And perhaps she still was.
CHAPTER 15
Heard It on the Radio
FOURTEEN WEEKS.
She marked the little calendar that she kept in her purse. She and her baby had made it through the first trimester. With wonder, hope, fear, she put a hand to her belly.
At least a dozen times in the past week, she had started to tell Lyle. Ever since John Cole’s heart attack, she had felt close to Lyle in a manner that she had not before experienced.
Yet, for reasons she really could not understand, whenever she opened her mouth to speak to him not only about the baby but about the emotions in her heart, no words would come out. Each day she got more in a pickle, more stressed, more anxious.
Stopping at the message board in the kitchen, she wrote: Honey, let’s go for dinner up at Logan’s and drive out to the lake on the way home so we can be alone. Love you.
She went out through the back door, closing it softly behind her. Halfway along the walkway, she turned and went back into the kitchen and over to the message board.
She erased what she had written, took up the marker and stood gazing at the blank board for long seconds.
Taking a deep breath, she wrote: Honey, we are pregnant.
There. She might not be able to say it, but she could write it.
She turned and walked out of the house, got into her car and headed for Main Street.
Have you lost your mind? Telling him on a blackboard? And then, Will you tell him the entire truth? Will you tell him about what you did?
I don’t know.
She could write it all on the message board, but it would be long.
When she paused at the stop sign at the corner, she almost turned back to go wipe off the message, but she put her foot hard on the accelerator, sending the car forward.
She was quite scattered all day. She mixed up orders, called customers that she had known all her life by the wrong name, and then, right in front of Arlo, she was in tears at a news report of a mother giving birth to quadruplets.
“You okay, Belinda?” Arlo asked. He had never seen his cousin cry.
“Of course I am. It was just touching. They gave them ten thousand dollars and a Caravan.” She gestured. “You act like you have never seen a woman get emotional.”
“Well, I never saw you do it.”
“You talk like I am hard-hearted Hannah.”
“I didn’t say that. I just meant that—”
“I don’t care what you meant. I can get upset just like anyone else!”
Arlo retreated to the storage room with a comic book.
Belinda slipped back to the restroom with a blood pressure monitor.
Of course it was up! She was going on four months pregnant and had informed her husband by a note on a message board.
Not only that, but her body was no longer her own. She felt taken over by an alien. The term morning sickness was definitely misleading. Hers could strike at any time, day or night, and usually when she felt the least upset. Her tastes were unreliable, too. The idea of coffee had become sickening, but she accepted rich latte. Anything fattening and artery clogging was what her pregnant body craved.
And then there was her emotional state. She had never been one to cry. She could watch the most heartbreaking news, like whole families made homeless in storms, and be told about car wrecks, sickness or death, and she took it as the inevitability of life and death, but now, when she saw a stray dog, she got all teary. This was not helped by her energy level dipping in the afternoons. She had fallen asleep over the drugstore accounts. And she could not remember things, had clean forgotten to pay the Visa bill, and was absolutely horrified. She had never been a forgetful person, most especially when it came to money.
Marilee’s voice came over the phone. “Corrine has been accepted into the Oklahoma School of Science and Mathematics.” Her tone wavered between pride and despair. “We didn’t say anything before, because we were not certain about her actually going—it’s so far away. But she has decided to go, so please mention about her being accepted on the About Town spot today.”
“Today? Is it…well, of course it is.” Belinda was embarrassed for Marilee to know she had forgotten her own radio spot.
Marilee appeared not to have noticed. She said, “You know, the school is all the way up in Oklahoma City. Corrine will have to stay in a dormitory durin’ the week and only come home on the weekends.” Marilee’s voice cracked. “But the school only accepts about seventy high-school sophomores each year, so it is a real honor. Say that her family is very proud of her.”
“Of course you are.”
“It’ll just be so hard with her away.” Marilee’s voice broke.
And Belinda surprised herself by blurting, “It sure will!” Her vision blurred as she noted for About Town: Corrine Pendley accepted by prestigious school up in Oklahoma City.
After hanging up the phone, she went to get herself a latte. She filled the cup half-full and resisted adding whipped cream. She was attempting to balance calories and stress. Food did calm her, and calmness was an important factor. No matter what experts said, grabbing an apple simply did not have the same comfort effect.
Thinking of this gave her the idea to put Saint-John’s-wort, valerian root and fish oil as that week’s Blaine’s Drugstore specials. She would throw in the basic blood pressure machine, too, at ten percent off. There had been a higher interest in the blood pressure machines since John Cole’s heart attack. People generally skipped over the cheaper model for the more expensive one once they got into the store.
She was making the sale tags when Oran Lackey came hurrying through the door, and instead of going to the pharmacy, he came straight over to the soda fountain counter.
“Winston just had an accident.”
“What happened? How bad is it?” Belinda reached for her purse.
“He was drivin’ his lawn mower again and ran into the sheriff’s car. Right into it.” Oran smacked his hands for illustration.
“Did they take him to the hospital? How bad is he?” She dug for her keys.
“Oh, no. He’s okay. He hung on to that mower, never came off. He was a little jarred, but he seemed okay. Just mad. I drove him on home.”
“Oh…well, good.” Relief mingled with annoyance that Oran had not said that in the first place. She actually felt a little faint and reached for the counter to steady herself.
A few minutes, and more latte, later, she thought to ask how fast the sheriff had been driving.
“Oh, the sheriff’s car was parked,” Oran told her. “Right around on Church Street toward the rear of the station. Winston said he swerved to miss a squirrel. The mower is out of commission, the front wheels are all out of whack. Sheriff’s real glad.”
“Oh.”
“I witnessed the whole thing,” said Oran. “I’m not sayin’ there was no squirrel. I’m just sayin’ I did not see one.”
Belinda gazed at Oran, then bent her head to make a note for the About Town spot: Winston had an accident, but he is fine.
She checked the clock for the twentieth time. It was still too early for Lyle to be awake yet.
She headed down to the post office, where she ran into Emma and received a full report on John Cole’s progress.
“The first couple of nights he was home were rough, but we’re doin’ better now,” Emma reported to both Belinda and Julia Jenkins-Tinsley, stationed behind the counter. “He still has to sleep in his big chair in the family room—it hurts him to lie down—but he is sleepin’. It’s still real painful for him to cough. He has to hold this pillow against his chest—it’s just awful to watch.”
“Well, I saw my daddy after that same surgery,” said Julia, “and if I ever have to have it, just let me die. They pry your ribs right open.”
Watching the postmistress illustrate with her hands, Belinda swallowed.
Emma said, “John Cole has been so brave through it all. Never a word of complaint. And he’s already walked
out to his shop a couple of times. I watched him from the window.”
They all agreed that modern heart surgery was a miracle.
Belinda jotted: John Cole Berry, a very good patient, recovering nicely at home in the loving arms of his grateful wife and family. Goodness, she was teary when sad; she was teary when happy.
Julia said, “If people would just do aerobic exercise and eat right, they wouldn’t have to go through such an operation.”
“Bingo Yardell had a heart attack, and he’s skinny and plays tennis,” Belinda said, tears gone and ready to smack Julia with her own mail.
Emma jumped in. “John Cole is not overweight, Julia, and heaven knows he was on the go.” Then, with a lowered voice, “I did find out that he was still sneakin’ cigarettes from friends around him.”
For once Julia did not comment. Belinda was glad Inez was not around.
“I do believe that the key is to relax more and often,” said Emma with conviction. “He is just doin’ so well bein’ relaxed about everything. You learn what is really important.” She turned to Belinda. “Honey, would you please tell it on About Town today—that we so appreciate all the cards and good wishes John Cole has received. He has learned that he has so many friends. And say that he is doin’ real well. But he is not up for visitors or telephone calls the rest of this week.”
“Will do.” She noted: Good recovery, good friends, no visitors this week, and underlined the last part.
“And Naomi was just so right,” Emma said, before going out the door. “This time is a real gift, bringin’ me and John Cole closer together like we never have been before. You just don’t know what you have until you almost lose it.”
She smiled brightly and waved. Both Belinda and Julia smiled and waved back.
As Emma disappeared from sight, Julia said, “Seems like she’s pleased that John Cole had the heart attack.”
Belinda opened her mouth to respond, then shut it. Might as well save her breath.
Julia weighed the packages Belinda had brought—exchanges to QVC and HSN—and said, “I’ll tell you somethin’ else that can bring a couple together.”
“What’s that?” Belinda placed her wallet back into her purse and checked to see if she had any chewing gum.
“Separatin’.”
“Uhmm?”
“Separating. Havin’ some space between you. That’s what Juice and I are doin’.”
“You and Juice are separating?” Belinda’s head snapped up.
“Uh-huh. We are gonna stay married separately. The Long-acres next door to us are sellin’ their house. They’re movin’ down to Ardmore—she’s inherited her mother’s home. Big thing from what she says.”
“I know. I told it last week on About Town.”
“Yes, and that’s when I had the idea. I’m goin’ to buy their house and move over there. I always loved her kitchen—it has the nicest nook.”
“Ah-huh.” Belinda stared at Julia.
“Juice is just too sloppy for me, and he eats the junkiest stuff and snores the roof off. He just annoys the fire out of me, and I don’t want to live with him anymore. But I do not want to divorce him. He’s a great Chinese checker and Scribbage player…and we do like to take road trips together.”
“Ah-huh.”
“So we’re stayin’ married but livin’ in different houses.”
“Ah-huh.”
“You know where I got the idea? Quote by Katharine Hepburn. Hepburn said men and women would do best to live next door and visit now and then. Juice thinks it is a good idea, too. This way we can each live just how we want to. And we’re gonna share Pixie, our little dog. Juice is puttin’ a little doggie door in the fence. He’s just real good at stuff like that. Why would I want to divorce him?”
“Ah-huh.”
“I want you to tell everyone on your radio spot today. I don’t want a lot of gossip. We’ll just lay the facts out there. We are doin’ this to bring us closer all the way around. You can note that down.” Julia motioned.
“Ah-huh.” Belinda brought out her small note card and jotted on it.
“Oh, here’s the weekly postcard from your mother. She says the same ol’ thing.”
“Ah-huh.”
“I’ll be listenin’ today.” The postmistress smiled quite happily.
To each his own, thought Belinda.
Stepping briskly, she walked the short distance on the sunny sidewalk to the bank. At the double doors, Iris MacCoy and Norman Cooper were coming out. Iris gave her always-friendly hello, and Norman his shy one. Norman kept his head down as he held the door for Belinda. Suddenly the door banged into her elbow. Rubbing it, she saw with annoyance that Norman had taken off to catch up with Iris at the curb. He all but had his tongue hanging out after her like a dog after a bone. Or a big sugary cake. Iris was an Amazon-size woman, a full head taller than slight Norman, Belinda thought, with some amusement at her own comparison.
The teller, Maggie Lou Blades, leaned forward. “Did you see Norman Cooper and Iris MacCoy?”
Belinda looked at the woman’s avid expression. “No, I didn’t.” She passed over the drugstore deposit.
Maggie Lou said, “Well, I saw you pass them on your way in.” She counted the bills in the swift manner of all tellers who could talk and count at the same time.
“Really? I didn’t notice.”
“He was about fallin’ all over her when he met up with her in here. He’s at that age, you know.”
Belinda looked at her. “And what age is that?”
“Well…when men start wantin’ to stray around.”
“How old are you?” Belinda asked.
“I’m…twenty-nine. Why?” She slid the receipt across the counter.
“I’ll mention that on About Town today. I guess that is the age for turnin’ into a gossip.”
“Why…Belinda, what is wrong with you today?”
“Thank you for the service, Maggie Lou. I’ll mention on About Town today that the bank customers can come in here and see you and hear about everyone’s business.”
She turned and left with Maggie Lou calling after her, “I did not say anything of the sort. Don’t you say that on the radio.”
She supposed she had reacted a little crazy to Maggie Lou. She never had pretended to like the woman, but she supposed it was that mention about age that caused her to be irrational. And the idea of gossiping, although why gossip would bother her now, after all these years, she had no idea.
Because she was pregnant and a bundle of hormones and emotions, and waiting for her husband to find out he was going to be a father by a message on the refrigerator. What had she been thinking?
She was not thinking, obviously.
She craved a vanilla shake. Surely it would be okay. She had been very good with food. A treat was surely in order, and she would get it from the Burger Barn before her radio spot.
With the car windows down and the summer breeze blowing through, she sat beneath the shade of the parking overhang and drank her sweet treat. It was like a mini vacation. After sucking up every bit with the straw, she sighed, set the cup aside and repaired her lipstick in the visor mirror.
Catching a movement in the mirror, she peered closer. She saw a lanky figure at the pay phone at the edge of the Burger Barn lot.
Yes, it was Andy Smith there, talking on the phone.
The pay phone was the only one left in town anymore. Everyone had cell phones these days.
One would think Andy would have a cell phone. Or use the phone at the café or Woody’s house, where he was reportedly living.
She watched him finish talking and hang up the phone. He hung it up very gently and stood there as a person does in thought. Then he walked over to the order window of the Burger Barn.
Belinda got out of her car and went over to him. “Hi, Andy.”
He glanced over, eyebrows going up. “Hello.”
“I’m Belinda Blaine…from Blaine’s Drugstore. We met a few weeks ago at the café�
��maybe you remember?”
“Uh…yes. Good day.” The server appeared at the window with two drinks for him. Andy paid, took the drinks and stepped away from the window. “Would you like to order something now?” He gestured at the window.
“No. I had a milk shake earlier. I just saw you and thought I would say hello…and ask you how you are doin’ in town.”
His eyebrows went up, and then with something of a crooked grin, he dropped his gaze downward for a long second. Then, “I’m enjoying it quite a lot. It’s a nice place, Valentine, and I like working for Fayrene.” His eyes came up, and he smiled.
“So you’ve decided to stay?”
“Guess so. Well, thanks for the chat, but I need to get back to helping Woody with his flower bed…take him his drink. It’s pretty hot out here.” He cast her a smile as he started away, but his eyes were hard.
She called after him, “It sure is hot, but we’re all used to it. Is it this hot where you come from?”
“Sometimes.” He did not look back or break stride.
Belinda felt foolish. And hot. Turning from watching him cross the road, she got back in the car that had been sitting in the shade, started it and turned the air-conditioning up high.
As she drove away, she thought of the people she had spoken to, and about, that day. Life just continuing to happen, as it normally did, which for some reason at the moment seemed strange and quite annoying.
She checked her cell phone, wondering if Lyle had called while she was out talking with Andy. That would be just like life to have it happen that way.
There had been a call, but it was listed as an unavailable number. Most likely her mother calling from France. Disappointed, Belinda closed her phone.
Catching sight of Larry Joe Darnell and Monica Huggins in front of the Texaco garage—Monica straightening Larry Joe’s collar—she thought that it was a lot easier to pay attention to the lives of other people than to her own. She could get everyone else straightened out and taken care of in five minutes, if they would just listen to her.
Her own life was much more difficult.
Little Town, Great Big Life Page 17