by Jolene Perry
I stand, stunned for a few minutes before stepping around the two boys. Ocean touches my arm slightly as I walk past, and gives me a little smile. Relief relaxes me as I give him a half smile back and his little smile turns into a full on grin, which means I stumble, and have to grab the railing before going over the side of the boat.
Guess I sort of know where I stand with Ocean, I just have no idea how to move forward.
Out of the corner of my eye, Landon smirks and gives Ocean a nudge with his elbow, and I’m suddenly one of the crowd. One of the people that other people talk to and about because I’m here and Micah’s felt what I’ll feel or what I do feel and Landon didn’t throw me overboard, and I don’t feel like a prisoner anymore and it’s almost like having friends. Almost.
“Ocean likes you a lot,” Micah says as I sit down next to her on the front of the boat.
“How do you—” Right. Insight. “Nevermind.” But the hope swells inside me, and I remember again that I don’t want to be dealing with two things at once. I need to handle the shadow situation, and then I can deal with how I’m feeling for Ocean.
“I don’t mean to, you know,” she says as she drops her legs over the front of the boat, letting them hang.
“Don’t mean to what?”
“Be a part of those moments in people’s lives. Landon’s made me feel better about it, and when I thought I’d lost my gift once I panicked, but I’d be okay without it.”
“Is that your fear?” I wonder. “Being without your gift and not what the shadows might do?”
Have they not listened to me at all?
“So, Ocean.” She turns toward me.
“I don’t want to talk about Ocean.” I shake my head, wanting to know where she stands on Landon trying to help the shadows.
“I do. Just for a little bit.”
And because I’m supposed to be playing nice and play along, I ask, “What do you want to know?”
Micah smiles. “Don’t sound so excited about sharing.”
“Sorry.” I try to re-group and wonder how little I can tell her but still relay what I want to. “I don’t have a lot of experience with—”
“Being around normal people?” she suggests.
“Not a one of us is normal.”
Micah shrugs. “Guess it’s all in your definition then. Landon was the second boy I kissed, ever.”
I open my mouth to tell her Ocean was my first, but keep it in. I glance behind me and can just make out the blond heads of Landon and Ocean at the steering station.
“Ocean is good all the way through. The emotions I get from him are so pure. It’s a little astounding.” She’s now looking back where I just was.
“Look, Micah…” I start as she stays focused on the boys.
She turns, now staring at the ocean, pointedly not looking at me. “I’m going to trust Landon and do whatever he decides.”
“But what if it kills us all?”
“I spent almost all of my life afraid of who I was. What I am. What I can do. I never told anyone because I couldn’t stand the thought of losing the very few people around me. Long before Landon knew what he could do and long before I understood anything about where my talent came from or The Middle Men or anything, he loved me. Me. With all of my crazy flaws, and fear of people and of him. He took everything without hesitation.” I don’t need Insight to know that Micah’s love runs deep and that she came from a darker place than I can understand.
I’ve grown up with so much pride in what I can do. In my talent. And she grew up afraid of it, and on top of that was hit with the emotions of everyone who touched her. It’s maybe a little amazing that she’s isn’t a complete mental case.
“I’ve never seen Landon broken the way he is now. And if when we get there, he wants to move forward with whatever we’re supposed to do, I’m ready to face the consequences with him.”
“That’s insane. You know this, right? Would you leap off a cliff if he asked you to?” This is another reason that getting involved with someone who has matching energy might not be the best idea. Total insanity.
“You and I both know that’s not the same.” Micah shakes her head. “And what if we’re right and it works? What if we’re able to let all of these people die in peace the way they weren’t allowed to three hundred years ago? How incredible would it be to be part of something like that?”
I swallow once before I can find my voice. “But, Micah. You have felt how afraid I am. It’s real. What I know is real. My scar is real. The danger is real. Do you remember being afraid when you saw the shadows? Do you remember how your chest tightened up and you ran? That’s instinct. Don’t let them fool you into thinking they’re something they’re not.”
Micah covers her face with her hands for a moment before pulling in a deep breath and looking at me again, her blonde hair is positively wild around her face. “And you remember that Landon told you to come out here even knowing how I’m unsure and knowing how you would try to persuade me. He’s not going into this blind.”
“No.” I shake my head. “He’s going into this completely and totally deceived. I’m not saying he’s not smart. I’m saying they’ve had three hundred years to prepare just how to get people with energy to come here.”
It takes everything in me not to scream as Micah stands and walks back to Landon, leaving me on the front of the boat by myself. I’m sure he’s going to go through with it, and if that’s the case, maybe I should just jump off the boat now and see where I end up. The water’s warm, and there are lots of small cayes around here. I could hole up for a while. I’ve got my watch, and I’m not without survival skills.
I lean over the front of the boat. It would be so easy. Just step off, rip the stupid metallic tape off my watch, and call for help. Not that the metallic tape can stop the transmission, it just might slow it down. I wonder if they can pinpoint my location now that the storm is clearing and if they can, how disappointed my parents might be.
“Please stay, Kara.” Ocean sits next to me.
He had to know what I was just thinking.
“I will, but I’m failing. I don’t know who else to talk to. How to convince them.”
“I asked Landon last night to talk with everyone and ask them to really give your knowledge on this some thought. I think they will.” There’s a wonderful kind of innocence about Ocean, even though I’m sure he’s not innocent—he’s way too good at talking to people and touching me for that. My mind picks up on what Micah said a few moments ago in how pure his emotions are and I start to really wonder what he feels for me.
No, Kara. One problem at a time.
“What do you think they’ll decide?” I ask.
“I don’t know.”
“And what will you decide?” The words hurt coming out because I want him to take me in his arms and tell me that he’ll be with me, no matter what.
So much for one problem at a time.
He takes my hand in his and rests his two hands on my one. “I’m sorry, Kara. I don’t know yet. I wish I could believe everyone, but I can’t. I don’t know what to do.”
My heart squeezes a little because I want him to trust me like Micah trusts Landon. But as I watch his hair blow in the wind and feel our hands together, our energy mixing together, I know it’s going to take more than want. We’re too new for that kind of trust. But I want it, whatever Landon and Micah have, whatever Dean and Addison have, and for me, that’s a big deal.
“They’re in there talking now. I’m going to go back. Do you want to sit in, or…?”
“No. I can’t take it. I’ve already told them what I want to say. You could just remind them, okay? I need to be alone.” I have too much to process because when he’s around, and I forget that there are other things more pressing than how I feel.
He pulls our hands up together and kisses mine sending shivering waves through me that I want to find a way to get more of. “I wish that we’d had time together before this.”
“If w
e’re lucky, we’ll have time after.” I squeeze his hand, and he leans over until his nose touches my cheek and his warn breath tickles my neck.
He gives me a quick kiss before standing up and walking to the back of the boat to talk.
I’m dancing inside for Ocean and dreading learning the outcome of their little chat. I guess the best I can hope for is continued postponements.
Seems like kind of a lame wish when all I really want right now, and for the first time ever, is to be home, to be normal, and to go on a real date with Ocean
TWENTY-THREE
Kara
I’m glad for the time alone, but I need to know what’s going on inside the boat. Just before I start to stand, Ocean steps next to me and sits. “Nothing’s decided, but we’re going to Long Island.”
I give him a smile as a lie to say that I’m okay. I’m not okay, I just can’t formulate what to do.
“I know you have to be thinking a million things right now.”
“Too many to put into words.” I lean against him and he pulls me in front of him, wrapping his arms around my middle and resting his chin on my shoulder.
The energy pushes between us and swirls around us and I can barely take a deep breath.
“Relax into it, Kara.” He pulls his arms more tightly. I close my eyes and try to force my body to relax, but it’s so hard.
“That’s a little better.” He chuckles. “One day you’ll be able to really relax when I hold you, and it’ll be perfect.”
“One day.” And because I want to give him something to show him I’m trying and that I want him around, I turn my head until his lips touch mine. His kiss is soft and unhurried and everything I wanted for my first kiss. In my mind, this one can be it. This is the first time we’ve kissed when it belonged to both of us.
“I’m falling for you, you stubborn girl.” He smiles and kisses the corner of my mouth.
I pull his arms more tightly around me. “Me, too.”
The wind has filled the sails, and we’re really moving now. I’m actually on a boat with no way off and no say in what happens. There’s almost a calm, peaceful feeling in knowing that it’s all out of my hands. Thinking about what I’ll tell my parents starts turning my stomach inside out, and thinking about the shadows does the same thing, so I stare out at the water instead.
Ocean and Landon crawl on the top of the boat together, leaving Micah at the wheel, and Dean and Addison who knows where.
Landon and Ocean sit close, like brothers, and Landon’s holding his phone in both hands and staring.
“Here we go.” Landon grins as he starts to dial. “I don’t have much time before we’re traced, so it needs to count.”
I glance between them again. They move like brothers, sit like brothers, have the same smile.
Ocean waves once to say I can join them, and before giving it much thought, I climb onto the roof with them, just close enough to hear. Ocean immediately takes my hand and smiles, so I scoot a little closer.
“Hello?” A man answers the other end of the line.
“Hey, Dad,” Landon says.
“Where the hell are you? I have people breathing down my neck. I’m up to my ass in appropriations committee paperwork or I’d be down there hunting your ass.”
Landon’s still, holding the phone between he and Ocean. “I met my twin brother the other day. You have about thirty seconds to give me the rundown if you ever want to have any kind of relationship with me again.” Landon’s voice is calm but forceful, and I’m holding my breath as I wait to see what happens.
There’s a long pause.
“Well, that just sucks, Dad.” Landon’s face contorts as he holds the phone out almost as if he’s about to throw it.
Micah’s behind Landon in seconds, her arms around his middle and her face pressed against his shoulder.
“Wait!” His dad yells. “Belinda. God. She was…everything. Amazing.”
Landon’s eyes meet Ocean’s, and Ocean nods. His mother.
“Her and I. You and I have the same gift, Landon. But you’re more powerful than anyone I’ve seen. Belinda and I loved each other and hated each other, and when it was on it was…everything. But when we weren’t, we’d both get caught up in a rage we had a hard time controlling. We loved each other, but we couldn’t live like that. No one could live like that and stay sane. Too much energy.”
“Dad.” Landon stops him. “I have older brothers.”
There’s another pause. “Belinda left The Middle Men and begged to be left alone. I love your mother. Your… The woman who raised you.”
“Does she know?” Landon asks.
Mr. Michaels scoffs. “She knows you’re mine. And she knows she didn’t give birth to you, yes.”
“But—”
“The Middle Men asked if I’d check on Belinda. It had been years. Your mom was so distracted and we’d been fighting and it was stupid, yes. The moment I saw her it was like I’d never walked away. A day and a half later, we were screaming in anger like we did when we weren’t… Well. Doing other things.”
I can feel my cheeks heat up at Landon’s Dad’s admission, and then I start to wonder if this was my mom’s idea, because putting those two together to experiment as to what their children could do, definitely seems like something she’d try.
Landon checks the phone. “Ten seconds, Dad.”
“Sorry I didn’t tell you. But you need to turn around. You have no idea what you’re playing with out there—”
“Did you just come and pick one of us up?” Ocean snaps, but Mr. Michaels probably doesn’t know the difference between the voices of the two guys.
“The Middle Men told me when you and your brother were born. Twins, but not identical. She named both boys Ocean, and when I showed up we fought, like we did, and I refused to live without seeing my sons. She said she wouldn’t part with the one who had her talent, and that she wasn’t going to have a half-relationship with her own children and then she let you go.”
Landon slumps, Micah’s tears start falling and my chest caves in for both guys.
“Time,” Ocean whispers, pointing at the phone and trying to look normal.
“I’m not turning around, Dad.” And he hangs up.
I do for Ocean what he’d done for me not long ago and scoot around behind him to wrap my arms around him. The warmth of his body pushes into mine, and I lean my head on his back amazed at how natural it feels. He feels new, but there’s so much comfort that it’s like I’ve been with him forever. His arms rest over mine, and it hits me that he was exactly right—whatever we have between us has to be rare, and I’m trying to decide if I care that my energy is dictating part of this or not.
Ocean looks toward Landon as his fingers absently brush over mine. “I can’t believe Mom just let him take you.”
“So she could keep you.” There’s no hiding the hurt in Landon’s voice. “But my dad took me without looking back, and left you there.”
“Guess they are both assholes.” Ocean pushes out a laugh and I know I’m missing something here, because even Landon laughs, but it’s definitely forced.
Again, I ache a little wanting to make it better for Ocean. He’s right. Both parents pulled asshole moves. It’s not something I could ever really hope to understand.
“Come with me?” Ocean stands and I stop my arms off him follow him to the back of the boat. “Someone needs to check on the autopilot.”
Landon and Micah stretch out on the roof as the sun comes up and the wind nearly stops, slowing our movement to a crawl.
He sits on the edge of the seat, making room for me to sit next to him, which I take, even though my heart’s starting to go a little crazy. Ocean’s staring at me, but I can’t take it so I check over the navigation. Landon has this set up for beginners. Sheesh. If this is the kind of screen he needs to get around, he shouldn’t be out here. I push a few buttons and get the chart to work with his radar so the screen can be split or shared.
“Holy…�
� Ocean squints. “Awesome.”
“It’s my thing.” I push a few more buttons, and don’t even take the opportunity to set us on a different course. It’s not like Micah wouldn’t see the difference in our futures immediately. I have to take a deep breath to move my tightening chest as I think about how truly trapped I am.
“I love this energy between us,” Ocean whispers as his fingers stroke my leg.
“Doesn’t that worry you?”
“No. He wraps his arm around me. “No. Because I love how your stubborn mind works and I love that you fight for the things you care about.”
I pull away enough to see his face, but not enough that his arm can’t still hold me. “Even if you’re not sure if you agree?”
“Yep.” He frowns a little as he pulls me closer. “And with this whole thing with Landon, it feels really good to be close to you.”
I swallow a few times because I want to be for him what Micah is for Landon. How he relaxes the moment she touches him. I wrap my arms around his neck, feeling brave. “I’m sorry I don’t know what to do to make you feel better.”
“You’re here. That’s enough.” He squeezes my knee.
And this time I lean over and press my lips to his cheek, letting him hold me closer than I ever thought I would—even after the first time we touched and I knew how he’d feel next to me.
Dean and Addison stumble up the stairs from their room, holding hands, and looking bleary eyed. She turns and gives him a smile, and that small, intimate gesture makes me wish none of us were here because there’s this bubble of happiness around them that I don’t fully understand.
“You two have a nice night?” Landon winks. “Wink, wink, nudge, nudge…” He cackles as he flops down at the table on the back deck. Only an hour after talking with his dad, and he’s back to relaxed Landon. A little more haggard looking, but still Landon.
Instead of blushing, Addison steps into Dean’s arms.
“The Monty Python jokes are getting old!” Dean yells from inside the boat.