suspicion about missing human swimmers.
I nodded my head in thanks and looked past him at Brendan. He smiled weakly at me and that was invitation enough. In two steps, I closed the distance between us and threw my arms around his waist. With my head buried in his chest, I began to cry. Brendan wrapped one arm around my back and the other rested on my head. He kissed the top of my hair and held me for what felt like hours.
When he gently pushed me away, I looked up into his green eyes and saw the one thing that I feared most. Doubt. Something had changed between us and I didn’t know if I’d be able to fix it.
“Brendan, I am so sorry for what I did to you,” I stammered.
He immediately looked down at the ground and let go of my arms. I noticed Daniel and Julian had left us alone. Presumably to give us some space. And although this was not really the time or the place to have that ultimate discussion, some things needed to be said right now.
Brendan sighed and ran a hand through his dark hair. I couldn’t help bu
t notice how the movement of his muscles captured the moonlight, or the way the slight stubble on his face made him look a few years older. Or the way he would no longer make eye contact with me. My heart began to break into pieces.
“Eviana,” he breathed. “I love you. I will always love you-”
“But…” I cut in with desperation.
“But things have changed. You’ve changed.”
“Brendan, no.” I took a step closer to him and attempted to reach out for his hand. He flinched and pulled away from me. A slight movement, but still there. “I can’t lose you too,” I managed to get out. “Not now. Please.”
Both of my parents were dead, I’d become a clan leader less than an hour ago, and now the only person in my life that could help me get through all of this was trying to push me away. I felt the numbness take over my legs and tried to keep myself standing.
Brendan finally looked up at me and I saw that his eyes glistened with fresh tears. “I just need some time to think,” he said.
“What is there to think about?” I shrieked. “We love each other! We’re meant to be with each other. I…I don’t understand what else there is to think about!” I wept so hard that most of the words came out muffled.
“Evs, please don’t cry,” he begged.
All I could do was huff. I turned my back to him and looked out over the waning river. What kind of reaction did he expect me to have? He wanted to “think” about our relationship, which really meant that we were on track for a breakup. And he was doing this right when I needed him most. I knew he’d be upset, but I’d hoped we could work through it.
“I won’t do it again,” I whispered.
“What?”
I twisted my head back so that I could see him. “I won’t ever control you again. I swear it!”
“Oh, Evs.” He came closer and hugged me against him tightly. “It’s not just that.” I tried to pull away to question him, but he held me still. “You’re a leader now. Everything’s going to change. Everyone around you will change. There won’t be room for me anymore.”
“How can you say that?”
“Because it’s true. You won’t be allowed to associate with me any longer.” He paused and took a deep breath. “They’ll want you to marry Kain.”
I pushed away from him so hard I stumbled to the ground. The sadness and desperation were apparent on his face and as he wiped his eyes, the words began to soak into my bones. Marry Kain? We’d already been through that.
“I will dictate who I can and cannot see.” When he just looked at me with pity, I continued. “If I truly am the new leader, I can do as I please. Besides, Kain won’t marry me anyway. I’ve already messed that up well beyond repair. I don’t know if we’ll even be able to work together. He hates me right now.”
Brendan smiled although it seemed forced. “He doesn’t hate you.” His tone sounded almost disappointed but I didn’t understand why.
“Well it doesn’t matter because I don’t want to be with him. I want to be with you.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know…”
“Brendan! I love you. I need you! Why isn’t that enough?”
The tears came back and this time my legs did give out. I collapsed to my knees, sobbing uncontrollably. My world was falling apart around me and I honestly didn’t know how I’d survive. He was my best friend. I knew his presence by my side would cause some uproar, but I didn’t care. I was in charge of one of the most powerful clans amongst our people. Soon, I’d be responsible for making all kinds of decisions, so why did this one have to be out of my control? It just wasn’t fair.
I felt Brendan’s long, lean arms pull me against him as he knelt down beside me. He rubbed his hand in circles along my back while I continued to cry, staying silent for a very long time. When he finally spoke, the last of my heart shattered in pain.
“I just need some time away from you to sort this out, okay?”
What was I supposed to say? Did I want him to leave me? Absolutely not. I couldn’t imagine my life going on without him. Did I want him to take some time? I guess if it gave me a chance to prove that we could make this work, then that was my only option. It’d be hard and painful but if it brought him back to my side where he belonged, then I was willing to give him his space.
With his impeccable timing, Julian walked through the tree line and called to us. “They’re here.”
I felt Brendan nod in acknowledgement but didn’t want to look at him right now. I just couldn’t.
We stood and joined the rest of the group without saying another word to each other. He stayed next to me, but it felt like an invisible barrier had been erected around each of us. I was heartbroken over his words, devastated that my parents were gone, and somewhat embarrassed that everyone seemed to sense what was happening with my relationship.
Daniel discretely moved to my side and squeezed my hand, nearly causing me to lose all control again. I squeezed back and looked out at the road where a large multi-passenger van had just pulled off to the side. We walked in that direction in silence. Keith, at least I think it was him, began passing out bath towels as we got closer to the van. If I was feeling anything at that moment, I would have thanked him for being considerate, but I just couldn’t muster the strength.
Since I was the last one to climb into the van, I noticed there was only one seat left. I sat down next to Kain and Carissa, giving Brendan his space in the seat behind us. Apparently, some of the selkies had either left already or walked to Keith’s initially, because there were only three of them now in the van. As we pulled away from the forest, I felt Kain’s eyes on me. I couldn’t look at him right now either, so I turned and watched the scenery out the side window.
The trees flew by and soon gave way to manicured lawns and residential buildings. I still didn’t know exactly where we were, but I really didn’t care right now. I couldn’t feel anything. Didn’t want to.
When we arrived at Keith’s house, Julian ushered us inside and kind of took charge. It was obvious to everyone that I’d mentally checked out back at the forest, and for the most part they left me alone. Dawn was rising before Julian volunteered to take the five of us back to the beach and our hotel.
We piled in the van once more, and although Brendan came along, he sat in the passenger seat which left me in the rear one. Daniel sat next to me, but I just rested my head on the back of the seat and closed my eyes. The gravity of the night’s events drowned me. I focused on my breathing which helped me swallow the tears.
Every once and a while I’d listen to the conversations between Kain and Carissa or Brendan and Julian. But if someone asked me to repeat them, I wouldn’t have been able to. Background noise. That’s all they were.
It was well after lunch before we pulled into the visitor’s center at the Bay Bridge. Surprisingly, Brendan’s car was still there and without saying a word to anyone, he jumped out of the van to drive himself to the hotel. Something about that burned in me and I was forced to lie down in the back seat so no one would see my anguish. Daniel, understanding that I wasn’t going to be good company, moved up front with Julian for the remainder of the ride. I felt exhausted, in every sense of the word.
So much of me wanted to sleep and pretend that all of this was a dream. I’d wake up with Brendan by my side in our bed at the hotel. He’d brush the hair out of my face and make fun of me for drooling in my sleep. We would pretend to fight, make up in bed, and then swim in the ocean together for the rest of the day. That was the dream I always wanted. The dream I’d left my family for. The dream I’d hurt Kain over. And now I feared it was a dream I could no longer have. I didn’t want anything else. Nothing else in this world mattered if I couldn’t have Brendan.
Nothing.
We finally made it to the hotel and I went about my tasks in a daze. Julian waited outside while Brendan and I packed up our meager belongings and set them by the door. At some point, Brendan left to check out, giving me a moment to grieve over
the loss of the life I so briefly got to enjoy.
Holding a small framed picture of the two of us at sunset, I couldn’t help but smile. I don’t think I was smiling at the memory, but was laughing at the situation. Everything I ran away from had come back to haunt me. I avoided marrying Kain, I never wanted to lead my clan, and most importantly, I never wanted to have a life that didn’t include Brendan. In just a few days, my world had disintegrated. Maybe Brendan was right. Maybe things were going to be different now.
The door to our room bounced open against the wall causing me to jump. “Sorry,” Brendan said. He saw me sitting on the edge of the bed and sat down by my side. “That was a good night.” I looked at him to see that he was referring to the picture in my hand.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Remember all of the rays we saw?” I smiled and shoved the photograph into his hand.
“You keep this. To remember.” My voice shook but I managed to go on. “You remember how great it is when we’re together. No one can ever take that away from us, Brendan. No one.”
“I’m not going back to California right now,” he suddenly blurted out.
“What?” The giant lump in my throat returned and it took everything I had to swallow it back down.
“I’m going with Julian for a while.”
I paused, trying to get a handle on my emotions. “And where is that?”
“Seattle.”
“Oh,” I whispered. Time. He needed time, I told myself. It was the only way I could get him back. “For how long?”
“I don’t know,” he said quietly.
“Oh.” He let out a breath and brushed his fingers over the photograph. “I’ll try not to be too long.”
In the most grown up thing I’d ever done in my life I said, “Take all the time you need. I’ll be here, waiting for you when you’re ready to come back.”
What I really wanted to do was kick and scream and beg for him to stay by my side. I couldn’t live without him; therefore, I didn’t care what he wanted as long as he stayed. But I had to grow up now.
He rested his hand on my thigh, sending a different kind of chill through me. “Thank you, Evs.”
With that, he stood and walked out the door, not once looking back over his shoulder.