by Wendy Vella
James touched her head, and she lifted it. Her eyes went to Cam first, and then her brothers. Reluctantly he released her as she gently pushed against his chest.
She was then held by her brothers, and Cam managed to stagger to his feet. He took Warwick from Dev, and held him tight.
“Apologies, sir, my brother’s actions have inconvenienced you hugely,” Cam heard Dev say.
“Your brother is a very intelligent boy, sir. I would be honored to take him up again, and teach him more about ballooning.”
“I don’t think so” was all Dev said. “But thank you again for returning them to us safely.”
“There now, there is no need for tears, Warwick,” Cam said. His little brother was shivering and sobbing softly into his coat. “We would never let anything happen to you.”
“I-I’m sorry.”
“I know,” Cam soothed. “And there will be plenty of time to discuss that, but for now let us get you warm.”
They walked to the carriage, and soon all were inside. It was a squeeze, but Lilly sat on Dev’s knee, and Eden on James’s. Emily was pressed between her brothers, directly across from Cam, while Warwick sat between him and Dev. They were covered in coats and blankets, and Emily given a flask to sip from. Which she did; in fact, she was gulping down several large mouthfuls.
“She had some of that in the air,” Warwick grumbled, “yet I was allowed none.” He was getting his voice back now he was warming up.
“Because you are reckless enough without any inducements. Emily, however, is not,” Dev said. “She is polite and behaves rationally, so a few sips will not harm her.”
Cam watched Emily swallow down more brandy. As if she felt him looking at her she turned, offering him a sweet smile, perhaps the sweetest he’d ever had from her. Coughing to clear his throat, he reached for the flask. “You have to share that, you know.”
She lifted it out of his reach, shaking her head. “I n-need it most.”
“And what of the torture we went through thinking about you up there? Do we not deserve some fortification?”
Her eyes narrowed as she studied him.
“I’m sh-sorry for your pain. I sh-saw it in your eyes as we rose in the air.”
“Did you?”
Her nod was vigorous, and had her bumping shoulders with Max. Had the circumstances been different, Cam might have enjoyed a foxed Emily, but his emotions were still too raw.
“So, there will be punishment, Warwick, but firstly, what was it like?” Dev said as Cam continued to watch Emily. She’d be legless by the time she reached London, but no one seemed terribly worried about that fact, so he left the flask in her possession.
“It was wonderful, but terrifying, Dev.” Warwick yawned, but no one rebuked him for not covering his mouth. “Especially for Emily, who does not like heights.”
“Don’t you?” James looked at his sister. “I never knew that.”
“There is mush you don’t know about me,” she said, attempting to focus on him but failing. She tried to stretch up to get a better look, but when that didn’t work, she gave up, slumping into her seat and sipping from the flask.
“She’s going to have a hell of a headache in the morning,” Cam said softly.
Max reached for the flask, but she clutched it to her chest, so he left it there.
“Yes, I know that. Perhaps one day you could tell me,” James said.
She shook her head. At least color had crept back into her cheeks, making her look less like a ghost.
“My p-pasht... past,” she corrected, “h-has too many demons to share, brother. I would not wish to burden you.”
“Your brothers have broad shoulders, sister.” James’s words were gruff as he looked down at her. Cam could see the emotion he battled to suppress. “We would be more than happy to carry some of your burdens.”
The others were quiet, listening to the conversation. It was probably not the place for it, but the fact that she was talking, and acknowledging her past, was an opportunity too good to miss. Warwick, Cam was pleased to note, was now dozing against Dev.
“I try to sh-shut them out.” Emily squeezed her eyes closed.
“Of your head?”
Her eyes sprang open as she nodded. “They are too p-painful.”
“We are here to listen when you are ready, sister.” Everyone heard the pain in Max’s voice. “Remember that we all carry demons; some are just more heinous than others.”
She thought about that as her eyes went slowly around the carriage. It was perhaps the first time he had ever seen Emily truly unguarded. Her defenses were down; brandy had driven them away briefly.
“You are all very nichhh people.”
“Thank you,” Dev said solemnly.
“And you”—she pointed the flask at Cam—“you f-force me to be a lioness, not a mousshh.”
Her eyes then began to close and she fell sideways onto the duke’s shoulder. Seconds later, like Warwick, she slept.
James inhaled deeply.
“What the hell was that supposed to mean?” Cam asked the carriage.
“Your continual poking and jabbing at her makes her be the person she wished she could be all the time, is my guess.” Dev shrugged.
His brother’s words eased some of the tightness in Cam’s chest.
“What did she suffer?” James looked devastated.
“We don’t know, but it’s a start that she spoke of her life before us, brother.” Max gripped his shoulder.
It was, Cam thought as the carriage took them back to London. Today he’d learned something about himself. Learned that Emily Tolly had come to mean a great deal more to him than any woman before her. The thought of losing her had told him that.
I turn her into a lioness. Why that thought made him smile he didn’t know, but smile he did.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Emily walked into the Winslow charity ball on James’s arm, one week after her balloon adventure. She rarely, if ever, attended social functions, but this was an event to raise money for several of their family’s charities. Lilly looked after children who lived on the streets, and often needed medical care or a place to hide. Max ran several houses for children who had been mistreated also. Both were hoping to raise awareness tonight for the plights of those children, and so all the family was in attendance.
Emily had agreed to come purely to support them, as she had on two previous occasions. She often attended the theatre with her family, and other places members of society would be, but never a society ball or event.
“Relax, Emily.”
James whispered the words in her ear. She nodded, but could still not draw in a deep, steadying breath. A few noblemen would be in attendance, those who owed their support to Max in return for his help in various ventures. James was one, but he was also family, and came to support his brother and Lilly.
She has been with this family long enough now to feel one of us.
Cam’s words often circled around inside her head since that day he’d spoken them. She had not seen a great deal of him since the balloon incident, but when she had, he acted as if nothing between them had changed... but it had, they both knew that. She’d told him that he turned her into a lioness, and he had not used that against her... the old Cam would have. In fact, he was a great deal nicer to her, which in itself was unsettling.
“Breathe in and out, that’s it.”
“Thank you, James, I know how to breathe.”
She remembered it all, the brandy she’d consumed, and how it had loosened her tongue. She’d told them her past held demons, and since that day, her brothers had spent a great deal of time in her company, even coming to her room should she be hiding in it. They were slowly getting to know each other better, and Emily had to admit she was very happy about that. She was trying harder to speak openly, trying to be the woman she wanted to be.
“I read your article in The Trumpeter today.”
“Really?” She looked up at James.
“It was extremely il
luminating and well written, Emily. I enjoyed it very much, as did Samantha.”
She felt ridiculously happy about that. She’d told him the day after the balloon trip about her writing, and he had been proud of her.
“Thank you.”
He patted her hand.
Cam had spoken briefly about The Trumpeter, and asked her to write as many articles as she could. He’d told her there would be more discussions, but until he knew intimately how the place ran, they could wait.
Warwick had written her a letter of apology and delivered it in person, and she was pleased that the little boy had shown no ill effects from his adventure.
“Smile, Emily.”
“Yes, Eden.”
Her stomach clenched as they walked through the crowds. The evening was a cold one, with a light dusting of snow on the ground. Fires roared in the two large hearths in the ballroom, and branches of candles were dotted everywhere, while candelabras hung suspended above the guests.
“You look lovely, Emily.”
“Thank you, James.”
She felt his eyes on her face.
“I mean those words, sister.”
Emily looked at him. His frown had drawn a line across his brows.
“I’m sorry, James.” The words came out before she could stop them.
“For what?”
“Everything.” Emily exhaled. How did she begin to explain her behavior to him, when she’d struggled to understand it herself? But lately, she’d thought it necessary to at least attempt to try. Especially as he was trying so hard to forge a relationship with her.
Emily was changing, and with that change she had begun to see herself as others did. Cam’s words had triggered that change when he accused her of hiding away from her family, and life.
“I’m fairly sure you did not chew Eden’s new satin slippers. That was the fault of that beastly Whiskers. For a small animal, he can cause a large amount of trouble,” James said.
She laughed, as he’d wanted her to.
“Our relationship is progressing, Emily, but there is still much to speak of. We are long overdue for a talk, but it will not take place here, for all these people to witness.”
She did not say anything further, simply nodded, and then before she lost her courage, rose to her toes and kissed his cheek.
“Thank you, James.”
Eden was on James’s other arm, and Dev and Lilly walked behind them. Max and Essie beyond them. Cam, Essie had told her, was running late.
Emily found the blank expression she had perfected for just such an occasion... or any time when she felt out of her depth. She could do this if for no other reason than her family deserved her support.
“Duke.”
“Lord Howe.”
James bowed perfectly, and Lilly dipped into a curtsey that was elegant and spoke of years doing just that. Emily exhaled slowly and followed suit.
“Relax, Em.”
“Yes, James.”
“If you make a mistake it will not matter here, you know. Those from society that are in attendance do so knowing they walk among people in trade, industrialists, and those that have made their money from investing, like Max.”
“I understand that, James, but I have no wish to embarrass you.”
“You have never embarrassed me, and I doubt you could,” James whispered. “Besides, when I first entered society, I tripped on the stairs halfway down to the ballroom and rolled to the bottom, where I landed on Lady Walters. She screeched, and fell backward into the arms of her husband, and as she is not what you would call a delicate woman, he was forced to stagger backward, standing on Mr. Grislow’s gout-swollen foot. The results, I assure you, were not pleasant, and all parties are still not speaking to me.”
“Is that actually true?” Max asked.
“Absolutely. It was, and always will be, the single most embarrassing moment of my life.”
“So even dukes are subject to censure... illuminating,” Max drawled.
“Brother, I may be a duke, but let me assure you I still get my share of censure from many people who do not like my beliefs or the stances I take in the House of Lords.”
“That is hard to believe,” Emily said. “I-I mean, most people appear to bend over backward to appease you.”
“Some, yes, but not all, and there is the matter of all that simpering and fawning that makes me shudder. Believe me, it is not all pleasant.”
“I had not thought of that,” Max said. “We, your minions, just enter a room as part of your flotilla, basking in your magnificence. I had no idea that you were not universally adored.”
“I don’t universally adore him,” Eden said.
“Nor I,” Essie added.
“I never have and likely never will,” Dev drawled.
James snorted.
“You would be even more arrogant were we to do so,” Eden added. “We mere mortals keep your large feet solidly planted in the soil.”
“Thank you, Duchess.” James kissed his wife’s cheek.
They walked, and were often waylaid by those wishing to discuss business with Max, James, and Dev.
“Good evening.” Wolf Sinclair joined them, looking handsome in uniform. “May I have this dance, Miss Tolly?”
“Captain Sinclair.” Emily sank into the curtsey. “It would be my pleasure.” As long as I remember the steps and do not trip over his feet.
He led her onto the dance floor where others were assembling.
“Cambridge was waylaid in the hallway by two men. He is a popular man.”
“Yes, he has many friends I am sure, Captain.”
“Please call me Wolf.”
“And I am Emily.”
He was as tall as Cam, with the Sinclair looks. Emily wondered why her heart did not beat a little harder when he was near, as it did with Cam.
“And are you enjoying lodging with him?”
“Oh indeed. He is an interesting man, with a great depth of knowledge. I have already learned so much, and with his help hope to make a few business investments.”
“I am pleased you have settled in so well.”
The dance was one she knew, and while she counted the steps under her breath and kept her eyes on those opposite, she managed to acquit herself well enough.
“I heard about the ballooning incident, and am glad you have recovered, Emily,” Wolf said, escorting her back to her family.
“May I have this dance, Miss Tolly?” Mr. Jackson stepped into their path.
Her hesitation was brief, but Wolf felt it.
“Miss Tolly is tired. I am escorting her back to her family.”
“And yet we are friends, are we not, Miss Tolly. She will surely not refuse me?”
Emily felt the muscles under Wolf’s jacket stiffen, and knew she must take action before he said anything further. She doubted he would make a scene, but still she did not wish for heated words to be exchanged when one dance would cause her no harm.
“Of course, Mr. Jackson, it would be my pleasure to dance with you.”
“Excellent.”
She left the captain’s side, but felt his eyes on her as she returned to the floor. Why she suddenly felt uncomfortable with Mr. Jackson, Emily had no idea, but she did. Since that day at the balloon event, she had come to realize his views on the role of a woman in the marriage were not to her liking, which in turn meant she had no wish to be in his company.
He moved to take his place across from her in the line, and Emily forced herself to return his smile.
Mr. Jackson was as different as night is to day from Cam and the other men in her life, and Emily knew that if ever she married, it would not be to someone like the man across from her. She would want a man just like those in her life.
Like Cam Sinclair.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
“Care to tell me why you look like you’ve eaten something vile, Lilly?”
Cam moved to his sister-in-law’s side after leaving the two men who had wished to discuss hi
s acquisition of The Trumpeter.
He and Wolf had arrived late after a large meal that then led to a glass of port. He liked his cousin very much, and was enjoying tutoring him on investments and other aspects of London life.
“Do I? Forgive me?”
“Of course, but you still have yet to answer my question.”
He located Emily dancing with Mr. Jackson, which annoyed him because he’d thought for sure after the incident in the park that he’d scared the man away.
He tried to not catalogue every inch of her as she moved through the steps of the dance. She danced well, seeing as he didn’t think she’d been in such a setting more than a few times, or danced those steps in public often.
“That dress is a trifle low,” he growled to Lilly before he could stop himself. Emily wore a deep, rich cream, almost beige, with an overdress of matching lace that was trimmed on the edges with satin, and the bodice was low enough that he could see the creamy swells of her breasts. The lace appeared as if it was wrapped around her, because one side curved from the hem, up and across her hips on a diagonal, and disappeared around the back. Cam swallowed as he imagined exploring where that end went.
“Emily’s dress is fine. Now concentrate, Cam.”
“On what, Lilly?” He couldn’t drag his eyes from her. He hair was bundled on top of her head and secured with two cream satin bands, and no doubt a card of pins.
“I want to know why you behaved the way you did that day with Emily. Just after she had been abducted.”
“That happened weeks ago. Why does it now have you looking like you’ve sucked lemon?” He should walk over there and plant his fist in Jackson’s face; the man was entirely too forward with Emily. Cam could see his eyes roving over her body. The fact that his eyes had done the same had no bearing.
“I have not had a moment to discuss the matter with you, and while I did not agree with the way you approached the matter, Cam, I cannot fault you for your accuracy.”
Dragging his eyes from the subject of conversation, he looked at Lilly.
“That look was severe, Lilly. Surely there is more bothering you than something that happened many weeks ago?” Cam had no wish to discuss Emily with anyone seeing as he had no idea how he felt about her yet.