Just the thought caused Margo’s pulse to quicken.
It had been years since she had felt this way about another human being. Gerald Mitchell elicited emotions Margo thought she had buried when she’d laid Wesley to rest nearly seventeen years ago.
She thought about what Wesley would think of her dating again after all these years. Knowing Wes, his biggest complaint would probably be that she’d never allowed him to take her to an expensive restaurant.
With three boys to raise and a house to pay for, an expensive night on the town was something they could not afford in those days. There were times Margo thought she would have to choose between paying the electric bill and putting food in her sons’ bellies.
Price was not something that concerned Gerald. With the money he pulled in as a corporate attorney, the man sitting across from her could buy this restaurant and everyone in it.
“Are you done with dinner?” Gerald asked.
“I am. It was delicious,” she said. “This restaurant is amazing. I’ve always wanted to dine here,” she said, marveling at the elegantly dressed dining room, with its impressive chandeliers and silk covered walls.
“It brings me great pleasure to show you a good time, Margo. You’re so busy making sure everyone else is okay that you don’t take time to do anything for yourself.”
Hadn’t she accused Alex of doing the very same thing?
Margo had never considered the support she provided to her family a burden. She cherished every moment she spent helping her boys, and don’t get her started on her grand child. They were what she lived for.
But what about when they were all gone?
Both Eli and Toby would be getting married soon, and Jasmine was becoming more independent by the day. Before she knew it, her grandbaby would be out of the way, and Margo wouldn’t be needed anymore. In fact, it had already started. The fact that Alex had left her house so soon after his surgery was extremely telling. What would happen when her family didn’t need her anymore?
“If you’re done with dinner, I thought we could go to this little jazz club that just reopened,” Gerald said.
Margo thought about what she originally had on tap for the rest of the night. She had planned to start the base for her special bread pudding that had to stand for twenty four hours. Eli had requested she make the dessert for Sunday dinner. A dinner he wasn’t even sure he would be able to attend because of his schedule at the hospital. A few months ago, Margo would not have considered taking time for herself at the expense of preparing one of her son’s favorite desserts.
But now…
Maybe it was time she start thinking about herself.
Margo placed her hand in Gerald’s. “I would love to accompany you to that club, Gerald. I’m in the mood for a little jazz.”
Renee broke off a piece of graham cracker crust and smashed it with the tines of her fork, creating a mess on the edge of her dessert plate. It had occurred to her less than a half hour into this date that she was bored stiff, and that was before the movie nearly put her to sleep.
This wasn’t the first time she’d been out with Rashad and found herself thinking about the million other things she could be doing with her time. Yet it had never occurred to her to just tell him that she wanted to leave. She hated the thought of being rude after he’d been such a friend these few months since she’d moved from Florida. He didn’t deserve to be treated that way.
But she wasn’t feeling this. Not at all. She had a choice in how she spent her Friday night, so why was she sitting here halfway engaged in boring conversation with a guy she was becoming less and less interested in by the minute? They would never be more than friends.
“Is everything all right?”
Renee’s head popped up at Rashad’s inquiry. Should she be honest? That usually wasn’t even a question, except when it came to hurting someone’s feelings.
“I’m fine,” she lied. Coward.
“Is the cheesecake okay?”
“It is.” She nodded. “I guess I’m still a little full from dinner earlier.”
“What are you doing tomorrow?” Rashad asked.
“It’s the Florida versus Tennessee game,” she answered.
Rashad rolled his eyes. “Sorry, I forgot. Can’t you miss just one?” he asked. “There’s an exhibit at this gallery on Julia Street I’ve been wanting to check out.”
“I said it’s Florida versus Tennessee,” she said, figuring that should be enough. “Two of the top teams in the Southeastern Conference going head to head,” she continued, when he still didn’t seem to get it.
Rashad shook his head and sighed. “Fine, what about after the game?”
“Another SEC matchup: LSU versus Alabama.”
“But you didn’t go to either of those schools.”
“The game still has major implications for the rest of the conference,” she argued.
“I don’t understand how you can sit in front of the TV for hours and watch game after game,” Rashad said.
The same way he could stare at painting after painting for hours on end. At least the people on the TV moved. It was just her luck to pick a guy friend who wasn’t into sports, while she was the poster child for the outdoors. “Rashad, I’m really tired. Can we call it a night?”
“You sure? You’ve hardly touched your cheesecake.”
“I’m going to get it to go. It’ll be my breakfast tomorrow.” She might be athletic, but she wasn’t a complete health nut.
Rashad pushed from the table and came around to pull out her chair. One thing he had going for him was the gentleman quality.
“Do you want to get another slice of cheesecake to take home for your aunt?”
And thoughtfulness, too.
But that didn’t make up for having nothing in common. It was time to end this. “No, thanks,” Renee answered.
Even keeping up the small talk on the short drive from the restaurant had become increasingly difficult, which solidified Renee’s decision to make this her last official “date” with Rashad. She would break it off with him on Monday.
She hated to think how this would affect things at work, but she could not continue with this pretense. Tonight would have been better spent doing her laundry than watching a movie she didn’t want to watch and engaging in conversation she couldn’t remember.
When Rashad pulled his Mustang into her aunt’s driveway, Renee didn’t give him a chance to get out of the car. She gave him a slight peck on the cheek, thanked him for dinner, and quickly made her way out of the car and into the trailer. Aunt Lorna was sitting on the sofa with the remote in her hand.
“You’re home earlier than I thought you would be,” Aunt Lorna said. “I’m disappointed.”
“Good to see you, too,” Renee laughed, bending over to give her aunt a kiss on the cheek.
Aunt Lorna was her mother’s only sibling. Never married, she’d been the rebel of the family, moving out at the tender age of seventeen and making her way to New York City, where she spent years performing off Broadway. Even though her preacher father had not agreed with her career choice, he’d still supported her. It was Aunt Lorna’s decision to pose for Playboy that had been the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.
Although it completely alienated her from her parents, Aunt Lorna maintained that the day the magazine hit newsstands was one of her proudest moments. Renee had seen a copy of the photo layout. She had the right to be proud. Her aunt had possessed a body to die for, and it had been shown to full advantage on the glossy pages of the magazine.
Despite the riff her unconventional lifestyle had caused between Aunt Lorna and her parents, there had never been a break in the relationship between her and her sister, Doreen, Renee’s mother.
When Renee finally broke free from the abuse of her childhood, she had turned to her aunt, who welcomed her with open arms. That’s why when Katrina hit, it had not been a question where Lorna would evacuate. Renee even gave up the bed in her one room apartme
nt, sleeping on the sofa so Aunt Lorna would be as comfortable as possible during the weeks she remained with her in Tampa after the storm. When Lorna was scammed by that contractor, Renee hadn’t thought twice about leaving her job and moving to New Orleans to aid her aunt in whatever way she could.
“Do you want a slice of cheesecake?” Renee offered.
“I have a figure to maintain, thank you very much. It’s not as easy to keep those pounds off once you pass fifty. You’d better enjoy those sweets while you can.”
“Thanks for the warning,” Renee laughed.
“What happened with the construction worker from the school?” Aunt Lorna asked. “Did he show up to check out the house?”
“Yeah,” Renee answered. He’d had the chance to check out a lot more than the house. Heat rushed through her just at the thought of the look on Alex Holmes’s face when he’d accidentally walked in on her stark naked.
“What did he say?”
“That you were ripped off.” Renee opened the miniscule refrigerator and retrieved a carton of milk.
“Did he say anything I don’t know already?”
Renee rested her hip against the kitchen counter while she poured milk into a glass. “He thinks we can save most of the wood from the frame.”
“Oh, thank God. I’d hate to throw that cedar away. It was one of the reasons I bought this house. What about the copper piping?” Aunt Lorna asked.
“He’s sending a crew tomorrow morning to look everything over and start taking down the walls and ceiling.”
“How much will it all cost?”
“That’s one thing he didn’t say.”
Lorna sighed. “I guess it doesn’t really matter. It has to get done, no matter the cost.”
“And it’s not as if you have to worry about taking care of it by yourself.”
“I told you I’m not taking money from you, little girl.” Aunt Lorna’s stern warning drew another laugh from Renee.
“And I told you that you don’t have a choice.”
Renee still remembered waiting in line at Western Unions along the East Coast as her mother received emergency wire transfers from her big sister. Aunt Lorna’s financial support had kept them afloat those times her mother had tried to leave her father. It was throwing good money after wasted intentions, of course. After a few weeks, her mother would always find her way back to her abusive husband.
“Will you be here tomorrow when the work crew arrives?” Lorna asked.
“I can be,” Renee answered. “I was going over to Penelope’s to watch football, but I can do that here.”
“I agreed to teach an acting class at the Boys and Girls Club, so I’ll be gone early tomorrow. I should be back before noon.” Aunt Lorna rose from the sofa and extended her arms in a generous stretch, her hands reaching the low ceiling of the trailer. “Well, since I don’t have to worry about waiting up for you, I’m going to bed.”
“As if you had to wait up,” Renee said, giving her aunt another kiss on the cheek.
“I promised myself I would take care of you,” Lorna reminded her.
“I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself, but I appreciate it anyway. Have a good night’s sleep.”
“I will, baby. I’ll try not to wake you when I get up in the morning.”
Renee flopped down on the sofa, picking up the remote and muting the volume as she flipped through the channels, settling on ESPN to catch the eleven o’clock Sports Center.
She thought about the past few hours she’d spent with Rashad, and wondered if she was being too hard on him. Rashad had been a good friend these past few months. Sure, he’d tried to take things a little faster than she had been willing to allow, but as she’d just told Aunt Lorna, she was a big girl. She could definitely take care of herself. The first time Rashad’s hand had traveled where it shouldn’t have, he’d found his arm bent up behind his back, and her knee primed to turn him into a soprano. Renee hadn’t had much of a problem dealing with him after that. It was only in the last couple of weeks that he’d started coming on strong again, but all it would take is another lesson in manners to nip that behavior in the bud.
But was it even worth it?
Their friendship would go no further than where it was right now. She’d already established that in her mind, and her boredom with their date to night had confirmed it. If Rashad could not handle being strictly friends, then Renee would have to cut all ties. It was as simple as that.
She’d never been one of those women who needed a man on her arm to feel complete, but she was careful about not pushing guys away, either. She knew she had her share of daddy issues, but she refused to let her abusive father color her judgment of men in general.
She’d only had a couple of serious boyfriends in her life, and they had always started out as friends. In the beginning she’d sort of hoped she and Rashad could develop the same type of friendship. But that wasn’t going to happen. Whenever she finally decided to enter a relationship again, she needed to have at least one thing in common with the guy.
“And he should definitely love football,” Renee whispered as she raised the volume on the television a couple of notches. Stuart Scott was about to lay out the matches for tomorrow’s games.
Chapter Eight
“Why do I let you get me into these situations, especially at this time of the morning?” Penelope huffed. “Normal people choose to sleep in on a Saturday, you know.”
“This is more fun than wasting away your Saturday morning in bed.” Renee said as she grabbed hold of the brown peg above her head and heaved, scaling up another foot of the rock wall.
“As cold and lonely as my bed is, I’d still rather be there than hanging off the side of this stupid wall,” Penelope said.
“C’mon, it’s not that bad.”
“I’m guessing this harness thingy doesn’t have your underwear riding up your butt,” Penelope deadpanned.
Renee laughed so hard she nearly lost her footing. “I am so going to get you for that,” she warned, still laughing. “We only have a few feet to go before we’re done. You can take the stairs down.”
They made it up the rock wall. Renee held back just a bit so Penelope could climb onto the ledge ahead of her. Her friend was waiting with her hands on her hips when Renee finally pulled herself up into a standing position.
“You do realize only insane people engage in these types of activities for ‘fun,’ don’t you?” Penelope made air quotes after the word fun.
“In addition to being great exercise,” Renee said, taking off her helmet and shaking out her hair, “it’s also an excellent stress reducer.”
“Ah, you see, hon, that’s where we differ. For a girl like me, hanging off the side of a rock causes stress, even if it’s a fake rock with a padded floor at the bottom. Besides, there is not enough stress in the world that will send me to doing some of the things you do to relieve stress.”
“Please, with all the stuff going on these days, I’d have to go skydiving to release the adrenaline stored up in these muscles. Come on.” She motioned for Penelope to follow her down the staircase that ran along the backside of the rock wall.
“What’s going on?” Penelope followed close on her heels.
“Don’t worry about it,” Renee said.
“You know me better than to think I’d let you brush me off,” Penelope snorted. When they arrived at the bottom of the stairs, her coworker grabbed her by the arm and pulled Renee around to face her. “You dragged me out of bed at six in the morning; the least you can do is bare your soul.”
“Such a small price to pay,” Renee chuckled.
“Spill it.”
“Really, it isn’t anything serious.”
Penelope just stared, her expression unrelenting.
“Oh, all right,” Renee said. “Can we at least talk about this over a round of kickboxing?”
“Uh oh, this must be big.”
“You asked for it,” Renee reminded her. Grabbing a couple
of padded gloves from the rack that ran the length of the gym’s wall, she dragged Penelope to the center of the floor.
Fashioned in kneepads and protective headgear, Penelope held up her gloved hands. “Come on, talk to Mama.”
Debating the wisdom of baring her soul, Renee asked, “Remember the copy machine guy from the other day?”
“Oh yeah. I found out he’s little Jasmine Holmes’s father. The one who lost his wife in an accident a few years back.”
“Yeah, I know,” Renee said.
“And I found out he is still single.”
“Yeah.” Renee executed a round house kick. “I know.”
Penelope gave her a hard look, her eyes in an accusing squint. “What did you do?”
“Nothing,” Renee said.
“Renee.” Penelope sounded like a mother who knew her guilty two year old was lying about stealing a cookie before dinner.
“I swear, nothing happened.”
“But you want something to happen.”
“Oh yeah,” Renee answered. She threw three successive punches into Penelope’s gloved hand.
“Take it easy,” Penelope said. “Why don’t we just talk before you kill me?”
“I’m sorry.” Renee wiped sweat from her brow. She took a swig of water from the bottle she’d placed a few feet away from them on the floor. “I kind of ended things with Rashad,” she confessed.
“When?” Penelope tore the cushioned helmet from her head.
“Last night. I didn’t exactly end it, but I’m going to.”
“Why?”
Renee sent her a blunt look.
Penelope sucked in a breath. “Copier guy? You gave it up to copier guy? When?”
“Please,” Renee snorted. “When was the last time I gave anything up? But I wanted to,” she admitted. “I still want to. Really, really bad.”
“I’m trying to decide whether I should be upset since I specifically told you I wanted him, or if I should do a little happy dance for you.”
“He is so not the type of man a girl would just hand over to her friend. So if you want to fight over him, be my guest. Just remember I’m in much better shape than you are.”
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