Bound by Wreckage_Ravage MC

by Ryan Michele

  Moving through the clubhouse, I knock on the closed door. “Yeah,” my sister calls out from Ryker’s room.

  “Nox,” I call out.

  “Come in.”

  Opening the door, I step inside to a very clean room, knowing that her man doesn’t clean up his shit at all. “Ryker put you on cleanin’ duty.”

  “Hell no. I put myself there. I’m not stayin’ in a mess.”

  I sit next to her on the bed. “Need a favor.”

  “Sure.”

  “Need you to find someone.” She eyes me suspiciously, and I continue. “Carsyn. She goes by the name Ava Smith now, and I don’t know where she is.”

  “Carsyn, Carsyn.” Light brightens her face, but she’s acting. She knows exactly who I’m talking about.

  “Don’t get any ideas. I just need to know that she’s safe.” I reach in my back pocket and pull out a copy of the ID I had made for Carsyn and hand it to my sister. “This is the information I have on her. On the bottom, I wrote her new social as well. It’s all I’ve got.”

  “And what are we doing if we find her?”

  “As long as she’s safe, I’m good.”

  “Liar.” She coughs through her fist and I smirk, knowing my twin knows me well. One of the first that have come to me in days. It almost hurts to have joy. Dagger wouldn’t want that, but it’s hard to lose someone. It’s a constant struggle back and forth.

  I keep going. “Also need you to look into the Rangers and find out their activity. Need to know if Carsyn is there with them.”

  “Yeah.” Her demeanor becomes solemn, and her tone changes. “Tomorrow is gonna suck.”

  “It is.”

  Austyn lays fully on the bed next to me. “I feel bad.”

  “We all do.”

  “No, that’s not what I mean.” She rolls onto her back and looks up at the ceiling. “Like Pops was saved by some magical force. Then in order for that to happen Dagger had to go. It’s like some cosmic calling or something ripping one away from us to save the other.”

  “One, you don’t believe in that shit so stop spewing it. Two, it’s not like that. It’s not about one person living so someone dies. It’s about people’s time to leave us. We didn’t get to keep Pops to lose Dagger.”

  “I’m not sure anymore. It’s fucked up.” She turns on her side to me. “I’ve searched, trying to find the asshole too, but I’ve come up with nothing.”

  “We’ll find ‘em. That I have no doubt.” It may take us busting through walls, but we will find the asshole who put my brother six feet under. And Hell have no fury like the Ravage MC.

  “I know.” She pauses, flipping to her back again. “Are you ready for a full house? I have to go out and help Mom with all the food prep soon.”

  Tomorrow will be big. Chapters from all over will be coming in to pay their respects to Dagger. They’ll be other MCs here that knew him and want to pay their respects as well. It’ll be hell, but necessary.

  My heart aches at the thought. My mind can’t grasp it even though tomorrow it will be our reality.

  Dagger needs his last ride.

  “It’ll be fine.” I sit up. “Can you get on that? I need the info as soon as you can.”

  She sits up and grabs her laptop. “On it. Then I have to cook.”

  “Thanks.”

  Leaving the room, I shut the door and rest my head against it. Fuck, I hope she’s safe because if she’s not, I’m going to make sure she is.

  **

  * * *

  Dagger’s casket lays in front of us on a trailer pulled by Rhys and Tanner. Rhys insisted he be the one to lead Dagger to his final ride with Dagger’s bike, and my dad gave him that knowing that anything else wouldn’t be an option. It took a fuck of a lot to get the bike up and running again, but we were able to get it done.

  The other day Rhys decided to take out his frustrations on the pool table in the far corner of the clubhouse. Let’s just say, we’re using it for kindling for the fire pit. He’s got it rough, losing his best friend and having to be strong for his woman and his girls. But he does it with no complaints.

  We’re here for him, and he knows that.

  The precession is huge following Dagger to the gravesite. Even though the day is sunny, it still isn’t enough to lift the darkness around the Ravage MC. My heart breaks, but I school my features. We’re all hurting. Dagger is first then a limo with Mearna and Mazie follow—then the Ravage brothers and their ol’ ladies, and Rylynn who rides her own Harley. Then other chapters of Ravage, then other MCs that wanted to pay their respects.

  There are bikes as far as the eye can see, each one honoring the one in the casket.

  Mearna didn’t want a visitation, saying that Dagger wouldn’t want everyone cryin’ over him. He’d want y’all to have a beer. Which is true and went with his wishes.

  We pull into the cemetery noting Diamond’s tombstone to which we lower our hand to out of respect and move across to Dagger’s final resting place. Parking our bikes, Ryker, Deke, Green, Jacks, Cooper and I go to the casket, lifting it and carrying it to set on the metal above the plot.

  Rylynn helps her grandmother and sister, while Rhys takes care of Tanner.

  My grandpa, Pops as we all call him, comes up and places a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it tight. He doesn’t release it for long moments, letting me know he hurts but without saying the words.

  Dagger was close to everyone, but especially Rhys and Pops. Pops has his arm around Ma, who’s no doubt being strong for the both of them.

  Bones, a brother from another chapter of Ravage, steps up front to begin the service while the rest of us crowd around with Mearna, Tanner, Rhys, Rylynn and Mazie, who is holding on to a stuffed bear her grandpa got her, all sit in the front row. We asked for no more chairs knowing that we’d rather stand for our fallen brother.

  “A brother has fallen,” Bones begins as I look down at my feet, and wetness fills my eyes. Fuck, I’ve been good, holding myself together, but this—this is final. It’s him in the ground, gone forever. Fuck.

  When I was five, Dagger gave me my first taste of Jack. He said Let’s get some hair on that chest of yours. He chuckled after that, sliding a shot glass with barely anything inside of it. I smelled it and gave him the look of disgust because that shit was ripe. Even that young, I knew it would knock me on my ass.

  Do it, he said as I lifted the glass and took a drink. The burn was terrible, and I spit it out all over the floor. Dagger laughed his ass off, and I had to get the mop to clean up the mess.

  Looking back, I have lots of those memories. Dagger handing me a condom at sixteen knowing I was going behind the garage to fuck some chick against the cement bricks. Then Dagger teasing the shit out of me afterwards saying my twenty-five minutes behind the building wasn’t long enough.

  Dagger at every single birthday party I’d had in my life runs through my mind. When I joined Ravage, Dagger pulled me aside, put two hands on my shoulders and said, Seein’ you grow up. Knew you’d be wearin’ this cut and one of my brothers. Proud of you, son.

  So many moments. So many memories that I’ll forever hold dear.

  I feel a tear slip out of the corner of my eye and brush it away.

  Bones speaks, but all I can think about is all the times we went riding as a pack, as a family. All the runs and vacations we spent together. All of which swarms my head and clouds it up with memories, laughter, and pain.

  Loud sobs pull me back to the present. Tanner is up by the casket with her mother, husband, and daughters. She’s speaking words, but I’m unable to hear them, which means she doesn’t want any of us to hear them. I’m good with that. Her last moments with her father need to be recognized and cherished.

  She had a rough go, not meeting Dagger until she was in her twenties. Once they connected, they never parted. So much time wasted. Those twenty some years he could’ve had his daughter and woman, but didn’t.

  Time. It’s really all we have in this world. The good, bad, and
ugly. All depending on how you look at it.

  A line forms and I clasp my hands in front of me, waiting for my turn. When it comes, it’s too soon and I’d love to turn back time. Placing my hand on the cherry wood, I say, “Have peace, brother. We’ll take care of your family. My word,” I whisper in respect one last time, “Brother.”

  Leaving, knowing that in a few moments, Dagger will be under the dirt, my heart cracks and shatters as I make it to my bike. Slowly, I bend over and rest my hands on my knees, trying to pull my shit together. Fuck me.

  A hand comes to my back, and I look over my shoulder to see Rylynn with red eyes and a small smile. I rise and engulf her in my arms, holding her. “Sorry, babe.”

  “Same to you.”

  She inhales and exhales deeply and since I don’t feel wet, she must be pulling herself together because when she pulls away, there are no tears. “Guess now we give a hell of a party for Grandpa.” I nod as she walks off and to her bike.

  Yeah. We will have that.

  **

  Shit day. That’s what it’s been.

  Dagger is laid to rest, and I hope he can find peace knowing he saved his woman’s life. Mearna didn’t stay long at the party, but no one expected her to. She tried to tough it out, but the fatigue pulled her under and the nurse took her home.

  The clubhouse is packed with brothers, friends, other chapters, other clubs… women and men. The kids were taken out a while ago to one of the rooms to sleep. We all wanted Mearna to do the same, but she said it was too hard to stay here.

  Liquor is flowing, music is playing, and women are dancing and giving us a show. Nothing will ever fill the void that Dagger has left in our lives, but this—we give to honor him.

  The bar is covered in shot glasses filled with Jack, and I reach out taking one.

  “Listen up!” Rhys yells over the music that is cut immediately. “Everyone get a shot so we can do this.”

  Rylynn grabs one as do Austyn, Emery, Bristyl and Riley along with their men.

  Rhys looks as though he’s going to say something, then backs down. This is killing him. Tanner wraps her arms around his body, and Rhys closes his eyes briefly. “Dagger was a good man. One of a kind. Let’s drink to the fucker.” Rhys holds up his glass as the crowd cheers. We slam the shot glasses down to the bar, the crashes echoing through the space.

  Everywhere you turn there are memories in this place. Dagger filled most of them. Yeah, the fucker is going to be missed. His loss is tearing a hole inside of Ravage, laying one of our originals into the ground. He’s a part of all of us.

  Everyone disburses, and the music begins to thump. We left a table off to the side with one chair and a draft beer sitting on it. In memory of Dagger. He’ll always be with us in spirit.

  “Hey, man.” Crow comes up, slapping me on the shoulder and slides into the seat next to me.

  “Holy shit. How the hell are ya?”

  Crow is from the Rebellion chapter of the Ravage MC that’s just outside of Rebellion, Alabama. Their chapter is decent size and growing. Crow’s is in his thirties and has been the President for the past three years after his ol’ man stepped down.

  “Been hangin’ in there. This is a hard blow, though.”

  “Tell me about it.” I grab the neck of my beer and take a swallow. “Shit’s fucked up.”

  “No clue who did it, huh?”

  I shake my head, pissed that we don’t have answers.

  “Anything we can do to help?” I lean in a little closer to talk to him because of all the noise around us, the music thumping loudly.

  “Not right now, but we’ll let ya know.” Without any leads, there’s nothing to follow through on.

  He lifts his chin, his eyes skating across the room then stopping on someone. Following his gaze, Rylynn stands smiling next to a group of people, no doubt everyone wanting to give their condolences. That’s all it’s been all day. I brush his arm to grab his attention, his gaze shooting to me. “You don’t want Rhys as your fuckin’ father-in-law.”

  “That’s his kid?”

  The puzzled look has me chuckling. “Yep.”

  “Fuck. How the hell did I not know that?”

  Rylynn is a beautiful woman who’s coming into her own. It will take a hell of a man to grasp on to her though, because she won’t take anyone’s shit. Not even a man she cares about. That shit is a disaster waiting to happen.

  “Probably because she doesn’t go on runs with us.” My words drip with sarcasm.

  “Hey!” Brewer, another member of the Rebellion Ravage MC, grabs a chair and parks his ass down, shutting down the conversation of Rylynn. We talk for a while and everyone breaks off.

  A woman with blonde hair comes up to my side, brushing her very large tits on my arm. My cock doesn’t even twitch. He’s been that way since leaving Sound Carolina.

  “Hey, Nox. Let me make you feel good.” She licks her lips, again doing nothing to turn me on.

  It all leads to one damn woman I can’t get out of my head. I need to talk to Austyn.

  “Nah. Not tonight, darlin’.” She pouts her lips as I turn and walk away. There’s enough shit on my plate, and I sure as hell don’t need anymore.

  But I have to know if Carsyn is okay.

  Searching the clubhouse, Austyn sits at the bar laughing with Emery and I make my way to her, tapping her on the shoulder. “Need to chat.”

  Austyn’s smile falls as she tells Emery she’ll be right back. She follows me into my room, and I shut the door blocking out the noise of the clubhouse.

  She doesn’t waste any time. “Carsyn or Ava… whatever her name is… she’s on the move. Employment records have her in Nashville, Tennessee, but she didn’t show up for work and was fired. She got a bus ticket out of Nashville to Springfield, Illinois, but she got off before that. She’s a smart girl.”

  “Keep going,” I urge, knowing she’s smart as hell, but wanting answers.

  “She switched and went to St. Louis. She’s there right now. The hotel she’s staying at she had to use the credit card with Ava Smith on it.”

  “She’s running.”

  “That’d be my guess.”

  Fuck. Something really spooked her. “What did you find out on the Rangers and Buck?”

  “Buck and a group of his guys haven’t been back in town for a couple of weeks. They’re smart, paying cash, and I can’t get a read on their cells. Them, I have no idea where they are.”

  Running my hands through my hair, frustration builds. He went after her and somehow figured it out where she was. If he knows her fake name, she’ll be a sitting duck. Fuck.

  “So no idea where Buck is?”

  She shakes her head. “Looked up everything I could. The only thing I have is when they pulled out and left. Everything after that is blank.”

  Fuck.

  “You goin’ after her?” she asks, trying to be cute.

  “Need to talk to Dad, then I’m out.”

  She grabs my arms and holds me in place. “You don’t go alone, Nox.”

  I lean over and kiss the top of her head. “I’ll be good.”

  First, I need to talk to my dad, then round up the Ravage MC and find Carsyn. Fuck, I knew I should’ve brought her back here.

  Next time I see her, I will.

  18

  Carsyn/Ava

  St. Louis sucks. I liked Nashville so much better. There’s a smog that hangs in the sky over the city, and there are too many cars going every which way all the time. At least where I am, next to one of the largest interstates.

  All the time I hear the cars, horns and semis jake braking, each sound making me jump.

  Being holed up in this hotel is driving me nuts. It’s much nicer than my old place, but it’s also more expensive and I had to use the credit card Nox gave me.

  Everything I own is inside a backpack and one bag with my letters stuck in the bottom. Luckily, whoever was in my room didn’t shred my clothes. The only good part of this entire scenario.


  I didn’t get to tell Sondra bye or even call my job to tell them I quit. Everything happened so damn fast. Luckily, no one followed me—at least that I saw.

  Sitting in the middle of the bed, I stare at the blank television screen. Nothing holds my interest. My mind races with all the different scenarios that could happen and how I’d get out of them. For example, Buck comes to the door and I jump out the window that’s five stories high. That’s a great one.

  They break in the door and I shoot; I miss and they capture and shoot me.

  I’m not cut out for this on the run stuff. Yes, it’s much better than living with Buck, but is it really living? Looking over your shoulder when you walk down the street or eyeing the driver of the bus because you don’t know if he’s going to call Buck and turn me in.

  Hell, even at the grocery store when people look at me more than a second the paranoia sets in.

  Nox wanted me to find a small bit of happy, but when I found it in Nashville, I had to leave. Now here, I don’t know anyone again and need to find a job if I decide to stay. The way my time has been here, I’ll probably be moving on.

  Maybe instead of the big city, I need to find a small out of the way town, where I can get lost because it’s not on the map.

  Pulling out the paper map of Missouri I got from the front desk, I search around. Nothing pops out at me, and wherever I go there needs to be a bus route to it.

  Nox would know what to do. One call. As much as I’d love to make that call, it’s impossible especially now with the thought of Buck on my tail.

  How the hell did he find me?

  Panic sets in as I think of all the possibilities. Does he know my new name? Did he go to Gunny and Sharon’s house? Are they hurt? Will he be able to find me now?

  He will if he knows my name because I used that damn card. Hair in my hands, tears fall from my face. This is worse than I imagined it being; living, going place to place, and trying to find somewhere to hide the rest of my life.