Theirs to Keep tht-1

by Maya Banks

  “Hey,” Cade said softly. “Why are you still awake?”

  “I wanted to wait up for you guys,” she said. “I didn’t get to talk to you earlier. It was frustrating.”

  Merrick scowled and then plopped onto the couch beside her, extolling a weary sigh that worried her.

  “It was damn frustrating,” he agreed in a low growl. “I didn’t want to go to a fucking party. I just wanted to come back to the room where it was quiet, pop a few pain pills and…see you.”

  She got a giddy thrill from the admission, but she latched onto the pain in his voice and the comment about pain medication.

  “What’s wrong?” she asked sharply.

  She turned, hovering over him on her knees, examining him for some sign of injury.

  Cade went to the bar and pulled out a bottle of water. Then he went to the pack on the countertop, pulled out a bottle of pills and shook out two. He carried them and the water over to Merrick and handed them to him.

  “What’s wrong with him?” Elle asked anxiously.

  Cade settled on her other side, his hand sliding soothingly down her back.

  “Fighting’s rough, honey. Just because he isn’t bleeding or cut open doesn’t mean he isn’t sore as hell. His ribs took a beating, and he got clocked a few times in the head.”

  “Do you need to go to the hospital?” Elle demanded, her hands automatically going to Merrick’s body.

  “Dallas has already had a look at me,” Merrick mumbled. “I’ll take it easy for the next few days, heal up, and then I’ll start all over again.”

  Elle gasped. “So soon?”

  “The title fight will be in a few months,” Cade said. “They’ll give him time to train, make sure Lash is healthy, and then they’ll set a date. Then they’ll start promoting. Things will get a little crazier for this. This is the big time, Elle. This is what Merrick’s been working for.”

  Was it a warning to her that she would be in the way? Would she be a hindrance to Merrick and his concentration? She hated the uncertainty of her position. That she wasn’t in any position of equality. She had…nothing. She was nothing.

  She lowered her head, not looking at either man.

  “Elle?”

  Merrick’s soft inquiry reached her ears, but she didn’t look up.

  He reached for her then, cautiously touching the side of her arm. He and Cade were both careful like that. As if they feared startling her.

  “Elle, he wasn’t saying that for any other reason than he wanted you to know what you were in for.”

  “I’ll be in the way,” she said quietly.

  A string of colorful curses burst from Cade. In an instant, she found herself turned and pulled onto Cade’s lap. The shock of his touch and the intimacy of their positions sent a jolt of awareness through her body.

  He cupped her chin and forced her gaze upward until she met his intense stare.

  “Listen to me,” he said succinctly. “You are not in the way. I didn’t say those things to make you think you aren’t welcome. I want you to be prepared for what’s to come. For someone who’s never experienced this sort of thing, it’s going to be overwhelming. Especially to someone who’s already fragile.”

  “I don’t want to be a burden,” she said earnestly. “I want Merrick to win. I don’t want to be a distraction.”

  Merrick reached for her hand and threaded his fingers through hers.

  “How about you let me worry about what is or isn’t a distraction? I want you here for this, Elle. We both do. We’re going to worry about you, and there’s nothing you can do about that, so deal with it, okay?”

  She nodded, relief making her light-headed.

  “Now, what do you say we go home tomorrow and get back into our routine?” Merrick said.

  It seemed so odd coming from this man. A man she’d seen in a whole different light tonight. He was a public figure. He had masses of adoring fans. He was a complete badass in the ring.

  But to her?

  He was her savior. A gentle giant with a heart of gold.

  For all the damage he could inflict on an opponent, he’d never touched her with anything but exquisite gentleness. It seemed impossible that the man who’d rescued her and who lived in a quiet neighborhood in the small town of Grand Junction was quite possibly the next IMMAO heavyweight champion.

  “Just like that?” she asked softly.

  Merrick looked at her in question.

  “You can turn it off just like that? Go back home to the quiet routine and shake off the hoopla surrounding the fight and your career?”

  He smiled, and it was a tired smile that showed the lines of fatigue and strain on his face.

  “Yeah, I can do that.”

  She leaned over him, worried and anxious. “Are you okay? Are you hurting still?”

  He opened his eyes and focused his stare on her, and then he smiled, easing some of the lines from his eyes.

  “Yeah, I hurt. I’m going to hurt for the next few days, but Dallas will take good care of me, and Cade always pulls his mother hen act after a fight. I’ll be fine, baby.”

  The soft endearment sent a shiver of pleasure coursing through her veins.

  “Then let’s go home,” she said softly.

  “Hell yeah,” Cade echoed.

  C H A P T E R T H I R T E E N

  “HAVE YOU MADE A MOVE yet?” Merrick asked quietly.

  Cade jerked his head around to stare at his friend. There was fire in his eyes. Anger. Surprise. And the beginnings of something that looked like fear.

  They were sitting in the kitchen of their house, both in tense, irritable moods because Elle had talked them into letting her go out to the grocery store by herself.

  After six months of them never letting her out of their sight and six months she’d spent recovering and gaining confidence, she’d wanted to venture out on her own, and it was making the two men nuts.

  She was always with either him or Cade. Whether it was her attending his training sessions or her going into the office with Cade. She spent every waking minute with at least one of them.

  Merrick worried that she would eventually get bored, but she seemed to soak up every aspect of his career as well as learn every part of his and Cade’s business.

  She studied the language and terms of mixed martial arts. She learned the holds, the positions, and studied his training regimen. She poked and nagged at him when he ate something he shouldn’t. She hovered when he seemed tired after a workout. And she studied his diet, memorizing the ins and outs and how much protein he needed to take in.

  In short, she’d fit in perfectly into his and Cade’s lives, and it was hard to remember what they’d ever done without her. It wasn’t something he wanted to contemplate—being without her.

  Which was why today made him antsy. Maybe it felt too much like she was chafing under the constraints she was placed under. Maybe he feared she was ready to move on.

  Merrick didn’t understand what she felt she needed to prove. He didn’t want her out of his sight. He knew Cade didn’t either. They both felt better when she was with them.

  Elle had come a long way from the terrified, wary, broken woman they’d found in the cabinet of a gun store. She’d gained much-needed weight. The dullness and fear had receded from her eyes. She smiled spontaneously, and she was affectionate with him and Cade.

  And it was driving him crazy. He wanted her. Wanted more than the role of protector. But he also knew Cade wanted the same, and it was time to address the elephant in the room.

  “Of course I haven’t made a move,” Cade snapped. “Have you?”

  Merrick shook his head. “You know I wouldn’t without talking to you about it and until I was comfortable that she was ready. I mean, I’m not talking sex here. I just want to take things to the next level.”

  Cade let out a raspy breath that sounded like a snarl. Then he dragged a hand over the top of his head before slapping it back down on the table.

  “I’ve known t
his was coming. That it was inevitable. Maybe I was in denial and wanted to keep on pretending that it wouldn’t come to this. I think we both know we have a problem.”

  “Yeah,” Merrick agreed. “What are we going to do about it?”

  Cade looked uneasy. He opened his mouth then closed it again, a sure sign he had something he wanted to say but for some reason was hesitating. Which wasn’t usual for him. He typically never had a problem stating his mind. It was one reason he and Merrick got along so well. They were both blunt people, and there was little room for misunderstandings when you had two friends who always said what was on their mind.

  “Cade?”

  Cade bit out a curse. “You’re going to think I’m nuts. Hell, maybe I am. This would probably never work.”

  Merrick leaned forward, his brow furrowed as he frowned. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. About our situation. The way things have been so far and the fact that you and I both have a strong interest in Elle.”

  “Go on.”

  Cade met his gaze, his lips pursed, and then he blew out his breath, puffing out his cheeks as he expelled it all.

  “What if we left things as they are now? I mean with the three of us. Only we’d take things up a notch. But the three of us would remain together. She’d be with…both of us.”

  Merrick reared back, leaning against the back of his chair as he let Cade’s words sink in. Holy shit, but this hadn’t been what he’d expected at all.

  He cupped a hand over his nape and rubbed hard as he struggled to make sense of the situation and, hell, just to imagine it.

  “That’s assuming she’d even ever agree to such a thing,” Cade said evenly. “She still has a lot of issues to work out. All we know is that we want to be with her for the long haul. It wouldn’t be easy with just one of us. But if both of us are involved? It’s going to be ten times as hard.”

  “No shit,” Merrick muttered.

  “Is that all you’ve got to say?” Cade asked in frustration. “I’ve put it all out on the line. Me, us, her, our friendship.”

  “This is heavy shit, man. I mean, I can’t wrap my head around it. I know such relationships exist. Hell, there was a damn documentary on one of the cable networks a few months ago.”

  “Think about what it solves,” Cade said quietly. “I don’t want this to ruin our friendship. Our partnership. Your career. We’d have to be extremely careful to keep this private. The thing is, Elle trusts us both. I think she feels something for both of us. Maybe I’m reaching here, or maybe it’s wishful thinking. But I think we could make this work, as bizarre as it may sound. You and I already trust each other. We’re as close as brothers. I’m not going to screw you over, and I know you won’t screw me over. If we were, we wouldn’t be having this conversation and trying to salvage a very sticky situation.”

  He took a deep breath and plunged ahead.

  “Trust is key in a relationship like I’m proposing. We can’t be stupid, jealous bastards. We have to know going in that we’re basically a family unit and that we have to work together, not at opposites. We have a common goal. We both care for Elle, and we both want to see her happy, safe and protected.”

  Merrick nodded. The more Cade talked, the more this craziness was starting to make twisted sense. Or maybe he was just scared shitless that he’d lose in a showdown, and this was his chance to hedge his bets.

  “I don’t know what to say,” Merrick admitted. “I wasn’t expecting something like this.”

  “You were expecting worse,” Cade said grimly.

  Merrick nodded again. “Yeah. I’ve been dreading it. If it were any other girl, I’d back off, you know? I’d say no woman was worth a lifelong friendship, a partnership and a vested business interest.”

  “But she isn’t just any girl,” Cade finished.

  “Yeah, exactly. She’s…” Merrick broke off even as the firm realization took hold. “She’s the one.” And he knew as he said it that it was the irrevocable truth. Somehow speaking it aloud gave it more strength. It solidified what he’d been grappling with for months now. It was a relief to get it out, to say the words, for Cade to know where Merrick stood.

  His pulse was pounding in his head and chest like a freight train roaring down the tracks. He stared back at Cade as the enormity of their discussion hit him like said freight train.

  “Now you know why I’ve been doing so much thinking about this,” Cade said in a grim voice. “Because I feel the same way, and I know you do too. One of us has to lose, and I don’t want that. I don’t think Elle wants it, even if she doesn’t know exactly what it is she wants.”

  “You’re telling me you would be okay with…sharing…her with me?” Merrick asked in disbelief.

  “What I’m asking is whether you’d be okay with sharing her with me,” Cade said. “I know what I’m okay with. I don’t know what you are. I’ve had several months to make peace with this. I don’t see an alternative. At least not one that offers us all a chance at happiness.”

  He was right. It was insanity, but Cade was right, and Merrick couldn’t even wrap his brain around it. Didn’t know how to respond. What to say. How to even agree to such a bizarre proposition.

  “We don’t know if she’ll ever go for this,” Merrick muttered.

  “Of course we don’t. But how stupid would it be for me or you to even mention it to her if we weren’t in agreement ourselves? If we do this, we have to present a united front, and we have to be damn convincing. She’s not going to want to cause trouble between us. I think she’d up and disappear on us if she even thought this would strain our relationship.”

  “Christ.”

  “Yeah, exactly. We have to be careful, man. I don’t want to lose her. She’s been through enough. I want her to be happy. I want to make her happy. Hell, I want us to make her happy.”

  “And what about her past?” Merrick asked, putting into words the thought that had haunted him the last six months. What happened when she remembered everything? What if she had a life she wanted to return to?

  “We cross that bridge when we get to it,” Cade said quietly. “What else can we do? Look, no one has been looking for her. We’ve had feelers out. Dad has been monitoring missing persons through his friend at the station. From everything we know, I’d say whoever was in her life was the one who tried to kill her. There’s nothing for her to go back to.”

  “That’s my feeling too, but my gut is screaming that this could backfire on us in a big way. We get emotionally invested, and then she gets yanked away from us.”

  “Merrick, we’re already emotionally invested.”

  Merrick was quiet for a long moment. “You got me there. I am. That’s not going to change.”

  “So let’s do something about it,” Cade urged. “We talk to Elle. Find out how she’s feeling. I don’t want to rush her. I’ll wait for damn ever if that’s what it takes. I don’t want to push her into a physical relationship. I just want and need her to know what’s going on here…and what we want.”

  Merrick swallowed hard. This may well be the most fucked up, insane thing he’d ever agreed to in his life. It also might be the most rewarding. He closed his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. When he reopened them, Cade was staring back, determination etched in every one of his features.

  “Okay,” Merrick said quietly. “Okay. We’ll try it.”

  C H A P T E R F O U R T E E N

  ELLE PULLED INTO THE PARKING lot of the local grocery store, a goofy grin attacking her face. She’d done it! She’d left the sanctuary of Merrick and Cade’s house—on her own—and had driven to the grocery store…by herself!

  Her triumph didn’t temper her caution, though, and she glanced carefully around the parking lot before she got out and hurried for the entrance. Despite her upbeat mood, there was still lingering insecurity over the fact that, for the first time since Cade and Merrick had found her in the gun shop, she was striking out on her own.
The first time she’d been without at least one of them since the very beginning.

  She grabbed one of the carts and pulled out her list, checking to make sure Merrick’s debit card was still securely in her pocket. Then with a deep breath, she began her shopping trip.

  It was all absurdly normal, and she got an equally absurd thrill that she was doing something so mundane as grocery shop. Something everyone else likely considered a humdrum necessity and not the veritable mountain of an obstacle Elle considered it.

  It took her half an hour to check off everything from her list. She’d been careful to ensure she bought things that Merrick could eat—and should eat—with his strict training regimen. But she’d also incorporated a few treats. It wouldn’t hurt for him to indulge every once in awhile, and she wanted to pamper him and Cade every bit as much as they’d pampered her.

  It may not seem like much, but she was determined to give something back to them.

  Elle piled her groceries onto the checkout conveyor and then hurried to stand in front of the cashier. Her hand slid into her pocket for the debit card Merrick had given her, and she froze and then stared at all the items she’d chosen.

  Her heart began to race, and dismay crowded her mind. She swallowed hard and then glanced nervously at the woman who was rapidly scanning the groceries.

  No. Not now. Damn it. She couldn’t freak out and melt down now. Not when she was so close to victory. She could taste it. She was a few short moments away from driving back home, a huge hurdle in her recovery overcome.

  She closed her eyes as despair swamped her. Despite her best efforts to push through the panic and fear, she utterly failed.

  For just a moment, she’d allowed herself to believe she was a normal woman going to the grocery store to buy the fixings for all the yummy things she wanted to make Cade and Merrick. As a thank you. Just to do something more to pull her weight.

  But she had no money. She didn’t even have identification if she was asked for it. Merrick had given her the pin number, stressing there wouldn’t be an issue as long as she didn’t use the credit option.