Leave it to me not to measure! But he took the door off the fridge, made it just narrow enough, while the delivery guys just stood and insisted they weren’t allowed to make modifications to anything – appliances and doors alike.
Thomas always knew what to do. He always had a plan.
I had to believe that was true now, too.
I can still taste you on my lips.
The message came across as I held the phone in my hands. I gasped slightly, my head and my heart so full of him that it felt like I’d just pulled it out of the air.
Come taste me again.
There was a long moment before his response came. But then it did and I was sending him my address even though I wasn’t supposed to give it out to anyone. Yet, I knew deep down that Audra and Shaw would understand. Joss too, maybe. Maybe Joss most of all.
***
I greeted him at the door in a pair of boxer briefs I’d actually stolen from him when they got tangled in the sheets of my bed one night. And a tee that barely covered my midriff. He lifted me into his arms the moment the door opened, kicking it closed with his heel as he carried me into the bedroom. We fell onto the creaking bed, his weight familiar and comforting against my body.
“God, I’ve missed you,” he groaned as he stole my lips, his hands already moving under the tee to cup my breasts. I sighed against him, tugging the t-shirt he wore up to his arm pits, my hands running over the defined muscles along his abdomen, his chest. There was a fine spattering of hair between his nipples, the same curly little wisps that grew along the thin line between his navel and the base of his cock. It was silky against my fingers, an insane contrast from the hard flesh underneath.
I’d always believed that men were visual and women were sensual when it came to sex, but I had to argue that point when it came to Tommy. I loved the warm browns and caramels of his skin, the ridges of his ribs, the thick protrusion of his hips. It wasn’t just about his handsome face, although it was probably one of the most handsome faces I’d ever seen—he’d give Shemar Moore a run for his money any day. It was his body that really got my blood pumping. Just touching his arms, feeling the power that vibrated there, made my juices run like nothing else.
I’d say when it came to Tommy, I was both visual and sensual.
We kissed for a long time, our hands exploring territory that was already recognizable but never completely familiar. I slid my hands over his back, his ribs, traced patterns along his sides, under the top edge of his jeans. I wanted to touch him everywhere, but I wanted him to touch me more.
Oh, God, I wanted him to touch me!
He pulled my tee over my head and buried his head between my breasts, breathing deeply of my scent. And then his tongue was teasing one nipple, his fingers rolling the other between their knuckles. When he began to nibble at me, I thought I would scream, it felt so good. I arched my back, drawing him closer as I moved my hips against his thigh. He had to have known the power he had over me in that minute, but he was moving slowly, taking his time. He was stealing little looks up at my face, the spark of a smile in his eyes even as his full lips moved to slip along the center of my body.
I watched him make his way over my body, lay still as he tugged my boxers over my hips. If he wasn’t going to satisfy my needs, I wasn’t going to be in a hurry to help him out. But then he forced my knees apart and my heart jumped up in my throat as every nerve jumped to attention, anticipating what was surely to come.
He lifted my ankle, ran his hand over my foot, the same foot Sam had molested at the motel. He drew my big toe into his mouth, the sensation of his mouth around my toe so different from what it’d felt like when Sam did it. Even the little glance he threw down to my open cunt was different from the ones Sam had enjoyed.
He licked the bone on the side of my ankle, moving slowly up my leg until he was nibbling at my inner thigh. I groaned, tugging his head around to that one place I so desperately wanted his touch, to the throbbing clit that stood up in the very core of my body. But he pulled out of my reach and began again on the other foot, moving slowly down the inside of my leg until he was once again nibbling at my inner thigh.
I cried out with pleasure as much as frustration.
He lifted off his shirt and began to unbuckle his jeans. It was a sight I will forever treasure, a memory to pull out on cold days when I was too old to relive moments such as this one. His muscles flexed and his skin glowed gold in the dim light. I sat up and helped him with his pants, no longer craving his mouth, but something more intense, something more satisfying.
It was my turn to nibble. I slipped my lips over his chest, nibbling at the tender skin along his ribs, his hips. He grunted, his hand smoothing itself over the back of my skull. Then his pants were down around his knees and his beautiful body was right there for me to see, for me to use. I knew exactly what I wanted to do with it.
Before I could do more than wrap my fist around his shaft, he pushed me back down against the pillows. He threw himself down on the mattress beside me and, for a moment, I wasn’t sure what it was he was doing. And then I saw it.
He wanted me to take control. He wanted me to have all the power.
My heart swelled in my chest as it hit me what he was doing and why. I crawled into his arms and kiss his neck, his jaw, tears dripping over my skin onto his.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered for what must have been the millionth time. “I will never hurt you like that again.”
I kissed him with all the emotion that had swirled around inside of me all week – anger, hurt, affection, and gratitude all rolling into one another. Then I drew him to me, guiding him inside of me.
“I love you,” I whispered against his ear, more afraid than I think I’d ever been.
I didn’t love easily. When you grow up a stranger in other people’s homes, you learn to withhold affection, learn that it hurts less to not fall in love with people who are likely to be temporary parts of your life. I’d only said those words to one person, to Daniel, and that had come years into our relationship. I’d known Tommy for slightly less than six months, yet it felt right to utter those little words.
He pushed himself up on his arms, his mouth so close to mine as he whispered them back.
“I love you more than I ever wanted to. More than I ever imagined I was capable of.”
We kissed again, our lips lingering for a long moment. And then he lay against the pillows, his hands pressed to the mattress, and I straightened my back, moving my hips as I tilted my head to the ceiling. Tears continued to run down my cheeks as pleasure joined emotion and created an intense quaking deep in my body.
I could feel his eyes on me as I moved, could feel his breath catching in his chest. I knew if I looked at him, I’d lose all concentration. I touched myself, my hands sliding over my belly, up over my breasts. He gasped when I pinched my own nipples, tugging them out from my body. And then he couldn’t keep his hands away, his palms slipping over my thighs as his thumbs sought out my clit.
I touched his wrists, drew his hands closer to me. A moment later, he was sitting up, his hands all over me as he encouraged me to move faster, deeper. But it wasn’t enough. He flipped me onto my back and plowed inside of me, the need too wild for the gentle rhythm I’d established.
It was so good! I wrapped my legs around him, my fingernails digging into his skin. We moved to a rough rhythm of our own design, taking from each other everything we were offering and more.
When my orgasm hit, I couldn’t stop the little scream that escaped my throat. I held tightly to him, afraid he'd disappear if I let go. But he was still there, his own pleasure rushing through him with such intensity that he cried out as well, his mouth buried against the pillow where I rested my head.
He rolled onto his side when it was done, tugging me into the curve of his body as he did. I pulled his arms tight around me and closed my eyes.
“We could run away. Always be like this.”
“That would be paradise.”
> He nuzzled against the side of my head. I moved my hips back against him, wanting to be as close as possible.
“I want you to stay away from the motel.”
I closed my eyes. So much for paradise.
“I’m doing a job, Tommy. One that’s very important to my boss.”
“I know. But this is about to get very messy.”
“Who was she?”
He tensed, his arms like steel rods around me for a moment. Then he slowly relaxed, his hands cupping my arms rather than restraining them.
“My sister.”
Chapter 16
Thomas
“We weren’t really related, but I called her sister. And she called me brother.”
I could feel the curiosity seeping from her like sweat from pores. I ran my hands over her belly then let her go, rolling onto my back as she turned onto her side, resting her hands on my chest as she studied my face.
“I told you my mom was an addict, right?”
“You did.”
“She was mostly clean after I was born. There were relapses and those got bad, but she was mostly clean. She still had friends in the life that she’d try to help out from time to time, you know?”
She nodded, a hand sliding down the center of my belly.
“One of those friends had six kids, all born during the height of her addiction, all with different fathers, most johns.” I waited for the gasp of surprise I normally got from women when I talked about addiction. But she just continued to listen quietly. I sometimes forgot that she came from a similar world to mine. “They were taken from her after she was busted for cocaine possession. She went up for a long time, one of those three-strikes things, you know? Most of her kids went into the system. Some were adopted, some weren’t. But her thirteen-year-old daughter, Lisa, she came to live with us. I don’t know how or why that happened, but it did. She lived with me and my mom until my mom died.”
I slid my hand over her arm, her hip, loving the curves of her body. She moved her hand, too, sliding it over my pecs, her nails scraping my nipples until I had to grab her hand and press it down onto the bed between us.
“She became something like a second mother to me. When my mom slipped again and lost her job, it was Lisa who cleaned up the messes, who got me up and dressed for school, who made sure I was fed and taken care of. Without her…I was only three when she came to live with us. My mom was great when she was there, but she wasn’t always there. Lisa was everything to me.”
I closed my eyes for a second, filled with memories of my older sister. Even toward the end when my mom contracted liver failure from her use of needles, Lisa kept me distracted, kept me laughing even when I wanted to cry. She was super protective of both me and my mom, arguing with the doctors in the hallway one moment, making jokes to me the next. When I hear the term ‘tiger mother’ I don’t think of an overprotective mother. I think of Lisa.
I think of love and security and family.
“I joined the Marines after high school. My mom had been gone for nearly two years by then. Lisa put herself through junior college and had an associate degree in management. She used it to get a job managing a local restaurant. That’s what she was doing when I left. I didn’t know she’d taken the job at the nightclub until a few months before she disappeared.”
I could feel the tension settling into my body like a familiar blanket. Kari must have felt it, too, because she began stroking my arm in that way people do when they want to make you feel better about something. I leaned over and kissed her lightly on the temple.
“I didn’t want to think about Lisa’s disappearance, the years that went by during which no one did much of anything to look for her. The cops thought she’d probably run off with some boyfriend. Look at where she came from, what she was doing for a living, they would say. What they didn’t bother to learn about her was the fact that she took the job at Colony Nights because it paid twice what she’d been making before. She was saving up to go back to college. She wanted to get a bachelor degree in management, maybe invest in her own business someday. She had plans, dreams. And they included me.”
I still had letters in which she talked about the house she would one day buy and the room she’d decorate and set aside for me.
“I would not be the man I am now if not for her. She kept me out of trouble when I was a teenager, kept me away from the wrong sorts of people. Without her, I might have ended up in a gang or on drugs like my mother. I might have been an angry man with a chip on my shoulder. Instead…”
“You’re a loving brother with revenge on your mind.”
I touched the side of her face, drew her up to me with all the tenderness I could summon. “It’s not right what happened to her. It’s not right how the cops just wrote her off.”
“It’s not.”
“I became an FBI agent because of her, but also because she’d always believed I could make a difference. I wanted to show her she hadn’t put her faith in the wrong place.”
“You are a good man. I’ve always known that.”
“I just need to make this right.”
She nodded, but there was a cloud crossing her expression that worried me. I brushed my thumb over her cheek, drawing down her bottom lip a little. “What?”
She sighed heavily. “They know.”
“Who knows what?”
“The FBI. They know where you are, they know you’re after Sam Wilson.”
That sent a chill through me. I sat up, drawing her up with me. “What do you mean?”
“My boss has been working with Mike Spencer for months. He has some FBI agents backing us up on this thing and they spotted you. I guess they recognized you and alerted him.”
I cursed under my breath. “Why is Mike working this case?” But I knew why. He was head of the Mahoney task force, a major part of the reason why I knew where Sam Wilson was. Mike brought me in on the Red Door case. It was supposed to be a temporary assignment, but I managed to convince him to add me to the task force full time. I knew Mahoney was after Joss Matthews’ husband, knew Mike thought it was because of something she’d done in the past. And I knew about the murder of Case Michaels down in Mexico at the hands of one of Gray Wolf’s operatives. It was part of the reason I’d sought out Kari. I saw the Gray Wolf logo on her jacket the day she moved in, knew she was a new operative for the security firm. I hadn’t meant to fall for her, never intended to insinuate myself into her bed. But I wanted to be close to anyone who might have information I could use to rid the world of Lisa’s murderer.
“He and Joss have made it some sort of mission to rid the city of Mahoney’s people. That’s why I’m on this case, why the job at the motel. They want Todd Michaels because they believe he’s the key to finding the rest of Mahoney’s stragglers in the area.”
I nodded, my thoughts spinning. “Why haven’t they pulled me out?”
“I convinced them you could be an asset.”
“Why would you do that?” I pulled her close to me, pressed my lips to the tip of her nose. “Why would you do that?”
“Because I know it’s true.”
I groaned, pulling her hard against me. “This could end in a disaster, Kari. We could both lose our jobs. Hell, we could both end up in prison.”
“I don’t think so. I think we’ll take down the bad guys and make everything right in Santa Monica. That’s what we do.”
I laughed. “You make us sound like superheroes.”
“We are.”
I rolled toward her, tugging her body gently under mine. I kissed her, my lips lingering as she immediately reached between our bodies and grasped me in the palm of her hand.
“You are incredible,” I whispered as she guided me to her.
“You’re pretty impressive yourself.”
I would have laughed, but my mind was suddenly on other things.
If we were going to hell, we were going to have a good time getting there!
Chapter 17
Joss
“How’s McKelty? Does she have a football game this week?”
“She does. She’s going to miss it.”
I could hear the tension in Carrington’s voice. He wasn’t looking directly at the camera on his computer so I couldn’t see his eyes, but I knew there was anger there. He still blamed me for this forced exile.
“I’m sorry. We’re working as fast as we can to get rid of the threat.”
“I’m aware. Ash updates me daily.”
That made my eyebrows rise. Ash hadn’t asked for an update in days.
“McKelty’s not talking to anyone new, not doing anything out of the norm?”
“Of course not.”
“She’s not—”
“She’s not doing anything, Joss. None of us are. We’re stuck in this house, maintaining a daily routine that isn’t ours because of Mahoney and his goons. Isn’t this what you wanted?”
“No. I wanted you safe, at home. But sometimes we can’t have what we want.”
“Hi, Mommy!”
Aidan’s little six-year-old face suddenly appeared on my computer screen. She was smiling widely, her dimples showing.
“Hi, darling! How are you?”
“I’m okay. I miss you, though.”
“I miss you, too, baby. Very much.”
“I have a new friend. I talk to her three whole times a day. Did you know that?”
“Do you?”
“Her name is Shauna and she says that she’ll take me to Disneyland very soon! Isn’t that exciting, Mommy?”
“That’s very exciting, Aidan.”
“Aunt Mina’s teaching us school. Did you know that, Mommy?”
“I knew she was helping you with your homework.”
Aidan nodded, her curls bouncing around her head. “She is. And she’s much nicer than my real teacher.”
“I’m glad, Aidan.”
She glanced over her shoulder, then looked back at me. “I have to go. She’s ready to teach.”
Aidan disappeared from the screen as quickly as she had appeared. My happy, beautiful, little girl. At least there was one member of the family who still loved me, one I didn’t have to worry about as much as the others.
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