by Ondjaki
“there’s nothing in there,” one of the Brazilians said, “just observation materials, research...”
“but everything has to be examined, you get it, mah honey?”
“i have to pay money?”
“maybe... let’s take a good look at those suitcases, open up, please”
the agents, equipped with impeccable white gloves, searched the scientists’ baggage, some were searched more than others, last-minute airport taxes were invented and by luck nobody had to hand over dollars because the reception committee included people from Angolan travel agencies well versed in the process of verbal resolution with airport workers
“these are scientists, what’s going on, just let them through, they’ve been authorized by the government and everything”
“can’t they just leave us a favour? a favour is a voluntary thing, brother, nobody’s asking for anything,” one of the white-gloved agents growled, closing a suitcase that had been examined
“tell me something, young man,” the Brazilian insisted, “are we going to pass through some jungle on the road to Sumbe?”
“jungle? how’s that? you gentlemen are going to Sumbe and Sumbe is a city, it’s the capital of Kwanza Sul Province”
“but does it have jungle? like jungle with wild animals?”
outside, baptized by waves of heat and body odour while they waited for the tour bus that would take them to their hotel, they were approached by countless youngsters who tried to sell them soft drinks, water, telephone cards, stolen cellphones, or more specialized products
“what’s that?”
“pure en-clips sunglasses, elder, you’ve gotta buy them now so you’re not taken by surprise, the eclipse is almost here”
“and i came here precisely to observe the eclipse, i’m a scientist, do you understand?” the Brazilian smiled at the young vendor
“then the gentleman must know that he can’t just stare at the sun, the sun doesn’t like it”
“that’s right, i know, let me see what those glasses are like”
“these are the real deal official sunglasses, boss, they’re even authorized by the government, i ain’t sellin’ any ol’ product, y’know, it’s fifteen dollars, boss, but Euros are okay, too”
“and the real? can i pay with the real?”
“no, boss, for the moment i’m not working with Brazilian currency”
“so you know the real is the Brazilian currency?”
“yeah, i know, boss, but you can pay in dollars or tell me the hotel where you gentlemen are staying and i’ll come round later with products for your whole retinue”
“how did you know the Brazilian currency is the real?”
“we know all the currencies here, boss, even Chinese money”
“and is the city of Sumbe far away?”
“it’s pretty close, boss, in a candongueiro you can do it in less than four hours, but are you going to take the real-deal shades?”
“the shades?”
“the goggles, the anti-en-clips sunglasses, the ones i’m selling... look, boss, they’ve got a stamp and everything”
“who knows... i’m not prepared now, but we can talk later, look, here comes my bus”
“just a few dollars, boss, even if it’s only ten, i’m gonna give you a good price, boss, Brazilians are like our brothers, like Mr. Lula...”
“are you from here in Luanda?”
“no, boss, i’m from Uíge”
“Mweejee?”
“Uíge, the city of Uíge”
“is there jungle there? have you been in the jungle?”
“jungle?”
“yeah, jungle, with wild animals”
the travel agent told the young man to move along, even gave him a disrespectful shove, and made the scientists enter the poorly parked tour bus
“did you have to shove me like that? you guys get violent when you’re escorting foreigners, it’s as if you think of even Brazilians as foreigners...”
“shut your goddamn mouth and go get a job,” the agent said, grumpy about the heat and about his work
“aren’t i workin’ at my job now? buy some goddamn en-clips glasses so you don’t go blind”
“who told you i’m going to look at the eclipse?”
“and who told you that you don’t have to wear them even if you’re not looking? there are people who are going to start wearing them the night before”
“hey, leave me alone, i’ve got my own stuff to worry about”
the tour bus, with hazard lights on, pulled away with its door still open, but was intercepted by two police officers who, to the agent’s despair, lay in wait for it up ahead
“good afternoon, comrades, who is responsible for this vehicle?”
“i am,” the agent replied
“please step out with the bus’s complete identification, we’re going to have to see everyone’s papers”
“but they just left the airport, they waited three hours for their luggage, Mr. Officer, this is a group of scientists who came to bear witness to our eclipse”
“here outside the airport we’re in a national situation, this is what you might call a daily occurrence”
“but they’ve already been identified, Mr. Officer”
“so give me all the passports together for a simple verification”
the Brazilian got out of the tour bus to smoke and approached the policemen
“everything in order, Mr. Officer?” he smiled at the men
“everything’s in order with me, and you?”
“fine, i’m beating the heat, just fine... we’re on our way to Sumbe, y’know?”
“yeah, i know, i was born near there”
“ah, so you know the area?”
“yeah, i know it”
“do you know if there’s jungle there?”
“jungle?”
“yes, jungle, i’d like to see wild animals of the African jungle”
“it’s better to talk about that with your guide once you get there,” the policeman disguised his laughter, glancing in complicity at the other officer, “you just arrived from Brazil?”
“yeah, just now, i mean, three hours ago, eh? the baggage carousel was a shambles”
“yes, sir, and you’re here for the arrival of the eclipse?”
“yeah, we came to observe, to study...”
“very good, and did you bring monetary values?”
“how’s that?”
“values in dollars or Euros?”
“no, no, we didn’t bring anything, they said it was all included”
“but it’s always good to carry some cumbú”
“cumbú?”
“cumbú is money, what you guys call grana”
“oh, yeah, grana, right”
“right,” the policeman said calmly, “but sooner or later you’re gonna need grana... cumbú!”
“right,” the Brazilian pretended, with his cigarette in his mouth
“do you have a cigarette, Mr. Scientist?”
“yes i do,” he pulled the pack out of his pocket
“can we keep the pack? we’re going to be here all afternoon, you see...”
“fine, you can keep it, can we get moving?”
“yes, you can, sure, have a good trip, the National Police wish you gentlemen scientists an excellent stay and concomitantly a correspondingly good eclipse!”
“your Portuguese is wonderful!” the Brazilian appeared to be genuinely startled
“thank you, have a good day,” the policeman saluted and went to divide up the pack of cigarettes with his colleague
“the police here are nice guys except that they like to smoke other people’s cigarettes,” the scientist commented
“they’re like me,”
the agent remarked, “i smoke but i don’t assume”
“you don’t inhale? you got some kind of health problem?”
“no, i smoke but i don’t like to assume the losses from actually buying cigarettes”
the Brazilian laughed, he liked the joke, he hung his head out the window and began to look at the city, several billboards mentioned the eclipse, the city, at a number of points, had been painted or rearranged for the occasion, but as soon as they left the airport area endless scaffolding appeared, walled-off buildings and streets, recently dug-up red earth, cracked concrete, blocks of tarmac torn out of the streets and everywhere plaques that named CIROL
“cie-roll? what’s cie-roll?”
“it’s the Commission for the Installation of Recoverable Oil in Luanda”
“a commission? for oil? what’s that about?”
“excavations, we’re headed for the future”
“which future?”
“they found oil here, underneath the city of Luanda”
“and you can drill?”
“of course we can, it’s our land”
“yes, but in terms of the safety of people and buildings, can you drill just like that?”
“we have really advanced techniques, people came from other countries and everything, the government’s overseeing it all”
“you believe in this government?”
“i can’t compare, i’ve never known any other government,” the agent said
“are they still prospecting?”
“they’re getting started, the excavations are for the installation of tubes and machinery, any moment now oil’s gonna start gushing out, and they say that if they find oil in somebody’s backyard that person gets a commission”
“so what i heard in Brazil about people having oil wells in their backyards is true?”
“no, those are just Brazilians’ stories”
“Brazilians’ or Angolans’?”
“well, they’re stories spread by Angolans who go to Brazil to tell those stories, and they’re Brazilians’ stories when people like you, sir, believe in them”
“don’t call me ‘sir,’ we’re practically friends... what’s your name?”
“Bernas”
“Burn Ass?”
“Bernas”
“oh, Bernas, pleased to meet you, i’m Serginho, what a funny name, is that your tribal name?”
“no,” the young man laughed, “it comes from Bernardo, i’m Bernardo, but in my family they call me Bernas”
“i see”
after two hours in heavy, noisy traffic, they reached the hotel, unloaded their suitcases, and said goodbye to the driver and the guide
“well, Bernas, if you find out something about our route, if we’re going to pass through or we’re able to visit some jungle you let me know, eh?”
“okay, sure, have a good stay and a good eclipse”
“a good eclipse to you, too.”
as the cockroach got closer
and in response to some of its movements, the television in Raago’s room stopped working or broadcast static that caused the occasional appearance of images from a pornographic movie with two blonde women and a black stallion endowed with an enormous sexual organ, of the type that in Luanda is known as a kinjango
or which, in certain family circles, answers to the spiritual name of salardote
the American smiled, watching the albino cockroach whose antennae stirred in an even more fidgety way when subject to direct observation
“i wonder how many stories you could tell me... if only you could speak,” the American murmured, lying on the floor looking at the steamy little cockroach
he was surprised by the sound of the ringing telephone but avoided abrupt movements because he knew that the cockroach was easily frightened, and the friendship he had achieved through time and patience demanded that he move slowly
he answered the phone and was glad to hear the voice of his friend and fellow scientist Davide Airosa, who would come around later to pick him up for a big dinner at Paulo Paused’s place
“should i bring something, a bottle of wine, perhaps?”
“no, no, you don’t have to, don’t worry, if there’s one thing there’s no shortage of there, it’s booze,” the other said.
“a bottle of Portuguese wine, preferably from Alentejo,” João Slowly ordered, smiling
“here it comes,” Noah replied, heading for the ark, “good and cold, or natural and warm?”
“good and cold, so my throat doesn’t lose the habit, Senhor Noah”
“here it is”
“we’ll open it to celebrate”
“so?”
“so didn’t i tell you i was coming here right away so we could settle this business?”
“oh, yeah, the stuff about the yard,” Noah remembered, opening the bottle of wine, preparing the glasses
“bring more glasses, i’m paying for a round of red wine for everybody”
at his table, the Leftist smiled and thanked him with a nod, at another table two others imitated the gesture and hurried to finish their warm beers to free their glasses of prior commitments, the wine was served and the toast proposed
“to our Angolan eclipse!”
“to the eclipse!”
“so how do things stand, Senhor Noah?”
“in theory the Chinese are moving out today, they didn’t want to move out, i rented it for one year, it expired more than a month ago and they didn’t move out, when you told me you were interested, i went to talk to the men”
“and they didn’t move out?”
“you can’t even imagine the trouble this caused me, they threatened me with Kung Fu tricks, the Bruce Lee fuckers...”
“and you didn’t show off your skill in mixing karate with Angolan bassula?”
“not me, i’m too old for that, i left them in peace and came back the next day”
“you came back with the police in tow?”
“no, i came back towing an AK-47 ”
“oh, nice, those chinks wanted to fool around with Noah the commando”
“certain matters can only be resolved with an AK-47”
“did the boys rub them out?”
“i got there, i fired two shots in the air and i asked where that Bruce Lee guy was, but the guy i asked panicked and took off on his hind legs”
“sure, you’re right, after all, we were trained by the Cubans”
“that’s right!”
“so what about today?”
“we’re going back there, if you want we can go right now, they must be clearing everything out, i gave them the end of the afternoon as a deadline”
“but should we go there right now, just like that, to catch them off guard?” João Slowly was not exactly the most courageous of Luandans
“of course we’ll catch them off guard,” Noah opened the ark and out of an opaque plastic bag he pulled his gleaming AK-47
“are you certain, Senhor Noah, that it’s not better to go well prepared? with these Chinese people you never know...”
“what could be more prepared than this? all that’s missing is the psychological factor ”
“what do you mean?”
“we take our buddies along, have a quick rough-and-tumble in the yard, then return from our mission for another glass, are you on board, comrades?”
“i’m on board after i finish my drink,” the Leftist affirmed
“us, too,” the others said, gesturing with their hands to indicate they wanted their glasses filled up again
“well...” João Slowly murmured, finishing his glass, “i declare initiated, by unanimous vote, Operation Enter-the-Dragon’s-Lair!”
“then bring another bottle of wine!” one of the regulars urged
“Bruce not here,” said a weeping woman, a very short Chinese with a child in her lap
“okay, let’s keep it cool,” Noah lowered his weapon and suggested that the others hold their alcoholic breath, “has he left for real?”
“everything gone already, person come get pillows and beds”
“very good, very good,” Noah said, without knowing what else to say
“then let’s proceed with the countdown,” João slowly said
from within the outbuilding came beds, pillows, baskets, fruit and vegetables, oil lamps, candles, a tiny generator and gas cans, kitchen utensils, suitcases, and enormous bags of clothes and other objects, all carried out the back door to a truck also driven by more-or-less smiling Chinese
“wait up... have i been drinking too much? how many Chinese have already left that place?” Noah appeared confused
the rest of the group made gestures with their fingers and their eyes, it was puzzling, they entered and left, went to the car, their clothes and faces were too similar and there were children thrown into the mix so that at the end, when they had finished removing everything and a woman came to hand in the key, Noah climbed up onto the back of the trolley, his weapon slung over his arm, and a strange silence fell among the Chinese
Noah climbed down with a defeated expression, joined his friends to stare at the departing vehicle, then finally offered his verdict
“these Chinese are fucking unbelievable!”
“how’s that, bro?”
“well, when i rented out the place there were seven of them, just now i counted eleven, including two babes in arms and two pre-adolescents”
“scientifically speaking, that’s complicated...” the Leftist commented, pointing towards the bar and suggesting that they return right away
“scientifically? don’t fool around with the Chinese”
on their return they opened two more bottles, Noah wrapped up his AK-47 again in a long plastic bag then tightened it with two small tethers and locked the imposing weapon away