Conflicted (Secrets and Lies)

by Koenig, M. M.

  My research of the company before interviewing gave me enough of the background of the figureheads to the company as well as its dynamic. Liam Fitzgerald and his cousin Sean Fitzpatrick started it. It wasn't until later that Colin Sweeney joined them. Their families had been a part of the south side for generations and came straight off the boat from Ireland. Each family made this area their home with each generation becoming more affluent within the community until they evolved into this finance company.

  Being a privately held company, those three men were the exclusive shareholders. Liam Fitzgerald passed away several years ago. When Liam died, his sons inherited his shares. Ethan received ninety percent of the shares while his brother Devin got ten percent. I was curious why Ethan came out so far ahead of Devin. The media took an interest in it too but eventually it faded away. After interviewing with Ethan, I researched enough to know that he never formally stepped into his rightful executive position. He chose to retain his status as senior vice president. My investigation gave me the basics of the company and its personnel. It led me to believe that they were very cautious on what they released to the media regarding the company and their personal lives.

  When meeting with Sean and Colin, it was evident that they despised being bothered with such things but they were willing to tolerate it for ten minutes. Both men were taciturn and detached while we spoke with them. The idea of being alone with either of them gave me shivers. The way they gaped at me freaked me out. I couldn't place it but they stared me down as if I was a ghost. Their icy glares were enough to squash some of the naughty sexual desires I had standing next to Ethan.

  The meeting with Devin was much different. He didn't seem as interested in me as Sean and Colin. I focused more on the tension between those two because it was tangible. The hatred between them was alive and well. I was glad that we weren't with him for too long because Ethan became stone cold.

  We spent the rest of the day making our way between floors. The fourth floor was home to the accounting and analyst departments. The third floor housed sales and marketing. The second floor was the busiest floor of them all being occupied by production and project management. We were back on the first floor that housed senior management and human resources. There were also several large conference rooms that bridged off from the receptionist and lobby area.

  Ethan spent a substantial amount of time going over what each department did for the company as well as the key points to their success. This company worked with some of the most prominent people and companies in the world. Their focus seemed to be investments but they also had lending programs. My head was starting to hurt as I absorbed all the information.

  After we hit every corner of the office, we headed back to his office. On our way back, the mood shifted between us. When we were with other people, I didn't struggle nearly as much to manage my raging hormones around him. It was when we were alone that my body refused to have any control over itself.

  When we reached his office, he politely opened the door. I strolled to his desk to take a seat. Ethan sat down placing his palms on the desk giving me a hard glance. I squirmed in my chair wondering what he was thinking to have such an inflexible look behind those beautiful eyes.

  "What did you think of your first day?"

  I smiled timidly. "I feel real good about it. The workflow to the operations is highly remarkable. What will my position entail?"

  Ethan lightened up with a crooked grin. "I'm glad you've asked. We do a walk through of the company with all our entry-level employees to find out where they will be the best fit. Regardless of what we post in an ad, we leave plenty of room for change."

  I stared at him curiously. He looked at me grazing his fingers across his chin.

  "I believe that you'll fit best with our team that handles all the pitches to potential clients. Connor O'Shea will give you further details on what he expects of you. You'll report to him tomorrow morning," Ethan declared.

  It was obvious he had more to say so I nodded. My eyes flickered from his desk to him.

  "You can complete that paperwork now. I'll turn it over to HR before I leave for the day," he said, pointing at the file in front of me. "You'll need to be buzzed into the building tomorrow but we'll have a badge for you by the afternoon. The last item I want to discuss is salary. What are your expectations?"

  I fidgeted in my chair letting guilt consume me. It drained some of the heat coursing through me and slowed my heart down. I could already tell that lying to him was going to make me feel like shit. He pierced his eyes at me demanding an answer sooner rather than later.

  "Whatever you see fit will meet my expectations," I replied quickly.

  His face tightened and I flinched. Ethan jotted down a figure before sliding the post-it over to me. I sucked in a quick breath at the amount. I nodded and he relaxed into his chair. I took the paperwork and started to complete it. It didn't take too long to finish it. I stuffed the completed papers into the file.

  He smiled. "I think that about does it for today."

  He rose to walk me out. I scurried past him pausing only for a moment. I doubted touching him again was a good idea especially since my body had thrown a fiesta while I worked on those forms. If he brushed my side, I'd shed my clothes in a New York minute so his hands could travel all over me.

  "Uh, thanks again Ethan. I'll see you tomorrow," I said before leaving for the day.

  "When you arrive, check in with me. I'll take you up to the third floor," he said, lingering at the door.

  I glimpsed over my shoulder to see him still standing there staring at me with unwavering eyes. I faced forward picking up my speed to get to the parking lot. I'd figure out how to deal with this bizarre attraction eventually.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  The following day I met Connor's team. His team had six people - Cade, Calder, Camron, Cane, Collin, and Cory. My jaw dropped when Connor rattled their names off in a spitfire fashion. It frustrated me to be on an all-male team. It was going to make getting to know the females around here a joy. I guess anything was better than working with Ethan. I'd rather suffer under torture tactics than attempt another whole day with him. It took all night to purge the dirty thoughts of him out of my system.

  It didn't take long for me to find my footing with my team. After a few weeks, I was like one of them. I got to know the majority of the people on our floor through the guys. They took me under their wing making it a point to make sure they introduced me to everyone. I discovered that these guys were the cream of the crop and handled all the best marketing projects. Just by being in their presence, I had been able to snag plenty of lunch and happy hour invitations. I found some solid ground with quite a few people and started to lay the foundation for finding out more for Harrison.

  We worked out a schedule for updates and planned to meet face to face for any big news. We spoke on every Friday to recap any findings from the week. I hadn't discovered anything useful yet but Harrison assured me that it would take time and to focus on my relationships with people. I was adjusting into my new routine without too many issues. Even though my presence there was under false pretenses, I was getting a lot out of the experience. The content that we marketed bored the shit out of me but preparing the presentation was something I enjoyed. There were days I'd have to remind myself of my true purpose for being there. Waves of guilt accompanied those reminders. I dealt with the mixed feelings. I'd made a choice to be there. With all choices, there were consequences that inevitably followed and guilt was one of mine.

  ~

  I was an idiot for drinking the night before with the rest of house. I had next to no sleep making me struggle throughout most of the day. It was an eye-opening lesson that I was no longer in college because slacking off in the real world didn't go unnoticed. Some people gave me strange looks. The guys went out of their way to poke fun at me about it. Their blunt comments about being able to smell the alcohol in my pores happened throughout the day.

  I buried myself i
n my work trying to do my best to expel the nagging guilt that was growing by the day. I was good at separating myself from the story. My research in the past never led me to the front door of the content I was attempting to secure. I never had to deal with looking people in the eye while screwing them over. Most of the people here were great. They were just as innocent as the people that this place may have wronged.

  We had a big pitch coming up within the next few weeks so I decided to stay late putting in an extra effort towards my particular part. My assignment was finding a catchy way to lure in a potential client with words while the boys worked on the imagery. This one had me stuck. If we nailed it, the company would secure a new account that would generate millions.

  And probably rip off just as many more. Ah, give it a rest Mia.

  I heard faint voices coming down the hallway. A shiver ran up my spine when their cold tones registered in my mind. My spot on the floor happened to be near the exit so I was able to catch conversations that echoed off the hallway walls. Plenty of office gossip passed through my ears but nothing that would validate anything Harrison was trying to prove. That was until now. I listened as the chatter in the hall became crisper.

  "We should be able to set up the meeting soon. My source tells me that the last pieces of the puzzle are being validated now. It's rather interesting that this particular information landed at our doorstep but I'm not going to question it," Sean said evenly.

  "Are they coming here or are we flying out east?" Colin asked flatly.

  "We'll fly out for this unveiling. It's something they've wanted for the better half of the last two decades," Sean sneered.

  The tone in his voice made my skin crawl. I didn't think evil had an audible sound. I sensed that they might have stopped by the elevators. Their voices were no longer becoming louder.

  "It may be enough to finally smoke them out. It will give us the payout we've waited for all these years," Colin responded bitterly.

  "If this doesn't get them out of hiding, I don't think anything ever will. I suspect that this particular discovery is the only thing that will do it," Sean declared.

  The elevator pinged announcing its arrival and their voices echoed away taking their discussion out of earshot. I curled my palms but my fingers slid all over from the sweat that was coating them. It was clear that most of what Harrison proposed was the truth. They were about to get retribution against someone that wronged them. I didn't have a lot to work with in what they were talking about but something big was about to happen soon. The pressure in my head increased. The reality of how dangerous this was for me tapped at the top of my skull screaming - "I told you so you idiot."

  "What are you doing here?"

  Ethan's deep voice rang through my head. I looked up to see him standing against the entryway. His deep brown eyes penetrated mine. I didn't hear him talking with the other two so it was unclear if he was with them the whole time or if he sprang up out of nowhere. He tended to do that from time to time. My body instantly aroused soaking him in.

  Shit. Here we go. My head is already spinning. Now, he's here. I'm screwed.

  "This pitch has me stuck," I answered weakly.

  Colin and Sean shook me to the core. My voice sounded an octave above a whisper.

  "Mia, you realize it's after seven. We don't expect you to be here past your required hours."

  The concern in his voice made my insides warm against the chilliness that currently held me. As he approached me, Ethan flashed a dimpled grin that made me more at ease.

  "I don't like the current block in my head. Sometimes my best work comes long after the day has finished."

  Ethan walked around my desk to stand behind me. He leaned over my shoulder coming within inches of me as he scanned my computer screen. Sparks zoomed throughout my body. He smelled like a cool summer's day fresh after a rain shower. It was my new favorite smell. I begged myself to remain focused given his proximity. It was a losing battle.

  "You don't fail at much do you," Ethan commented.

  His breath skimmed my neck making it tingle as it skated across. Butterflies fluttered throughout my stomach as my chest tightened into a ball of nerves.

  "Where did that come from?" I questioned.

  "From what you have up on the computer, you seem well on your way to completing a perfect pitch to match the rest of your teams excellence," he praised.

  My eyes zoned in on him as he continued to stare at my work. His deep brown eyes had awe like quality behind them as they drifted between the screen and me. I had a strong urge to press my body close to his to satisfy the hunger he created with that look alone. I wanted to bury my head in my hands because my body and brain were in two very different places.

  "This isn't finished. I was playing around with some ideas that might work but I'm not happy with any of it. I'll know when I'm there," I stuttered.

  His closeness made my pulse speed up. It frustrated me not to have control over such little things. My blood boiled with the anger but the ache for more from him was drowning it by the minute. His lips curled into small grin. The sensations between my legs started to intensify as Ethan stood there smiling at me. I rolled my chair to the side to give myself more breathing room. The urge to move closer to him was a step away from taking over.

  "What makes you know you are there?"

  "I just get a feeling," I muttered.

  "Interesting," Ethan murmured.

  "What's so interesting about going with your gut?"

  I flinched catching my touchiness slip out. He pressed a button I didn't even know was ready for an argument. Hell, it was possibly my lack of ability to command the wayward emotions running through me that caused me to lash out. Every time he elicited a new reaction out of me, it sent me in a tailspin. The numbness that used to hold me seemed like a distant memory because whenever he was around I couldn't seem to catalogue my feelings fast enough.

  "It's not an answer I expected to hear from you," Ethan defended.

  "Maybe it is quitting time for me."

  His eyes darkened with my mood swing. He stepped back gliding his long fingers into his pockets before striding away. I started shutting down my computer. Silence surrounded me making me thankful for the last morsel of myself that was able to keep my breathing even since I had no control over my mouth. Ethan lingered at the door apparently waiting for me to walk with him downstairs. The inexplicable draw to be near him pulled at every nerve ending. I shuffled my way over to him doing my damn best to control the wanton ache that had settled between my stomach and thighs.

  "Can I ask you something?" Ethan asked as we hit an even pace departing the floor.

  "Depends."

  "On what?"

  "It depends on what you want to ask me."

  "What? Do you have some sort of approval list?"

  His tone startled me since it was out of character for him. I glanced at his perfect face seeing a hint of exasperation there. My heart pulsated at the prospect of affecting him.

  "No, I don't have a list," I answered shyly.

  "So I'm free to ask?" Ethan inquired.

  "Fine, ask away," I conceded.

  "Why are you so detached?" he questioned.

  "Huh," I stammered nearly stumbling over my own feet.

  "I tend to pay attention to what happens around here. You seem to get along with everyone but it's very superficial. I'm wondering why you keep yourself so separated."

  I tensed effectively halting all my sexed up feelings. My breath was all but lost that he saw me so clearly. It downright frightened me.

  "Try another question. I don't know you well enough to share something that personal," I deflected, keeping my eyes away from him.

  "Why are you really here?"

  What the hell? Why is he so damn interested in me?

  "I needed a change."

  "I assumed since you jumped fields. Why did you make such a drastic change," Ethan pressed.

  He tilted his head making sure I caught his eyes
that were full of curiosity.

  "I think you know the answer to that one. You do seem to be a bright guy."

  "Your expulsion from school," he murmured.

  I nodded. "Umm...so...I believe this is where we say good night."

  I was mere seconds away from the blissful silence of my car. The prospect elated me.

  He huffed. "I'll walk with you. This isn't a safe neighborhood."

  I rolled my eyes. "Ethan, it's not necessary."

  "This area is unpredictable. I'm walking with you," he insisted.

  His stature wasn't worth arguing with. My stomach twisted with the hard edge that settled upon him. He didn't like being told no. As if to reinforce his point, gunshots fired in the distance. Ethan raised an eyebrow as he opened the door. I rolled mine and followed him outside. I could handle a few more minutes and deep down I liked being with him. A sense of comfort wafted along with all the other sensual desires attacking various parts of me.

  "How old are you?"

  "I'm twenty-six."

  "Interesting."

  "How is that interesting?"

  "You seem older. It's hard to tell and a difficult detail to track down."

  Ethan squared me up with an inquisitive eye. I bit my lip letting far too much slip out there.

  Do not fuck up again. He is the last person you can make that mistake around.

  "I'm not sure if I should be annoyed that you're curious about such a mundane fact or honored that you cared to know," he muttered.

  "I didn't ask to annoy you. You've got a lot more going for you than most people do at twenty-six," I responded, gesturing back to the monstrosity behind us.

  Ethan smirked. "I'm going to take that as a compliment though the tone that accompanied it was on the sarcastic side. Is that one of your default settings?"

  "Maybe," I said with a sly grin.

  His chest rumbled with laughter before his jaw tightened pulling away his dimples. My insides mourned the loss. I loved when his dimples appeared.