She felt tears welling up again. Not sure she could hold them back, she turned to head for the door again, figuring she’d try to regain her composure out in the peaceful darkness of the front porch.
But before she’d taken two steps, she spotted Ben coming toward her, dodging past several slow-dancing couples. She stopped short, startled to see him. She’d forgotten he was even at the party to begin with, and she found it hard to believe he had stuck around for so long.
Even more surprising than that, though, he was looking directly at her. For once his dark eyes didn’t glance and then skitter off, as if trying to avoid all contact. He kept his gaze locked on hers, and while his expression was as stoic and unreadable as ever, she would have sworn she saw concern in those eyes.
To her further astonishment, he walked right up to her and stopped. “Uh, hi,” he mumbled, his gaze finally faltering. Staring over her left shoulder, he shrugged. “So, um, do you want to dance?”
The last five words were muttered so quickly that for a second Carole wasn’t sure she’d heard them right. “D-Dance?” she stuttered uncertainly.
Ben nodded. Then he held out his arm.
Carole just stared at it for a moment, perplexed. Then, realizing that he was waiting for her to respond, she gulped and nodded mutely, not knowing what else to do. She stepped forward and placed a hand tentatively on his shoulder, feeling his hand touch down lightly at her waist.
They danced. Ben’s steps were slightly awkward and off the beat, but Carole didn’t mind. She also didn’t mind that he didn’t say a word through the entire song.
And after a while, it seemed only natural for her to turn her head slightly, resting it on his shoulder. She still felt sad and weird and confused. But also, all of a sudden, she felt just a little bit less alone.
FIFTEEN
Lisa stroked the Appaloosa gelding on his smooth cheek. “Good boy, Chip,” she murmured, feeling a little sad. Chip had always been one of Alex’s favorite horses at Pine Hollow. It seemed strange that Lisa would probably never help Alex tack up the gelding again. She smiled wistfully, recalling how Alex had jumped the first time he’d tried to tighten Chip’s girth by himself, not realizing that the gelding always nipped the air when he felt the strap tightening around him.
Alex thought Chip was trying to bite his arm off, Lisa thought. It was so funny, I thought I’d never stop laughing.…
She sighed, gave Chip one last pat, and moved on. This was no time to dwell on the past. She and Alex had talked it out—they had both agreed that this was the best thing to do. She had been a little surprised at first to discover that Alex was trying to work up the nerve to tell her the same thing she was trying to work up the nerve to tell him. But maybe she shouldn’t have been. After all, they had always seemed to read each other’s minds and agree on almost everything.
You’ll always be special to me, he had told her, blinking back tears. I mean it. I’ll never forget what we had, Lisa.
Me too, she had agreed, her voice sounding as though it came from somewhere very far away. You were the first guy I ever really loved.
Alex had bitten his lip then, perhaps taking note of the way she’d used the past tense. Then he had nodded. Good luck, Lisa, he’d said. I hope you’ll always be happy. And I hope we’ll still be able to be friends.
She had nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Somehow she doubted the two of them would be spending much time hanging out together as friends, though she supposed that as long as he was Stevie’s brother and she was Stevie’s best friend, they would see each other regularly. It wouldn’t be the same, though. It could never be the same as it was—not with Alex, and not with any other guy. That made her as sad as anything, that feeling. It was sort of like the feeling she got when she reached the last page of a really, really great book. The knowledge that it was over and that she could never recapture the feeling. Even if she read the book a second time, it wouldn’t be the same.
Lisa blinked and took in a deep breath, letting it out in a whoosh as she did her best to shake off the memories of the previous night. After all, she had as much reason to be happy as she did to be sad, and she preferred to focus on the happy part for a while. Smiling as she imagined what her friends would say when she told them her latest bit of news, she started down the stable aisle.
She found Stevie in Belle’s stall, picking out the mare’s feet. “Hey,” Lisa greeted her, leaning on the half door. “Going for a ride?”
Stevie glanced up and smiled. “Hey yourself,” she replied. “Happy New Year. And nope, I’m too beat to even think about anything as strenuous as hoisting a saddle.”
“Really?” Lisa cocked her head to one side. “But what about our tradition?” For as long as they’d been riding at Pine Hollow, she and Stevie and Carole had done their best to go on a trail ride together every New Year’s Day.
Stevie brightened. “Oh! I almost forgot about that,” she said. “With all the excitement and everything this year…” She shrugged. “Speaking of which, I forgot to ask you last night. What did you think of the wedding?”
“It was great.” Lisa smiled, remembering how happy Red and Denise had looked as they’d promised to spend their lives together. “Very romantic. I’m glad Max and Deborah insisted on throwing it for them instead of letting them go down to the town hall or whatever.”
“Me too.” Stevie sighed happily.
Lisa glanced at Belle, who was standing quietly at Stevie’s shoulder. “So how about that trail ride?” she prompted. “Is Carole here?”
“Nope, haven’t seen her.” Stevie checked her watch. “Maybe she’s off somewhere making up with Cam.”
“I hope so.” Lisa had been too distracted to pay much attention to Carole and Cam the previous evening. But she had seen Carole leaving with Maureen instead of Cam, and then Phil had mentioned that he’d heard they’d had a fight. “What happened between the two of them, anyway?”
Stevie lifted one shoulder slightly. “I’m not sure.” She tossed her hoof pick lightly from one hand to the other. “I only talked to Carole briefly—she just said it was over and she didn’t want to talk about it. But you know how that goes. When you have your first fight, you always think it’s over. But I’d bet my dressage saddle that they’re together again by the end of today.”
Lisa nodded, figuring she was right. Carole and Cam would work things out. In the meantime, she had bigger and better things on her mind. “By the way,” she said, carefully keeping her voice casual. “I had an interesting talk with Mom this morning.”
“Oh?” Stevie said cautiously.
This time Lisa couldn’t hold back her grin. “Uh-huh,” she said. “She told me she changed her mind. We’re not going to move!”
“Yee-hah!” Stevie shrieked so loudly that Belle tossed her head and stepped back, startled. Stevie opened the stall door and leaped out into the aisle, practically bowling Lisa over with her hug. “You’re staying! That’s great! I guess your mom was listening to me after all.”
“Thanks,” Lisa replied breathlessly, laughing at her friend’s enthusiasm. “I’m pretty happy about it myself.” She blinked, suddenly realizing what Stevie had said. “Wait. What do you mean, my mom listened to you? When did you talk to her?”
Stevie released her, grinning sheepishly. “Well…”
“Spill it,” Lisa demanded suspiciously. “What have you been up to?”
Stevie shrugged. “Okay, you know me,” she said. “I couldn’t just sit back and do nothing while your mom dragged you halfway up the East Coast. Um, so I was thinking about some of those plans we were talking about a while back—you know, like paying my little brother to take your place or whatever.”
“Yes?” Lisa chuckled, remembering that conversation. She had been so upset then, but looking back, it really had been kind of funny. Then she frowned slightly, realizing what Stevie was saying. “Wait a minute. Don’t tell me you actually tried any of those ridiculous plans?”
“No, no,” Ste
vie said hastily, stroking Belle as the mare cautiously returned to the front of the stall. Pushing Belle back a step or two, Stevie swung the door shut to keep her from wandering out into the aisle. “Like I said, I was sort of thinking about it. But Phil talked me out of trying anything crazy like that.”
“Thank goodness.”
“He also said something that started me thinking,” Stevie went on. “He said I had to start acting mature, or something like that. Which is kind of ironic if you think about it, since he actually seems to think that World Wide Wrestling is, like, actual entertainment for grown-ups, not to mention how he still eats that cereal with the bunny on the box—”
“Focus,” Lisa broke in. “I’m still waiting to hear how you ended up chatting with Mom.”
“Oh, yeah.” Stevie smiled apologetically. “I was just getting to that. See, I started thinking about how maybe being mature and logical and everything might just work. I mean, it’s probably what you would have done in my place.”
“What would I have done?” Lisa was feeling confused.
Stevie patted Belle on the nose. “I went and talked to your mom,” she said. “You mentioned she’d be coming home from her trip on Monday, so as soon as you turned up here at the stable, I figured that was my chance. I hightailed it to your house so that your mom and I would have some quality time alone.”
“Really?” Lisa thought back, remembering how upset she’d been when Stevie had blown her off that day. She was surprised and touched to learn the real reason she’d done it. “Wow. I had no idea. What did you say to her?”
“Oh, I just presented the facts,” Stevie replied. “Like the fact that none of us here in Willow Creek could possibly live without you.”
Lisa smiled and reached out to hug her friend again. “Thanks,” she said. “It means a lot to me—that you cared enough to do that. I hate to tell you, though, but I’m afraid that isn’t what did the trick.”
“That’s okay. I don’t care what did it as long as you’re really staying.” Stevie hugged her back, then turned to push away Belle, who was nosing at her jacket pocket. “No more carrots for you, you big pig,” she told the horse firmly. Then she returned her attention to Lisa. “Just out of curiosity, though…”
“It was her trip to New Jersey.” Lisa sighed, remembering her mother’s grim face as she’d related the details of her trip. “It seems it didn’t go quite as well as she’d hoped. I guess she’d been picturing it as some kind of perfect place, where she would get to hang out with her sister all the time and be happy. Sort of like when she went up there this past summer. She had a ball during that visit, but this one was totally different.” Lisa grimaced, feeling bad about her mother’s disillusionment, though there really wasn’t much she could do to help. “When she got there this time, it was snowing a little. Apparently she thought that was great at first. But after two solid days of flurries, making the roads slippery and the sidewalks slushy, it got kind of old.”
Stevie nodded. “I don’t know how those people up north do it,” she agreed. “A little snow once in a while is nice, but it does get old fast. Especially when you’re dying to go on a trail ride and you can’t do more than walk because the footing sucks.”
“I know,” Lisa said. “And Mom’s not the type to pull on snow boots and make the best of it, you know? But also, when she thought about living there, I think she realized that she would be leaving our nice, quiet, tree-lined neighborhood, with our big yard and everything, and moving to someplace where you’re lucky if you have space for a decentsized shrub.” Lisa pulled up a mental picture of her aunt’s home. “I expect she also noticed how noisy and crowded it is around there, with all the traffic and long lines at the stores.” She shuddered, realizing how close she had come to having to deal with all that herself. “But the biggest thing—at least this is what she says now—was the real estate prices. When she started looking around, she found out that there was no way we could afford anything even close to being as nice as our house here.”
“Really?” Stevie stroked Belle’s nose. “Expensive, huh?”
“Brutal,” Lisa said. “Mom didn’t go into a whole lot of detail this morning, but from what she did say, it sounded like we probably couldn’t afford to buy a house at all, or even rent anyplace decent. So the only other options would be to rent a small apartment, which Mom couldn’t stand.” She winced, thinking how true that was. Her mother was very appearance-conscious, and living in a three-room apartment would probably kill her. “Or else we would have to move in with Aunt Marianne and Uncle William for a while until she saved up enough money for a down payment.”
“Yikes,” Stevie said succinctly.
“That’s what I said. For a second, I actually thought she was telling me that was what we were going to do.” Lisa shuddered at the thought. “Luckily, Mom seemed to find the idea just as horrifying as I did, which makes me think maybe she and Aunt Marianne got on each other’s nerves a bit during this visit.”
“So just like that, the big moving plan is scrapped?” Stevie asked. “You’re definitely staying?”
“It looks that way.” Lisa smiled, still hardly daring to believe it. “What a relief.”
“I’ll say,” Stevie agreed. “This is fantastic news, and you know what we do when we get fantastic news.”
“What?”
Stevie grinned and slapped Belle on the neck. “We go for a trail ride!”
Lisa smiled. “I thought you were too tired to hoist a saddle,” she teased.
“Forget it. I just got my second wind,” Stevie declared, already turning down the aisle. “Now come on, let’s hit the tack room.”
“What about Carole?”
Stevie stopped short. “Oh, yeah,” she said. “I can’t believe she’s not here by now. After all, this is supposed to be the first day of the end of her grounding.”
Once Lisa had sorted out that sentence, she nodded. “That’s right. Besides, I was hoping to give her my big news in person. You’re the first one I’ve told.” She smiled as she imagined sharing the news with Carole, and then with her other friends, like Callie and Scott. Banishing the image of Scott’s possible reactions, she turned to Stevie. “For all we know, though, she may be spending the whole day with Cam. Maybe we should just head out. We can leave a note in the office in case she gets here and wants to ride out and find us.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Stevie agreed immediately. “Let’s go!”
“Oh! There you are, sweetie,” Colonel Hanson said breathlessly, rushing into the kitchen while tying his necktie. “Did you just get up?”
“Uh-huh,” Carole said listlessly, though she had actually been awake for more than three hours. She just didn’t feel like going into detail at the moment. “Where are you going?”
Her father glanced at her briefly, though his expression was distracted. “I have that charity auction today, remember? I’ll probably be late, so you’re on your own for lunch and dinner.” He smiled. “But that shouldn’t be so bad, right? Especially since your punishment officially ended at midnight.” He grinned. “Congratulations, honey. You survived. And you’re off the hook.”
“Really?” Carole did her best to feign the happiness and anticipation that she should have felt at that announcement. “I can go back to riding full-time? And back to my job?”
“Yes,” her father replied. He held up one finger. “I do still expect you to keep your grades up, though. And when you go back to work, not quite so many hours, okay? Otherwise we’ll be right back where we started.”
“Don’t worry, Dad,” Carole said. “I’ve learned my lesson.”
He smiled again and rushed off toward the hallway, and she slumped back in her seat, poking distractedly at her barely touched English muffin. She had learned her lesson, all right, but not only the one her father knew about.
I still can’t believe it wasn’t just some horrible nightmare, she thought, her throat constricting as she thought of Cam. But I know it couldn’t have be
en. You don’t have nightmares if you can’t fall asleep.
She grimaced, remembering the way she’d tossed and turned all night, trying to come to terms with what had happened. Somewhere around four-thirty in the morning, she had finally been forced to face the awful truth once and for all. She had been a fool, a stupid, naive fool. The Cam she thought she knew—the kind, caring guy who sincerely loved her and wanted her to be happy—had been an illusion, created out of her own hopes and dreams and insecurities and fueled by her memories of their younger days together. But a kind, caring, loving guy wouldn’t do what Cam had done to her. There were no two ways about that.
I must be the world’s biggest loser to have fallen for his lines, Carole thought morosely, pushing her plate away. And I fell for them, all right, hook, line, and sinker.
She blinked back the tears that were threatening to spill over. Now that she knew what a cad Cam was, why did it still hurt so much to think about him? How could she still, even now, care about him?
I guess I really am the world’s biggest loser, she thought, resting her elbows on the table. It’s no wonder guys aren’t lining up for me.
At that, the image of another guy popped into her head. Ben. What had that been about? She had just about fallen over in surprise when he’d asked her to dance.
That was so weird, she thought, feeling her cheeks grow warm. For a few minutes there, she had almost forgotten about Cam as she’d relaxed in Ben’s arms. It was like he knew, somehow, what had happened with Cam and wanted to, like, comfort me or something. Help me through it. Be a true friend.
It had been a nice feeling. Neither of them had said much when the song had ended and they had parted ways, but Ben had smiled at her tentatively and muttered something about seeing her soon. It really was as if they’d connected somehow, in a different way than ever before. Become closer. Would he acknowledge it when she saw him next? Or would it be just like that kiss all over again, where he pretended it never happened?
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