by Pandora Pine
“He’s such a good kid.” Bronson pressed a gentle kiss against Nash’s forehead. “No kid should have to carry the burden of keeping a secret.”
Once again, Nash agreed whole-heartedly. “Does Tucker know that you’re gay?” He’d been trying to figure a sensitive way to ask Bronson that question, but figured the best way was just to come out and ask.
Bronson nodded his head. “We had a talk a while back about how some people fall in love with girls and how others fall in love boys. He knows that I like to go out on dates with men and give them kisses goodnight.”
Nash laughed, shifting up on one elbow to see Bronson’s sea-green eyes. “We’re doing a hell of a lot more than kissing each other goodnight. Has he asked about that?” Nash cringed, not certain if he should be asking these questions.
“No.” Bronson shook his head. “Why do you look so nervous asking about Tucker?”
“He’s your son and I, um…” Nash took a deep breath. “I’m just his teacher.”
“Don’t say that, Nash. That little boy loves you to pieces. All he does is talk about you, Mr. Spencer this and Mr. Spencer that.” Bronson laughed. “I think we both fell in love with you on the first day of school. If we’re going to be in a relationship together, you’re going to be a huge part of Tucker’s life. You’re gonna help raise him.”
Nash shook his head, trying to hold back his emotions. The one thing he wanted more than anything was to become a father. “I sure as hell fell in love with both of you that day too. I just can’t believe I’m lucky enough to be part of your lives beyond the classroom.” If this conversation went on much longer, he was going to end up crying on Bronson’s shoulder.
“So it’s settled then,” Bronson said happily, rolling Nash onto his back. “I’ll pick up Tucker’s favorite dinner on my way back from the attorney’s office and after we eat, you and I will tell him about us. What do you think?”
Blinking rapidly to hold back his tears of joy, all Nash could do was nod.
13
There was a bite to the late September wind as Bronson hurried along Lime Street toward Rainier James’ law office. As much as he hated leaving Nash’s warm embrace, Bronson couldn’t pass up the opportunity to meet with Rainier on a Sunday afternoon when he didn’t have Tucker. There was no way he’d bring his son along on a trip to his lawyer’s office. Actually, he didn’t even know if Rainier was his attorney. He’d seen a fee schedule on the website and Rainier’s services were pretty pricey.
Despite the chill in the air, Bronson was sweating his ass off. A case of nerves always did that to him. Only a month ago, his life with Tucker was perfect, but he was lonely with no handsome blue-eyed man in his life. Now, he had Nash, but could very easily lose his son.
The law office was a simple shop front with the names of Rainier and his partner on the door. His heart hammering, Bronson pushed through the front door and saw the office was empty. "Rainier?"
"Hey, Bronson!" A voice yelled from the back of the office. A moment later, Rainier ran out of his office and toward his potential client. He was dressed in a pair of worn jeans and Patriots sweatshirt.
Bronson's anxiety doubled as the other man ran toward him. "Bronson McKinnon." He held out his trembling hand to shake with his potential lawyer.
"Rainier James." The lawyer shook his hand. He seemed to be sizing Bronson up with his eyes.
Bronson thought the lawyer was a dead-ringer for his brother with his dark eyes and wavy, dark hair. "It's good to meet you. I've heard a lot about you."
"Don't believe everything my brother or Nash tells you." Rainier rolled his eyes. "Come with me and we can get started. Can I get you anything to drink? Coffee? Water?"
"How about a shot of Jack Daniels?" Bronson asked on a nervous giggle, only half-kidding. He hadn’t been this nervous when he was going through his divorce. He’d known Alicia didn’t want Tucker full-time, so at the very least he was guaranteed some sort of shared custody, but if Alicia won, Tucker would be two hundred miles away from him and Nash.
Rainier stopped dead in his tracks and turned around to face Bronson. "I can't possibly imagine what you're going through, Bronson, but I can promise you I'll do everything in my power to keep your son here in Massachusetts.”
Bronson nodded, feeling too emotional at the moment to talk without bursting into tears. Even with Nash in his life, it would kill him to lose Tucker.
Rainier clapped a hand on Bronson's shoulder before heading into his office. "Please sit." He indicated a comfy-looking high-back chair in front of his impressive mahogany desk.
Taking the seat Rainier pointed to, Bronson tried to settle himself down a bit.
"Thank you for faxing over a copy of the lawsuit. It gave me time to review it." Rainier slipped on a pair of expensive-looking glasses.
Bronson had a lot of time to review it too. Every time he read it, he felt sick to his stomach. At least sitting here with Rainier, he knew he'd get a professional opinion about what to do next. "What did you think?"
"I think that in all my years of studying and practicing family law, I've never read a more offensive and downright bitter lawsuit."
Not expecting Rainier's take on the problem, Bronson burst out laughing. Of course Alicia would have a hand in being the most offensive plaintiff Rainier had encountered.
Rainier grinned over his horn-rimmed glasses. "What the hell did you do to piss your ex off this badly?" Rainier grabbed a pen and flipped to a blank page on his legal pad before he turned his full attention back to Bronson.
Bronson sighed. He knew coming in that he'd have to tell the story about his sham of a marriage, well aware of how bad the story made him look. "I'm gay, and dated Alicia to hide my sexuality. She coerced me into having sex with her one time and she got pregnant with Tucker. She never wanted anything to do with our son and finally when he was two years old, I couldn't take it anymore and divorced her." Bronson looked down at his hands, folded in his lap, not wanting to see the judgmental look in Rainier's eyes.
"Look, Bronson. It's not really my story to tell, but my brother struggled something fierce with coming to terms with who he was. It was hell on me watching him struggle, so I can't imagine what it was like for either of you to go through it. I'm in no position to judge you for how you lived your life, but that doesn't mean the judge assigned to this case won't take that into consideration on both sides."
"Both sides?" What was there to take into account on Alicia's side? She was the wronged party, so to speak.
Shoving his glasses back up his nose, Rainier pegged Bronson with his dark eyes. "Anyone who has spent time working in the family court system can tell you that revenge is our stock in trade. Based on the wording of your ex's lawsuit, it's easy to see she's out to stick it to you in any way possible."
"I'd wondered if that was the case or if this is how all custody suits were written." Bronson had found not only the language but the allegations especially harsh.
"Parents want custody of their kids for any number of reasons, child support money, to stick it to their ex or because they truly love their kids and put their best interests first. Alicia is alleging that your lifestyle," Rainier said that word like it tasted bad in his mouth, "is putting Tucker at risk. Do you agree with that?"
Biting his lip to keep from laughing out loud, Bronson took a deep breath. This was the very heart of the matter and Rainier needed to hear the cold hard truth about his ex-wife. "Alicia's dream had always been to go to journalism school and become the next Diane Sawyer. Getting pregnant with Tucker derailed that plan for her. She had to drop out of school after our sophomore year. Throughout her entire pregnancy, she bitched and moaned about losing her dream."
"How did you spend her entire pregnancy?" Rainier looked poised to write again.
"I took classes online, worked part-time at the library and tried to spend as much time with Alicia and my unborn son as I could because she wasn't very responsible."
Rainier quirked an eyebrow. "What
do you mean not very responsible?"
"She didn't eat well, forgot to take her pre-natal vitamins, and..." Bronson trailed off, seeing that day clear as a bell in his head, even though it was six years ago. "And she drank."
"Drank alcohol?" He bit his lip, looking like he was trying not to smile.
Bronson nodded. "I came home one day after work and she was sitting in front of the television with a bowl of chips and a beer in her hand. I wanted to yell and scream at her for hurting our baby, but all I did was take the drink away from her and then made her a sandwich."
Carding a hand through his dark hair, Rainier focused his attention back on Bronson. "Tell me about the day Tucker was born."
Bronson's face burst into a bright smile. Despite everything that was going on, the day his son was born would never cease to make him smile. "It was the best day of my life. I'd gone to all of the Lamaze classes with Alicia and knew exactly what I was supposed to do. All through the labor and birth, she screamed at me, calling me every name in the book and telling me how much she hated my fucking guts. Those were the first words my son heard on this earth, Alicia telling me she hated me." Bronson paused taking a shaky breath. He knew Tucker would never remember the day he was born, but Bronson would.
Rainier looked up from his legal pad with a frown on his face. "What happened after Tucker was born?"
"I cut the cord and got to hold him for the first time after the nurses weighed him and took his tiny footprints. Alicia didn't want anything to do with him. She lay in bed complaining about the pain and watching Jerry Springer. I had to force her to hold him. I'd read in parenting books about how important those first few hours are for bonding with the baby. She held him for a minute and then shoved him back at me."
Rainier shook his head. "And it continued on like this, with her not participating in Tucker’s life?"
Bronson nodded. "Like I said, her treatment of Tucker was the reason I filed for divorced and asked for full custody."
Rainier frowned again. "Why didn't you get it?"
"Alicia's family has money and they hired some high-powered Boston firm to represent her interests. She didn't want Tucker, but filed for joint custody just to hurt..." Bronson sighed, knowing he deserved to pay for the way he treated her, but for how long?
"You?"
"Maybe, but I think the real reason she did it was to hurt Tucker." Bronson sank his head into his hands.
"That reinforces my assumption that she filed this lawsuit for revenge. There's nothing stopping her from handing over full custody of Tucker to you so she can go off and start her new life with her fiancée." Rainier shook his head and took off his glasses, setting them down on the desk blotter in front of him.
"I thought the same thing," Bronson said miserably.
"What I'm going to need you to do is write down every instance you can remember where Alicia mistreated Tucker. Don't leave anything out, no matter how slight you think it is. I need to draft a countersuit and will need that information to write it."
"I can do that." Bronson sure as hell had a lot of material to cover in the five plus years of Tucker's life.
Rainier took a deep breath and put his glasses back on before grabbing his pen. "Now comes the hard part. Alicia's suit alleges your inability to be a good father based on your sexual orientation."
Bronson sighed, nodding his head in agreement.
"You and I both know that is pure and utter horse shit!"
Glancing up from his hands with a shocked look on his face, Bronson leaned closer to the desk. "I'm glad we're in agreement there." It was nice to know that there were people in this crazy world who thought gay men were good fathers.
"I don't mean to be personal, but are you seeing anyone?" Rainier asked casually.
Thinking of Nash turned Bronson's entire mood around. The morning they'd spent loving each other was one of the best times of his entire life. Saying I love you and hearing Nash say it back was a dream come true. "I am. I started seeing Nash Spencer."
"I thought so." The look on Rainier’s face was grave.
Bronson didn't like the look on Rainier’s face. "Is that going to be a problem for Nash since he's Tucker's teacher? Did Remington say that Nash was facing consequences for our relationship?"
Rainier shook his head. "No, no, nothing like that. Rem has been friends with Nash for years and he's thrilled that Nash found someone."
"Why do I sense a but coming on?" Bronson had a really bad feeling about this.
"There is a but coming, but it has to do with your being in a relationship, not who you're in the relationship with." Rainier took off his glasses again and folded his hands in front of him on the desk.
"What do you mean? Are you trying to say I need to break up with Nash?" Bronson felt queasy. His stomach was tossing like a rowboat in a hurricane. How would he get through this custody battle without his biggest fan at his side?
Rainier nodded with a sad look in his dark eyes. "Alicia is alleging that your being gay affects your ability to parent Tucker. It would look more favorable if you were single during this process."
"How long will this case take?" Jesus Christ! Bronson's head was swimming. Rainier was serious about him breaking up with Nash. They’d only sorted themselves out this morning. How the hell was he going to tell the man that he loved that they couldn’t be together?
"Depending on how agreeable the parties are, a suit like this could take anywhere from a few months to a few years." The sad look in Rainier’s eyes was genuine.
"A few years?" Bronson would never survive without Nash. He was struggling being without him now. He couldn't imagine how it would feel not being able to touch his lover for years.
"I know what I'm asking is a tough thing to swallow, but it's what's best for Tucker and for you and Nash in the long run. We’re both adults here, Bronson. If Nash is the outward reason you lose custody of Tucker, your relationship will never survive."
In his heart, Bronson knew Rainier was right. He could literally feel his heart splintering into a million pieces. “If I do this,” Bronson sucked in a shaky breath that felt like his lungs were full of broken glass, “will it increase my chances of keeping my son?”
Rainier nodded. “Any other family lawyer worth his salt would advise you the same way.” Slipping his glasses back on, Rainier smiled at Bronson. “Sitting here with you for the last half hour has shown me what an amazing man and father you are. Knowing Nash as well as I do, I’d guess that those are two of the main reasons he fell so hard for you. He’ll understand that being apart for now is the best thing for you and Tucker.”
Bronson nodded miserably, wondering how in the hell he was going to explain this to Nash, and Tucker for that matter. He was going to need to have a talk with his son tonight, but it wasn’t the one he and Nash envisioned having.
“And Bronson, when I say apart, that means no contact at all. No texting, no emails, no casually bumping into each other at restaurants or parties, no smoke signals, no passing notes. You can have nothing to do with Nash Spencer beyond dropping off and picking Tucker up at school. Understood?”
Bronson understood in order to keep his son, he was going to have to say goodbye to the man who had completely stolen his heart.
XX
Nash couldn’t sit still. His emotions were all over the place. While Bronson was at Rainier’s law office, he’d been so full of energy that he’d cleaned Bronson’s whole apartment. Although, truth be told, he spent a lot of that time in Tucker’s room playing with his cool dinosaur toys.
It was still hard to believe that this morning was real. He’d taken a big chance coming over to Bronson’s apartment unannounced, especially after the way things had been between them all week with Bronson giving him the silent treatment.
As much as Nash loved Bronson, he knew the bond Tucker had with his father was so much more important. His hurt feelings were nothing compared to the thought that Bronson could lose Tucker. Nash couldn’t imagine anything worse than t
hat sweet little boy living with his ice queen of a mother.
“Nash?” Bronson shouted.
Scrambling to his feet, Nash set the rubber T-Rex he’d been holding into the dinosaur bin and headed toward the sound of Bronson’s voice. “Coming.” He ran through the living room toward the front door, stopping dead when he saw the lost look on Bronson’s face. “What happened? Are you all right?”
Bronson set the grocery bags he was carrying on the table and took off his coat, slowly hanging it up before turning around to face Nash. He shook his head no.
Nash ran to him and wrapped him up in a tight hug. “It’s going to be okay,” he whispered, holding Bronson tighter. He felt Bronson still shaking his head. Whatever happened, Nash had a feeling it was really bad.
“Here, come sit.” Nash dragged Bronson to the table and pulled out a chair for him. “I’ll unpack the food.” To be honest, Nash needed the distraction. He knew whatever Bronson had to tell him was going to drastically affect their lives and maybe even their fledgling relationship. He wanted to delay the talk for as long as possible.
Inside the first plastic grocery bag was a bottle of chocolate milk, which Nash knew both McKinnons were crazy about, and a bottle of ketchup. In the next sack was a bag of French fries and chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs. He had no doubt this was Tucker’s favorite meal. He put all of the food in the fridge and took the seat next to Bronson. “Okay, spill it. Whatever happens we’ll deal with it together.”