by Aine Massie
“Sure.” Louie looked curious waiting for the questions.
“Anya and Nicholas both have said that once they love someone it never stops. They can have falling outs or spend time apart, but that once they love, they always love. Is that not always true?”
“Interesting question, considering. It’s complicated at times, like in this case. We were lovers, but she was never entirely in love with me, like she is with you two. To complicate matters she doesn’t even remember me from before and as we did not have the blood connection that she and Nicholas have, she would not even have that draw to me. But yes, I still love her, though she is not my lover, if that makes sense. But, what we had does not change what I have with Simon now, nor should it. I knew her human husband. In fact, I attended their wedding. I was truly happy that she had found someone she could love and be happy with, just as I am that she has you and Nicholas.”
“You do realize you are talking about me like I’m not here, right?” I asked, crossing my arms, looking between the two of them. Louie had been my lover, and he had known Braden? Life never calms, huh?
“Sorry Anya, that was rude of me,” Louie apologized with a smile. “You’re right, it’s not, especially since you didn’t know any of this. Maybe you now understand why I was upset with Simon for bringing up that we had a past. I wanted you as a friend again because you chose to have me in your life, not out of obligation or curiosity. Nor did I want either of your mates to feel cautious or threatened by my presence.”
“No, I understand. Sometime you will have to tell me about both our past and about Braden, if you would. I remember his wake, and still suffer the painful, empty hollow from his loss,” I continued as I pulled the necklace to the outside of my top. The one that held my wedding ring from Braden. “But that is all. Simon isn’t going to be upset that I now know, is he?”
“No. He didn’t agree with me not telling you. I didn’t meet him until after you left so he didn’t know you, other than through what I told him, and then what he heard from Nicholas, but he thought you should be told since I am a link to your past, at least a small part of it. I hope you aren’t too upset I didn’t tell you before.”
“How could I be upset? I do want to know about my past, always, but your reasoning makes perfect sense to me. And as for your question earlier – I would be honoured to have you as not just a tolerated friend of Jonathans but as a true friend of my own.”
Beaming happily, he grabbed both Declán’s and my hands and began tugging us back upstairs. “Good, now come. You have a love that needs your support and a House to deal with.”
“Wait,” I pulled back laughing. “If we were lovers then why do you call me child? That seems a strange term of endearment for me in context of what you just said.”
“Ah, that. I started that after you left. Somehow continuing to call you mon trésor seemed like a bad idea. It didn’t seem to bother you, but I will stop if it bothers you now.”
“No, it’s fine. Call me what you want,” I replied shaking my head. My world is so bizarre.
As we headed the rest of the way up and back to the others, Declán leaned over and whispered to Louie, “Did she rant in Irish back then too? She does that to Nic and me both and sadly, we neither know Irish.”
“Yes, but then I tend to rant in French so at least we had to think through our fighting words before translating to the other. I’m sure we were comical to hear. Sadly, she eventually decided to learn French. Totally unfair.” Louie and Declán were both laughing as we finally found the others.
“Anya, there you are. I was getting worried.” Nicholas still looked badly shaken on top of weak.
“I’m sorry, a mhuirnín. These two had to reason with me a bit, but I’m better. How are you doing? How long till we can get you started on healing and all?” Jonathan was off to the side talking to Amber and Geoff. “And where are Peony and Star?”
“You going to stop long enough for me to answer any of those?” Nicholas teased lightly. “The three over there are currently debating who the best choice to heal me is. As to Peony and Star, I believe they are with Simon at one of the cottages where they have Thomas and his mate.
“But more to the point, how are you doing, love? I – I saw what they had done to you. I know you heard and saw part of it while you were getting me out of there.” His voice was so soft, the pain in it made my heart ache for what he had been forced to witness. No one should have to see that, no one.
Carefully sitting next to him and pulling him gently to me, I tried to comfort him some. “Don’t worry about me, please. Louie fixed me up just fine, so I could go get you back. Right now the only worry you need to have is getting better. I would heal you myself, but Louie and Simon told me before I left not to do that, that I wouldn’t be up for it, yet.” I looked back to Louie, and asked, “Do you still feel that way? Mine is the strongest in the House, normally anyways.”
“I still say the same, ch– Anya. Normally you would be the best choice, but you only just recovered, and as I was the one you fed from, I’m not sure I would be the best choice either. I haven’t done much while you were gone other than help quiz Thomas and pace like the rest. Jonathan would be a good choice as his sire. The complication comes in due to what you have done to him; he's much stronger than Jonathan now. Amber is even younger than Jonathan.
“Wait, Anya, you desiccated the one during the rescue. Who was it, do you know?”
“Yes, his name was Nicky. He was very powerful, though that’s not why I did it.” I had to stop there as I shuddered with both loathing and pleasure.
“Oui, oui. I know who that is. Hold on,” he murmured to me. Turning to the three arguing in the doorway, he called, “Jonathan! I think you need to come here instead of continuing that argument. You need to hear this first.”
I was curious as it seemed was everyone else. What had I said that had Louie in such a twitter?
“Do you know who Nicky is, the one with the Elder House Anya went and half destroyed?” Louie was staring at Jonathan oddly; he had the “you know who” face he gets occasionally.
“Yes, why?” Jonathan seemed nervous, as was Amber suddenly.
“That’s who Anya desiccated! Do you understand? She didn’t just kill Nicky or anything, she completely desiccated him first.”
Jonathan gasped, eyes going wild. “Anya, you destroyed the . . . are you sure it’s the right Nicky? That’s a rather common name.”
“I don’t know why you two are acting so weird. Louie, you said none of you were going to be angry with me for what I did.” Why did I suddenly feel as if I was being judged and examined at the same time?
“Anya, I’ll explain in a minute. Just, can you describe Nicky first?”
“Sure, I guess. He was maybe five–six, wiry, outdated clothes with short–cropped brown hair. He looked about thirty in human years, but he wasn’t just one of their fighters, he was an Educator. Nicholas can back me up as the video on at the time was of some of what he did to me,” I replied. I was struggling to control the seething in my voice. I knew at least part of what he’d done to me and could even remember flashes, though not a lot thankfully.
“Are you sure?” Jonathan asked excitedly.
“Of course I am.”
Nicholas chimed in right after, “I saw hour upon hour of what he did to her and I saw what she did to him. He deserved that and more, but that is who it was. Why you two–”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe because that means she fed to the point of utter desiccation on one that was over three thousand years old. One that had fed on some of the Ancients. I had thought– I thought I was misreading her sudden power shift due to her finally embracing her nature and allowing herself to revel in her own power a bit. But,” Louie was staring at me with those penetrating eyes of his as if I was some priceless treasure.
“That might explain part of her trance state too,” Jonathan continued for Louie. “But all I can feel off her is power, like always. I have never been good
at detecting the differences past a certain point – a point she was already past.”
“Okay, great, I get that you all are excited about something but right now I’m more curious about how to help Nicholas. Does that mean that I can help him even with how recently I was ill or not?” Could they please stop with the examination routine and get with the healing?
Jonathan and Louie shared a strange look and then Jonathan turned to Amber, “Dear, could you go get Simon? I think we have the who, but if Nicholas has the same problem letting go that Anya had with Louie, we may need extra help to remind him to stop, and we can’t ask Declán to help with this. He needs to not be here right at first.” Turning to face Declán, “It’s nothing against you but we essentially have to do the same thing for Nicholas that was done for Anya. Though, I have a feeling she won’t be nearly as drained.”
Louie chuckled, “No, I imagine she won’t be. Not now.”
“Ya know, I do live here too,” Declán said tersely.
“A ghrá, I don’t mind if you stay here at the house, but I don’t think you should be in the same area. I was exceedingly disoriented that first time, and they had trouble getting my mind to focus enough to make me to stop. That isn’t safe for you. It’s not that I fear you seeing Nicholas biting me, you’ve seen that before, I just worry about your safety.”
“Fine. I’ll be good, and um, go to my room. Will that suffice?” I could see the frustration in his eyes. He was still scared for Nicholas.
“Thank you, a ghrá.”
“Thank you, Dec. It means a great deal to me that you care so much, but if she thinks it dangerous, then please. I would hate to endanger you,” Nicholas said calmly.
“Fine, but once done I get to visit, right? I had planned to help her rescue you, but she made it where I couldn’t go. I am still very upset about what happened and don’t like not being able to see you safe, here.” Declán was such a marvel, amazing.
“Your room is across from mine, it’s not like you won’t be able to find me,” Nicholas said with a smile. “You can come stare at me all you want later,” he teased with a wink.
The smile that broke across Declán’s face was too precious. “Deal.” He trudged off to the stairs, still grinning.
Louie looked at me oddly for a moment before finally deciding to ask, I think, “He’s seen Nicholas bite you?”
“Um, yeah,” I mumbled, quickly looking to Nicholas. Would he be upset?
“He’s seen her bite me too if you must know, Louie. Boy you’re nosey,” snapped Nicholas.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend. I’m just surprised you would do that in front of a human, even your human mate, that’s all.” Poor Louie, he was staring intently at a random spot in the carpet.
“Well, we have. But, I immensely dislike discussing such private matters with others, especially with Jonathan and Amber in ear shot. I know to most a sire is also a lover or master or friend, but for me, he is a father, so it makes this conversation a little awkward.”
“Sorry. I’ll go see what’s keeping the others,” Louie muttered as he quickly removed himself from the conversation and the room.
“Don’t be too hard on Louie, love. I really don’t think he meant to embarrass you and Jonathan was fastidiously ignoring the conversation.”
“I know. By the way,” Nicholas continued as we waited for the others. “How did you convince Declán to stay behind? I can tell he’s a bit upset with you over it.”
“Ah, I cheated. I arranged for his parents to come out this weekend for a visit. He didn’t know until Kayla showed up to kidnap him. She knew that I needed him not to go with me, but she didn’t know why. She’s amazingly trusting considering she knew her brother would be upset with her for helping me. But, I couldn’t have him near them. I know he doesn’t understand and you may not either, but . . .” I was shaking again. The thought of either of them near those monsters . . .
“Shh . . . shh . . . It’s okay, love. Knowing what I know now, I don’t think I could have allowed him to go with me had this been the other way around. I still can hardly believe what I saw with my own eyes though, you were glorious!”
“Anya.” Declán’s voice came from behind me as I was standing at my window, watching the leaves dance in the summer breeze outside.
It had been hours since the last transfusion for Nicholas and Amber was playing mother bear nicely for him. She still suffered guilt for not being able to protect him from the five, a point we were all trying to help her through since it was by no means her fault.
“You need m, a ghrá?” Declán had been in with Nicholas since shortly after I left him with Amber.
“I’m worried about you; you’ve been so sullen since returning with Nicholas. We all are, really. Come on, sit with me?” He gently took my hand and pulled me over to my bed to sit. His face was so serious; nothing like it usually was – especially when alone with me on a bed.
Tracing the dark circles under his eyes, I thought about all the happenings of late and how this must all be so strange for him. “A ghrá, you are exhausted, you should get some rest, not be in here trying to cheer me up. I appreciate your dedication to Nicholas and to me, but–”
Putting his fingers over my lips to shush me, he took a deep breath, ordering his thoughts. “Anya, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me right now. Nicholas is doing much better. Jonathan says that should be the last time you need to do that, well . . . for that reason anyway,” he added with a smirk. “But, that’s not why I came in. I know Louie talked to you already about things and that some of the others have as well. What I’m trying to figure out is, why you are avoiding me?”
Moving his hand away from my lips to talk I pulled him to me, wrapping my arms around him, holding him firmly. “I’m not avoiding you deliberately, I promise. I’m just working through so many things in my head right now. A lot of it would make no sense to you.” He wouldn’t understand the wars going on in my heart and head.
“I know. But, something changed for you, in relation to me. Louie told me about your rant over biting me and your insistence that you were too dangerous to my safety – his wording is sometimes really weird. But, something happened between us just as the poison came to change you.
“I love you! I don’t like that you are acting like we still need a chaperone to be around each other.” Declán’s voice was so shaky it scared me. “Please, tell me that I’m imagining things.”
I sighed. How to make him understand that something changed within me and that he’s right, but not for the reasons he fears? “A ghrá, I don’t really know what to tell you that will comfort you.” Declán pulled away looking down as I spoke. What was going on in that head of his? “I feel as if I should be chaperoned when with you. What happened that night between the three of us was beyond my imagining. I could not be happier, truly, but it is also so confusing to me.”
“What confuses you? I love you. I want to spend my life – short as it may be to you – with you, loving you, being your friend, lover, and companion in all things.” He spoke with such conviction it brought me to tears again. How I wished I could see myself the way he did.
“You have no idea what that means to me. But, do you understand that I was ill the night you speak of? That my strength was weakened severely already and that Nicholas protected you in a way, though I know he wasn’t with you out of any sense of obligation,” I quickly clarified. Even without having to ask, I knew he was with Declán because he wanted and cared for him. He did not need to doubt what I knew was the truth.
“I know why Nicholas did as he did and I know why I did as well.” Declán fidgeted for a moment before continuing. “Nicholas and I have already talked, dear. I wasn’t referring to that part of our relationship, he is a separate piece.” The wistful smile was precious. “I was speaking of us, just the two of us.”
“I bit you; you had no defence other than your link with Nicholas. I also now know the depths of violence I am capable of.”
&nbs
p; “You weren’t in your right mind when you bit me. I have faith in you,” he murmured against my cheek, leaning in. Moving to the side, he whispered in my ear, “I love you.” His warm breath tickled, his lips sending shivers through me as he kissed and nibbled my ear.
– Knock – knock –
The words that intruded were as surprising as they were frustrating. Louie’s voice intruded, “Your human females are coming to visit. I thought you should know before . . .” he trailed off. I swear I could hear the smirk in his voice as he peaked around the door into my room. “They are pulling up now.”
“Thank you Louie,” I sighed. “I guess we got our chaperone after all.”
“Grr,” Declán protested. “Fine. I suppose they probably want to check on Nicholas as you went off and told them something was wrong when you arranged for me to be trapped here while you ran off playing hero.” Declán looked to Louie. “Do you think he’s up for a visit with others like me? I don’t want my sis or Skye to be a prob.”
“A prob?” Louie muttered, shaking his head. He didn’t overly care for half spoken words, especially out of one he knew had a better grasp of the language. “Nicholas should be fine. Actually it might do him some good to see a face or two that have not been obsessively hovering over him. But come on, play with your friends now, play together later.”
Translations
A mhuirnín – beloved one
Grá mo chroí – love of my heart
A ghrá – my love
Bog leat soith – move along dog
Mon trésor – my treasure
About The Author
Áine P Massie is originally from Florida, she now lives in Wisconsin where she works on her House Millar series full time while raising four children (the term herding cats comes to mind). Her major in College was Childhood Education (specializing in 0–5) with a minor study in Deaf Culture/ASL. She is also a Wiccan priestess dedicated to the Gods, family, and love.