Conflicted (Secrets and Lies)

by Koenig, M. M.

  "Mia, you said you don't want our first time to be in public but you're making it very difficult right now," Ethan moaned.

  I drove my hips into him with even more force. I didn't give a damn that we were in public. The hot pool of desire between my legs wasn't getting the satisfaction I needed with our remaining clothes in the way. My fingers fumbled with his fly as they worked to open it. Ethan separated our lips and grabbed my hands to stop me. He stared at me with reckless desire but there was a faint amount of uncertainty within his eyes.

  "Are you sure you want this now?"

  "Yes, I can't handle it any longer Ethan. I need you," I begged.

  He slammed his lips to mine. His mouth captured every part of mine and his tongue slithered at an erotic pace. Ethan lifted my legs and slid down my panties in one swift movement. He readjusted his jeans to free himself just as fast and lowered me on to him. I almost fell apart with how amazing it was having him inside me. Ethan moved at a slow pace to allow my body to accept his considerable length. Impatient for more, I drove harder needing him deeper. He met each of my thrusts with vigor. My body erupted with sensation. As I rocked into him each time, the tingling throughout my body amplified even higher.

  "Fuck..." Ethan hissed.

  His hands travelled up my back before tightening on my shoulders and bringing me into him even further. My body expanded as we carried along at an impassioned pace. It made everything inside my body burn for more. My hips obliged by pushing deeper. His head fell to the seat as he gripped me even tighter. He leaned forward to torture my breasts with his lips.

  "I've wanted you for so long. Fuck...it's like you were made for me..." Ethan muttered.

  We pressed upon with our bodies sliding against each other. He decided to change the pace to one that was far more relentless than we went at so far. Ethan began to pound even rougher. He was as far within me as he could go and it had every part of me clenching around him.

  "God...Yes..." I screamed.

  His lips sucked along my breasts so hard that I dropped my head to his shoulder. I bit down as the fire inside me grew to an inferno. We started to rock into each other with more force. I couldn't get enough of him or the mind-blowing sensations taking over my body. His mouth went from my breasts to my earlobe. His lips caressed every spot that it touched upon my skin. My breathing matched the pants that Ethan exuded in between each stroke of the tongue.

  "You wanted this now but I want so much more from you tonight. Let's finish this so we can get to that part of our evening," Ethan groaned loudly.

  "I need it to be faster if you want to move this along," I hollered without a care.

  Ethan obliged doing exactly as I asked. His hands moved down to my hips as he continued to drive into me. I squeezed around him as the blaze within my core exploded throughout my entire body. I screamed riding out the pleasure with him. My fingers tangled in his hair and jerked hard as he released into me. I rested my forehead against his as we came down from our intense ecstasy. His car became a symphony of our ragged breaths that matched the rapid beats of our hearts. Ethan was still somewhat hard making me start to tingle all over. Unconsciously, I clenched against the hardness and he shifted me further down his lap.

  "I think one brazen act this evening is enough don't you," Ethan remarked.

  I can't believe I begged him to have sex with me in a parking lot of a packed club. And I was loud - really loud!

  "Umm...yes, I think one is more than enough," I whispered.

  My cheeks flushed even hotter than the rest of my body as I looked over to him. Ethan pulled out of me with ease. He wrapped his arms around my waist as his nose grazed along mine. His tongue outlined my lips and a small moan escaped from me. He was turning me on all over again.

  "I take it that you don't do that often."

  "Try never."

  Ethan ran a trail of kisses along my jaw. I snuggled into him as my fingers trailed up his detailed chest. The urge to get lost in him again grew with each stroke. By the wetness that slicked upon the inside of my thighs, my body was without a doubt ready. Though he was no longer in me, it was evident that he was just as eager for more. It became more apparent with each touch I gave him. If we kept up this slow, sensual torture upon one another, we would be gearing up for round two. I took in his heated breaths before releasing his grip from my waist.

  He stared at me for a moment then retrieved his shirt. I shuffled off his lap and over to the passenger seat. I grabbed my top and slid it on as he retrieved his from the backseat. A small smile crept upon my lips as I watched him button up his shirt. It was a shame that the shirt needed to go back on at all. I giggled as my eyes went past him to the darkness of his windows. I was sure that the moans and the movement of the car gave plenty away but at least no one could see who was in it.

  "What?" Ethan inquired.

  "I understand your answer about the windows a little better," I said, motioning to the tint.

  Ethan flashed a devilish grin. "I've never had sex in this car. It never crossed my mind not even with you but then you started begging."

  "Hardy har har. Can we go now?" I asked with a roll of the eyes.

  Ethan grabbed my face and swept his lips across my mouth. His tongue passed mine before he broke off the kiss. I tried to resume it but he stopped me by placing a finger between them.

  "I have so much more planned for you so buckle up and prepare yourself. Your life is about to be changed in ways that you never thought imaginable."

  I sat back in shock grabbing the seat belt in response to his command. I continued to gape at him as he peeled out of the parking lot. He weaved in and out of traffic towards the part of the waterline that brushed into the city. I rested my head against the window. I needed a minute to process things. Everything about him was so incredibly right.

  Ethan pulled into a high-end apartment development. He rolled his window down to swipe an access card that opened the garage. After he parked his car, Ethan ran his fingers up my arm. They left a trail of heat in every spot. Ethan placed my hand on my cheek so that I would look at him. I smiled shyly as he sat sideways staring at me with such passion in his eyes that it made my insides become molten lava. He gently released my face and opened the door. We made our way to the elevators without a word. Once inside, he hit the top floor.

  As we went up, Ethan shuffled us until my back hit the wall of the elevator. He brought my hands above my head as his elbows settled outside of my pinned arms. He lowered his face within inches of mine. I stood bewitched under the spell he had over me. His mouth placed soft kisses across my upper and lower lips before he pulled away. I tried to move closer but it was difficult considering he immobilized me. I burned from every angle to be near him.

  "Patience," Ethan whispered.

  I huffed. "If you want patience, stop teasing me."

  "It sucks to be teased doesn't it," he pointed out.

  His lips went to my earlobe where he nibbled his way back to my mouth for a brisk kiss. I looked anxiously over his shoulder to see if we were near his floor. I was close to ripping off his shirt for the second time tonight. Ethan dropped my hands and moved to the opposite of the elevator. I gasped at the sudden loss of his body and he laughed. I moved to close the distance but he held up a hand for me to stop.

  "Are you trying to make me blow up? Why did you do that only to put on the brakes?"

  "Now, you understand what you did to me when you broke off our first kiss."

  I glared at him. "Is this some sort of lesson?"

  "Maybe," he said with a mischievous grin.

  I silently mouthed the colorful thoughts running through my head.

  "You drive me insane when you allow yourself to be so damn flippant," Ethan growled.

  "You seem to bring out every feeling within me before I have a chance to run it through the part of my brain that controls my rational side. Most of the time, I'm happy if I can filter anything when I'm around you," I admitted.

  He sighed. "I like
that you lose control around me. It's the only time I get a piece of the real person behind the wall that you have up around the rest of the world."

  Ethan left me stunned as he got out of the elevator. I stumbled out and followed him on his way down a long hall. He walked for a minute before turning around to face me. I froze waiting for his next move. He marched back to me and his lips met mine with force. His tenderness disappeared as he pressed against me with urgency. We stood there in the middle of the hallway exploring each other's mouths before he stopped again. The starting and stopping was driving me nuts. He stepped away with grief stretched across his face.

  "Please don't shut me out anymore," Ethan whispered in anguish.

  "I won't," I said with wide eyes.

  His tone sliced through every part of me. The pain in his eyes displayed how much I hurt him by pushing him away this last week. It simmered some of my wayward desires.

  "I'm going to hold you to that Mia."

  Ethan took my hand on our way to the apartment at the end. He let us in his place not bothering with lights or a tour. We hurried along to what I assumed was the bedroom. He stopped before opening the door. He ran his fingers along my arms at a deliberate pace. It sparked at my insides as he traced a trail to my lower back where he rested his hands. I melded my body into him. His fingers drifted across my backside as his thumbs sketched small circles. It sent the burn inside me further south at a rocket pace.

  Ethan kissed me with resolve as he opened the door to his bedroom. The only light came from the full moon illuminating the sky and flooding the room through the exposed window. As we shuffled along lost in each other's mouths, his hands ran underneath my top until it was off. My hands worked with the buttons on his shirt. I discarded it from his body with more gentleness than earlier. Everything was moving in slow motion. I was able to appreciate every defined part of his chest and arms. He let out a soft moan when I traced my fingers along his waistline. I let them drift underneath his boxers where my hands rubbed against him.

  He picked me up and lowered me onto the bed. Ethan hovered over me as his lips trailed down my chest to my bra where he gently sucked before discarding it. His lips had reignited the inferno from early. I purred in anticipation of having him back inside me. My hands went to his chest and my fingers outlined his tattoos with reverence. Ethan ran his lips down my stomach stopping at my belly button where he swirled his tongue before continuing further south. He removed my skirt and paused for a moment to look at me.

  The unmistakable passion in his eyes as they ran across my body made every part of me blaze. I unbuttoned his fly and brought his jeans down. He reached a hand around to pull them off. My eyes sprang open as I took in his very long, hard length. I had no idea how big he actually was until now. That wasn't what surprised me the most. He had a piercing down there.

  How the hell did I miss that earlier!!

  Ethan dropped his head as soft chuckles escaped from him. I'd given him yet another moment where he got a priceless reaction out of me. I shoved at his shoulders not particularly happy that he was laughing at me.

  "I guess I don't need to ask if you have ever been with someone that has this particular kind of piercing," he teased.

  I blinked and shook my head. His humor vanished as he swept his lips down my throat. His fingers did a similar motion further south. I arched my back and screamed at the dual sensation. He continued rubbing his thumb along my hot spot as his fingers eased in and out. I wanted to do the same thing with my hands but I wasn't exactly sure what would be pleasurable for him with a piercing there. Ethan didn't seem to care as he carried on at a relentless pace. Every fiber of my body electrified at his touch. My lips found his shoulder where I pressed tender kisses along it as my hands ran up his chest. I grasped his neck as my mouth sucked along his throat in the same fashion that his lips coasted along my neck. We had each other breathless with the intensity of every kiss. Ethan tilted his head away from my mouth as his eyes conveyed the hunger that he wanted to satisfy.

  "Are you ready Mia?"

  I bit my lip and nodded. I was more nervous than earlier but I didn't want him to see it. I let out a shaky breath as he slowly entered. My worries vanished as I absorbed the immense pleasure of having him back inside me. I had no idea if it was his length or the piercing but sex with him was unbelievable. The sensations within my core blasted throughout me. He moved at a slow pace that made my body crave for more of him.

  "Fuck. This feels amazing. You're incredible," Ethan moaned loudly.

  He inched his way deeper inside me. I rolled my hips with each thrust that he exuded upon me. It was much different going at an unhurried pace than the fast momentum from earlier. He eased until every part of him consumed me. He pulled back before thrusting forward again.

  "Yes...Ethan...Yes," I cried out.

  Our bodies rode together with effortlessness. It was so damn hot that I couldn't control anything within me let alone what flew out of my mouth. My hips kept with his steady rhythm. He secured his hands with mine and brought them above my head as his lips met mine. He tenderly kissed my top lip before doing the same to the bottom. We continued with no rush to finish any time soon. The only thing filling the room was our heated breaths and moans. Beads of sweat formed throughout various parts of our bodies as we rocked together.

  I had no idea if it was minutes or hours but my body reached its point of release. I clenched around Ethan as he picked up his pace. He groaned as he drove into me harder than he had earlier in the evening. I screamed at the roughness as he continued at a faster pace. As he grew closer to his climax, he started to tremor. I took in his deep brown irises that had so much passion behind them. It made everything in me peak at a higher level. He continued to shudder as I trembled with my insides squeezing against him. I climaxed hard around him and he followed me with a loud moan. Ethan sprawled across my chest showing no signs of movement. I was still trying to catch my breath. My heart surged as I heard his beat rapidly. He released our hands and brought them down to our sides. He kept his fingers wrapped with mine before turning my hand over to press a gentle kiss upon the outside of it. Our pants began to fade as our bodies came down from the power of our lovemaking.

  Everything about this time was nothing short of perfect. It made me kind of hate him. I was never going to be able to be with another guy after being with him. I thought when he kissed me that he ruined me but right now effectively did it. There was no way I was going to bounce back from this moment with him. I'd never be able to rid this level of euphoria from my memories. Every part of my body succumbed to him tonight. Ethan infiltrated the wall within my heart. He pressed upon until it cracked at his advances. In his pursuit for me surrender to him, he stole a piece of me. It aggravated me as much as it exhilarated me because I didn't forfeit over that side of me anymore.

  I became very tired while pondering what just happened between us. It was so much more than sex. Ethan slid out and brought me into his arms before crawling to the head of the bed. He laid me down on the pillow and kissed the tip of my nose before he fell next to me. My mind quieted itself with each breath he took next to me. Each of his breaths brought such comfort to me. They were a repetitious plea that I belonged with him. He wrapped his arms around me and I rested my head against his chest. I fell asleep listening to the steady beat of his heart.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  I slept for what may have been a few hours before discovering something about Ethan. He enjoyed having sex just as much as I did so we didn't sleep for very long. We went several more times until the wee hours of the morning before exhaustion made it impossible for another round. It was without a doubt the best sex of my life and it got better each time.

  My eyes fluttered open with the brush of his hands. My brain struggled to determine the time of day. The sun was bright as it poured into the room. I needed to get a better grip on not letting him take over my every thought. I was lying on my stomach and Ethan was at my side with his fingers trailing alo
ng my arms and back. After a while, he settled on a spot between my neckline and shoulders. He swept my hair to the side before tracing a diamond pattern. My body drank in the delightful sensations he brought with each stroke. He removed his fingers and replaced them with his lips. Ethan placed a tender kiss on each tattoo. A moan slipped from me as his lips went up my neck. I rolled over to bring his mouth to mine. Our lips met with passion. He lingered at my bottom lip before he pulled away to look into my eyes. His fingers ran through my hair with tenderness.

  "When I asked if you had any tattoos, you ignored me. I assume there is a reason that you avoided discussing it with me," he pointed out.

  I sighed. "The four that you see on my back is all that I have."

  I hoped that would be the end of it but his eyes persisted for more. It irked me that he sensed that there was a story behind them. He stared at me in a way that begged for me to allow him in even further. I couldn't deny the thoughtful look in his eyes. It tugged at my heartstrings. His hands cupped my cheekbones as he encouraged me to share more of me with him.

  "I got them a while ago."

  I rolled onto my stomach. I didn't want to look at him when the rest of the story came out.

  "Will you tell me what these mean?"

  His fingers made their way back to my tattoos. I savored his soft touch. He was so damn sweet sometimes that it was impossible not to give in to him.

  "They're a reminder."

  "What are they are reminder of?"

  "As hopeless as life can seem, it's never a reason to give up."

  "What do they mean?"

  "They're Chinese symbols. The top one is the symbol for dream. The one to the right is the symbol for live. The one to the left is the symbol for love. The last symbol completing the diamond is the symbol for laugh. They're my reminder to never give up."